Congratulations Pocky Knew you could bring it!

Tinman, those are some damn big words and phrases you got there. I'll just assume it was a great critique overall for all of us
I'm gonna look through my stash of photoshop brushes and see if I have a more solid version of what I used for this piece, or design my own similar brush.

Hats-  Obviously I love the tone you’ve set with your stiples and hatches- its perfectly evocative of the post apoc haze and resonates with somber reflection. The introspective narrative of Wizkid is sympathetic and well penned. The tight camera work emphasizes the value of the morsels and cigarettes that ensure their survival. The Old Man Logan conception of the immortal type having survivors guilt is well conceived indeed and played with appeal alongside this motley cast. I truly wish you’d not met with technical difficulties and had been able to see it through as you had some of your usual strong story telling here equipped with some nice new techniques that impress. Better luck next time.

Pocky- Goodness gracious girl, you absolutely killed it. From well framed layouts, sympathetic expressions, well spotted inks and tight lettering. Some odd pacing in your page layouts but mostly they succeed. Your greytones get a bit sloppy but for the most part they contribute to the trashed aesthetic we so desire to find in just such an apocalypse. The mental faculties of Flo are nicely captured as childish skribs- brilliant effect. Some of the backgrounds and anatomy are hastily accomplished and in need of refinement rather than masking in tonal haze.

Storyline wise I was pleased as punch to find you delved into complex characterizations, difficult issues and themes of innocence loss and bygone lives. The morality play juxtaposed against the desperation in moments of reminisce over not shying from appetites, either provisional nor sexual in nature. There are verbose info dump bits but I absolutely devoured them, as they shifted Void city far into a darker bent, worth losing time in. A definite sadness took me at the leap that all our beloved characters had not survived the fallout- definitely touching story of friendships which always seem to make the best stories in the end anyway. I look forward to future tales.

Wolchik- Rad paneling, linework and cinematic framing as always, I think some of your anatomy suffers but you’ve got such a detailed style- focus on economy because your action is explosive but seems to warp your characters a bit- still you rawked the zigzag flow of motion reading the page on page 4 that most people take for granted or are oblivious to. Storywise I like where you were headed but obviously you suffered timewise- hustle it up.

Felle- Damn how much do I owe you- this is pro work for sure. You started off so strong- I wonder if time wouldn’t be better invested leveling up all your pages in stages to assure you tell the whole tale, or compressed the story more tightly- this is like animation quality, I’m just left wanting the whole tale. Your camera always feels too tight to me, but I can’t really complain about your economy there because the effects are so dope and you covered alot of ground. Its just a very decompressed pacing and style. Action is beautifully rendered and Doc Rhino is truly menacing- its interesting to consider how minimal Phaze is in all these comics- including your own which is a shame. Still I admire your respect for your opponents characters.

Great work altogether my friends, thank you for you dark visions and labor on our behalf!

Hats               -

               I don't really like the visual snow (hurr hurr) you put on alot of your shadows. It looks kinda digital and cheap. One of the ways I often try to keep that stuff looking a little more organic and polished is adding my own specks in later by hand, and using mutiple tools to make specks.

   Besides that, I don't really think it's fair to critique much else, just cause this is so unfinished and who knows how amazing it could've been. I still do love some of your linework and stylistic choices though, like the simple fluffiness of Wizzie's collar.


Pineapple Pocky            -

             Awesome pages yo, I'll cover the stuff you wanted feedback on before I bring up stuff I wanna say.

                               1: Composition: It seems like you're really asking about layout and stuff here. You're really trying to do some crazy in stuff here, but I feel like you get away from the subject matter in the panels a little too much. At it's heart, panel layout and size/shape/stuff is all about trying to suggest the importance, relationship and pacing of events. The story and art feel like a quiet, slow narrative, but the panels suggest a way faster pacing. You have alot of panels on most pages, and they're all angled and split, suggesting a rapid succession of events. I would've liked to have seen more static panel layouts to compliment the sedate story.

