Voids Sexiest 2018 Pageant Royale

Voids Sexiest 2018 Pageant Royale

Voids Sexiest 2018 Pageant Royale

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by Shen

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by Hellis

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Critiques & Comments
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zee
Artist
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129 comments
# 25   Posted: Oct 16 2018, 09:04 PM
A little late and brief, but I just wanted to say that I enjoyed reading each of these comics.
The goofiness that comes with the theme made the whole event very pleasant and entertaining.
Great job you guys!

Also congratulations Jay!!
Your comic was fantastic and Swan will wear the title well- despite the way she won it, ha ha.

Jiisuri
Artist
icon
131 comments
# 24   Posted: Oct 15 2018, 07:28 AM
@Reecer: It's really not just the art and it has nothing to do with you as a person. All the jokes just really fell flat for me, and I felt that I needed to also point out that you're currently stuck in a rut as far as art goes where nothing is really improving because you are currently stuck in a method of drawing figures that looks pretty stiff. I'm aware that I came across as harsh, but I just had to reflect the honest feelings I had as one out of many people who read this, and no one else reflected these so I had to highlight this even more. If you wanted me to break down the comedy and pacing of the comic, I would have to write a whole essay on it, which I really didn't want to have to because I was trying to keep my comments brief.

But since you asked I guess it's time for the essay.

Firstly, elaborating on the art. Everyone's stiff, and the backgrounds are flat. There are no indicators of depth where there should be like seeing a little bit of the top of each audience stand like in page 2, various scenes involving the judge table, stuff like that. Also, you draw hands in ways that are very unappealing in terms of silhouette. Hands have gestures to them. Learn them. There are panels where the body is very wonky too. Swan on page 9, Gray's awkward posing on pg 10, both judges in 15, etc. This is why I wanted you to break your current mold, because you're going too hard into a direction that wont fix that.

Now, onto the stuff that involves the comic itself. Jokes just happen.

No setup, they just happen.

It's possible to make good jokes with 1 panel, visual humour and all that. But to do so requires a quality of art skill you haven't obtained yet. This is why I felt bored and needed to point out the art. None of it really sold the humor of it. No funny expressions, pose and gestures aren't goofy enough, none of the characters were poised sexy enough with a composition that doesn't emphasize anything, the characters just say stuff, and the stuff is meant to be funny.

So if the joke telling with setup, punch, resolution isn't there(and if it's there, it's not quite done right), and if the art isn't putting emphasis on it either, that leaves the joke itself. And unfortunately, the joke itself isn't enough for me, warranting only an "ok" from me at each turn.

Here's an example. Page 15.

You just got out of what is supposed to be a punchline, which is the judge falling asleep because boring interviews. The way you did it was to slap it as one small panel. No setup to this like showing the other judge attentive through the interview scenes while the other judge is slowly falling asleep, or anything like that. Just 1 panel that forms a mere 1/9th of the page, followed by a reaction 2nd panel  that wasn't framed in a way to present the other judge as really pissed because she just forms 1/8th of that panel on the side. Then ANOTHER reaction panel that is super zoomed out with 3 characters just kinda standing there, too far for expression, and only swan really making a pose that says a thing. This panel takes up a meaty 1/3rd of the page and draws out the flacid punchline.

This is the importance of paneling in comics. And the background scenery you put behind every comic isn't helping either because it makes each comic page feel.... l o n g e r.

Some of these jokes don't even make any sense as far as pacing goes either. Page 16, Click's sudden outburst of dropping out. Nothing to set that up. Nothing at all. It just happens out of nowhere right after he shows off with toonspeed-running done with a smaller panel of the page panel into a long panel rectangular panel and it's supposed to be funny. Not for me.

