Thanks a lot for comments, and next time I try to foolcheck my comics more than once XD

Great job to both, I'm proud that of you for giving what you did Wolcik , Considering you situation.

3 ___3

Kitori : Thanks for that i have trouble with writing but what you wrote helps. like being at school

Monday : I totally agree with what you said to be honest the the amount of just textured backgrounds and the lack of a conclusion was due to me running out of time . Just planning i guess

I'd say you've both improved on art - Both comics would be better if they felt more finished, but I'm pretty guilty of that in my own stuff too.
Vain - I really liked your colors. They made Winter more lively.
Wolcik - I like your style. You're a great colorist, so I was expecting to see some of that.
Keep up the good work, both of you

Vain- funny as crap! Loved he colors. Wish I would've seen what happens when he gets to Mr A.

Wol- Arts gotten much better in such a short time. SCHOOL SUCKS  when it comes to us getting our work done.
I see you changed some dialogue after I changed it up for you, we could've worked it out further cus I see you got hit for most of the stuff that either u missed or didn't agree with. But school first ALWAYS.

Vain: Your story is unresolved but your pages seem complete at least. The concept of Winter not having a penis was pretty disturbing so thanks for that. There isn't much to comment since there isnt much of a comic to see just a buidup and part of an action scene that for the most part looks decent and well drawn. Work on making your lines more fluid though; those explosions are just a bunch of curvy lines. And that punch doesnt look convincing enough to throw a man out of a window. Backgrounds seem to be your strong point- but since they're all just textures it isn't saying much. While it works for this comic , it's far less appealing than the drawn backgrounds that you DO have. I can understand that it fills empty space but dont use it as a crutch- it would be a bad way to develop
 Better luck next time.

Wolcik: The comic is far less complete not so much because of story but the fluctuating style between ink and pencil didn't seem developed. The story is decent which is probably its strongest point but with only lines it seems more like a script. Stylewise, Your pencils look farrr superior than your digital inks. I would suggest that you find a way to maintain this analogue freshness in the pencils by getting into traditional inking or by developing your hand at digital. This doesnt mean inking every pencil line you have concieved of but rather expressing what the pencils are doing in single, thoughtful, lines with varying weight

 better luck

Vain: The no-wang threw me at first. Wow, he’s a Ken doll… XD Well, unless he reproduces via some other means, no little Winters running around. XD The art was fun, but you have some grammatical errors that made me twitch and killed the flow to me. I shall list them below:

Page 1: “Ah, YOU’RE finally awake.(or !) I bet YOU’RE starving” – You+Are=You’re / Your=Possessive. These are two very different words with different meanings, so it is very important for people to use the correct one.
Page 2: “You need some clothes, boy,(or .) I’ll be right back.” – Remember punctuation. You have run-on sentences here.
Page 3: “My son, Steven. I need to find him. He’s somewhere in this city. He’s in danger.” – Again punctuation. You’re using the contraction for ‘he is’, and thus that requires an apostrophe (‘) mark. And, again, you had run-on sentences. If I was your editor, I’d also have suggested perhaps combining the last two sentences so you didn’t have so many clipped ones. “He’s somewhere in this city and in danger.” That would be one way to do it, keeping the text short to fit in the bubble and not be overwhelming to the page.
Page 6: “Impressive you’re still standing, son.” – Again, misuse of ‘your/you’re’ and a lack of punctuation.
“Show me what YOU’VE got.” – I think this was just a typo misspelling here, but I’m nitpicking so it will get mentioned.

It is a real pity that you couldn’t have done more. I was interested in seeing where you were going to go with it. Art was consistent and well done. I look forward to seeing more battles from you. Cheers.

Wolcik: It is a pity that you weren’t able to finish, but what you had done was very promising, in my opinion. I like Mr. Awesome’s design and you do a very good job with his expressions. I think if you had been able to get more done you would have added the backgrounds, because it’s glaringly obvious that the pages are incredibly empty without them. But, again, I’m completely sure that this is simply because you were unable to finish, as you have done very detailed backgrounds in the past.

NOW, on to your favorite topic with me… GRAMMAR. I’m going to be flat out honest here; you need someone else to do your editing for you. I’m sorry, but Mrnoitaull obviously is not the person you need because the errors in this are numerous and varied. If you want him to do spelling checks or something, fine. Or do readings to offer you advice in the subject and flow, I’m sure he can help there. But I’m afraid he is giving you no real help with the Grammar problems that you have, and it is not helping you improve. I’m going to do the same here as I did with Vain. (Yeah, it means my comment is going to be massive. Oh well.)

Page 2: “They’d been best friends forever.” – You are mixing tenses here. I decided to continue with the first tense you presented ‘they had’ and make it past tense. You MUST make sure your sentences carry through the same tense when you write.
“But it worries me to know how they are now” – I want to offer a correction here, but it just plain confuses me. I think I might know what you are implying, but this doesn’t seem the best way to do it. “But it worries me to see him alone now.” That might be one way to put it. Basically you are having him upset to NOT see the two of them together, right? All in all, this was simply a confusing line that broke the flow of the narration.
Page 3: “Did something HAPPEN?” – Problem in the tense, again. (I really like his expression in this panel, by the way.)
Page 5: “Look, I don’t know where he is. We got separated when I lost my arm. That’s it!” – A punctuation fix and then removed the ‘ve’ from the second line. You do not need it. “We have got separated...” is incorrect. Had you wanted to use a contraction, for whatever reason, the proper way would have been to use ‘had’ instead of ‘have’ and make it thus: We’d gotten separated when I lost my arm. (We had gotten separated…) However, simply removing the contraction makes it flow much better and more like spoken dialogue and not a painfully proper grammatically sound sentence.
Page 6: “But Borr wouldn’t be with what you’ve done.” I’m assuming (usually a very unsafe thing to do, don’t you think?) that you simply left out a word here. If I was to hazard a guess I’d think you may have meant to put “But Borr wouldn’t be proud/happy with what you’ve done.” My guess is that Borr is Winter’s father(in Mr. Awesome’s head or whatever) and that Mr. A is chastising Winter for not behaving properly or in the manner that he ‘should’ be. Again, probably just an unintentional word-drop, but with a proper editing it could have been caught and corrected.

All in all, I hope that you’re able to keep working on VOID. You keep striving to improve and it is good to see. However, next time I strongly suggest getting someone else to edit, or re-edit, before posting. Many of these errors were easily noticeable and not hard to fix. I’m sorry, but Mrnoitaull doesn’t seem to be able to help you enough to really polish the writing or fix it.

Michaell : I actually went through three options he could have had a normal penis an ice penis or be an androgynous action man I chose the latter haha .

Wolcik : Dude I wish you coulda got this finished up more I really like what you have though the chibi Winter is dead cute haha cheers for the battle

The last page was written just before posting, but the rest was fixed by Mrnoitaull - don't know which parts I rewritten wrong.

Anyway an epic lose for me, because Vain's part is awesome XD Funny and well done XD

Um... I will do a full crit later but um... WHY DOESN"T WINTER HAVE A PENIS? and Wolcik please have an English speaker read over your scripts before you post.

Ok, I uploaded whatever I had on me. It's not a default but still pure crap X(

You can do it guys.

Cool to see more winter and look forward to see the new char. Wolt.
FUCKIN A DUDES

fun fun

good luck guys!

haha, nice! Looking forward to this :3

Lets make it awesome XD