What the fuck, how did I never comment on this before???

I absolutely love the utter despair of Red Rabbit coming for revenge only to discover that Moa has completely forgotten about her. It's so thematically appropriate for an annihilation match. This is some of your best work imo, especially in black and white. The spot blacks were delicious, the linework was delectable, I love how you drew Moa's sass via facial expressions and body language, and same with Red Rabbit's anger and despair. Just a beautiful work of art, truly magnificent 😚👌

I second what Rivana said, mad respect for both of you for doing this kind of match! (I swear I voted on this, I'm just slow at commenting.) Nice work to both of you!

Red- I love the cover for this, and the different angles that we got in this comic! I also really enjoyed the texture and the way you inked this. The soul-taking was a really nicely portrayed page!

Duel- I thought this was a really unique take on annihilation! Or maybe I just love the thought of absorbing a demon and gaining their powers? Either way! The way you portrayed was very interesting, and I'd like to see how you'd expand on the concept!

 

@heavenbat
I guess I don't watch enough anime to know about the "I can't believe you forgot me" plot line, I didn't know that was an overused trope. Moa definitely remembers her, she's just pretending not to to hurt her feelings. If anyone is a stereotype, it's definitely Moa being a 2000's Mean Girl, and that's ok because that's the intention.


Thanks for the comments everyone, and especially to Will for accepting my THREAT. I wish you got to finish this up, you def did a better job of establishing a story than I did.

I always have mad respect to people brave enough to put their OCs in a death match/annihilation match. I haven't heard of these two ladies before and by this comic alone, I am already interested in their story. Sadly one of them had to be gone forever ;_; It's so interesting that both of you decided to mutilate the other characters' faces here. Well, they both have beautiful faces I guess if you want to make serious damage to the other you go for their moneymaker

Red - Loving your art more and more. I hope you continue to make comics. I adore your style so much and your use of spot blacks is just sexy af. And with Raven's  current demon blood addiction problem and Moa being a demon herself (love her attitude btw!), my story senses are tingling.

William - Shame we won't be able to see Red Rabbit's new design. I really dig it. And I love your take on Hell on this. It's a horrible place and you did give us that feeling in the way the characters are treated within it and how things were run. I do understand that not everyone gets the hang of digital art and I appreciate that you still did your best to deliver us a comic despite these challenges.

ANNIHILATION!

Way to throw caution to the wind and show us kids how you play for keeps. Comics wise, that is. Man, these two battles were savage. Serious blows and damage on both sides.I'll admit I wasn't quite clear on the direction for Duels, but man I loved that last page character design.
As for red, you've been hitting home runs with inks lately, and been flexin' getting into another battle right after. Can Red be stopped? ONLY THE SHADOW KNOWS

So I’m a dumbass and totally forgot the stakes when I commented. Just wanted to come back and add that you two absolute mad lads for committing to this and I have so much respect for you <3

Usually I wait until voting is over to give my last two cents but we’re far enough along.  Goodbye to Red Rabbit.  The only one of my designs I liked lol.  

When I started this comic my intention was to try doing all digital.  Try to be like the cool kids.  But digital has a lot of barriers for me to overcome.  I’m really not comfortable drawing digitally and I spent an agonizing amount of time trying to get it to work.  So the Coliseum panel and the sex page are the only fruits of my digital effort.  I did indeed rush the rest of the comics in traditional pencils so that I could deliver a complete story.  So I apologize to Red that I did not deliver a comic to the best of ability but I’m at least glad I got to tell the story I wanted to tell however condensed it ended up being.

Before I address crits, thank you all kindly who took the time to read and comment and vote.  I really appreciate it.

Reecer, I’m not entirely sure what you’re saying.  I’m not sure how this intimacy thing applies?  If it’s about the sex scene, well Moa is a succubus, a sex demon.  I wanted to pay homage to her history.  Every opponent has drawn sex when it comes to a Moa battle.  So I wanted to keep up that tradition.  It is my first time and so far only time drawing smut.

Thank you Flytee!  Everything you have said is correct and I wish I had polished my comic more.  Hopefully I will do more battles this year and get better hang of my time management than before.

Thanks arts!  Yeah the smut was a clear distraction but I felt I had to do it for a Moa comic lol.

Heavenbat, you are right.  I cut a lot of corners from my original script in order to get the main points of my story done.  Clearly it was to my detriment but you are absolutely right.

Cy, I’m glad you liked my concept!  Yeah I guess the idea was that faced with no other way to kill Moa, she ate her and they kinda melded into one being.  More Red Rabbit than Moa.

Footini, thanks for the comment about the anatomy.  I’m not sure what you mean by “mean spirited”.  I thought about this comment a lot but in the end, I’m not sure.  Perhaps I did not properly convey my intentions and that’s on me.

No matter how this fight ends, things are looking pretty grim.

