Techno: Aw man, it looks like you had some really good ideas, a bummer that you couldn't get them done. While there's not much to go on, I will say that I at least enjoyed the bits of humor that still managed to shine through; Mizz Bonzai's line about jealousy got a good chuckle out of me, and the final line got a morbid laugh as well. Better luck next time!!

TRM: That was one wild ride from start to finish! Somehow, though, the antics never felt too 'lol random', in that they at least still more or less flowed from one to the other. I love the misunderstanding Mizz Bonzai has of thinking they need, essentially, marriage counseling instead of wanting to be physically separated. That ending tho, got me weirdly emotional out here. How dare. Also! I really loved that you had this set in the Technodome

These were crazy!!! Good job both of you!

Wonderful bug deaths!!!

technoalchemist: Even though these are basically roughs, I can follow MOST of the story. Except page 5, no clue what's going on there lol. Too bad that you couldn't go with your original ideas as that ending just isn't satisfying at all. But the overall writing in your dialogue was very good. Better luck next time!

TRM_that guy is cool: This felt like I was looking at Picasso paintings lol I would suggest maybe not making all of the characters the same color to help with being able to identify each of them. Especially these characters who already have weird shapes. I was left very confused as to what was going on with who. You did good with communicating the different quirky personalities. I am confused by that choice of ending though, both comics seem to have suffered from this.

TRM_THAT GUY THAT IS COOL - Good job on the comic, you got a lot going on here and I don't feel like you had to compromise on the quality to do it all. Your line work is pretty solid, though I would love to see some spot shadows to help break up the shapes a bit. I think my biggest struggle was trying to differentiate the characters in some of the panels. You have a lot of details in each panel and I think playing with your line weight and blocking out more shapes will help with that. I also had a hard time knowing which word bubble to read first at times. I struggle with making sure there is enough space in my panels for the word bubbles all the time. What I have found that works best for me is to draw in the bubbles when you are doing the initial sketches so that you know how much space you have to draw your characters beforehand. This way you won't have to place your bubbles outside of your panels, which can make reading tricking. I do wish the ending was tied into the story a little bit more. It felt very abrupt and off topic. I know you said that the story turned into something you weren't expecting, that's pretty normal. I recommend writing out your whole comic idea out first. This lets it be what it wants to be, then you can go back and rework some of the plot points so that you can tie the ending into the rest of the story. (An example of this would be after writing the script for this comic and realizing that your opponent would be dying during surgery, you could go back and introduce the panther man character earlier, or suggest that splitting might be really dangerous or impossible.)

Sorry for rambling. One last thing I would like to add is that I love the shopping montage. I could tell that what you really wanted to work on and it was a lot of fun to see Victik and the Part-Grassrider react to the different outfits.

Good job and I can't wait to see more of your comics!

TECHNOALCHEMIST - Even when external forces prevented you from making the comic you wanted you still turned in something. Congrats

That being said, as rough as the art was in this comic, I do like how the personality of the characters still shine through. The roughness of some of the panelling made it difficult to read what was happening, specifically at the end. I am still unsure how Mizz Bonzai actually died. If you ever find yourself in a pickle like this again, I recommend not doing the grey background, I feel it makes it look more unfinished. If you put a stroke on your word bubbles then you won't need the grey to separate it from the background. If you do want to keep the grey, however, I suggest keeping it within the panels. This will make it easier to read and boost your layout design. Again, congrats on finishing your comic!

techno: I share Jelly's opinion than while understandable, the cut page make miss Bonsai's death too sudden. Otherwise, while it's a shame you couldn't finish your comic like you wanted, I still liked where you were going.

TRM: Who knew such a tragic and heartfelt (pacifist) death could work so well??

Techno: I like what you're going for, it's unfortunate you weren't able to get thus at least a bit more finished. Given the state of the comic, I understand the decision to cut the page you shared in the server, but I think if that page could have gotten finished enough to include, the comic could really have used it. Mizz Bonsai's death feels way too sudden as is, the context would have helped a lot here.

TRM: I'll echo the common sentiment  that this is a bery cute comic, especially for a death tourney. I will also say, though, that you could really benefit from working more on laying out panels and speech bubbles. To be specific, just be careful  about where you let a speech bubble overlap the panel boundaries and carry into other panels. Like on page one, the bubble from panel 5 encroached heavily on panel 3 above it, and that disrupts the flow of reading. Usually if ypu have this overlap it should  help.lead from one panel into the panel that comes after it, which you also do a few times. But other than that, keep up the good work.

Techno: It's great that you still got something in, I wish your workload was more balanced because I always look forward to your art when it isn't affected by intense stress.

TRM: Now this comic was good, you made a good sad story and you put out a complete work. Eager to see your next leap!