 Also a few more large panels would've been nice, I feel like a few events could've been blown up a litle bit for emphasis, like Florence getting hit with the table, which was small enough to feel unclear the first time I saw it.

            I do really like some of the storytelling tricks you're using with your layouts though, like the slow zoom on the 1st page, the camera panning down florence in the middle of page 3, and your use of isolated larger gutters to suggest large time gaps, usually scene transitions.

          The bubbles are readable, but they totally don't mesh with the art in the comic. The outline should be a little more heavy and stylish, the linework of the outline needs to be bolder and more confident to stick out and fit with the linework of the comic.

                               2: Shading:    I love love love love the style and texture of your rendering in this comic. It's fucking gorgeous dude. That first shot of Florence in the storm, his cloak flaring out in the wind, was so beautiful it caught my breath. I think what you really need to watch out for is the composition of your rendering, and how the overall page looks. Too often you go through your whole value range all over the page. You need to be a little more judicious with your use of light points in an overall dark area, or dark points in an overall light area. If you work all over the page with large general shapes of light and dark, and then slowly work in the details of form, it can be alot easier to keep the composition of your light strong. You can also try adding simple values to your tiny thumbnails, to get an idea of the shapes you want to create.

                               3: Backgrounds: I think you could've used waaaaaaay more backrounds. Your characters sorta exist in a textured void most of the time, even though most of the comic takes place indoors. Like the establishing shot for the first conversation with Dr. Rhino is super tiny, and then that's like the last glimpse of any background we get for that scene. I still have no idea what that room look like. So it's hard for me to comment and critique something your not really pushing at all.

                            Without a doubt, your most lovely backgrounds are the few exteriors we get to see. The areas of small articulation amongst swathes of white look lovely. The bottom of page 3 was super nice.

                  Hahaha actually I think I said enough, don't wanna write your eyes out of your head with  all my stupid stuff. I did seriously love your comic dude, it was one of my favourites of the MoD comics. I think you did a great job of creating visuals that perfectly suit your comic's story.


Wolcik            -

                Your pencils are just amazing dude. Awesome, dynamic characters, and a great solid sense of form. Everything else, line quality, backgrounds, story etc etc is p rough, but you just ran out of time, so I can't really harp on those things. Still, your roughs are looking way more professional dude!


Fel                -

              Your linework is so crisp and amazing, I think it's a real shame you lay this white fog inbetween the reader and the action. You also don't treat the snow/rain as a real thing very often, which is why LeFred said it read to him more as a texture than a thing. It doesn't gather or strike anything in the world, and it's unaffected by the the motion of the air and wind. You also don't increase the opacity or heaviness of the snow/rain based on distance from the viewer, and how much snow/rain would between them and the subject matter. Atmospheric perspective should be way more intense with this weather.

             Also, like pocky your lack of backgrounds are hidden by a multitude of texture and lighting effects. I think a cool fight scene is all about a great setting, but that might just be because I'm really into kung fu movies. Without context, which is really what backgrounds are, I think that sorta action loses it's punch and clarity.

          Your story wasn't much more than an excuse to have peeps punching eachother in the face, but that's really all you were trying for. As always, I love your clean art dude, and your amazing action, and some of those face shots were just killer.


GREAT WORK EVERYONE!

Congrats on making it to the Finish Line y'all!!!

HATS:
-As usual, your style is so cool!
-I wish I could read more of your take on the Snowpocalypse!

POCKY:
-Sometimes I find the shading texture a too muddy--An example of your shading at its best is Page 6. Well defined shapes and it doesn't interfere with the line shapes. An example of where I had trouble with it was Page 5--oh and the top-middle panel on Page 4. I think I know what she's doing but a reader shouldn't have to guess.
-Facial anatomy is a bit inconsistent as Fred said, but you have some good facial expressions here! Page 7 is a standout of a really good emotional moment. (Also nice Xia shirt!)
-Overall a nice emotional story. Looking forward to more Florence tales!

