Egg Jelly Jam Paste / Egg Dealer

Egg Jelly Jam Paste / Egg Dealer

Egg Jelly Jam Paste — Egg Dealer

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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

Critiques & Comments
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Approval Committee
# 15   Posted: Feb 20 2019, 10:47 PM
The thing I like and envy about you the most is how you are able to just not stop and go fully indulgent in what you want and not care what anyone things. I respect that a lot combined with the fact you actually are trying to improve as well, generally the two don't combine but it's good your working on that together.
In terms of crits the main thing I wanna say is work on your word bubbles, depending on the program you use there should be a tool for word bubbles, in particlar you want your bubbles to have consistent tail sizes and to make sure your dialouge has enough space and isn't just clipping against the edges of the bubbles.

# 14   Posted: Feb 20 2019, 08:28 AM
Thanks for all the comments critiques and questions! :)

Yes, most eggs are sentient, but the ones meant to be eaten, the love eggs, aren’t.

I didn’t show this in this comic, but the egg muscles’ main ability is the Regeneregg ability which allows Egg Dealer to instantaneously heal/recover from all damage/wounds. But, yeah if one can somehow disable that ability and beat him up he would be a yolky mess.
What I did here is more inflation than vore.

I’m glad everyone is curious about the egg realm.Makes me happy to hear that.

I’m going to figure out good coloring some day.

And you guys are correct in the assumption that I didn’t plan the whole thing out beforehand.
You see, I had two goals with this: I wanted to explain the new, beautiful design sheet and lay the foundations for a continuing storyline. The farthest I planned was the egg picnic part then I just started drawing and as I drew I got more and more ideas that I just kept stringing together to make this masterpiece :D

Next time I ‘ll try and fix the colors and plan the story better.

Approval Committee
# 13   Posted: Feb 20 2019, 12:42 AM
I have so many questions.

- Is Eggdealer an abusive overlord to the eggs? He proports to love them, but that's all he eats. Based off your comic, the eggs ARE sentient. Do they feel when he cracks them open? Does it hurt when he liquifies their insides to put them into cakes, pop and other foods for him to consume?

- Based off the character sheet, Eggdealers muscles and insides ARE eggs. Is that why his eggs wanna be eaten? to be one with his body? And if I beat him up, will he just be a goopy, cracked shell yolky mess?

- Is this a vore thing? Is this an inflation thing?

I think my comments will echo much of what you've gotten already, but if there's one thing I wish there were more of, it'd be the last 3 pages. The picnic felt so inconsequential, and the true absurdity and trippiness of this egg loving concept only really gets interesting in the egg realm. The visuals, the yolk river, the egg ship and sunny side up ferryman got me leaning into my chair, curious to see where this goes and it kind of goes nowhere.

Astro Sean
Approval Committee
# 12   Posted: Feb 18 2019, 09:48 AM
This story line is like a fever dream. I seriously don't know what to take from any of this. Surely it's incredibly creative, but I am just utterly lost as I was reading through it. You have an interesting character to say the least, but I have a strong feeling you didn't map out the story before diving right into drawing. Your art is improving with each comic, but you need to really buckle down and practice the basics of anatomy, perspective, and expressions. Might I also suggest toning down the colors here. The vibrant neon feel of this was blinding and took a lot away from this rollercoaster of emotional chaos. You really gave us a hell of a show. I almost feel motion sickness, or maybe I am high from this comic?

# 11   Posted: Feb 18 2019, 01:31 AM
Passion. Love. Hate. Disgust. Beauty. Desire. Every single deadly sin. This comic is a cocktail of emotions and concepts so dense that traversing it is impossible. At one moment i am disgusted, the next elated, the next disturbed, the next exhausted. Certain panels of this comic rocketed me into a disassociate state.

As a reader, i began this comic blissfully ignorant - floating upon a cloud of ration and logic, certain that the world operated upon my tangential terms. When i was informed - nay, punished - with the knowledge that Eggs with Butts not only exist but generate cornucopias of egg based foods and liquids for the egg dealer, my cloud evaporated - and i plummeted into the eldritch unknown. In many ways, this comic is an analogue for the extradimensional geometries that unfortunate explorers encountered in Lovecraft novels - my feeble human mind tried to fill in the gaps between the eggs but soon it was nothing but eggs eggs EGGS EGGS EGG EGG

I feel unworthy to give criticism to this piece because it is both above and below criticism. It is a monumentous artistic statement, and also proof that humanity is bound for hell.  Eggs are the only truth.

