2016 Invitational: Semifinals / Dawa vs. Colorado

2016 Invitational: Semifinals / Dawa vs. Colorado

2016 Invitational: Semifinals — Dawa vs. Colorado

53.3%
576 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7

Crit level: No preference


by Dumorte

46.7%
505 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6Page 7Page 8Page 9

Crit level: No preference




Critiques & Comments
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Sootball
Artist
28 comments
# 14   Posted: Aug 15 2016, 10:38 AM
Yes, yes bathe me with critiques~

@Kozi- thanks so much!! The drama is just beginning giiirrrllll, you thought Dawa was all laughs welllllll let me tell YOU~

@Shen- yeah, you are exactly right about the first panel in the laat page (as well as the grunts and groans from the previous page). ;D oh, and the copy/paste pose was intentional as sort of a quick joke when Colorado says DATE TIME and later says FOOD TIME in the same fashion. I should have just drawn it both times i guess xD  as for your other critiques , they are def noted! Thanks!

@Petarvee- I hear ya! I just want to say, though, that I can only do so much in the week we're given, I'm getting a little faster since the first round but it's still a struggle  for me, I was working literally up to like 2:59:99 am the night it was due. Lol  i'm also still experimenting with my style/trying to establish a style so that takes me a little time too

Thanks for for taking the time to crtique guys! I really appreciate it

Dumorte
Artist
76 comments
# 13   Posted: Aug 15 2016, 06:42 AM
@Shen thank you! I try to make the chemistry between characters as fluid and realistic as possible. I think that's very important to storytelling. Which is probably why i have the conversations with myself aloud before putting them in the comic to make sure it sounds right, LOL.
Maybe it's just me but I kinda like the clashing soft color with hard black and white. But hey, I'm just starting at all this. You would know better than me if it makes sense or not. lol. 3 words to Greece. JUST BRING IT.

@ Petarvee im glad my comics entertain you! In the end, that's all I care for. For someone to enjoy it in one way or another. And maybe get a laugh here or there. As for the parkour in my comics, none of it has been traced lol. Basically I make the whole drawing of the character doing whatever action and at last minute decide it totally looks cooler all blac/white. haha.
I am indeed experimenting a lot. I'm glad someone was able to point that out. There are so many comic styles out there that I just LOVE and i'm trying to see what I can do to make one of my own! In the end, it's whatever makes Colorado's story be read and enjoyed :)  

petarvee
Artist
83 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 15 2016, 02:10 AM
@Sootball That was pretty cool! I feel like the over-arcing crit I can give is that it feels a bit like you gave "Just enough" in each panel. The backgrounds were just-enough to suggest where they are, the figures were drawn just-enough to convey an action, and the story was just-fun-enough to be entertaining. And while that sounds like a positive thing, at this point, its a bit of a detriment. If you tighten up your linework, your perspective, and your figures, then "just enough" will seem like you've carefully measured out exactly what needs doing in each panel. But for now, the advice is just to go all-out. Decorate tables, do really nice establishing shots, use panels as chances to really nail those hard poses and weird backgrounds. Once you've gotten a handle on going all-out, then you can carefully measure it out.

@DuMorte Man, your comics always sneak up on me and entertain the hell outta me. Something about the goofiness of the plot and the character meshes really well with the seemingly-traced parkour shots and sudden snap-back to the unreferenced headshots. Honestly, there's a lot I *could* say about what can be improved, but I think you're best left to just experiment as much as possible. You've definitely got a super weird, but pretty readable, style going on; and without like, any idea where you've set your sights, it's hard to give proper guidance. Just keep bein the best Colorado you can be.

Shen
Global Moderator
1298 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 14 2016, 07:09 PM
I can't believe nobody suplexed the bear. minus a thousand points XD

DuMorte, you write good character chemistry, and I like the black and white look you were going for. i think the soft shaded water looked a little odd against the stark black and white though, it might have perhaps looked better if you'd drawn the water rather than paint it in. I also agree with Kozi that maybe it could have used a little more show not tell. All that said Colorado is a sweetheart and im gonna break his spine over Greece's knee FITE ME

Soot, you had me at page one when the grooming segment to the tunes of Gwen Stefani turned out to be Colorado XD I also loved the date idea, and how charming you make Colorado! art wise your camera never really varies, i would pull the shots out once in a whole for better scope and to show your environment sometimes... also recycling that one drawing of Colorado in page 2 ad 3 threw me off cuz it was a bit obvious. Im sure the hypersuggestive first panel of the last page was entirely intentional as a setup for your final punchline lol so i can only assume after this they had "we almost died" sex LOL!
Great comics, you two!