WOLCIK:
-BEAUTIFUL lines, Wolcik! If it was just more polished looking, you'd win just on the strength of your lineart.
-I appreciate where you try different perspectives. It doesn't always work--the 2nd panel of Page 5 is a bit awkward for example-- but then in the very next page I like how you used the change in perspective to help the scene composition with Rhino and Phaze.
-Certainly not the most complete entry but definitely not a wasted comic--you're improvement is evident with each comic. I'm eager to see what else you have in store!

FEL:
-First off--lovely design work, reminiscent of Ale Garza or the comic "The Red Star".
-Cool take on the other characters. Giving Wizzie "Kirby crackle" is genius!
-I frequently felt like I was watching an anime, especially pages 4,5, and 8. That's both good and bad--like good anime your style is very clean and the scope of your battles is nice and cinematic. However, like some bad anime the action doesn't always flow too well. The scene where Florence hits the truck seemed a bit choppy for example.
-A shame you didn't get to finish it! Really an outstanding effort here, so I hope you have more Phaze comics soon. It was great seeing him in action again.

Hats: You know. We Know. No hearts are left unbroken, but whatchugonnado.

Pocky: Good show! I do like the textures and whatnot, very expressive and moody. What you need to look out for is keeping the structure of faces, it gets a bit awkward sometimes, like they'll open their mouth but the mouth is too low (ex: p5, pnl 1, wizzie, similar things happen a couple more times) and the eyes tend to wander the surface of the face a bit too. The first bit with Florence bringing back corpses is really good and sad, the next emotional moments I found not quite as effective. For one, if you want us to feel his pain, maybe not have the <what the foxgirl say> t-shirt so obvious? And just before that, if you want to show Wizzie having a weird moment, you need to take the time to develop it and have her emotion creep in, but right now it's one big block of text and one panel she seems fine, the next she's giggling creepily... The next moment where she talks to the ghosts is just too short, and I get that there wasn't much time, but that doesn't mean to cram everything you can in there, it means choose the ones that you really need and make THOSE really work, but the main problem with your comic is that we get a series of emotional moments with no time to either get to them or develop them once there. The song too, I'm already not a fan of inserting a song like that in a comic, because, well, can't hear it, but that one really needs more space to work, since it's a slow song, that everyone who's seen a movie made in the last 10 years has heard, that really needs to be spread out for it's effect to work. Anyway, despite that stuff, I'm still happy with what you've made, the way you tried to tackle this challenge is really good, and I think you've got the best comic of this bunch, certainly the most interesting. Good job yo.

Brocik: I do wish you could've had the time to get it all cleaned up and stuff, but it still looks good enough and readable. Don't got much to say, it's and ALRIGHT comic, we both know you can do better, and I understand why you might have not.

Fel: The snow/rain is very equal, it quickly starts to register more as a texture than actual snowfall. You obviously know how to fucking draw, so I'm not going to comment on that more except to say I really like that chin on p2. Your cinematography makes everything seem to come a bit out of nowhere, it doesn't super connect and your fight doesn't have any choreography to speak of, except towards the end. Things just appear to punch you or pose for the camera in a fogy nowhere. Lots of closeups, not enough buildup, and of course, never enough time, right? There's a nice intro with whomever that Randall is, but not enough with the actual players of the comic, whom you should have prioritized to make the conflict more compelling.

oh ya, one more thing. Since a lot of you don't really comment, I might as well shove the topics I'm concerned about on my own thing so. Any critique on the subject will help me out in the future, since i tried a lot of new stuff in my thing:
1) composition of page: I tried changing panel shapes, sizes, and spaces--making more sense than before? Are the word bubbles readable in a good direction?
2) Shading: Lineart was same as before, but I changed the shading so it looked even more hectic. Do the images make sense? Also I had a hard time with contrast. If anyone had some tricks or tips on that, I'd greatly appreciate it.
3)Backgrounds: always the hell of it all. I studied the layout of a room a bajillion times, but still have trouble with perspective. Am I going in the right direction?

Hope that brings some topics to light.

