Back in Action / Lawson

Back in Action / Lawson

Back in Action — Lawson


60%
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques
tags: Action, action, comic, superhero



Critiques & Comments
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PyrasTerran
Community Manager
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1425 comments
# 10   Posted: Apr 2 2019, 11:12 AM
your comic has been reviewed on the latest VCast, now live

ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
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278 comments
# 9   Posted: Mar 31 2019, 12:24 AM
It's cool to see you back and doing comics and good luck withyour future projects. The story is good and I like how you inverted it with the damsel being in on it. Also I like Lawson attitude and dialouge. In terms of the art I do like you trying and pushing all the different action poses. I look forward to see you trying more thigns and pushing it even further.

OberGoat
Artist
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27 comments
# 8   Posted: Mar 30 2019, 11:01 PM
Thank you everyone for your comments and critiques! I'll be sure to keep practicing and polishing my style with each comic!

I have to agree with the cross hatching, it didn't help that this was my first real crack at it (also I did it last so it got pretty sloppy at points) but it's another thing I'll work on, for now I will probably stick to cel shading.

Otherwise, it feels good to be BACK IN ACTION

William_Duel
Community Manager
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924 comments
# 7   Posted: Mar 30 2019, 06:59 AM
It is nice to see you crafting more comics.  Keep it up!  I'm not going to repeat what others are saying.  But I will give this advice, for the shadows, that bit of cross hatching, practice that in other ways.  Practice making shadows.  Crosshatching is fun and I say that as an inker.  I also think though, that instead of crosshatching, you'd be better aided in your style by cel shading.  That might be something you want to try in your next comic.  If you're using photoshop, the easiest way is just lasso tool and paintbucket tool.  It'll go quick.

Desichan
Think Tank
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181 comments
# 6   Posted: Mar 28 2019, 09:34 PM
I loved that moment in page 2 where realization dawns on the reader, it was really fun! Very good work and i enjoyed reading this, cant wait to see more! I'll agree with Shen on the crosshatching, at the very least, I feel like it could be utilized better. I def recommend practicing around with shading! Spot blacks could be cool, or really dynamic shading! No matter what, look forward to seeing more!

Shen
Global Moderator
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1279 comments
# 5   Posted: Mar 28 2019, 09:12 PM
Great to see you back, my dude! LOVED the twist ending, didn't see that coming and I was pleasantly surprised! NOT super sure i love the crosshatching shading, I like to see you experimenting but your style feels a little too cartoony to make that effect really work. Theres some areas where you could still improve but honestly just more practice will help a lot of those so I'll lay off until youre a bit more warmed up, hah. Welcome back, Lawson! kick some badguy ass!

SirJellyRaptor
Artist
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54 comments
# 4   Posted: Mar 25 2019, 07:28 AM
This was an entertaining read to be sure, but I did take issue with panel 5 of page 4. That's a lot of exposition for that one moment in time. It really disrupts the flow of your comic and could have been better handled by just mentioning the teleportation ability or by even showing it actually being used. There's no reason for him to explain to this pair of thugs WHY he can teleport, all they really need to know is that he can, if even that. In any case that panel just came off as cumbersome to me

      Edited Mar 25 2019,  07:28 AM by SirJellyRaptor

OberGoat
Artist
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27 comments
# 3   Posted: Mar 24 2019, 08:58 AM
@kozispoon Thank you so much! I really wanted to draw a fight between Lawson and the girl, whom I've been calling "Livewire" but I really like Sparkles... but poor time management on my part meant like, 3 pages got cut from the original version. Maybe I'll do a rematch BB between them sometime.

Actually, the earliest version of the script had everything all tried and true with the girl being a damsel and the guy being the one with the electricity powers, I'm really glad I changed it.

Kozispoon
Approval Committee
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1046 comments
# 2   Posted: Mar 24 2019, 05:08 AM
Ok, I admit I cracked this sucker open and recognized the tried and true voider story synopsis- damsel in distress, hero HAPPENS to slide in to save the day with a smart aleck quip or two. It's been done to death here on VOID-usually for intro comics. So I was a little ho-hum from the get before turning the page.

BUT THEN YA DUN GOT ME BRUH.

Way to twist it on the reader. I fully admit I did not see this coming. I actually smiled when the damsels arm crackled to life with her meta ability as the ruse comes to the fore. Even the banter between Lawson and these hustlers was really entertaining. If I had to nitpick anything, I wish we'd actually SEEN the battle between him and Sparkles, if only to get a chance to ACTUALLY see Lawson 'back in action.'

Truly a satisfactory comeback. Looking forward to seeing ya boi take on a fellow VOIDER!

OberGoat
Artist
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27 comments
# 1   Posted: Mar 23 2019, 03:15 PM
Done and submitted! Though there are some rough spots that I would have touched up given more time, I'm overall pretty happy with it, I hope you all enjoy!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Mar 30th, 2019
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 735
 

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