Elle vs. Lore Jooss

Elle vs. Lore Jooss

Elle vs. Lore Jooss

217 points
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98 points
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Critiques & Comments
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Approval Committee
# 9   Posted: Oct 22 2012, 12:00 PM
tdk- STAGING! 180 rule, etc. you got dudes on one side that are suddenly on the other, guns pointing every which way, it's crazy man. you definitely need some blacks and/or tones in there as well. they're in a cave, right? because I don't get the feeling of darkness at all. anatomy could use tightening as well. I don't wanna open a can of worms here, but it's pretty clear you have an anime-influenced style. this isn't inherently bad. just please don't fall victim to common anime pitfalls! sidemouth, weird heads, hair, ears, eyes, etc. your necks look skinny sometimes and hands could use some tightening as well. the finished inks look pretty good! though I dunno why a lot of the lines have breaks in them :o

Ten Dead Kings
# 8   Posted: Oct 21 2012, 01:43 AM
No, it broke in half when she got thrown against the cave wall, so now she has a smaller piece.

# 7   Posted: Oct 20 2012, 09:09 PM
Btw, for clarification, Lore did lose her rock, yes? o3o

# 6   Posted: Oct 20 2012, 09:08 PM
My god.
This is absolutely amazing. I couldn't have written it better myself.
Tdk, I think I'm in love with you.

The Bent One
# 5   Posted: Oct 17 2012, 07:04 AM
How many experience points do you get for killing a Lvl 59 Cave Monkey?

I love how Saint Crop is getting more references.

A Bad Idea
# 4   Posted: Oct 15 2012, 03:58 PM
Stek: Better luck next time.

TDK: I'm glad to see Elle back in a rad spec-ops private military story again, rather than Memeland. The story was functional, and there was enough interplay between the two plots (Lore's excavation part and Elle's unit) that gave each fighter their importance. Artwise you could do a bit more tightening on some of those shots, especially where you try to establish light and dark spots, as well as more defined environments, but I think you know most of this anyway. What I AM going to grill you for, however, is a handful of "stock phrases" that you dropped in certain places. Stuff like "I don't think we're alone", or "This day just keeps getting better and better", or "It's gonna be a long day". I think those lines could be characterized a bit more, rather than simply falling back on them for the rather simple exposition that they provide. Not saying that stock phrases are completely forbidden, but you should use them sparingly, and only when it's the most optimal way to express an idea.

Ten Dead Kings
# 3   Posted: Oct 13 2012, 09:54 PM

Dude, don't worry about it. I got sidelined by real-life too, so this one doesn't look as good as I wanted it to be (see: last two pages).

# 2   Posted: Oct 13 2012, 01:47 PM
Ugh. I've done it again.

Sorry guys, but I suck. I really do. I might have been able to pull it off if all the times I wasn't distracted by random crap I wasn't working, but life sucks and I suck and I'm sorry.

Tdkgunghoul, I owe you something. ANYTHING would have been better than the crap I've got today.
Sorry to have wasted your time, man :/
Gonna draw Elle properly for you (ie, not in my sketchy horribleness)

Cracking Skulls
# 1   Posted: Oct 1 2012, 05:03 PM
yes yes YEEESSS

Good luck you two!

Comic Details -

Drawing Time: 2 weeks
Ended: Oct 22nd, 2012
Votes Cast: 13
Page Views: 771
Winner: Ten Dead Kings

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