Jane Blonde vs. Drednaut

Jane Blonde vs. Drednaut

Jane Blonde vs. Drednaut

293 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: No preference

by drawdan

350 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5

Crit level: Open to any comments or critiques

Critiques & Comments
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# 16   Posted: Aug 21 2019, 09:14 PM
Mr Kent: I do like your inks and line art in this. I don't necessarily think saving Jane for just the final page is a bad a thing and it could have worked, however I feel this story in general just doesn't work. The writing is weak, it feels mostly like exposition to explain the current situation of void without providing any wit or characterization. Also there was no build up to Jane showing up, which is the big problem with her only being in the last page, had there been some build up with them somehow referencing her in previous dialogue it would have worked.

Drawdan: I loved this story, how it goes from sort of normal to getting weird and confusing to show that his mind and memories are being manipulated is great. My main crit is that I feel you should push your contrast more, I think your lights and midtones are good but you don't have enough darks and I would personally love to see some spotblacks in your style.

# 15   Posted: Aug 21 2019, 09:10 PM
Mister Kent: Aw yeah, rocking the hand drawn lines and textures, and the "This could be a photocopied zine" quality, which fits the "old school" motif. And kudos on resisting involving your character until the very end, where she makes a great entrance. Although, without the implied continuation... I wonder if newcomers and lazy readers are a little lost. but it's not that important, because you've captured an idea and scene well within a few pages.

Drawdan: And while Kent's has a zine quality this has more of a painterly comic style. I like your use of greys with a limited amount of rendering, although at times the limited nature does show itself (and in my opinion, imperfections that look digital have a little less charm than analog imperfections). Things really escalated and got intense and tragic fast here, which is impressive considering it's midway through a five page comic!

# 14   Posted: Aug 19 2019, 07:28 AM
Very true about those last two panels on pg 2 Heavenbat. All good crits, thx !!

# 13   Posted: Aug 19 2019, 02:10 AM
Mr Kent: Gotta say, it's a bold move to have a comic where your own character only shows up in the last panel. I gotta agree with the others though, kinda wished we'd gotten more of an interaction between the two and a bit less of the fishmen. And the fourth page kind of felt like a non-sequitur to me since Discharge kind of appears out of nowhere, with no indication of how he got there? That said, I absolutely love your heavy inks, especially the difference in line weight between outline and details!

Drawdan: I do really enjoy the storyline you've got going on here, and I'm very curious as to where you're gonna go with this, if you do continue it! I would say, if you get the chance, it'd be good to double check your dialogue or have someone go over it for you, cuz it felt a bit clunky in places and there were a few spots with spelling/grammar errors. I also feel like you could push expressions a bit more, especially in such an emotionally-charged scene like this. It stood out to me the most in the last two panels of page 2, cuz Drednaut has almost the same expression in both of them even though in one he's supposedly being hit? That said, your environment work is fantastic, and you do really god at perspectives!

# 12   Posted: Aug 17 2019, 02:50 PM
I love the old school style of comic storytelling and these two characters really exude that essence to a T.

That said, I'd have to echo what the rest already mentioned - I wish I saw more of Jane Blonde from  Kent's version. I sure hope that we see the continuation of this plot as I am curious as how it would turn out.

I love Drawdan's style as well.  It's got that shaded/painted look that I myself am planning to adapt in my own comic. My only crit is that maybe adding better contrast would add more impact to the comic as everything looked midtone-gray from afar.

All in all, I enjoyed seeing these two characters and would love to see more of them active around Void in the future!  

# 11   Posted: Aug 17 2019, 04:00 AM
Thx Heathen, all good suggestions.  I cant say that is entirely intentional, but I can say that that particular character/villain is not a Lex Luthor. He kinda is a regular guy thats gone down a dark path. I have plans to feature him in a Dreds beyond battle. That said, I like the idea of a close up and wish I had included that. Thx for the crit!

# 10   Posted: Aug 17 2019, 12:08 AM
Kent: You've sidelined your own character for some random fish men! Shame.

Dan: Very nice establishing shots and panel layouts. My only real critique is that you didn't give the bald bad guy an interesting design or a close up, so while he's delivering dialog that tells us he's someone important, he just looks like a background extra, and he's shown at the least imposing or commanding angle possible. Think about how the angle and position of characters and elements in a panel inform their relationships to one another from a story and thematic standpoint, and remember: a hero is only as good as his villain!

# 9   Posted: Aug 16 2019, 10:11 AM
Cool angle with the old school story line. I like your sea creatures, but im a little bummed out that Jane didn't show up till the last page. I was looking forward to seeing how you handled their interaction.

# 8   Posted: Aug 15 2019, 09:40 PM
Uploaded,**yawn** going to bed now, looking forward to your comic Mr. Kent.

# 7   Posted: Aug 7 2019, 08:22 AM
A wild drawdan appeared!

# 6   Posted: Jul 31 2019, 10:03 AM
Sorry Kent, I had to extend. I have to go out of town the 3rd through the 7th and I wont be able to finish or upload anything.

Darius Corry
# 5   Posted: Jul 26 2019, 11:57 AM
Two of my favorite folks! I can not wait!

# 4   Posted: Jul 25 2019, 01:45 PM
FYI Kent, See my last couple of battles for Dreds current look. Im working on updated model sheets now.

# 3   Posted: Jul 24 2019, 01:42 PM
Thx for the challenge Kent.

# 2   Posted: Jul 23 2019, 06:04 PM

Mister Kent
# 1   Posted: Jul 23 2019, 05:54 PM
OMG This is Happening

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Aug 21st, 2019
Votes Cast: 16
Page Views: 716
Winner: drawdan

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