Dumorte
Artist
76 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 14 2016, 05:31 PM
@Kozi You are totally right! I really wish i couldve put more into the glass crash and the water flooding in. Alas, my lack of skill and time limit just didnt allow it :( Definitely something I will work in! As for the play by play, I see what you mean. It was intentionally added because I like to show that Colorado is always talking. Non-stop. If not to someone, then to himself. Thinking to himself or even thinking aloud.
I'm glad you like the character's "doesn't take things too serious aspect." It's something I really wanted to show in him. :)

Kozispoon
Global Moderator
1077 comments
# 9   Posted: Aug 14 2016, 03:22 PM
SOOTBALL- yes, yes and even MOAR YES. I am in love with the fact you used Astro Sean's universe altering event to add some action and drama to your battle. The stakes shot up 100 percent and had me on the edge of my seat the moment the vision of danger popped up in Dawa'a head. Seeing her take charge and go into hero mode was not only a nice role reversal (I mean you had a wrestler on your hands that could've easily been the knight in shining armor) quite entertaining to read-also talk about guns on page 6 with her holding onto the telephone pole. Move over, Colorado- there's a new heavyweight in town! You definitely leave your 'ending' open for the next round and tempt us readers to vote for you in order to see how this ends. Honestly, your comic excited me and I think that's a great way to come away from a battle. Nice work!

DUMORTE- I think right off the bat, my first impressions are narration. Lotsa play by play from Colorado which I find odd. Exclaiming the entrance is locked. Telling us he's going to go through a window and its gonna hurt. I mean this is an action man. A guy who brings it in the ring. Why aren't his actions telling the story/his intentions? I don't feel you give your impact moments like Colorado going through the window and the flood waters crashing into the storefront their due. They seem kind of underwhelming when I'm thinking they really should be the spotlight panel on your pages. Though I will be quick to note the Sin City style and even some quotes used therein.
I do like the fact that Colorado is painted as a buffoon. A guy with a charming heart of gold, but a charming buffoon nonetheless. Its not often you see artists just letting their character be imperfect and kinda derpy. Too often people are so focused on making their characters cool or edgy. This was a rather refreshing take to a battle which I appreciate

PyrasTerran
Community Manager
1441 comments
# 8   Posted: Aug 11 2016, 12:43 PM
both of y'all are my recruits and I couldn't be prouder you made it this far, even more so that one of you will make it to the finals! I've been coaching you since the beginning and it's been wonderful seeing you improve and push yourself battle after battle

sootball: your narrative skills are ace and now you want your drawing fundamentals to catch up with it; take more time to practice drawing characters inbetween battles, not just during the drawing period, to help loosen your figures and increase your drawing speed

dumorte: your art's getting better, these are some of the best expressions you've done so far. You have a good eye for comic book layouts, keep studying more black and white artists like frank miller to keep enhancing the silhouette style you're using. For the water look at what sootball did with the rushing waves, with quickly moving water you want the shades to match that speed

both of you, don't let the progress you've made this summer go to waste, you've got tons of untapped potential that's starting to squeak out in the pages you've made for this tournament


Ish
Artist
79 comments
# 7   Posted: Aug 10 2016, 12:18 PM
@Sootball: I really like how you used your colors for each page to settle the mood! Also the whole thing was a... what's the phrase? Double entendre? But it was fun!

@Dumorte: Colorado is such a sweetipie I love him so much! My main problem here was page 8, it was a bit confusing due the inconsistency of the little girl's hair color, but otherwise good job with it!

Dumorte
Artist
76 comments
# 6   Posted: Aug 10 2016, 08:43 AM
Good lord, Sootball! This is phenomenal! You had me in stitches all throughout! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE your comic! Thank you so much!!

Dumorte
Artist
76 comments
# 5   Posted: Aug 9 2016, 09:58 PM
Annnnd with blood sweat and tears, I have submitted.

I want to thank all of you in this tournament for making it so much fun! It was a blast partaking in this!!

I really wish I had one more day. Lol. But then again, don't we aaaalllll.

Good Luck, Sootball! Though you dont need it ;)

Sean
Approval Committee
323 comments
# 4   Posted: Aug 3 2016, 06:58 AM
Pile drive the bear!

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1060 comments
# 3   Posted: Aug 3 2016, 06:23 AM
Fuckin' rad.

Sootball
Artist
28 comments
# 2   Posted: Aug 3 2016, 06:22 AM
Lol stahp!

Good luck, Dumorte <3 I know you'll give me a run for my money, I have no doubt about that

Dumorte
Artist
76 comments
# 1   Posted: Aug 3 2016, 06:10 AM
Welp, this tournament was fun. Byeeeee. Lol

Comic Details -

 
Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 16th, 2016
Votes Cast: 28
Page Views: 851
Winner: Sootball
 

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