Furthermore, you share an an issue with Hellis: Conveyance. Here is an example. Page 15, 3rd to last and 2nd to last panel. It took me only now to figure out why those panels are there, and I even now I'm not sure if it's right. Judge without glasses getting infatuated with zedan. There's no good visual indicator of this. No heart symbols, no sparkles, no expression that conveys that. A simple gradient is not enough. A simple gradient is not enough for the pin-up intro shots of each character too. If you're going to sell on this, you cannot expect to just draw the character, have no good plan for the BG and leave that panel blank until it's time to color. And each humanoid character's face, you draw the features nearly the same all the time with little variation on their expressions.

This is why I am making a stink about the art. Because the art was everything here, and it didn't work for me. And where the art didn't work, the storytelling didn't save it.

This had no hatred towards you as a person. On the contrary, I am caring too much about this when I could have just ignored the comic as a whole and did something else, and I see before me a person who is stuck in a perilous spot and must break out of it if they are to improve as a comic artist.

      Edited Oct 15 2018,  07:44 AM by Jiisuri

Badger
Artist
icon
33 comments
# 23   Posted: Oct 14 2018, 09:36 PM
Shen: This was super fun to read hahahahh the character interactions are great, they all feel balanced and each get a good amount of screen time! I’m also a fan of how you had Click as a host! Thank you for the cameo!!

Mrpr: I like the setup of how Grita attempts and fails each part of the pageant, she made this pretty entertaining! On my first read I didn’t get why Gray had beer at the end until I saw another comment mentioning it, looking at it again though I like how it refers back to the line at the beginning!

Jaykat: Your colors look great and I also love how you use textures! I was invested the whole way through and the ending was a cool twist. The pageant being held in Deus was a nice touch!

Kent: I really like the unique take on the tournament! Agreeing with what other people have said in that I’m interested in seeing a more complete version of this!

Hellis: I think you balanced the tone pretty nicely here between the humor and the more serious scenes, the way page 22 built up to the song was pretty cool as well! The ending with Huey has me really intrigued and I can’t wait to see more!

Reecer: This definitely got some good laughs out of me especially on the first few pages! The introductions were great, the white spots in the color and shading were a little distracting for me but its awesome that you were able to get all of this in full color! Overall loved how entertaining your comic was!

Happy August 21st! -Reecer6
Artist
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257 comments
# 22   Posted: Oct 14 2018, 03:31 PM
@Jii: ...I'm not really sure what you expect me to get from that. The fact that one aspect of the art of the comic turned you off for the entire rest of it feels like more of a failure on your part than mine? Are you trying to tell me that my art's so bad that I need to, like, spend a month training in an isolated Tibetan temple before I can create anything remotely enjoyable? Because you seem so emphatic about this, but I've never seen anyone else feel that way. It's to the point where I kind of feel it's a personal issue with me, not the comic.

ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
icon
239 comments
# 21   Posted: Oct 10 2018, 10:38 PM
Hellis: 25 pages is fucking amazing good job, the amount you managed to do in the time limit as well as doing other stuff at the same time is super impressive. I also like how you were able to add serious character and story development in this, as well as being able to go from silly to serious in a good subtle way.

To quickly touch upon the subject of the eye reveal I think a great way to have people remember is make sure to attach a word to it, instead of Raygun saying it was a blue eye he or someone should have brought up the fact he is a halfling, an important part of making an element stick is repeating it constantly, so whenever it’s brought up someone should be calling him a halfling of half-breed so the reader doesn’t have a chance of forgetting that word or what is attached to it.

One thing that hasn’t been touched upon in your art so far I think is that for dramatic moments, you need to exaggerate the emotions a bit more. For the sad moments in this I think you relied a bit too much on crying to show someone being sad. This feels weird for me to advise since I’m in the same boat and still trying to learn proper anatomy as well. There are moments in comics that require more exaggerated anatomy that teters towards something a bit more unrealistic so  we can properly convey the impact of the moment. In the comic medium we can exaggerate it’s important to exaggerate emotions because people are generally subdued or subtle with their emotions in a way not entirely possible to convey in comics and can be hard to make entertaining if you stick

Also Hara’s font is a bit distracting, I think it was because it was inconsistently used, on page 22 and the bottom of page 13 Hara uses the normal font. There are a couple other places this happens and it is distracting because it doesn’t feel intentional. When you give him a distinct font you need to be careful and make sure to be consistent with it, otherwise people are going think the moments where it changes are important and that he’s putting up some sort of voice the other times.