"/) m (\"

red: uuugh i love the tone to this, the oppressive abundance of ink and the splattering of cheap printer gradients hits super well. the events are nothing really out there but they're very well executed!

duel: i feel like you want this comic to be intimate with the headlining of adult themes, but from what i can tell there's no real intimacy between the two characters, so it just feels unwarranted. the characters interact for two pages, in which the entire death occurs. like yeah, they kiss, but it explicitly means nothing to moa, and it just seems to be a threat to white rabbit? gripping her shoulder could've served the same narrative purpose. especially with what is narrated for how white rabbit gets the upper hand, it feels like it deserves some dialogue or interaction so we can get the primary source on how exactly this interesting dynamic between purity and impurity is, but instead it reads to me like you've told, not shown half the climax of the comic. maybe there's something to just violence upon violence that would appeal to others and not me, but i still feel like, given four actions happen in this and they're all acts of r-rated violence, there should be something else to add context to that. i dunno. it didn't grab me, is all i can really say. : ( sorry that this critique is all negative, i guess it's a style of writing i don't mesh with very well.

Red- I loved this, I secretly have a soft spot for these kinda callous, mean girl characters. Every time Moa rolled her eyes or scoffed I couldn't help but smirk. Your art was super slick as well. Yeah, I don't have much more to add, this was really entertaining!

(Same energy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GlhOUyy4wbs&ab_channel=Tastytoast225)

Duel- Again, this was really entertaining. I loved the chaotic, pulpiness of this story. A lot of your humour landed for me- especially the "what did you do to my fucking face?" panel at the end, I cackled.
Art wise- honestly, the lewd scene at the start was really nice, I think that's where your art was at its strongest- I also loved Moas expression on page 5- 3rd panel and the stadium panel at the start.
Crits- some of the panels looked really rushed and sloppy, which was a shame because I felt like everything was so close to looking polished. Just cleaning up the lines slightly or adding some spot blacks could have fixed it

Red: I don't know how but you make some of my favorite ladies on the site. The rent-free line sold it for me. Your inks are also amazing in this. My only crit is that Mao uses 'bitch' a bit too much, it makes the bigger outlined "you bitch!" not feel impactful since Mao is calling her a bitch regardless of if she's angry or not. besides that great comic.

Duel: You did it you drew the smut, the concepts in this are really awesome, from this version of hell to red rabbit being a pure murder and then eating and becoming a half form of mao feels like a fitting way to annilhate. It is rough in places and you could have skipped out on the smut to make the fight and consumption more of a focus. Still a cool comic.

Red: Daaaaaaamn your inks are delicious!! And as Cy said, those spot blacks are especially tasty--I think my favorite panel was the silhouette on page z, with Moa looking delightfully creepy haha. Writing-wise, I loved Moa's attitude because it was an unexpected reaction to Rabbit's attitude. Other than that... admittedly the story itself fell a little flat for me. I think it was because it felt too much like Rabbit's dialogue was ripped straight from a hundred different animes with the whole "I can't believe you forgot me" plotline. I think, as a consequence, Rabbit felt like less of an actual character and more of a sort of stereotype? That said, though, I really liked the ending. Ripping out Rabbit's soul is such a brutal badass way to achieve annihilation lol.

William: There's some panels in this that are really good--for example, the opening shot of the coliseum and the first panel of the smut. Overall though I have mixed feelings about the story--it feels like the premise had promise, but it also feels like it wasn't quiiiiiite there? I love the idea of a Hell Coliseum and of a demoness getting sent to fight there pretty much on a whim, but at the same time I feel like the smut subplot with Nergal was a little unnecessary and could've been cut to give some time for something else. Nergal's dialogue in page 4 also felt a little exposition dump-y, which made it not feel natural. I also kind of wish, for a coliseum setup, we'd gotten more of a fight between these two? It's over really quickly and as absolutely badass and brutal as it was that Rabbit just straight up ate Moa (and I'm assuming from that last panel absorbed some of her powers?), it was almost... too easy for Rabbit. I think if Moa had managed to so much as land a hit on Rabbit first it would've been better imo!

Red - These are some great spotblacks, chef’s kiss. I also love Moa’s attitude of meangirl up to eleven. Story-wise it wasn’t super interesting to me, but nonetheless I enjoyed the art and may or may not reference this for spot blacks in the future haha.

Duel - I love the concept of a murderer being “pure” compared to a demon, simply because their desire to kill is so one-track/minded and unadulterated by any other emotion. I think I’ve only seen that touched on once in other media. I really wish it had been elaborated on further and the comic completed, because it gets brought up and then just kind of peters out into a catfight. I’m not even sure how Moa was annihilated in the end, since she seems to be alive and, albeit scarred on the last page.

Such a thrilling annihilation match!!

Red- Moa been in my head all this time without even trying to pay rent.
this was a fun read.  It kept a balance of being a dark dramatic encounter with some high stakes but also kept it fun with Moa's personality.  The art felt like a throwback what with this being a character not seen in many years.  Gave me the vibes of some of the older void battles in a good way.

Duel- rougher art here did detract but you still had pretty solid anatomy and design with the characters which helped carry the artwork through.  Killer first panel by the way.  The story here though felt like an old school void battle but in like a super edgy sort of way that felt more mean spirited than being violent fun.  Felt that many of the events where mostly there to shock rather than anything else.  

Why did we BOTH have face destruction?!!!!!!!

don’t say bad words on the internet

It's time to d.d.d.d.d.d.dd.d William Duel

Yeah, kill 'em!

Oh.