Speed Death Tournament 2020, Round 1 / Mayes Meindert vs. Soggy

Speed Death Tournament 2020, Round 1 / Mayes Meindert vs. Soggy

Speed Death Tournament 2020, Round 1 — Mayes Meindert vs. Soggy

54.4%
561 points
Page 1

Crit level: No preference
tags: garland steelestring, mayes meindert, soggy, Speed Death Tournament


by Nothin

45.6%
470 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No critique desired, comments encouraged




Critiques & Comments
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Heavenbat
Artist
104 comments
# 13   Posted: Feb 5 2020, 10:18 PM
Arts: Daaaaamn that's one hell of a punch in the emotions. Great story, great job at really making the reader feel sympathy for both the victim AND the murderer. You asked for crits on the inks and shading, so I'll echo what Cy said: You could definitely stand to punch up the intensity of the shading, especially in places like dark rooms and dark alleys. The inks, though, look good! I know it's a weird detail but I really like the way you did the corners of Mayes' mouth.

Nothin: What a solid first two pages. Really good way to portray that slow monotony and slow build of anxiety over the course of the day. That said, though, I think maybe you could've done with a few less panels of that monotony, which would've let you get to the really important part of the comic, the fight/death. It's legible, but just barely.

Bobo
Web Dev
926 comments
# 12   Posted: Feb 4 2020, 11:46 PM
Spoiler: arts • show
That last panel is one of my favorite things you've ever drawn haha. I love how Mayes feels so much like a trojan horse for Garland's story to continue. You did a great job of showing us a bit of Mayes' personality, but left enough vague about him that I'm both intrigued and wondering whether it matters, or whether this really is just a story about Garland and Mayes is the mask he held up to get his own story without being accepted on the site as a character. Either way, I love what you're doing here. Your art is improving a lot, and it's at a place where it's hard to pick out any one thing to work on; you're improving in every aspect, I think, and you just need more practice to get a more solid feel for the forms of things. I'd suggest adding some practice with inanimate objects to your figure drawing as a way to improve on that overall. But legit I feel like the best crit I can give is basically just that you're already on the right track and just need to keep going!

Spoiler: nothin • show
I feel like this comic would have been just about perfect if you'd been able to finish it. It's a little unclear to me what's happening on the third page that triggers Soggy's breakdown, so I'm not sure if there's any context I need other than him being so stressed that he lost control because of something (I can't tell if it was him being attacked or if it was some sort of accident or something). I think I would have liked to see some aftermath showing Soggy after he's calmed down again or something. The ending just feels kind of abrupt. But maybe that's something you were leaving for the next comic, which is probably fine, especially considering the time constraint! I'm sort of babbling now, but I hope something there was helpful.

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
387 comments
# 11   Posted: Feb 4 2020, 10:26 PM
Thanks for all the crits. I feel this is some of my best work and really proud of it.

Nothin: your character designs are fantastic and Soggy is such a wonderful character and a big part of why I was able to stay so dedicated to do so much. Also your inks are amazing and I like how you used the pencils to show Soggy breaking down.

Flutterbyes
Artist
254 comments
# 10   Posted: Feb 3 2020, 06:27 PM
Artsandgoodies: A tale of a sad, unwilling little goat...  It does seem that it was intentional that Soggy would appear to be typing with stumps and then grow fingers, but the way it manifests was just kind of confusing. I wonder if there could have been a better way to communicate "yes, this is what you think you're seeing, dear reader." Because that episode with Soggy didn't really factor in, I wonder if it would have been better to skip the opening with Mayes, open up with Soggy instead to act like this is a story about Soggy, and then put all the exposition in the ending after the murder.

Nothin: oh... Oh soggy. Oh poor bun. The way you communicated that chipping away at his patience was great. It's too bad you couldn't complete it, because the energy in those sketches gives me shivers, like the comic intended to undo itself just as Soggy's mind became undone.

Heathen
Artist
350 comments
# 9   Posted: Jan 31 2020, 06:35 PM
Arts: I love this. The dialog was very natural, I really felt bad for these characters. The way you did the kill scene was great. Every aspect of your artwork has improved by levels. My only nitpick is that in the 2 panels before the last one, we lose our sense of direction because there's nothing recognizable in the environment. Those flower vines you put on the wall are such a nice creative detail, by not seeing them in those two panels, we kind of aren't sure where we are. The last panel remedies this perfectly, but the two before it needed a hint of those flowers to orient us.  

