Invitational Tournament 2019: Round 1 / Hajire Cloud and Beam vs. Aiden

Invitational Tournament 2019: Round 1 — Hajire Cloud and Beam vs. Aiden

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

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Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: No critique desired, comments encouraged
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by Swan

This comic has not been rated; viewer discretion advised.

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Critiques & Comments
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Kozispoon
Artist
1211 comments
# 10   Posted: Jun 17 2019, 04:44 PM
 BROBIN_DRAGON- This has some great action! Super excellent use of sound effects on page 9 with the FWOOM dragon flame. That is super killer! I think my only nitpick is that I wish your characters were dodging and weaving in a more dynamic way. Don't be afraid to obscure even a little of the lettering if it helps the action!

What a great first battle- congrats!

SWAN- Better luck next time!

Flutterbyes
Artist
299 comments
# 9   Posted: Jun 17 2019, 03:26 PM
B_D: Those are some nice, clear drawings that showed up well even in a lowish contrast photo. Your characters are appealing and your lettering and sound effects are bold and well integrated.  The artifacts do distract a little. If you can get your photography set up so you can take a much higher quality shot (or find a scanner), and touch up the levels a little (straighten it out, crop out the extra bits) in the future that'd be great.

Swan: Better luck next time! Drawing comics is pretty demanding even in the best IRL situations.

Hellis
Artist
286 comments
# 8   Posted: Jun 15 2019, 12:10 PM
Swan: Don't sweat it. One weekers are the worst to get done even on a perfect scheadule, it leaves you extremely vournable to any kind of irl issues. I am sure you will have fantastic comics in the future!

Brobin: I really, really like your layout. And I really wanna fight you in the future! This is impressive stuff for a week. I am curious what you can do with a smaller comic, I'd love to see these layouts get the polished content to make them shine.  

ArtsandGoodies
Artist
566 comments
# 7   Posted: Jun 11 2019, 08:40 PM
Swan: I wish you best with everything and look forward to collabing with you once things get less hectic for you.


Brobin: holy crap those layouts are amazing, even the most simple layout page page 7 has the middle panel where you split it up with beam on the outside of the bar. A quick thing you should do next time is crop the pages so the thing it's laying on isn't visible or if you can scan your pictures but even if you can't most phones should allow you to edit the photo to crop that out. I also really like the dialogue in this since all the characters feel unique in their dialogue. I wanna see more comics form you and more of your awesome layouts.

Brobin_Dragon
Artist
48 comments
# 6   Posted: Jun 11 2019, 07:52 PM
papermachei: Alright let's go;

@ Swan, literally don't beat yourself up over this at all. Life happens and it's out of everyone's control. I look forward to seeing what you make in the future though, and I'm totally down to fight sometime after this tournament whenever things clear up for you!

@ BRobin_Dragon, let me tell ya'. Good perspectives, a lot of backgrounds, all things that are an aid to reading this comic. I like the all-out brawl too, but let me tell you, if I have a thing that immediately made me react and react audibly, it was for sure your onomatopoeia, seriously. The use of the "FWOOM" and "CRACK" sound effects were just so much fun. Also it was really cool to see you include other contestants in the comic too, it helps solidify the world as feeling "alive". Looking forward to what you'll go on to do in round 2!
Quote

Thanks dude! I had a lot of fun with 'em- I might have to make a slapstick in the future just so I can use more effects haha. I'm glad to hear it had an affect on you! :D:D

papermachei
Artist
9 comments
# 5   Posted: Jun 11 2019, 02:05 PM
Alright let's go;

@ Swan, literally don't beat yourself up over this at all. Life happens and it's out of everyone's control. I look forward to seeing what you make in the future though, and I'm totally down to fight sometime after this tournament whenever things clear up for you!

@ BRobin_Dragon, let me tell ya'. Good perspectives, a lot of backgrounds, all things that are an aid to reading this comic. I like the all-out brawl too, but let me tell you, if I have a thing that immediately made me react and react audibly, it was for sure your onomatopoeia, seriously. The use of the "FWOOM" and "CRACK" sound effects were just so much fun. Also it was really cool to see you include other contestants in the comic too, it helps solidify the world as feeling "alive". Looking forward to what you'll go on to do in round 2!

Brobin_Dragon
Artist
48 comments
# 4   Posted: Jun 11 2019, 12:58 PM
SO since I forgot to tidy up the "credit page" until it was too late:

Lil Lost Spiky haired boi: Kyou Fuuga by Mokachahan
Mantis Barkeep: Count Burmeister by TheFrigginPizzaMan
"TotallyNotPlottingInABar": Buck Xander by Dejitaruu
Them Skull Boyz: Craven and Uncle Dario by Cabtoonist

And, to Aiden's owner Swan: Feel free to VOID-challenge me in the future! We can settle the score properly then :) No worries,  and thanks again for the head's up in advance.

So, as a self critique for later:
1. Even if you think you have time, don't do something lthis big/complex again until I have more time and comics under my belt.(this is literally the first one ever)
2. Have more panels, and less wide-view shots.
3.Make everything less.... "empty" feeling. The environment still feels empty.
4. Work on your "BG characters" details-over-distance, or resort to chibi-ish forms if that's easier.
5.Work on character consistency, and for that matter, stop including things over and over again if you're not good at drawing them. (coughhumanscoughhandscoughantlerweapon)
6.Plan enough time ahead so that you can scan and edit the shots before uploading. Just time management in general so that the end product looks nicer through the camera.
7. and also to apply shading again after erasing it during inking

Proud of:
Actually doing this! Including human characters! Getting the "Opponent Character" in lots of shots, and incorporating their backstory! Dynamic shots(at least for me)! Trying new challenging things!

Swan
Artist
1 comment
# 3   Posted: Jun 10 2019, 08:52 AM
Hello to anyone who may be reading. As timing would have it, I've had a very stressful and scary week consisting of problems entirely out of my control, leaving me no time to work on my half of the battle. I'm incredibly sorry to have joined into the tournament and not contributed in anyway, and my apologies to anyone I may have let down. Once things in my life have calmed down, I'll certainly try my best to support everyone else in the invitationals and I'll be adamant in offering as much as I can to this incredible website. I really hope I can make up for the chance I've lost here. I wish the best of luck to my opponent, to anyone who is participating/has participated in the invitationals, and everyone involved in this community.

Thank you for anyone's understanding,

Brobin_Dragon
Artist
48 comments
# 2   Posted: Jun 3 2019, 11:32 AM
He better keep a good grip on that flower

Reecer6
Artist
365 comments
# 1   Posted: Jun 3 2019, 10:24 AM
son i gotta tell you about the bird and the bee

Comic Details -

 
Regular Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Jun 17th, 2019
Votes Cast: 34
Page Views: 1790
Winner: Brobin_Dragon
 

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