Shen - Everyone’s pretty much said it XD Great use of spotblacks, also love the little “scamper” from Greece haha. I found Kao5’s reaction to Greece a little strange though, I would have expected him to be scared/horrified rather than start praising him as a furry hero.

Fox - Hey, welcome back! I’ve seen Kao5 comics before but I don’t think I’ve been active when one was actually posted? Hope to see more from you soon

Since this is your first 24 hour battle I can’t really criticise it being unfinished. I find that even with generally good time management, having to do things in a day can really throw you off. The problem for me is how you framed the comic - the shots and position of the characters make the story and location very unclear. Even the first page, which is complete, had me lost. So, comic starts with Kao5 in a room with a client. The next panel he’s in front of a door. What door is this? Are we seeing him from the inside of the room, or is he already out in the corridor? The wall and floor colours are the same, and there are no landmarks (objects, furnishings etc) to indicate his location. As a closeup shot, we can’t see the shape of the area too - if it was kinda narrow it would be clear he was in the corridor for instance. The third panel, Kao5 is looking beyond the page and saying “excuse me”... to who? It also messes with the flow that he’s looking off the page to the left when Greece is introduced on the right. Panel 4, it looks like Kao5 is inside a room and opening the door to the outside. So, why was the door slamming earlier? On reread I think what’s happening is the “slam” in panel 2 was Greece slamming against the door? And not the door being shut on him as he goes to get the sauce? But yeah, as mentioned earlier, due to the choice of shot it’s very confusing, and in that case the flow would still be off since he's looking in the opposite direction to the woman. Speaking of flow, it’s broken again in panel 4 as Kao5’s face is pointing away as he opens the door.

This type of stuff is really hard to give advice on, but basically 1) Pull back the camera so we can see where the characters actually are and 2) If characters are speaking, have them face the character they’re talking to. Also generally characters should look inward towards the page (though like all rules it doesn’t have to be followed every time - pointing off the page can intentionally slow pace etc).

Shen: Fantastic inks and I love how you had Kao5 react to the whole situation, it was a pretty nice way of showing his andriodness .

Fox: for your first one day this was a good job and taking on any one day comic is hard enough as is so congrats on that. you can always submit a compelted version as a BB if you want. and if you take on more one day challanges in the future try limiting it to just a 3 tone grayscale to make it easier under the tight deadline.

Dang Xia, your man messing up again.

hey not bad for 24 hours!
(gets me hyped to do one myself!)

Shen: Solid work. You clearly planned out your time well and executed within appropriate means. Solid beginning middle and end, basic character introductions without going too far into a complex situation. Nice job.

Fox: Was good, but felt like you may have filled your plate a bit much for the proposed time frame. In any case, pushing and forcing ones self to go beyond our "limits", and going for color and full backgrounds despite the tight schedule is COMMENDABLE.
Learn, adapt, speed it up, and next time, blow them away! =D

Seeing what can be done in a 24hr comic always amazes me!
Shen: I love how heavy you go on the inks! I love seeing Sovereign Greece in wolf form

Fox: Going color on a 24hr is a strong move. Also let me put in there I love the burger themed lingerie. You got a lot done in 24 hrs even if it wasn't quite finished.

Congrats both of you!

Man 24 hour battles actually exist. I still can't believe folks are taking them on, much less producing actual good comics under those time constraints. HOW XD

SHEN- You continue to exemplify the amount of quality and work that can be attained in 24 hours. Your spot blacks and just general liberal use of ink here is just great. While I agree there was definitely a wanting of a gray to break apart the blood from enviornment ,shadows and other aspects, it didn't wholly affect my experience reading this tense pursuit of this droid in a fursuit. Poor cheetah. I hope there's an all night mechanic around. It's been so long since I've seen Greece in a comic wildin. I want more wolfed out rampaging Greece please
I do find it odd that for such a lithe and bendy character, your posing of Kao5 feels disjointed and rigid. Feline characters lend themselves to liquid movement which I think could be utilized here- especially in a chase.


FOX- You've gotten some great feedback in the previous comments given, so I wont repeat them, but I will sound off on my endorsement since I think they'll benefit your work under longer constraints going forward. I'd also like to see more of Kao5 not on the job. What's he like outside of sex and carnal service?

Critiquing a 24 hour battle is always a tricky proposition. On the one hand, still a battle, still subjected to the same votes and same circumstances as all the others. On the other hand, it's 24 hours to whip up these pages and it's something that should be taken into account during the critique phase. Hopefully, take anything I say with the caveat that this was 24 hours and we know you both are capable of more with more time available to you.

you guys got a lot of guts to post 24 hour battle comics right after some of the most powerful people in the site's comics were up not long ago! this is actually a nice pallet cleanser.

Fox, i love how you go full fur affinity with everything you do. makes me feel weirdly nostalgic. and shen, i love how you and your characters have 0 qualms about hanging out with and being furries?? I know a lot of furries used to argue over how cringe it was to mix humans and furries and you give 0 fucks. admirable. seeing yall together makes me feel like the one straight roomate friend in an entire dorm of gay guys (the gay guys are all big cat furries and the straight guy is a human, if that was unclear.)

anyway, Shen, you used your time constraint to your advantage with making your story set at night with a gorey slasher comic aesthetic. VERY skillful exicution of those principles. i thought your story was kind of basic, but when you only have so much time to work, it is wise to begin asap and throw your qualms over story development to the wind, so good choice.

Fox, I liked your story concept. the idea that greece might not be experienced in fighting flyweights (I've never even heard that term before?) is pretty clever. but like diz said, your art was so incomplete i couldn't tell what happened towards the end. did Greece get thrown out the window?

anyway, im so glad we live in a post-furry-hate void city where nothing could ever go wrong ~ 😌

I just read this and thought "Well that's not fair. Sure I used the basic word balloons but... :: checks comic :: I UPLOADED THE SET BEFORE I PUT IN THE WORD BALLOONS!?

Thank you everybody for the kind words, and yeah, I overestimated what I could fit in from Noon to Midnight.  That said, I feel doubly silly for not even uploading the right save out! :: lol ::

Shen-  You did great with this short and violent tale of the moral lesson of never meet your heroes, its a fine 24hr comic, and a good reminder that Greece ain't no one to fuck with.

Fox- It's always a massive undertaking to step up and do a 24hr comic, they can be quite tricky due to the pending deadline, but alas I think you focused too much on coloring, which was time you could've used to tighten this comic a bit, since its sadly incomplete, but non the less, I commend your effort, every comic one makes is another step forward in their comic development craft, keep moving forward.

comment

Very admirable for both of you to have taken on a 24 hour battle. I know I couldn’t do half as much work in twice as much time.

Shen, I think your comic is short and sweet and to the point even for someone who has never read a Sovereign Greece comic before, and the black and white is spectacular.

Fox, I think it’s commendable to have entered into a 24 hour comic battle, and I feel like I’m the last person who should be giving critique so please take this with a grain of salt as a reaction of a viewer.
Clearly this comic felt unfinished, and to be honest it was unclear about what was even happening. The sudden drop in quality from page one to two made it hard to read for me personally. I understand the time constraints but I find it hard to believe that you couldn’t have at least filled in your line art for the characters white or something so that they could be easier seen against the background, and make quick word balloons.