There was one place I do wish you used the intentionally different font to your and that is the song. Songs are hard to show in a silent medium and one of the few things you can use to help convey a song I think would be the font. A different font that is more graceful and unique would show how much impact the song has and how good a singer Hara is by having such a different looking font it would imply a huge change in voice. It would help convey information to the reader and put us closer to the other characters. Regardless of font the song was a good and your poetry stuff is really cool and I hope you find more ways to implement it in your comics.

I can’t state enough that doing 25 pages fully inked is an amazing feat when so many people did incomplete or defaulted comics and you are becoming a comic production monster in the best way possible. When you start to do your own webcomic more than quality it is important to always deliver and I feel like at the rate you’re going you can do that which is great.

Receer: That savage as fuck burn on page two is great, I also enjoy your humor in general. Though In terms of your writing I would have liked to have some sort of introduction for the microphone person since I have no idea who they are or even a lamp-shading joke with them saying their name wasn’t important would be nice.

In terms of your art one thing I wanna say is do a little more to avoid all the white spots. The easiest way to do this is have your background colors be a layer under the character colors and just have them cover the entire panels so you don’t have to worry about little white spots, and little spots of slightly off color are less distracting and noticeable than that. Also your side things don’t really bother me and i’m pretty cool with you having them in all your comics as it’s your thing and good job on doing a complete full color comic for this.

ArtsandGoodies
Approval Committee
icon
239 comments
# 20   Posted: Oct 10 2018, 10:05 PM
Here's my first chunk of crits, more to come as I write them up.

Tech: I was looking forward to seeing Click taking the pageant, I really enjoy comics with him so it’s a shame you defaulted, even the penciled stuff with him is fun because of how well you animate characters.

Shen: This was a funny and good comic, I like how you managed to get a good amount of character interaction between Hara and Gray without making the other characters feel like they didn’t get enough,you did a great job balancing the screen time for all the character even giving the judges a good amount of spotlight as well, though I do I kind of wish Click was a contestant as well rather than a host. Other than that minor gripe this was really enjoyable and was definitely the most fun and well balanced comic.

MrPr: I like this comic shows how bad Grita is at stuff, I thought her of as this super OP being who’s just a lazy drunk so it’s kind of cool to see her kind of suck at some of this stuff was really entertaining. I will repeat what others have said in that you need some backgrounds. Even just like one or two lines to show a floor and a wall or in this case like a circular line to show the stage would be helpful. Story wise it was simple but I kind of enjoyed it, it’s a straightforward one of Grita sucking at everything while everyone else gets a chance to show something their good at, Click lifting with his ears was hilarious. I personally like the ending mainly that don’t flatout say Gray but showed she did by offering the beer, I respect that storytelling and it’s a good moment of "show don’t tell".

Jaykat: I love the way you do cyanscale comics and it looks so good and complete. I also like in the story how Swan wins through a technicality. The only crit I have could really say is the judges got an awkward amount of screen time. They got full panels for reacting to the first trail and then we never see another panel with them, so it leads to a weird imbalance sicne the reader is expecting more reaction panels from them but get nothing. I think it would have been better to leave those panels out and maybe find a way to fit a small panel showing them holding up quick signs to show their reactions for each part of the show so the reader isn't confused that they just disappear. I imagine there was full reactions to each part but that got cut due to time, I think if you just divided up the effort in the first part into a third of that so you can put them in the other ones it would have worked out better. Other than that your art and style is amazing and something I would expect and buy from a professional comic.

Kent: This is a cool set up and prolly the most unique set up for the pageant out of everyone’s. Unfortunately this only the set up and nothing else so I can’t really say much else but I would enjoying seeing a BB completing this.

