VOID Invitational OCT Round 3 Late Entry / Bhindi

VOID Invitational OCT Round 3 Late Entry / Bhindi

VOID Invitational OCT Round 3 Late Entry — Bhindi

Icon for Bhindi
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Critiques & Comments
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bl00chikin
Artist
54 comments
# 13   Posted: May 20 2012, 08:52 PM
Omg the style in this was adorable! Simple and clean. Nice.
I would have to agree with Thresher on a few points, like more detail in the backgrounds and your impact pacing, but I love your construction of the pages, especially the part where Emilia gets drunk! Great job!

Mister Kent
Artist
951 comments
# 12   Posted: May 20 2012, 05:28 PM
The lines were clean and simple, which I liked--especially the first and last page. It got a little sketchy towards the middle, which is understandable for charcoal, but I'd like to see strong lines throughout. But really entertaining story as always and I can't wait to see more!

Thresher
Artist
166 comments
# 11   Posted: May 19 2012, 09:54 AM
Nine you really can use charcoal's pretty well! I wouldn't have noticed they were even the medium if you had not informed me otherwise.

Your backgrounds and settings are a bit simplistic, I'd have liked to see more detail personally but you can only do so much in a week.
Your expressions are adorable and awesome. You've got some nice body language to back it up too, but I think you could maybe push it a bit more.

Some panels are very empty, like the one with Azelle's eyes. The part where she catches littlest Emberheart is also lacking in impact and clarity, you could have made it into one solid shot if Azelle had been introduced earlier.

Story wise, I love the new sasier Bhindi. "FOUR ARMS!" is the best reasons to do anything ever. On the other hand I can't help but feel that there are laws against child labour :p

I think you have too much white space on that angry Mamabear shot, space that could have been used better to get the situation across. The dramatic "WAIT STOP" where you have the characters reacting is also missing Mamabear, which is disconnective with the next page where her reaction is the focus. I'd've rathered you had her in there instead of Con.

I think the shades at the end were a bit much, just the brofist woulda been cool.

ANYWAY SOLID WORK!

Get out there and do some more battling.

slothvert
Artist
71 comments
# 10   Posted: May 18 2012, 04:20 PM
Is that store owner conartist? Haha... Morrow didn't get a cameo, so you drew con?

I really, really loved this. The pacing and panelling were both really great, and the style is just fantastic. I'm still pretty bummed about you not being able to submit this for the tourney, but really happy that you posted it regardless!

Fed
Artist
162 comments
# 9   Posted: May 17 2012, 01:16 PM
I love your values - the way you create depth by using various shade of black and grey.. lovely. Also Bhindi is waaay too cute a character - and yes, she is perfect as a waiter (or maybe a hairdresser?) Good thing we all got to see it :)

Shen
Artist
1321 comments
# 8   Posted: May 17 2012, 01:00 AM
the last panel had sunglasses and fistbump therefore you win.

TINMAN
Artist
140 comments
# 7   Posted: May 17 2012, 12:04 AM
I love the hand made quality of your work, its very expressive and loaded with charm and character. You took an unusual route for a three way battle and it paid off. As minimal as the pages are you packed a nice little tale in that I think would have made a fine contender in the tourney. Props for sharing it with us all in the aftermath.

Albino Turtle
Artist
21 comments
# 6   Posted: May 15 2012, 12:20 AM
Kura X: I was getting a little annoyed that every bhindi comic so far was a "cheer up bhindi"-comic and I am SO glad this is not one of them.
Quote

Well sorry for being annoying! >:T

Nine! i know i already said this but...
I LOVE IT!~<3

Minteh
Artist
252 comments
# 5   Posted: May 14 2012, 05:39 PM
man, the personality of your pencils speaks volumes.  This such a great cute comic.

Kinu
Artist
150 comments
# 4   Posted: May 14 2012, 09:45 AM
I like this one too. I dunno what it is, but you're even able to pull off pencil work really well. Sheesh xD

My only real complaint is in some panels, you should eliminate some negative space by enlarging the content within your panels. For instance, in page 4, the first panel. If those eyes were bigger, it would have more impact, but since they're small and placed dead center, the effect you were going for is lost. I saw what you were trying to do though, so it's alright. (Another one was the last panel on page 5. You could have enlarged them, or tried another way to lay them out in the panel)

Regardless, I gave you all nines. (Haha, Ninemafia) It sucks that you couldn't upload in time, but you still win my respect for uploading anyway. Good for you. Just don't leave us!

Majikura
Artist
469 comments
# 3   Posted: May 14 2012, 09:45 AM
I was getting a little annoyed that every bhindi comic so far was a "cheer up bhindi"-comic and I am SO glad this is not one of them.  If this were uploaded for the tournament I woulda voted for you.

Gibbo
Artist
82 comments
# 2   Posted: May 14 2012, 07:44 AM
Hehe this was great, I thought there was going to be a show-down but you diffused the situation with an interesting approach of mistaken identity. I would've also kicked 'em out (if I was the barman), the troublesome lot  XD

AxeLord
Artist
30 comments
# 1   Posted: May 14 2012, 06:32 AM
GFWAH-HAHA that was awesome. Shiva *wipes tear from eye* thats priceless. This was really cute, and a shame you weren't able to refine it as with your previous rounds.

Shades and knuckle bump lol. AAAAAAH YEEEEEEEAAAH!

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: May 20th, 2012
Votes Cast: 30
Page Views: 897
 

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