Rikun you really brought you A game for this one, 3 dynamic, coloured pages in 24 hours is impressive. I liked the simple amusing story and the last panel on page 2 was excellent.
Orion- Nice Comic! Honestly, the other crits summed up my thoughts really well? I'm just swinging by to say good job.
▲The Brick and the Ball▽ / Spoiler vs. The Brick
Critiques & Comments
# 5
Posted:
Oct 31 2020, 02:58 AM
# 4
Posted:
Oct 29 2020, 04:45 PM
Nice job both of you for completing another 24 hr battle.
Orion - love that you're playing around with different perspectives in this comic and that there is a continuing theme from your last fight
Love the build up but unfortunately we didn't see any resolution or at least the comic feels like it was cut short. Again. I love the red and black combo. It fits the hell theme.
Rikun - well done on this one. The pacing is good and the story is funny. Good punchline too! Not sure what you meant to show in the 2nd panel of page 3 but this is a great comic overall esp as a 24 hr battle.
Orion - love that you're playing around with different perspectives in this comic and that there is a continuing theme from your last fight
Love the build up but unfortunately we didn't see any resolution or at least the comic feels like it was cut short. Again. I love the red and black combo. It fits the hell theme.
Rikun - well done on this one. The pacing is good and the story is funny. Good punchline too! Not sure what you meant to show in the 2nd panel of page 3 but this is a great comic overall esp as a 24 hr battle.
# 3
Posted:
Oct 26 2020, 11:03 PM
Orion: It is cool you have been continuing the story but I think this story either needed another page or two to make a consise ending or just skip the estrella part and have brick just be a guardian straight up so we could more cleary understand the ending. I do love the red tones you have been using this comic.
Rikun: this is a very good one day comic. The joke was really funny and the panel shots were really cool in this comic overall. good job on this comic.
Rikun: this is a very good one day comic. The joke was really funny and the panel shots were really cool in this comic overall. good job on this comic.
# 2
Posted:
Oct 26 2020, 05:27 AM
Orion - I agree with Cab, it’s really cool how whenever you do these 24 hour stints, you try and make an overarching story. I think you got a little too ambitious with this one though - an escape from Hell with Estrella herself trying to stop it really needed more time for you to pull off. I had clarity issues with this comic, not being sure what was happening or which order I was supposed to read the bubbles. Brick appears for like one panel and then disappears? What’s up with that?
Rikun - There’s something stupidly funny about there just being a literal brick in the alley with that ominous angle. I liked the shots of the Lego as Spoiler got punched, and the last panel showing his cracked final message. This is pretty polished for a 24 hour battle too, good job!
Rikun - There’s something stupidly funny about there just being a literal brick in the alley with that ominous angle. I liked the shots of the Lego as Spoiler got punched, and the last panel showing his cracked final message. This is pretty polished for a 24 hour battle too, good job!
# 1
Posted:
Oct 25 2020, 08:20 PM
Orion---- I been enjoying your continuing storyline from the previous 24hr battles, its been quite ride and I want to see more of it, keep up the good work sir,
Rikun-- Like I told you before, you got great storyboard skills, and it truly shines here, you did the best with a silent, show don't tell action in your battle with Spoiler, good stuff.
Rikun-- Like I told you before, you got great storyboard skills, and it truly shines here, you did the best with a silent, show don't tell action in your battle with Spoiler, good stuff.
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Artist
Rikun: The brick gags here are quality, love the flash brick montage; I can't put into words what it's conveying but I like it anyways. Though, I do think you've highly underutilized the mysticality of Spoiler here in just making them a dude who kicks, even if the gags require it.