Manufactured Dream Woman: But Does She Work? / Egg Dealer

Manufactured Dream Woman: But Does She Work? / Egg Dealer

Manufactured Dream Woman: But Does She Work? — Egg Dealer

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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

Critiques & Comments
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# 7   Posted: Oct 27 2019, 12:15 AM
Well that certainly was a trip from beginning to end, lol. I definitely do agree that you're getting better at backgrounds, especially on architecture and exteriors of buildings. The backgrounds on page 3 looked especially good! However, I will echo that the transition between the Egg Dealer and the Doctor was a bit too abrupt; there was no indication of actual transition so at first I wasn't sure if this was a flashback or what. I think something as simple as putting a little text box at the top of page 4 that said "Meanwhile..." would have done wonders. Also, while I do have to commend you for the sheer amount of eggs you fit into the background, in some areas it does slightly detract from being able to tell what's going on--specifically, in the areas with the Dream Woman. She's got so many lines/details that she almost needs a plain background to stand against so she doesn't get lost.
......... Gotta say, though, that's one hell of a cliff hanger. Good job on making me.... morbidly curious as to what the hell that thing even IS on that final page, lol.

Approval Committee
# 6   Posted: Oct 18 2019, 10:43 PM
I love how delightfully insane you go with these. you are unapologetic in the best kind of way and I have so much respect for you willing to consistently commit to stuff that goes so far against the norm. You have also been working to improve and bunch and it shows. your backgrounds have gotten better and also your anatomy, while it's hard to tell on egg dealer, I think the manufactured women and the doctor have better built bodies than characters in your previous comics.

My only crit is while your regular backgrounds show depth I wish the abstract stuff, like the panels on top of page 6 had more sense of depth in them, the lights and whites don't enough variety or feel like they have any kind of form to them. Shine on you crazy diamond as you keep showing us this eggcelent decent.

# 5   Posted: Oct 15 2019, 01:12 PM
This is a continuation of my previous BB entitled: Egg Jelly Jam Paste.

The egg that got turned into a humanoid form is a different egg than the one on the first 3 pages. This egg
we are talking about was once a jar that got willingly eggified, but shortly thereafter got brainwashed by the doctor into thinking there is a
form out there more beautiful than an egg.  You can read all about that here if you like:
Thank you for your comments! :D  Artistically this one was an experiment and slight change in style for me. Writing was difficult for me I kept rewriting it trying to show some plot progression of some sort.

# 4   Posted: Oct 15 2019, 05:31 AM
Boogi, I definitely a lot of improvement in this comic of yours. I am still struggling to understand the transition between Egg Dealer going to the getaway and then all of a sudden the egg was turned into a humanoid character by the mad scientist.. How did she get there? Maybe I am just missing something.

I am curious though where you are going with this and it looks like you're about to  introduce a new character in the Egg Dealer's life. I am a sucker for story development so hopefully you continue to develop this plot :)

# 3   Posted: Oct 13 2019, 05:24 AM
You just keep deepening the descent into the horror that is Egg. I don't know whether to laugh or scream as the nightmare integgsifies. And now the Dealer more and more fancies himself a god as his prisoner meddles in that domain. The use of black and white really sells the horror. This is strongest in places where there is a good balance if pattern and flat area, like page 8 or the last panel on page 9. When the Dream Woman is well framed, she is really strking, but sometimes she or the gags and action her get lost. Similarly the blurring behind Dealer onpage 1 appears to be an effort to keep him from visually drowning, but it just draws attention to itself. He's so massive though that he shouldn't get lost against pattern, like on pg 2.

# 2   Posted: Sep 20 2019, 04:34 PM
cool, I like to see what you got planned next

# 1   Posted: Sep 20 2019, 11:48 AM
I feel like I’ve been taking too long on this, so I set this timer to get me to commit
and get crackalackalin! Because time doesn’t grow on trees, but also class will get harder soon.

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Oct 19th, 2019
Votes Cast: 11
Page Views: 571

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