Tobias vs. Chia-Hui

Tobias vs. Chia-Hui

Tobias vs. Chia-Hui

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by carlito

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Shojin
Artist
92 comments
# 22   Posted: May 6 2011, 12:25 PM
Chia-hui seems unusually calm for finding out all these shocking things.  I mean he just woke up out of a coma and finds out his brother tried to kill him.  Whether or not he knew his brother hated him.  I mean Lau took it to the next step and made an attempt to kill Chia-hui.  I would think that would be a huge shock, but it feels like in here Lau trying to kill Chia is something normal.

Also I would think finding out your brother has been posed as you for god knows how long while you were out wreaking havoc in your name would be a big shock as well.  Though you expressed some of his incredulity via his speech/text, I feel like it's not really enough to express the emotion.  Gestures/body language can do so much to convey emotion, but you're not using it, at least more definitive or exaggerated facial expressions would help.  Is Chia confused? angry?

And what about Tobias?  How does he know that Chia has a twin that has been posing as Chia and has a kid with Patent.  I thought knowledge of Lau's existence was limited and for the most part anyway he's posing as Chia, what would question them to think that Lau isn't Chia-Hui.  Is Tobias some kind of spy or stalker or messenger, what is his exact relation to the group?  If a stranger comes up to you and tells you your brother is posing as you and has a kid and the mother thinks it's yours, would you believe it right away?  It feels like Tobias was thrown in there.

JoshuaEliGilley
Artist
462 comments
# 21   Posted: May 6 2011, 09:37 AM
Hey Carlito, it was a decent little comic, I think you still need more contrast in line-weight on your inks, for example the panel where Tobias is swooping in, the BG lines clash with the lines on the Character supremely. If you are using brush Pen for characters/foreground, maybe stick to smaller tech pens/microns for BGs.

I didn't think Tekka stabbed Chia, but that's prob. cause I remember that event from your past comics, i thought it was a cool flashback, but the sudden realization that Chia had felt forced, like, "oh yeah, I remember all this stuff now!" could've been spread out more, def. improvements in your lettering.

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 20   Posted: May 6 2011, 06:25 AM
For my Tommy fight I did all single panel pages, I'm thinking now you're gonna say it isn't a comic because it doesn't have panels and all the pages are covers.
I'm DONE with this argument man. You can PM me if you REALLY feel the need to.

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 19   Posted: May 6 2011, 06:13 AM
I met the three page limit set. There's no RULE against covers, splash pages, etc. Contributing to the page count, believe me now that you brought it up I looked!
You linked me to a COMMENT. A comment  I made, not a RULE. And the comment was about putting 5 pages on a 10 page limit and still winning or just uploading 1 page and it still goes up, not the rule I am this huge hypocrite for breaking. It was a 3 page page limit, I DREW 3 pages! The first page taking the longest to do anyway btw.

You want me to follow UNWRITTEN rules when other artists don't even need to follow the WRITTEN ones?!
The Scar match it's the VERY FIRST RULE dude.
 

 

Kuro
Artist
581 comments
# 18   Posted: May 6 2011, 05:13 AM
Pretty sure  by your own words:
Carlito: not finishing a battle with 3 page limit
Quote
as you said in http://entervoid.com/board/index.php?topic=11551.msg200273#msg200273

You only have 2 pages of actual sequentials here. The other one's got no bearing on the story. If the powers at be were as stringent as you're telling them to be & follow every rule to the letter, this would've probably been considered a double default. At best, even if it's 2 pages & a splash you're arguing it is, it's still a lazy effort for a 3 page quota.

My main point however is don't be so quick to holler & jump & down over the rules if you're paying them no mind either.

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 17   Posted: May 5 2011, 07:52 PM
There was some good advice in there, thanks man.

Cherubas
Artist
175 comments
# 16   Posted: May 5 2011, 05:27 PM
Chao, you know what you did. Go to your room.

Carlito, I like what's here, but here are a few things I think you could improve on. Your first page seems like a really big set up for such a little comic. It has a big epic feel to it, which would be nice in front of even a 10 page comic, or if it was "PART 1 OF 3" or something, but considering what follows it's a bit of a let down. I understand you were working on at least two comics, but in my opinion it would be better to work on fewer of better quality, know what I mean? Your backgrounds are a little lax. I realize I'm the poster child for sucky backgrounds, but I noticed that the panels you used to set the location could use more detail, and the third page is devoid of any background whatsoever as far as I can tell. You should try to reinforce the background at least once or twice per page.

