[REDACTED] vs. Juniper Steelestring

[REDACTED] vs. Juniper Steelestring

[REDACTED] vs. Juniper Steelestring

353 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: artsandgoodies, candycorn rhino, candycornrhino, juniper, larathen, redacted

317 points
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Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 12   Posted: May 6 2020, 05:00 AM
Wow. I loved both of these, damn. It’s funny how you both went for a terrifying reveal at the end despite drastically different comics.

Candy - I think you’re one of my favourite artists on the site tbh. I just always enjoy your comics, the humour is great and your style is really pleasing to look at. I loved your portrayal of Garland and Juniper - you got really creative with her abilities and especially her strings, that was sick - and how you wove that story thread into Redacted’s. You’re able to transition very well from suspense to humour and back again (I loved the picking nose gag lmao), and I love the little details you add. Not just in the environment, which I’ve mentioned before, but in things like the little tear in Redacted’s socks for his dew claws. The fight scene was great, I especially liked when Juniper was shoved into a wall on page 16, really felt that impact. And that last page, hoo Boy. That was a Moment.

This isn’t really a crit per se, but I’d be interested to see you get more adventurous with your colours. Apart from the bright of Redacted’s hoodie, a lot of colours are fairly close to real life and can be dull (such as Redacted’s muddy skin and the faded brick wall) and I don’t often see you set comics at times or in places with unusual lighting. That’s not an issue or problem! I’m just interested to see how you’d tackle such scenarios. In Great Escalations we saw a bit of that and I’d love to see more!

Arts - I REALLY like how you draw Juniper, especially her face; I really get the sultry yet smug vibes from her. Your anatomy has also improved so much in a really short amount of time. Those paws in panel 2, page 2 look great! It was cool to show off just how messed up and dangerous Juniper is, with that “fight” and that reveal at the end. I’ve gotta admit, that caught me off guard - I thought she was playing dumb with the guy at the beginning and he was the target, not the entire club! It was a great moment. I also liked the experimental perspectives such as that shot from inside Redacted’s mouth.

I agree with Rivana in that Redacted didn’t always look like a dinosaur. Not just in his lack of bulk, but the way his head was drawn. His head in general looked a little wonky at times, though I can’t quite put my finger on why. My only advice is to look at T. rex skulls if you ever draw Redacted again. And while I enjoyed the humour here too, some of it was hit and miss. For example, I liked Redacted’s fall down the escalator but didn’t get the “let me in” meme at first glance.

# 11   Posted: Mar 30 2020, 03:10 PM
Rhino: dang son way to start off with just a KILLER first page! Especially with them backgrounds and that lighting on Garland, like. dang. I also really love the humor you've got going, with the dark and suspenseful mood at the beginning ending with Juniper speculating on how big and powerful Redacted is gonna be...... going immediately to Redacted wondering if he can pick his nose XDD That's such a good humorous juxtaposition, it's great. That last page was also V Good! My only real nitpick is how Redacted handled the cold so well this time? Is it just cuz he's got a hoodie?

Arts: I really love the story in yours, and the visualization of the blood smell. The "Let me in" meme was also V Good XDD I don't know that I have any real critiques--real good comic overall :'D

# 10   Posted: Mar 29 2020, 02:39 PM
Two bloodthirsty monsters coming together, how sweet :)

good work friends!

# 9   Posted: Mar 29 2020, 12:21 PM
Great work both of you guys, Candy -- I been enjoying the ongoing story of Redacted so far and this latest chapter does not disappoint, I especially loved the small bit of him picking his nose and blood coming out with no problem, lol.

Arts- I have seen your artwork and coloring evolve through the short time I been here and it amazes me how fast you are developing, keep up the great work sir, we all notice and love your improvements :-)

# 8   Posted: Mar 27 2020, 06:43 PM
Excellent work from both sides, keep pushing yourselves, this is the first comic from both of you I have read so I don't really have any specific critiques right now but I'll definitely be keeping an eye on you in the future!

# 7   Posted: Mar 26 2020, 07:33 AM
you both did well with different ways of telling a story

Candy went for a more confrontanionnal comic, making full use of the lore around Arts's characters, making it very wholesome

Arts used good pacing to build up suspence

I give however my edge to Candy who used more lore while Arts only make his adversary appears at the very end.

# 6   Posted: Mar 26 2020, 07:11 AM
Two very good comics! I enjoyed both!

Arts you are getting better and better. I love the colors you did on this one. Only thing is that Redacted looked more like a serpent in some scenes than a dinosaur. I think you just needed to beef him up a bit. But amazing job overall.

Candy - so much quality art  in 3 weeks. I am amazed myself and I love that last panel of Juniper. The brutality and the way she just shrugged it off was just chilling and truly reflected what  I know of Juniper so far.

# 5   Posted: Mar 24 2020, 01:23 PM
These type of comics are the reasons why I really want to get back to battling. Good job both of you.

Candy: I'm definitely a fan of your writing and drawing style. Love how you work with expressions.
It was like 1 AM when I read your comic, so I lost my mind when I saw Redacted pick his nose offscreen, and then next panel he's bleeding.
Am enjoying greatly his character developement, between accepting the pros of being a dino, and the cons of it as well.

Arts: Gosh. Dang.
This was a great comic, I enjoyed reading it a lot. Jun is a fun character, I liked how she nonchalantly gets bitten her shoulder off and she's like Yeah, that happened.
You're improving on your expressions, and your poses no longer look as stiff as they used to. It's always a treat to read your comics. Keep it up!

# 4   Posted: Mar 23 2020, 11:25 PM

You totally nailed how much of a doofus Redacted is. And I approve of memes. Really dig some of the panels here, and the angling like the inside the maw, very dynamic. The concept of visualizing a blood scent is pretty nifty too, I might adopt that idea if you don't mind.

My only crit is the lighting, its relatively the same palette from being inside the club(?) to being out in the streets. If you would've made a more colorized lighting in the club it would've better set the scene being there.

Otherwise awesome comic! Good job you finished despite how many times we were like stressing through it, lmfao. Looking forward to seeing more Juniper action.

Community Manager
# 3   Posted: Mar 23 2020, 01:18 PM
Holy crap your side is amazing I love how you did Junipers abilities with her strings that was fantastic.

Community Manager
# 2   Posted: Mar 22 2020, 09:20 PM
Submitted. For crits I want to know the stuff that worked well in this comic cause I changed up a lot of things in my process so I wanna know which things worked for that.

# 1   Posted: Feb 23 2020, 11:07 AM
Laughs, I'm in danger.

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Mar 30th, 2020
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 1048
Winner: CandycornRhino

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