Jiisuri
Artist
icon
131 comments
# 19   Posted: Oct 9 2018, 01:52 PM
Alright, if I go full length critiques I'm gonna die so I'll go rapid-fire and if any of you need more from me just yell at me on the discords.

Shen: Easily the most entertaining of the lot to me in terms of the writing, joke pacing, and general engagement I had. My chuckling doesn't lie, and all these characters really bounce off each other and had good interactions. I actually don't have that much to say other than god speed to you, expand your repetoire of poses and such to increase the sexy value, and keep up the good work.

MrPr: Alright so I know your general style is humour with short gags and stuff, but aside from  the one on pg 12 I've failed to laugh even a chuckle at all. Each other participant showcasing a thing Grita is bad at is an ok thing that would build up to a good end, but the end itself just felt pretty flacid to me and made the whole thing feel pretty pointless. Benefit of doubt; maybe it's meant to be like that, but in such a case, there really could have been a better ending punchline to all this I feel.

Jaykat: Easily the best looking one of this bunch, and probably the only one here that I would give the adjective "Sexy" without any objection towards how the characters are drawn. Some great character interaction here and there, which I enjoyed. Only thing that I didn't like much was the ending, which kinda seemed abrupt and didn't feel like it contributed much except for being a twist. Other than that, great job.

Kent: Man, I wish this was complete, this seemed like it was leading somewhere different and I wanted to know what.

Hellis: Already told you on the discord about this, but will add on here that dechado is an innocent caught in this crossfire, considering it's easy to read it and really not know the right critique for it because there were factors we couldn't possibly have known considering the conveyance of it in the comic itself wasn't the best. The rest have gone on about this a lot so moving on to new stuff now. Watch out for panel layouts because Pg 7 really made me second guess my reading order because there wasn't enough gutter seperating panel 4 from panel 1, which destroyed my immersion for the page as my mind went "Wait did I read that right?". Also, I appreciate the attempt at Hara character development with the song, but there is an inherent risk and problem with using songs in comics: there is no sound to listen to and there are only lyrics. This is a recurring issue with comics that is extremely hard to pull of right because a majority of people aren't going to try and spend time parsing those lyrics and imagine how it sounds, and if they do it's another pull away from immersion because it's a lot of work. So I feel that the current approach to it was unfortunately not very effective. I think it's wise if you go learn more ways to convey what you want and also more ways to write character dialogue and the such.

Reecer: I'll be honest. I really just skimmed through your comic with a flat face throughout. Nothing in it really engaged me much, I didn't chuckle, and none of it looked sexy. I really highly suggest learning anatomy and trying to break the mold of how you currently draw things. Try and draw how other people draw and then try and incorporate cool things into how you draw. I know I'm sounding harsh right now in saying that I felt absolutely nothing from reading this, but it's really how I feel and I would like it if you consider what I've just typed out.

And that's all from me for now. Again, yell at me on the discord if you want.

Astrodile
Artist
icon
99 comments
# 18   Posted: Oct 9 2018, 09:05 AM
hellis: ok i just woke up so my brain is scattered, congrats on turning in 28 pages! but im actually gonna use dechados own crit (hope you dont mind dude!) as an example of the faults within the writing here. i respect you for being proud of your writing here, keep that good feeling and use it as you continue writing, but you cant expect everyone to remember haras BB from /2017/ when reading a comic that's supposed to take place in a very comedic setting such as a sexy royale.  a followup or reference to that past comic is STRONGLY needed. just saying its in "haras very first bb" and expecting me to remember important narrative story bits for hara /exclusively/ here when a reader has been viewing 5+ other swimsuit & talent competition comics? Just give us a panel or two which references his past. even somethin that says "*look at (x) comic for clarification" or something like that, if you dont wanna work another panel in. That's all that's needed.

