Civil Warlock / Familiar and Wallace vs. Invyn & Jasper

Civil Warlock — Familiar and Wallace vs. Invyn & Jasper


445 points
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379 points
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Critiques & Comments
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cats
Artist
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17 comments
# 13   Posted: Apr 19 2018, 09:53 PM
Cutting it close but honestly couldn’t let this pass by considering how much fun I had reading both comics. Both characters are just so much fun to see interact with one another

Mort: I’m a big fan of your coloring style but I think my favorite part of your comic was the writing. It really got me to care about the story you have set up for Familiar/Wallace and I look forward to seeing how it’ll all turn out.

Reecer: Right off the bat, the car joke was a good way to start! The knife jokes were also hilarious. I gotta agree it didn’t have the same impact as Mort’s story but than again, she came in swinging with major plot set up. Also I gotta say, the way you drew Familiar was absolutely adorable!

Shen
Global Moderator
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1160 comments
# 12   Posted: Apr 19 2018, 03:40 AM
Great work you guys!
Thren, beautiful colours as always! I thought it was a touch slow at first but really picked up with all the twists at the end, fantastic payoff! Like others have pointed out there are some variations in quality but tbf its still better than anything i can do so i wasnt too bothered, still very gorgeous and entertaining! I like your grumpy looking Invyn and i cant wait to learn more about Familiar!
Reecer, i laughed out loud right off the bat and your first joke about all the cars in the city! Wallace eating Invyn's books and spell circles was very cute but it felt like there wasn't much payoff at the end, kinda fizzled out a bit. The borders was a very interesting idea and I think theres ways it could be done right, maybe changing the colours of the sky each page to match the mood, like the sun slowly setting to night or brightening to day, make it work WITH the tone of your story. Your background quality is very impressive- it may actually be starting to look better than your figures.

Astrodile
Artist
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16 comments
# 11   Posted: Apr 18 2018, 06:39 PM
Hiya y'all! This was a fantastic read on both ends, props to the both of y'all! The others have more or less already said what I could've actually, so my comments will be short n' quaint.

Mortoonician: A great read, and that animated panel was just...It was so rad. I read this comic on my phone at first so the animation wasn't playing, but when I reread it on my laptop, consider me more then surprised at what I saw. I'm excited to see what's next for this story!

Reecer: Such a cute comic! It's definitely gotten plenty laughs out of me (Especially at the little 'unu' part)! My love for Jasper grows with each page honestly. I think that the border was a really aesthetically pleasing touch, and it would've been nice if its color scheme transitioned to one of a night-sky gradient at the end to match the comic itself. But hey, that could've been too distracting as well. Regardless, loved this comic and the jokes you threw into it! : D

      Edited Apr 18 2018,  06:42 PM by Astrodile

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1339 comments
# 10   Posted: Apr 14 2018, 01:00 PM
mortooncian: for like 80% of the comic the characters are top notch renders, but every now and then they feel a little more sloppily made; like William_Duel added, the backgrounds sometimes feel too hastily made though they're protected by great color choices.. BUT I have seen when your backgrounds are rendered at incredible detail so I know it's not like you don't know how to do it or are hiding a weakness, I guess time got away a bit. The story was real entertaining, the animated panel was nice! I hope to see the lore stuff hinted here (lute, dusty, etc.) to pay off soon

Reecer: Good on you with the effort with showing off backgrounds, and I liked the little gags here and there~ just keep working on your figures and character craft. As for your gutter experiment it was interesting, I don't know if i felt any more or less immersed, i guess try out new things

William_Duel
Community Manager
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862 comments
# 9   Posted: Apr 14 2018, 07:13 AM
Hm I find it difficult to approach crits concerning your style Mort.  It is definitely uniquely you and very recognizable.  There's always a question of how does one critique individual style?  For me style is born out of aesthetic consistency.  So for me, I think that's the weakness of your style.  It isn't consistent.  It's easy enough to hand wave some of the weak parts away.  But for me there's enough visual inconsistency that what I'd like to see from you is more refinement.  You've got this interesting blend of painterly digital art with occassional cel shading.  And it's obvious to me that drawing this way let's you crank out the large number of pages that you do.  But it also means to me that you aren't giving certain details enough love and care.  Your backgrounds are ok for what they are but I feel like they can be so much more.  

I just want to take a moment to point out that a lot of digital art is messy up close but looks detailed at a distance.  I wonder if that would work for you.  To pull back your canvas and create the illusion of detail.