The webtoons format is working wonderfully for you here, and it's clear your trial and error with it is paying off. Excellent work.

Nothin: What you have here is great, too bad it fell apart. Love the acting, though.

Flytee
Artist
120 comments
# 8   Posted: Jan 31 2020, 04:47 AM
Art- Well that was a stressful read, in the best possible way! What a slick comic! The story was well-paced and full of stakes and emotional intensity (I never thought someone could get me to sympathise with a murderer mid kill.)
You also did a great job setting up the characters as well as getting the ball rolling on an overarching story, I'm invested in seeing how this plays out for Mayes.

side note- the true horror of this was Mr Soggy's excitment over a 2% raise after 9 years rip my dude.

Nothin- god I love your art, those first 2 pages were 10/10 you really captured the misery of work life.
From what I can see of the sketched pages I adore where this was going, just one business bun completely SNAPPING. It's a good route too take for this character. poor Mayes ;_;
I'll also echo previous comments the red sketchy lines were oddly effective for conveying the mania of Soggy losing it. I guess its a happy accident from this not being finished.  

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1080 comments
# 7   Posted: Jan 29 2020, 10:37 PM
NOTHIN- Wow, the quality on these first two pages were excellent. Despite the setting being your typical office cubical, I loved that you took the time to include a great environment for this guy to stress and live in. Seems the time crunch got to you, but  I was left really intrigued over what happened- I'm unfortunately unable to tell with the sketch pages.


ARTS- I think bot you and your opponent had a time utltizing generally boring locations (A room, an office) and managed to make them interesting, What I think tipped things in your favor are your rad angles. I love that worms eye view peeking past the file. For an SDT twho's whole M.O is to kill people, it was arresting to see such a realistic depiction of it with an overgrown bunny and goat. I found myself shifting along with Mayes when Soggy wasn't dying fast enough

Pita
Think Tank
199 comments
# 6   Posted: Jan 29 2020, 07:27 PM
Arts had a more polished product visually speaking, but if I were to pick which one entertained me more?  Nothin, hands down.

Maybe it's because I love Aggretsuko and the archetype of an office worker who's high strung from their job.  Maybe I wanna see someone just go absolutely insane.  And maybe I won't see more of Mr. Soggy due to the circumstances of this match, but sometimes a salaryman has to just go apeshit sometimes, and I'm here for that.

I'm aware that Mayes has an arc that's being developed, and that definitely gets points, but as a concept?  I like Mr. Soggy.

TheCydork
Artist
175 comments
# 5   Posted: Jan 29 2020, 05:19 PM
Arts - The use of a poisonous flower to kill Mr. Soggy was very clever! Poor Mayes :( You asked about shading, I’d say it was good but a bit too subtle in the alley scenes. The characters themselves also didn’t cast shadows, which looked odd.

Nothin - Holy shit that escalated quickly. I expected Mayes’ death to be accidental but... damn. In some parts I think being unfinished actually helped with the ending bc the shaking made Mr Soggy seem extra crazed on page 4. The lines you did manage were so lovely and smooth. I do wish you’d gotten more done :/

Symon_says
Artist
95 comments
# 4   Posted: Jan 28 2020, 10:41 AM
Artsandgoodies The plot thickens! Guess I never thought of doing one long massive page. Personally I'd say there was too much blank black space.

Nothin poor sweaty rabbit, bathrooms are for tinkling! A week isn't very long time.

Nice job folks!

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
498 comments
# 3   Posted: Jan 28 2020, 06:10 AM
sad boys ;-;

Artofjoe
Artist
16 comments
# 2   Posted: Jan 28 2020, 01:58 AM
Dang, Arts! You were soooo close to making me cry! I thought your lineart, coloring and shading all looked great! I think this was my first time reading one of your comics, and I was really impressed.

Nothin: I am not sure if you meant to do that thing where the art gets more unfinished the deeper soggy goes into madness or if you actually just ran out of time, but whatever it was I thought it was pretty cool.

ArtsandGoodies
Community Manager
387 comments
# 1   Posted: Jan 27 2020, 10:39 PM
submitted and really proud of what i was able to do in this week long period. for crits I would like to know how the line art looks since i have been using an experimental brush for inking. Also I some crits on the shading would be nice, as I feel like I have trouble applying the knowledge I have about how to shade, like I understand the concepts but some tips on the execution of shading would be nice.

Comic Details -

 
Type: Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Feb 4th, 2020
Votes Cast: 29
Page Views: 536
Winner: ArtsandGoodies
 

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