following through with this, you packed quite a bit of meat in the writing, and im going to honestly say that some of it just passes on too quickly, and is utilized in the wrong setting, that i cannot take the time as a reader to analyze it and sympathize with hara at all like you make the other heros (Swan & ray) do. and i question /why/ they let him off scot free and only /recommend/ jail. they should know what he's done to caleum, that he's stolen parks kaiju blood, it's mentioned WITHIN the comic. he's a unsympathetic murderer through and through, and considering how swans constantly, severely disgusted or short tempered in her comics when having to interact with someone who's clearly a criminal...im just not convinced of the dialogue that occurs by page 25. they should know all too well by now the extent of haras destructive nature. ray had to witness and exterminate it first hand. hara has already long since gone down that path by the decisions /he/ made, yes he had exterior influences (The bullying, etc.) that motivated him, but he should NOT be the one to remind the two heroes "oh no you still should hate me." they should be able to do that on their own.

some extra questions i had throughout: how does hara know zedans "talents" already, whats the extent of that knowledge? just the tattoo abilities? how can he barely trust a complete stranger enough to work under him? why does gray not mind being called charlotte in the beginning even though shes had this whole gist of NOT being charlotte and only gray? why does haras font keep switching back and forth? clicks personality is that of a loudmouth who wants to act like a hero, why doesnt he have stronger reactions to haras antics?

and then the final page. even though this is an interesting change of events, i want to know /clearly/ now what crossed the line for huey to switch sides. theyve murdered and subjugated hundreds to transformation into mini-kaijus, and even /then/ (in the vs. veronica comic) we don't directly get to know what specifically burns the bridge between these two brothers. its all vague to me as a reader, even for someone who literally went through all of the hara & huey comics very recently, when it got to this final twist, i was just like "oh, hueys doing this now." how was he able to get clearance through arena? how was he able to do this without being suspected of betrayal by the rest of the crew? let it be known that im INVESTED in what's going to happen with these two now, but not because im moved in one way or another by the writing here. im interested because im lost and want the clarification.

and i see that you acknowledge that your female anatomy isnt that great, but i want to get it through that your male anatomy also needs improvement too. sometimes they have bellybuttons, sometimes they dont; sometimes they have nipples (that can be far too centered on the pec), sometimes they dont; the scaling of the characters to others can be disproportionate making it look like someone was ctrl+t and shrunk rather then actual being short, and the characters even end up having similar facial structures to eachother in certain panels as well. haras nose even changes throughout the comic.

Desichan
Think Tank
icon
181 comments
# 17   Posted: Oct 9 2018, 03:00 AM
That feel when no Click and Zedan and thus sadness.

Anyway quick disclaimed, Desi don't do the nudity, so i passed on reading Reecer's comic and will not be voting on the match as a whole, but each comic I read was wonderful, and i bet Reecer's was also wonderful.
Honestly overall this tournament is a really fun one, and it makes me happy I'm able to read so many comics

I did however read Shen's cuz sheeeee gave me a censored version! OwO

Shen!


Honestly all the art in this is really solid and so I'mma just point out my personal feelings about the story and what was fun and what not~ My critiques will probably be nitpicks cuz i adore your comic!!

I feel this comic felt like a barrage of skits and jokes throughout some of it, before getting to the plot, and i loved it.
So first off, I'm ngl I'm a little bummed that Click ended up being a judge and not a contestant, cuz I feel he's super cute and would make a great competitor so it saddens me a tad, but this bit is just my personal opinion. SECOND OF ALL I FREAKING LOVE THAT SKIT WITH GRITA, KELLY, and TYIDID(they're totes diff people like obvi)
One thing I wanna note Shen is that you may wanna keep track of the cheeks on your characters, because while its definitely a key feature of your style, at times you pull out the cheek far enough that it creates a bizarre sort of effect to the face. Gray has less of this issue, but in her first two appearances, Swan has this issue very bad. (Hara also has a bit of this issue on page one, and it causes him to look less edgy and rather baby faced in terms of facial proportion. He also looks like a woman in page twelve)
I love all the judge responses a lot, they're great! And you clearly seem to have very good proportions, those manly muscles like... Look very nice to the point even I find them to have a pleasing aesthetic, which CONFUSES ME GREATLY BUT WHAT IM MEANING IS GREAT JOB!

