The Suite Life / The Four Horsemen vs. Mona & Lisa

The Suite Life — The Four Horsemen vs. Mona & Lisa

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Pocketmouse
Think Tank
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92 comments
# 13   Posted: May 6 2018, 07:50 AM
"Tens, tens, tens! Tens across the board!" - The panel on page 3 with the ring is especially brilliant - a stroke of genius ;)

Real tho here's a couple of pointers/nitpicks:
- Diana and Joy look similar, if they're not related maybe find a strong way to separate their appearance.
- If you slightly blur screen tone dots they'll look less sharp alongside the rest of the textural hatching etc (which is en pointe bt-wae!)
- Page 12 the shoulders look less elegant than the rest of Joys' form throughout, see my final point heeheh and on page 04 the final panel the tangent o no!
- Page 13 is especially powerful - great job!
- And then ofc finally my obligatory: 'if you make it shorter you'll have more time to polish' tripe haha ;) I'd love to see you strip down a story to really pay attention to the minor nitpicks and not have to rush at all.

The twist is shamalamadingdong/10 Good job!

Happy December 15th! -Reecer6
Artist
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224 comments
# 12   Posted: May 4 2018, 09:33 AM
Gosh, this is a real excellent comic, Sabu! I don't have much to say other than every element is more than solid here. I really didn't know how much lore you were hiding in these four so this is a bit of a pleasant shock. I'm super looking forward to seeing how they're developed, because I'm already very very very interested!!

Evi
Artist
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110 comments
# 11   Posted: May 3 2018, 08:34 PM
YOoo Sabu! I heard you were suffering to finish this battle due to irl and I'd have to say IT WAS WORTH IT. I loved how you used the hotel setting as a surreal story reveal, intriguing twist at the end, too!
You did say the your last page was the weakest and I think it shows. Would have loved to see more impact with that last line of dialogue  if you added a zoomed out shot for a more dramatic effect to conclude it with, maybe even have Fran standing there all alone with the frozen expression to double confirm what was happening. Other than that I have no real complaints and really enjoyed reading this, great job!

Camel
Artist
icon
62 comments
# 10   Posted: May 3 2018, 03:43 PM
Sabu, this was pretty damn spectacular. The art is, like previous horsemen comics, is really clean, consistent, and the black and white balance is perf. I especially love on page 13 when you invert the blacks and whites. The story is a well pitched blend of show and tell - this backstory has just made these characters that much more interesting. People can rag on "tragic backstories" all day but there's a reason why they keep croppin' up - when done well, they are really interesting. Personally, I've always been critical on people having a disproportionate balance towards their own characters story in a battle, but i think the entire haunted hotel as a framing device was a really good way to blend your characters and GPS'.

Shen
Global Moderator
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1240 comments
# 9   Posted: May 3 2018, 12:52 PM
daaaaamn sabu that was intense! I love how much i just learned about all of the horsemen, i didnt know it was all so tragic, i just wanted to hug them! Incredible revelations! Gorgeous art, I love all the great spotblacks and intense emotions, i felt bad for poor Fran having to suffer all this again. My biggest crit would be the last page. First of all, Im kinda confused by that pipe thing on the first panel. it takes up a lot of space and draws a lot of attention and its sort of confusing ans awkward. but mostly i would have liked to see it shown a little more clearly whether or not Fran was still INSIDE the hotel, or outside, because that would have helped me understand a bit better what to feel when Joy appeared again.

Hellis
Artist
icon
168 comments
# 8   Posted: May 3 2018, 11:03 AM
Sabu:
Exellent art. A few spots that felt slightly less polished and the one with the dead people in particular. But with the number of pages you've made, I don't mind it.  

STORYTELLING ON FUCKING POINT. From the start to the reveal, I really loved this. I want more of this.

      Edited May 3 2018,  11:04 AM by Hellis

yarnwitch
Think Tank
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233 comments
# 7   Posted: May 2 2018, 02:50 PM
Dang Sabu that just. got me. All of it. Was very good, and perfectly in the genre i prefer and its just amazing and good and i have nothing bad to say about it at all.
Please do more like this!

Sabulive
Artist
icon
131 comments
# 6   Posted: May 1 2018, 05:49 PM
And submitted! One page is really rushed bc the deadline hits when I’m at work, but otherwise I’m p happy with what I have aaaa

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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940 comments
# 5   Posted: Apr 10 2018, 11:41 AM
So jazzed to see Mona Lisa and their spoopy shenanigans back on the comics listing. G'luck!

Sabulive
Artist
icon
131 comments
# 4   Posted: Apr 4 2018, 11:49 PM
Have a good April 5th! -Reecer6: NO ASSASSINATION IN THE LOBBY!!!
Quote

The only thing dying here is my hand to beat Geeps at his ink game.

Happy December 15th! -Reecer6
Artist
icon
224 comments
# 3   Posted: Apr 4 2018, 03:48 AM
NO ASSASSINATION IN THE LOBBY!!!

Shen
Global Moderator
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1240 comments
# 2   Posted: Apr 4 2018, 03:43 AM
AYYYYY MAKE IT SPOOKY

GPS-Device
Artist
icon
124 comments
# 1   Posted: Apr 4 2018, 03:33 AM
Who’s ready for more BACKGROUNDS

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: May 8th, 2018
Votes Cast: 18
Page Views: 411
Winner: Sabulive

 

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