Rumble Roulette / Dimitri Landers vs. Gwen & Regi

Rumble Roulette / Dimitri Landers vs. Gwen & Regi

Rumble Roulette — Dimitri Landers vs. Gwen & Regi

315 points
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Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: David Birch, dimitri landers, gwen & regi, kyou fuuga, sugar sweet

by Gregly

340 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 13   Posted: Jun 22 2020, 02:06 AM
Ober: I liked the setup for this story, and I really liked all the backgrounds you did! They felt like just enough to keep it interesting without being cluttered. I also liked the fun little Undertale reference you put in there, hehe. I know others have said the pacing felt off but honestly I disagree--I think the easy defeat of Dimitri kind of felt like it fit with Gwen's narrative of not feeling useful enough; she gets to defeat the bad guy but it comes almost too easy and probably isn't overly satisfying for her! It also fit with Dimitri having been out of commission for so long; it feels like it's setting up that he's got a long way to go before he can reach his previous levels of power. Also I enjoyed the joke of Dimitri just toppling over backwards, lol.  

I think my main suggestion to you would be to work on proportions for Dimitri; his head often feels way too big for his body (in some panels it's almost bigger than his entire torso). I'm not sure if that's intentional or not--if so, ignore this, haha. If not, though, I'd recommend maybe looking at anthro characters in media to get an idea of how to keep the elongated goat head without making him almost come off as a bobblehead in some places. I think it might also help if you elongated his neck just slightly; there's quite a few panels where it looks like he has no neck at all (most notably the final panel of page 8, where it looks like his arm is attached directly to his jawbone). Other than that, though, I very much enjoy Dimitri's design--it conveys that quintessential malevolent mad scientist, while also maintaining its own uniqueness. He's a familiar character that still feels fresh!

Gregly: I love the colors you used, and all the expressions (especially on Dimitri, lol. Faces with muzzles aren't always the easiest to put expressions on but you did a really good job!) I also didn't really feel like the pacing was off in yours either, but that might be just me, idk? I've been kinda following Gwen and Regi's story lately, and to me while I do think as the others have said the constant sidelining of Gwen by Regi is starting to get old, I feel like this is a really good setup for a turning point; this could either be the point where Regi has his realization and decides to reconcile with Gwen and admit he hasn't been giving her credit where it's due, or else this could be the point just before the "rock bottom" of these two's stories, where they're at their lowest point and the only way to go is up (hopefully by reconciling, but not requiring it!)

My only real nitpicky thing would be, I think in that big middle panel of page 1, you could've used a different tone to color Regi to make him stand out from the BG more. I didn't even see him at first!

# 12   Posted: Jun 21 2020, 05:56 PM
Obergoat: Angry Gwen is a mood. That was a nice way to use showcasing your opponents to introduce your character (who came off as kind of minor. I still don't really feel like I know much about him from this). I love how dynamically you drew Gwen and Regi in this. I love when villainous gloating meets recognition. I wonder if the final panels could have been done a little differently to really play up the "horror movie stinger" element.

Gregly: I like those stand-off compositions, along with those panels where it really looks like you're having a blast drawing Dimitri going full supervillain. I also loved that Dimitri would laugh manically while losing a battle over his opponent's relationship problems. Because it seems to have broken them up, I'm not sure if the visual storytelling Gwen saves Regi is as strong as it could be. If it were more climactic looking, then the ending would feel less like it cuts off, I think.

# 11   Posted: Jun 21 2020, 05:09 PM
To OverGoat(open to comments/critiques):
-I really like the opening panel's texturing on the sign, and the funny notes in the char. descriptions on why they're up so 'freaking' early haha
-The panel of Gwen dropping through the trap door is really good
-I like the idea that, over the years, the city decided to repurpose the land above Dimitri's lair :slight_smile: A good ode to the passage of time before his reveal.
-Gwen's attitude change upon finding the lab, and then the teleporter, is very amusing and I *think* it's not out of character considering how she wants to be useful. Same thing for how Dimitri just falls over and is annoyed after the teleporter is back online.

-I think a bit of anatomy practice would help a bit, mainly for the ear and where it's placed on the head. I just found they looked a bit off and distracting on the first page.
-Perspective practice (for the park scene) would probably also be useful, concerning the wooden plank and the cardboard box
-Just adding colours/greyscale to a few characters seemed a bit off. I feel like trying to do something for every character, just the main characters, or not at all would've been a better choice. A similar issue with having the really thick lines on the characters, but super thin lines for all the backgrounds.


To Gregly(no preference):
-Ooo, the dynamic between the two is nice
-In the establishing shots, you seem to have a good grasp on perspective with the characters in place :)
-I like the near-cartoony art style you have going on here, and outlining Regi's shoulder on page 3 was a good touch
-The expressions on all the characters are very expressive(lol) and good

-I think some anatomy practice would also help you too, as page 3 has Dimitri looking a little funky in the limbs. I suggest looking up how to draw forced perspective, or taking pictures as reference, and then "cartoonifying" the base shapes to work in your style?
-I see what people mean about the pacing being a little fast, but it still flows okay I think. I like how you have Regi just stand in silence, contemplating his existence at the end haha. It gives some space for the reader to breath, and with Regi, also contemplate his actions towards Gwen

# 10   Posted: Jun 19 2020, 09:22 PM
Dimitri sure isn't catching any breaks, while Gwen and Regi are breaking up. What a great job from you both!