I love how Hara ends up being all evil later tho i kinda got a little lost at the point he started talking to Gray, aha. I also love how we're seeing sad girl Gray!! I wonder why she got called Daisy though, did Zedan really just call her that for cheeriness? I'm very curious! Zedan and Gray talking is cute btw! And great end, Kelly tryna help his pal Tyidid make the most financial gain of the situation. I can get behind that


Mrpr

The lack of backgrounds has an awkward effect of making this comic feel rather lazy, and I would discount this on account of the fact this was an exhausting royale, but of everyone in the royale I feel you are the only person who didn't show signs of exhaustion from what we heard, and lack of backgrounds is at times a trend in your comics. As a result, I won't overlook that this time, and just wanna say I highly suggest working on putting in backgrounds, it can only help to accentuate your work immensely! The places you did put em feel really lazy and so keep an eye on that.

I love the part where Grita gets out her scythe and looks creepy for a moment, that's honestly my favorite part of this comic, really amusing! However... This is immediately followed by Gray, who you draw in a way that I'm sorry to say, does not really work. The bottom lip of her mouth seems to look as though its a giant chin, and those lines on her face don't look like tattoos at all. I feel like they make it look like she has very bizarre cheekbones, and it causes a bit of a confusion in my eyes while trying to read. Your profiles are very uncanny valley as well, I feel like you do much better work on your character quite often than your opponents, I suggest in the future trying to experiment with your plan of how to portray the characters in your style, so you can get it down a bit better in the future.

Looking at your work, the places you put in effort are very identifiable from where you didn't so please keep this in mind and work hard to put more equal effort in things. Note also, the second place Grita's weapon is taken it looks like she's punching the host in the face, it took me awhile to make out what was happening. I really wish we saw more of the other contestants because i feel like Gray is the only one who made much an appearance, but the few others who did interact, in my eyes had a bit more fun interactions than Grita and Gray. Grita's fancy outfit is great btw

As we have it, your plot is basically, Gray starts being a bad word, because she kinda is one, but that feels like the entirety of the plot, until oh yay Gray likes Grita, i guess. Idk, it wasnt the most engaging.

I'm dead, will comment on the other few later today sorry

Dechado
Artist
icon
227 comments
# 16   Posted: Oct 9 2018, 01:02 AM
And i had ray wonder what the big deal was. Not the other way around.
Quote

Yes... That's what I said.

Didn't mean to get under your skin. Will take this into consideration next time I critique your comics.

      Edited Oct 9 2018,  01:03 AM by Dechado

Hellis
Artist
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210 comments
# 15   Posted: Oct 9 2018, 12:44 AM
Hellis: I'm not sure what the point of revealing he has a blue eye was.. Ray Gun treated it like it was a really big deal, so I do hope that can be explained in later comics  (Or maybe it was already, and I didn't see it. Nonetheless, I am sticking to this comic only as a source of information about it) I'll admit it spiked my interest though.
Quote

Ok. Gonna be 100 a percent honest here. But i dont treat my narrative as oneshot or stand alone and peole cririzing story elements as if if my stuff exist in a vacum is always gonna bother the hell out of me.

The blue eye has been shown in haras very first bb where its also clearly shown that as a halfblood his childhood was a living hell. The reveal was building further on that set of narrative ques.

And i had ray wonder what the big deal was. Not the other way around. Althought I suppose I worded that part poorly.

-

On the anatomy I'm with you 100% thou. I did not know how to draw women in bikini, that got painfully obvious for my own self about a page into the comic. But in for a penny, in for a pound.