Animeshen: Yea phaze was going to be more of the focus on the second half but i was forced to cut it short.even the fight itself was suppose to go another 4 pages. Thanks for the comments and compliments and i did notice too..everyone kinda wrote phaze off lol cept for wolcik.

When you finish reading my comic, this is the song that plays afterwards: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J0vdaKU-MPQ

Animeshen: Yea, I wasn't sure how to depict it, but before Florence and Lily ran away, and with her last breath (before she burned up from the explosion), she cast one of her summon zombie spells to Florence's gravestone. Dunno if it made any sense, but I know as long as I had two of those pics visible it should have made sense either way.

Hats! Too bad you couldn't get more done because what you had going was really good! i like the desolation of yours, the long panels of just wandering through the snow and the use of black and white with hints of blue. There was a good interaction between Wizzie and Florence too, I think you captured him well. A great start! Wish i could have seen more!
Pocky! A bittersweet story! So much death and not enough mourning! I'm glad you focused on a more human aspect of an apocalypse. Your style works for a story like this I think, tragedy and despair in a wasteland and your heavy use of grayscale and black ink. And is that my lovely Lily I see with half her skull missing? XD my poor baby! Everyone in your story is suffering loss and it makes your story very relatable and human. I liked it!
Wolcik! Even unfinished I like your style, everyone is very expressive and theres good fluidity of movement. I think you captured everyone really well even in just a first pass. I am a little dying to know whats happening at the end though! whose in there?! Not much else i can say since it isn't finished but I always like to see your comics!
Fel! ...it kinda seems like Phaze only made a cameo in everyone's comics, including yours! ^^; your comic kinda peteres out slowly at the end there but for a while its pretty much the most professional looking comic I've seen! I love your panel layout and your awesome dynamic action, and the shading and heavy shadows in the colouring. yours is also probably my favorite Florence just for page 7 with the shadow of his hood over his eyes as he darkly asks, "what about... chocolate?" shit that was as terrifying as it was hilarious XD its too bad I can't quite figure out whats happening with the ending though... I'm not even completely sure if the story is over or if there were supposed to be more pages.
Everyone did so great! Lotta unfinished stories, but everyone turned something in and no one half-assed it! Great job, everyone! I loved reading them!

=_=

7 pages with no eloquent script - simple conflict and backgrounds are lacking - my pencils loses a lot when converting into digital form...
anyway, the baby's over a month now and I'm just glad I manage to post anything XD

So I had to cut mines short, the odds and health was agiants me. It was fun to get back into the swing of things.
Looking forward  to what you 3 did.

Really sorry bros! I did the best I could but I've had some serious issues with my laptop like I mentioned before - Even why Ive been absent on the chatrooms (I cant even type hello!). I failed at mastering my disaster

I still hope everyone enjoys what I have handed in though - and I wish everyone good luck!!

ack! Couldn't hold it back, too excited for this!
Made a special playlist for Master Of Disaster to get into the mood:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?feature=edit_ok&list=PLyY7sDX09EtNjF85mkNg594zBFCfZNnXr

For appropriate scenes in our comics.

Less than 2 DAYS LEFT! Go go gooo! Surviiiive

it will be a radioactive baby jesus christmas miracle!

A week left ~ great things can happen in a single week so don't lose hope :3 <3

Don't give up! You must Master your Disaster!

Honestly I'm as bummed out as you guys.

Hats, I don't want to impose any more pressure on you than those difficulties already have, BUT we were kind of all counting on you to rock our world, here.
Just saying.

I'm some serious issues with my laptop now which make it practically impossible to use the keyboard and other things which has prevented me from being able to work on this - I'll try and plod along but if wrost comes to wrost I'll post what I have.

SORRY ;o;

Because it was asked, the bunker theme does need to be mentioned in your comics even if it's not part of your plot.

how did I not comment on this yet? Kick ass you guys, I expect sick comics out of this

I'm excited to read them! fight hard!!

Starting off 2014 right http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VpFITa9eYoQ

Rock it rock it!

I FUCKING LOVE THIS THEME WE GOT

ITS OONNNNN

time to die......