# 9   Posted: Jun 19 2020, 09:39 AM
Great lighthearted wholesome fun with both comics. I found myself smiling while I read both.  I admit I am not that familiar with the history of Gwen and Regi so I really can't say anything about their dynamic here but all I can tell is that Regi is concerned about Gwen's well-being for the most part but it looks like Gwen is at her wits end about being in the sideline. Love the tension.

I said this before, Dmitri is such a fun over the top cartoon-type villain. A refreshing change of pace  among  the  serious, mustache twirling ones we  normally get in Void (which I equally like as well!)
I enjoyed both comics from both sides. Very entertaining!

# 8   Posted: Jun 15 2020, 03:50 PM
OberGoat: I cut out a bunch of panels, and even a couple pages from my thumbs. I almost wonder if I should have left them in to help the pacing along?

For the purposes of this website, if you have the whole thing thumbed or sketched out it's usually better to leave unfinished segments in. You'll take a bit to quality scores but then we still get to see the story going on. That's been my experience, anyways.

# 7   Posted: Jun 15 2020, 10:07 AM
Gregly - I really enjoy the story you're telling with Gwen and Regi, even if it also made me sad, haha. The colors are a really nice addition. Though, I agree with what others have said about the plot and characterization of Dimitri.

OberGoat - I agree with what's been said. That aside, I liked your story and look forward to what will happen to Dimitri in the future. He has a fun personality (if a bit eccentric!).

# 6   Posted: Jun 15 2020, 02:49 AM
Gregly- I really enjoyed your comic! Dimitri looks great in your style and you captured his personality perfectly, and you did a way better job with the banter between him and Margaret than I did! I just loved everything about it!

As for everyone else, I'm glad you all enjoyed it, and I totally understand your crits on the pacing, I was able to get a lot of work done at the begining and then work and such got in the way and the last few pages, basically from the moment Dimitri shows up to the end got kinda rushed, I cut out a bunch of panels, and even a couple pages from my thumbs. I almost wonder if I should have left them in to help the pacing along? Oh well, I'm glad people seem to like Dimitri! I have big plans for him!

Community Manager
# 5   Posted: Jun 14 2020, 10:45 PM
Ober: I'm really enjoying Lander's personality as well as the story for this. I do like that you're working on your backgrounds trying to implement more so keep working on them and try doing some studies of scenes and break them down. I don't really have any other crits so just keep on going with these comics.

Gregly: Landers looks really good in your style and I love your coloring for this comic. However I didn't like the story in this, it was pretty standard and landers could have been replaced with most any villian. However the bigger issue is that Regi is being a huge dick. Ever since Gwen lost her magic he hasn't respected her at all, I understand him being cautious but he's been like this for enough comics that it feels a bit too much. It comes off like He only thought of Gwen as just some witch and all she was good for is magic. I had to look back in the archives to see if that was the case and in the wacky races he trusted her with skills not related to her magic. I feel like since he was able to trust her non magic skills before he wouldn't be as disparaging as he currently is since it makes it feel melodramatic. since the emotions are peaking soon i do hope to see a resolution to their issues.

# 4   Posted: Jun 14 2020, 10:38 PM
Ober -  I really like the setup for this. It makes sense that Dimitri’s ship would have been covered with grass in the decades he was trapped inside. The pacing however felt somewhat off? The buildup before Dimitri even appears takes up more than half the comic, and then he’s defeated in a really anticlimactic and abrupt way.

Gregly - I like the palette you use here. Like on that first page? It’s interesting and a little unexpected, I think, to see the villain in cool colours against a warm-coloured environment. Definitely feels like a bit of a missed opportunity here though. Ober did a really nice setup for Rumble and you just kind of ignored it to write a monster of the week story. Obviously, I know you didn’t have to follow the setup, but yeah it did feel odd to me that Dimitri is suddenly just free again. I agree with SirJellyRaptor in that he felt replaceable and didn’t have much personality. I also felt Gwen’s reaction was a bit strange, crying instantly at being told to wait in safety.

# 3   Posted: Jun 14 2020, 09:21 AM
Ohh some matching narratives.

Gregly: this one is short and sweet but gets right where it needs to. We have some great development between Gwen and Regi that I'm looking forward seeing play the future, but unfortunately Dr. Landers becomes more of a prop than anything. He could be swapped with a number of other characters or monsters and the story would come out about the same.

Goat: Again we have a nice dynamic between Gwen and Regi, a bit more to the point about Gwen's sidelining and there's a bit of tension in their interactions, which feels appropriate.

I like the amount of personality Landers has here but once he shows up the pacing starts to feel a bit off to me. A lot of things happen in sequence and paradoxically, to me, it doesn't feel like anything really happened, if that makes sense.

Global Moderator
# 2   Posted: May 24 2020, 10:56 AM
I am REALLY hype for this one!

# 1   Posted: May 23 2020, 07:32 PM
Hohoho! This is going to be fun!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Jun 21st, 2020
Votes Cast: 17
Page Views: 280
Winner: Gregly

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