Another thing that I feel would help your work would be a change of perspective. You did a few things with angles on the second page that were nice, but by the third page you seemed to have given up on it. Everyone seems to be at roughly the same angle, the same distance from the camera. You should mix it up just for the hell of it. It will subconsciously keep the viewer entertained and maybe give you a good time goofing around with perspective too. :)

Also, the sudden stabbing at the end of page two should be explained a bit more, even if it's just a small "reaction face" frame of chia at the start of page 3. I'm sure it ties into a past event in one of your comics, in fact I don't doubt that there are people out there that understood what it meant as soon as they saw it, but you have to keep in mind that many people on this site read a lot of different comics and, unfortunately, may get storylines crossed or forget some completely, so you might need to balance storyflow with recap so that each issue is a little more "new reader friendly" than what a published comic author would need to. Capice?

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 15   Posted: May 5 2011, 09:49 AM
Where's the rule I broke? Link me to it please. I can't find it.

Kuro
Artist
581 comments
# 14   Posted: May 5 2011, 08:53 AM
You'd also know that Jack Kirby did those for a reason. First page splashes end up being part of the story. They set the scene & fit into the greater sequence because they set the story in motion.

But the page in question has no story to it. You're showing hero/bust shots of three characters with titles around them. There's no story information at all to it as nothing's unfolding, no one's interacting, a location's not even being established. It reads like a title. Or a cover. Not as part of the story. You could totally remove that page entirely, & intrinsically, it has no effect on the rest of the story.

Even if there's story somehow connected in this "splash" of yours, it's a cop out to drop in a comic you know will only reach three page comic really. It also makes everything horribly lopsided given the events page to page & demonstrates bad pacing.

Now I don't really care to get into a semantic debate over what constitutes a splash or three page comic around here. But you go on these fervent tirades because you feel spurned when people don't meet the rule requirements. If everyone's going to adhere to the rules so strictly for you, why can't you give us more than 2 pages & a cover ("splash" if i'm being generous, but I still don't see story unfolding no matter how hard I look) for a 3 page minimum comic? Lead by example rather than skirt with hypocrisy. That's all.

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 13   Posted: May 5 2011, 08:00 AM
Splash pages are still pages, so I disagree with you. It's not a cover it's a page. It even has panels. (which typically splash pages don't but I was trying different stuff)
My first layout of it had different things going on in each panel of the star, but I changed the art in the panels.

Jack Kirby used to start pretty much EVERY comic with a splash page and it was still a page. I'm not Jack Kirby, but I'm not sure why I can't do it too? If it's because you like to give me crap about everything I do, that's not really a good enough reason to me... How this is the same as doing a scar match with no scar to the opponent I have no idea?
AND I didn't win that fight OR that argument anyway so...

Kuro
Artist
581 comments
# 12   Posted: May 5 2011, 07:19 AM
Know you get pissed when you think someone doesn't follow the rules on the site, carlito, but this is only 2 actual pages of comic, not 3. Covers are just garnish. You know, it's fine because it got posted, but ultimately, if you're going to take the same shortcuts you complain about other people taking, you have no room to keep complaining about them. Would've made sense to at least extend it another page or two, especially considering the amount of text spewed out by the talking heads on that last proper page. The pacing's all ridiculously off kilter & the impact's lost because it feels more like you're just trying to shoehorn all that info onto a page rather than tell a story.

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 11   Posted: May 1 2011, 06:45 AM
Thanks a lot for the crit Rtv, that Lau and Tekka looking alike thing REALLY bugs me now haha I didn't even notice when I was drawing it now it's just blatantly obvious to me! I'll have to keep an eye out for stuff like that in the future.
Doing more then one battle at a time doesn't typically bother me cause I plan them all as 1 weekers then work on them for only 1 week regardless of the deadline being 3 weeks or whatever... Then I can try to get a opponent and not worry about when they say yes or no and accept or don't when sending out challenges to more then one person at a time because getting someone to fight you at the exact time you're available to fight can be hard! Sometimes you can end up chasing a dream for months! thinking it's gonna happen any second and it never does... Then that's time wasted, so I try to keep my stuff quick and myself open. But I know what you mean about drawing slow and more time helping the art, with more time on one battle alone I tend to procrastinate the time away anyway so that's why I try to stick to a week or two at most on one fight.
The hitman and Tommy battles are just little self contained stories, one offs kinda, then I'll go back to this story in you's & mime. I'm nervous/excited about starting ours... Your action scenes invite and intimidate me at the same time and I MAY try to compete with you on em... But maybe not haha.    

