I enjoyed this little comic and your character is rather quirky and interesting. I really enjoyed the gag at the end, but you sold it short by not having a better establishing shot of the giant revolver. I know you showed it in the very first panel, but it wasn't clear enough that I noticed it in my fist reading. It would have helped to have another shot of it before Hitman started climbing up the later. In order to remain concise you could have had the two characters discussing the money while walking outside to the gun and kept roughly the same page and panel count. It was still funny, but as it was it was like a joke that I had to think about a little bit before I got it rather than just being punched in the face with humor. I also agree with Brian in regards to the final panel of him being shot out of the gun.
Nice work and fun character.
Intro Story / Hitman
Critiques & Comments
# 3
Posted:
Apr 9 2011, 07:48 AM
# 2
Posted:
Apr 7 2011, 07:57 PM
This was pretty interesting, I'm curious to see where you take this character.
# 1
Posted:
Apr 6 2011, 08:32 PM
Nice intro for your character- liked the squid lady and the cannon, very nice odd touches.
Some little notes:
-On the first page, the lady should be saying "proposition", you forgot a P.
-The Click sound effect looks awkward when it's typed- try writing the effect by hand, see if you can integrate it into the work better.
-The opening sets aren't bad, but it's odd to see blank backgrounds behind your characters when they're talking. You don't have to recreate the whole set behind them (that's a bad idea anyway), but hints and pieces of the scenery will help keep things grounded.
-Liked the use of blacks on your characters, definitely wanna see more of that.
-The final explosion doesn't seem to have enough force. It doesn't feel like he's flying away, more like he just stopped in the middle of space. Perhaps you could have moved him farther away from the cannon, even just a pinprick in the distance to indicate that he really got shot far. Otherwise, I thought it was a really funny gag- on a second reading I noticed that it was a giant revolver sitting outside of his house, odd and funny.
Some little notes:
-On the first page, the lady should be saying "proposition", you forgot a P.
-The Click sound effect looks awkward when it's typed- try writing the effect by hand, see if you can integrate it into the work better.
-The opening sets aren't bad, but it's odd to see blank backgrounds behind your characters when they're talking. You don't have to recreate the whole set behind them (that's a bad idea anyway), but hints and pieces of the scenery will help keep things grounded.
-Liked the use of blacks on your characters, definitely wanna see more of that.
-The final explosion doesn't seem to have enough force. It doesn't feel like he's flying away, more like he just stopped in the middle of space. Perhaps you could have moved him farther away from the cannon, even just a pinprick in the distance to indicate that he really got shot far. Otherwise, I thought it was a really funny gag- on a second reading I noticed that it was a giant revolver sitting outside of his house, odd and funny.
Beyond Battle
Ended:
Apr 13th, 2011
Votes Cast:
17
Page Views:
1637
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Artist
Can't wait to see more of this guy. Just pace yourself and don't rush anything. Great job ,Keep it up.