      Edited Oct 9 2018,  01:02 AM by Hellis

Dechado
Artist
icon
227 comments
# 14   Posted: Oct 8 2018, 10:42 PM
Technicolor-Yawn: Nooooo! I was looking forward to see bunny boy's take on this pageant! XD

Shen: Great comic, the interaction between the characters was really fun to look at. The dialogue was spot on too. Adwell had me laughing whenever he was on screen.
Only nitpick I really have, is all the boys having the exact same body type. I honestly didn't think Zedan would be as ripped as the others.
[EDIT]
Never mind, upon checking Zedan's reference sheet, he is indeed as toned as you depicted him.

MRPR1993: Morbid comic, I liked it. Good use of your character.
I really enjoyed the thickness of your lines. You managed to keep everything lighhearted and interesting enough.
Would have liked to see more interaction between the rest of the characters, as your focus seemed to be in developing the relationship between Gray and Grita.
Good work.

JayKat: I have absolutely no idea where you get the energy to finish all these comics without seeming to take a break. Watch your health over your hobby.
Onto the comic. Round 2 was my favorite. Wheeze...
Swimsuit Round however, I think your anatomy is fantastic, I really do. But you have the problem of giving everyone the same body to everyone, at least on the men's round. Lyric and Kelly were the most enjoyable ones to see, as they were the only ones that stood out.
Fun comic all around, the ending sure was a surprise!

Mister Kent: Looks like you ran out of time. :(
I do like what you managed to show though. It was interesting to see a different approach to this whole thing, stating the story starts after what seems to be a bit of a reckless party haha.

Hellis: I'm not sure what the point of revealing he has a blue eye was.. Ray Gun treated it like it was a really big deal, so I do hope that can be explained in later comics (Or maybe it was already, and I didn't see it. Nonetheless, I am sticking to this comic only as a source of information about it) I'll admit it spiked my interest though.
And I really, really hate to say this, but your anatomy is very wonky. I assumed you'd give yourself time to use references, especially for the swimwear shots. Looking forward to see you improve.

Reecer: I honestly do not understand why you're keen on using the same... I don't even know what they are called, the background of the comic. I understand it is meant to be your signature on your craft, but it is so distracting and doesn't seem to serve a purpose. You could really do your comics without the use of it.
Also be careful when saving your pages, they are huge when uploaded.
I'll give you credit where it is due though, your anatomy improved a lot, and it was pleasant to see the contestant in certain shots.
Who knew Tyidid was so fluffy down there.


      Edited Oct 8 2018,  10:45 PM by Dechado

Astrodile
Artist
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99 comments
# 13   Posted: Oct 8 2018, 01:23 PM
Jaykat: THE HOST IS ADORABLE. LOVE EM'. I like the setting of this whole show, and how in the end, Swan wins by technicality! Out of curiosity, what was page 10 referring to? Is this something new we'll learn, or something from a previous comic that I just gotta check her archives for later? Aside from that, I don't have any actual stuff  to point out with this comic, besides how disproportionate Swans eyes are on page 10 panel 5.

Kent: I imagine the double page posting was just an accident? Either way, without the text bubbles, there's alot left to be desired because the visuals just don't give me enough context for the story at all. Sometimes the pages feels cramped admittedly, because most are headshots. I hope you can submit it in BB form somewhere down the line and if you have the time, because I'd really like to see where this comic would've gone!

Astrodile
Artist
icon
99 comments
# 12   Posted: Oct 8 2018, 01:22 PM
I'll just be posting these as I finish them because I only have 2 braincells, but major props to those who've submitted! I had plenty of fun reading these.

Shen: First off, I really like how Click is actually a host rather then a contestant, and second, this comic got a laugh out of me a coupla' times. I'll try to keep this crit in mind with the fact that you had to do it in short time! I guess I'll start off with writing, because I feel like one of the most important events that happen here, this connection and clash that Hara and Gray has very little context. On a first read I never really read too deeply into it, but now that I'm scouring each page I have questions. How did they meet, when did they if they are familiar with each other on some decent level? Why does Hara want her on his team that badly? Other then that, since you acknowledge that pages were a bit rushed and all, I don't have any other qualms! You gave us a silly comic and it delivers with the humor, the small story bits here and there didn't take away too much from the competitions setting, so I enjoyed it overall.