Rtv!
Artist
603 comments
# 10   Posted: May 1 2011, 04:42 AM
Very interesting story, werther yer a follower or just jump into it. I got it.
i am aware of the history that caused your ability to draw gain a minor setback. Still massive respect for still pushing on.

I do think you should take the time artwise. Accepting more than one battle (and not to mention you also have a life outside this hostile matrix) can reduce time and time is quality. At least to me it is. I draw slow as shit, hence my stuff is rarely finished. I also advise you to save extensions till the last possible moment and pretend you don't have it. That way it's more of a relief you can work on it.

Just some reccomendations. Even though it is not the your best, i am impressed with how you instantly captured interest in the story in just 3/4 pages. I too thought Tekka stabbed Chia-Hui. A good way to differentiate a scene like that in only 2 panels is by accent. (diff coulour, blur, gray, haze etc... anything will do) I personally would use a different panel, wide horizontal ones seem to work. Or if you left Tekka out, it would be clear instantly.

Not really my thing to bitch about minor stuff as styles, speed, beliefs, motivation, skill and opinions differ.
I'm interested to see where this story goes, which will be in 17 days if i read correctly. While i secretly hope i get to read more in your Hitman battle.

-----

Chao-One - i don't know what happened, but if anyone from the stone age of Void is reading this...don't ever give me cock shit about my past defaults again. This is a new record and a default shouldn't even matter with the ever changing audience.
Hope you still rockin' art outside Void. Labeling yourself a procrastinator and actually back it up fukks up yer credibility. But like i said, it doesn't really matter. it's only Void ;)

I sound contradicting, but i can afford it. I am Rtv, it is my job not to make sence.

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 9   Posted: Apr 30 2011, 09:53 AM
Thanks for the feedback Le Fred, man I REALLY liked the art as I was doing it! but reading your crit I can see how the last page got a little
 boring... Maybe it was messing around with the bruch pen and trying different stuff inking wise that made this battle so fun for me and then
I thought the art was better? I'll definitely keep everything you said in mind, I wanna make comics that people like. I have a hard time figuring out what people want to see from me though...  Except maybe humor maybe, and that's not always easy for me to do.

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
475 comments
# 8   Posted: Apr 30 2011, 09:37 AM
Meh, art wise, your previous battles with Copper Mouth and Will were much better, in my oppinion. The last two panel of page 2 are kinda confusing, I thought tekka was killing chia-hui, at first. Then I started wondering if Lau had morphing powers... The next page is pretty cramped and boring to look at.
The dialogue was ackward and seemed all rushed in together and it was basically a two page recap with a fancy cover page, which is pretty boring.
I usually really like your stuff, but this one was honestly not  up to par.

Although hey, still better than your opponent's entry!

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 7   Posted: Apr 30 2011, 09:31 AM
No worries, if there's ever a ginormous delay definitely hit me up since I hate forgetting a comic is going up haha

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 6   Posted: Apr 30 2011, 09:11 AM
No problem. Thanks for putting it up Angie.
I wasn't really early, I uploaded the day of, but I was worried maybe my pages didn't work or something... Glad it all worked out. Sucks Chao didn't finish though, maybe we can re-match. Your dude is fun to draw.  

Angie
Council
1937 comments
# 5   Posted: Apr 30 2011, 08:24 AM
Sorry, I had a rush color job and have literally been working non stop between my day job and coloring for the past 3 days, I thought this still had a few days on it. Since Chao never uploaded anything I never got a second reminder that this went up because you'd uploaded early.

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 4   Posted: Apr 29 2011, 06:24 PM
Whoa. This still ain't up?

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 3   Posted: Apr 28 2011, 07:25 PM
UPLOADED.
I know it reads kinda quickly, but I worked really hard on it and think it's one of my best Void comics (art wise) so far... Thanks for reading, got to get to work on my others ones now!

Looking forward to yours Chao!

carlito
Artist
375 comments
# 2   Posted: Apr 14 2011, 12:17 PM
This is gonna have a cliffhanger. Sorry to all the people that hate cliffhangers.

E.W. Schneider
Artist
1057 comments
# 1   Posted: Apr 9 2011, 07:22 PM
Righteous, good luck you two.

Comic Details -

 
Drawing Time: 3 weeks
Ended: May 6th, 2011
Votes Cast: 21
Page Views: 1082
Winner: carlito
 

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