God have mercy on my soul.

Global Moderator
# 10   Posted: Feb 17 2019, 09:39 PM
I'm gonna be real. I first read this story drunk as Hell and I refuse to read it again sober. Theres no way this story is going to make any more sense sober.

Kevin Birtcher
# 9   Posted: Feb 17 2019, 01:05 PM
Like others, I hardly know what to make of this.  It's interesting, but not a complete story.  There's a beginning and a middle of one story, with the Egg Dealer having a picnic, and then a new beginning and middle focusing on the jar, sort of an ending to the picnic, and then another beginning with in the Egg Realm.  You indicate in the comments this will be continued, but there's no hint of that in the comic itself.  If you're not plotting comics before you start drawing, you should be.  If you are, then I suggest finding someone to read the outline first.

I get the feeling you're using style to gloss over short-comings in perspective and anatomy, but it's possible to still do an exaggerated style with an underpinning in consistency.  For instance, Egg Dealer's head shape is constantly changing, with Panel 4 of Page 5 being the worst, in my opinion.

Also, I hadn't noticed the egg character until midway through when they suddenly become the focus, even though the egg has been there from the beginning and has a line of dialogue.  An early establishing shot would go a long way to eliminating that issue.

Think Tank
# 8   Posted: Feb 17 2019, 08:14 AM
Egg Dealer is such a divisive character.  You either love him or hate him.  Or love to hate him.  Or hate to love him?

I've seen things online that are more disturbing than this.  This is a gonzo strip in spades, and I can't not give BoogidiBzdo credit for making one.

But the smell of eggs will be permeating in my mind for a while now.

# 7   Posted: Feb 17 2019, 12:23 AM
i feel like egg dealer was the one character that was missing all along on Void. The perfect blend of Crazy, fabulous, and hilarious

# 6   Posted: Feb 16 2019, 10:18 PM
I’m planning on continuing this in another beyond battle sometime later on.

# 5   Posted: Feb 15 2019, 06:48 PM
I rarely do a critique since I have nothing to say, but I can say stuff here. Just a few bits. Here it goes!

Ya doin' well with the coloring, and the colors looking less eye-strainy >w> but oh my. As he becomes, well... shall we say, "big"? I have nothing else to say anymore. Strange, but still nice on the pacing, as the others said.

Still wondering about that tehre Egg Realm of Consciousness. Cuz I'm curious on how Egg Dealer will do next!

# 4   Posted: Feb 15 2019, 05:54 PM
I have no idea how I feel about this.  Words can't describe it, and I can't decide what to think about this.

I've seen a lot of the most bizarre things I could only witness first hand, and this is among them.  No no, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with this sort of humor, I'm just having difficulty processing my thoughts about the story.

That outta the way, your pacing's getting better and everything's flowing more nicely.  Though, I would like to know exactly what the doctor plans to do with the egg-ified jar (or is that something we're supposed to find out later?)

# 3   Posted: Feb 15 2019, 02:50 AM
Nobody makes me giggle like Egg Dealer. I would have rated the entertainment a little higher if the ending didn’t seem so abrupt. A line at the end about what the Doctor plans to do next would have been a nice bow on this. As it is, this feels more like a commercial break than the end of an episode.

I did look at your new design sheet, it is better than ever before, and the egg muscles cutaway made me verbally uncomfortable.

Think Tank
# 2   Posted: Feb 15 2019, 12:37 AM
It... Takes a lot to make me uncomfortable, and to rattle me. I've watched scenes of graphic torture, and etcetera many times. People have told me of the darkest most messed up void comics, telling me not to read them, and usually those didnt get to me much either.

Im not actually sure if this is your intention, but this comic was able to grip me in a way i couldnt process, i feel kind of nauseous after reading it, but it a lot  stems from the impact of how you made this. I'm feeling so many different feelings and... All ill say is good job on making a comic that could cause such a reaction within the viewer's reading experience. I dont know if i can handle reading this again, to try processing it better in order to critique, but...


# 1   Posted: Feb 14 2019, 12:15 AM
I worked hard on this and tried a lot of things.
Everyone should look at my new design sheet, it's better than ever before!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Feb 21st, 2019
Votes Cast: 25
Page Views: 1750

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