MrPr: God. Page 12. Greta's face got me there bjdfbgdh. However, I gotta say that this comic definitely feels unfinished. The backgrounds are empty for the most part, there's a whole lotta' large headshots that almost feel like they're only so big as to fill up space and add to the page count, and this honestly feels very...Gray & Greta centric. Which wouldn't be so much of a problem if it weren't for the fact that the rest of the cast don't get the same amount of attention put into Greta's interactions with the others. It didn't even register with me that Gray won at the end(?), which is why she's handing her a bottle of beer and all that, I had to reread this a couple times to get it. Also why does Hara get to keep his sword, which he clearly says is a weapon, while Greta doesn't?
I did like this comic, but overall I feel like more love/attention to the writing & visuals, even just a little bit more in one or two areas, would've improved this comic.

Bobo
Web Dev
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893 comments
# 11   Posted: Oct 8 2018, 04:43 AM
Just a quick note for clarification: The Bent One did upload something, but it just didn't adhere to the minimum requirements for a comic. Ben, I hope you get feeling better soon, and look forward to seeing the BB you submit once you're all healed up!

Hellis
Artist
icon
210 comments
# 10   Posted: Oct 7 2018, 07:00 PM
Submitted. It was a dozey. I ended up getting swamped with other work by the last two weeks, and directed more energies to commissions and getting some recognition. Sorry for the sloppy inkjob i did with a lot of this. But atleast I managed to ink all 28 pages somewhat haha.

The thing is likely riddled with typos but i gotta go pass out now.

      Edited Oct 7 2018,  07:01 PM by Hellis

The Bent One
Artist
icon
564 comments
# 9   Posted: Oct 7 2018, 06:26 PM
I got a few pages submitted. My shoulder is still healing, and I couldn't spend a lot of time drawing. I hope to be able to continue working on this and post it as a BB later.

JCee
Artist
icon
366 comments
# 8   Posted: Oct 6 2018, 01:56 PM
Submitted!

Admittedly, I ended up having to cut/rearrange some parts for time and pacing, went with monochrome, and the story is not really the best but I'm just glad to have it over and done with. Still, it's been a blast working on this and I can't wait to see what everyone else has done ~

      Edited Oct 6 2018,  01:56 PM by JCee

Shen
Global Moderator
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1276 comments
# 7   Posted: Sep 29 2018, 02:02 AM
Finished and uploaded early coz i have to get on a plane, a lot of this deadline was dedicated to webcomics so in order to finish all the pages i sacrificed colour and some pages were a bit rushed, this is very dumb and I had a lot of fun with it hope you like~

The Bent One
Artist
icon
564 comments
# 6   Posted: Sep 23 2018, 07:51 AM
Bad news, everyone. I partially dislocated my shoulder, and I need to keep it immobilized for a few weeks to let it heal. I have my comic scripted and thumbnailed, but I can’t put the time in now to actually finish drawing it. I’ll get something short finished for the deadline, but I need to let my shoulder heal. Sorry to let you guys down.

yarnwitch
Think Tank
icon
277 comments
# 5   Posted: Sep 2 2018, 01:09 PM
DO YOUR BEST EVERYONE!!!!

Hellis
Artist
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210 comments
# 4   Posted: Sep 1 2018, 05:46 AM
BETTER BRING YOUR A GAME BOYS AND GIRLS.

I

Happy August 21st! -Reecer6
Artist
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257 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 31 2018, 11:45 PM
AAAAATTTRRRAAAAACCCCTTTTTIIIIVVVVEEEENNNNNNEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

JCee
Artist
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366 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 31 2018, 10:46 PM
BRING IT ON

Shen
Global Moderator
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1276 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 31 2018, 10:31 PM
IM NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS IM HERE TO WIN

Comic Details -

 
Type: Battle Royale
Drawing Time: 5 weeks
Ended: Oct 14th, 2018
Votes Cast: 17
Page Views: 1865
Winner: JCee
 

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