Invyn's face on page 14 has the cleanest look in the whole comic.  I'd love to see the whole comic with that level of refinement.

I'm pleased that you seem to be taking your palettes into account more.  They used to be very difficult to see on monitor but you've chosen some excellent color combos.

Storywise, this was really great and fun.  There are no weaknesses to your storytelling.  Familiar's mischievous personality rings true and Invyn is written really well.  Jasper's note works as a perfect Chekhov's Gun.  Ending in a literal gunshot.  So there is really strong and structured writing here and we get to know more about Familiar and Wallace as characters.  A real joy to read.

Reecer- The borders are an interesting experiment.  There is a way to make it work but I don't think it's there yet.  As they are now they're a weird distraction that detracts from the comic.  I feel like it clashes a bit with your palette.  Since it addsa whole other palette to the visual composition.  So I think I'd keep that in mind for choosing your colors.  Your coloring is decent and clear.  But as you're working digitally I'd make some effort to really define those shadow shapes.  Lasso tool is your friend.  

Your poses are fine but your anatomy still needs more work.  Head and facial proportions in particular.  I want to be clear because I feel like people mistake this, when I say proportions I don't mean they have to be realistic, but there are proportions that work even if you exaggerate a cartoonish style.  I would look into relevant materials like advice from Tex Avery or Chuck Jones.  They were real masters at manipulating proportion to express emotion.  

You've got a good variety of shots throughout.  I'd experiment more with panel layout and composition.  

The story is fine?  I say it with a question mark because it did not feel like much of a conflict.  It was cute and short but feels like more of a prologue than a real story.  I can certainly see you setting things up at the story's end but if your whole story is setup, it doesn't feel satisfying as a standalone.  This is the sort of lesson you can learn from this battle and from your opponent.  I think the biggest problem from a storytelling perspective here is that there isn't any rising action from Invyn.  There is no conflict for him.  No struggle.  I don't know how familiar you are with typical three act structure or from a Japanese perspective Ki-Sho-Ten-Ketsu.  I'd look into those a bit if I were you.  But to explain rising action, a notion both of those structures follow, it's the attempt by the protagonist to resolve problems that are outside of their skillset in a way that leads to growth.  And keep in mind that even though Invyn is meant to be this highly capable magic user, his weakness is his arrogance.  You've got all the tools in place, you just need to use it.  

Desichan
Artist
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90 comments
# 8   Posted: Apr 13 2018, 09:22 AM
Oh freaking gosh these are both some of the best comics I've seen on the site. The art is great in both, and it feels like both of you have improved since your last comics, and the stories are both so well written and enjoyable to read and ohmigosh I love them so much! I love your guys's characters, and uh like put simply this was so much fun to read you guys both made excellent work!!!

Happy April 21st! -Reecer6
Artist
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179 comments
# 7   Posted: Apr 13 2018, 07:44 AM
look at mort showing me up with PLOT and INTRIGUE and SUSPENSE and ANYTHING MORE COHESIVE THAN JOKES STRUNG AROUND A BARE-BONES FRAMEWORK (my comic), EXACTLY AS I EXPECTED FROM THE VERY BEGINNING

i love it, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

so many good invyns throughout, so many wonderful familiar faces (as in, expressions, i am not quoting the lyrics of mad world), and PHENOMENAL LIGHTING AND RENDERING, as usual!!!!

      Edited Apr 13 2018,  07:47 AM by Happy April 21st! -Reecer6

mortooncian
Artist
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106 comments
# 6   Posted: Apr 13 2018, 12:15 AM
Submitted, thumbnails sent, the works o/

Futreblot
Artist
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91 comments
# 5   Posted: Apr 6 2018, 10:04 AM
Always exciting to read a Reecer work. Can’t wait.

Majikura
Artist
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447 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 17 2018, 04:01 PM
I look forward to the Mage Cinematic Universe and the eventual Infinity Warlock Comic

zee
Artist
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119 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 15 2018, 09:27 PM
In one hand I hold my "mortooncian" support flag.
In the other I hold a similar flag that reads "Reecer6".
I wave them both, vigorously and encouragingly, at the same time.

You guys rock, I can't wait to see these comics!

Shen
Global Moderator
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1160 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 15 2018, 03:57 PM
ALL OF MY HYPE

mortooncian
Artist
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106 comments
# 1   Posted: Mar 15 2018, 12:36 PM
ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR(locks)

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: Apr 19th, 2018
Votes Cast: 19
Page Views: 477
Winner: mortooncian

 

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