Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 2 / Salvatore Galactore vs. Beef

Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 2 / Salvatore Galactore vs. Beef

Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 2 — Salvatore Galactore vs. Beef

868 points
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Crit level: No preference

by otamie

726 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: No preference

Critiques & Comments
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# 27   Posted: Aug 22 2010, 06:47 PM
Jim, I'm starting to get the feeling you can make any situation hilarious in a comic.  You made both of the characters true to their personalities which is always a plus. However, at some points it seemed like the anatomy was a bit off or it was just rushed.

Otamie, your entry was good and unquestioningly funny, but it ended a little too quick for my tastes.  It also seemed like the characters' poses were too stiff for the actual situation.  But that aside, it was an enjoyable read!

# 26   Posted: Aug 22 2010, 09:08 AM
Jim, Sorry, I wanted to get you comic in the first round & saved it to be one of the last I read. But I didn't get a chance to weigh in before voting ended. Anyway, with this one the layouts are kind of weak. There are more than wide angle panels. They typically give a sense of calm, so if your whole story has panels that are framed calm & same-y, it gets a little monotonous. Other times, with like the kiss on the cheek bit, i didn't really get why the two were inset into the other when there was so much empty space down & around the bottom. Definitely look at the layouts & pay attention to pacing in other comics.
Also, at points, there's really a sense that you drew the panels first & then squeezed the characters into them to fit. Reverse that. Get an idea of where the panels borders are, fine. But draw the figure, & base the composition around them, rather than trying to shoehorn.

Otamie, your backgrounds need a lot of work. Just because you've got some diagonal lines doesn't mean it's following perspective. And when things are flat it looks really bland. Especially since it really just felt like line tool since there wasn't any detail to the buildings. Up your game in that regard next time. Also, the poses seem generic too. Last time they had a flow & it felt like weight to them. In this one, like when sal dives out the window, it's really stiff & the body itself doesn't give a great sense of movement. Also, wouldn't your character be flapping in the opposite direction if a force is hitting him from that side? Those are things to watch out & work on.

# 25   Posted: Aug 20 2010, 04:46 PM
fun stuff you two, I liked both story lines from both. Creative, quick to get, and rather entertaining. Keep up the good work.

# 24   Posted: Aug 19 2010, 09:41 PM
lol, I really loved both of your comics.  Though I feel like Otamie's side ended a little too quick for my liking.  Good job both of you. :D  I hope to see more from you both.

Fred v2.0.1
# 23   Posted: Aug 19 2010, 04:51 PM
I dont know what to say except I didnt feel let down by my most anticipated matchup of this round.

# 22   Posted: Aug 18 2010, 04:58 AM
@Phillip C:
Phil, your comments are always well written and very constructive, I appreciate your time spent commenting and i hope others do too. You are correct in your assumption of rushing on my part, every visual aspect of my comic could have been improved if more time was dedicated to it, I really do need to get better at my planning phase. I'm also very glad you're enjoying my writing so much, I hope that it continues to interest you.

Yes, i did use the pencil tool for the lines. I did so for my previous entry as well, but I think it showed up a lot more pixelated here because I worked in a smaller resolution (a mistake not to be repeated). I use the pencil tool because it makes the colouring and shading phase a lot faster, as a part of a method I discovered in a youtube tutorial. Glad you liked the story, your love is much appreciated.

@Dan Jensen:
That could be an interesting fight :D
Glad you enjoyed the comic, I will continue to make better ones!

Glad you think so, he was fun to write for and quite a lot of fun to draw, too! The battle is not over yet, my friend. Whether you win or lose, I would love to see more of Beef around this here website. He's a character that's too fun to let disappear into obscurity.

# 21   Posted: Aug 18 2010, 03:03 AM
Thanks for all the crits you guys. I will definitely practice on my anatomy and building "love" XD

@ JimValid: you captured beef perfect! Your gonna take this win and you have earned it. Well done man!

# 20   Posted: Aug 17 2010, 07:33 AM
Jim - Sal is awesome.  I will fight him.  Comic good, nice colors, linework a little rushed, but good.  Sorry, not to much to say, just pleased!

Otamie - Good.  I wanna echo William Duel's feelings about the anatomy.  The problem with that shot of him jumping out the window is that his line of action is a straight, vertical line.  Making a hulk of a man really dynamic is tough since muscles understandably restrict movement, so in this case I would have tilted Sal's figure to give him a greater sense of movement.  Tilt him forward, putting the force behind his shoulder, or back, putting it behind his knee.  This is the crucial moment in the comic, it's gotta have PUNCH!

# 19   Posted: Aug 17 2010, 03:20 AM
Jim, did you use the pencil tool instead of a brush? I like it but the inks seem a little sharp. It kind of counteracts the roundness of the characters. The story, however, was incredibly entertaining. Love all the way.

Otamie, I'm not sure hwo to feel about this one. It looks like you had Salvatore get crushed and die. Still, quite fun, though. Nice inclusion of other invitational characters, too.

# 18   Posted: Aug 16 2010, 01:28 PM
Not bad you two. But here comes the hard ass!

Jim: Awesome work, I really think that you along with Heyzoos are amongst the top contenders for this tournament! Now, the comic's quality was a lot better this time around, but it was kinda pixilated, and the backgrounds seemed to have faded into nothing towards the end, which tells me you had to rush this comic. Plan this shit out in advance dude otherwise you're going to regret it in the end. The story... OK, I liked it, I liked it a lot. I'm a sucker for cartoony stuff like this especially when it takes something I'd normally see on void and twists it around at the last minute. Vote went for you, but try to push yourself further on the art department.

Otamie: Not bad, the backgrounds are really weaksauce, try to get some building references of various locations and whatnot, it'll really help you to understand how buildings work and how to really detail your panels. Your anatomy also needs some work, life studies would help, but try to look at places like to get your sketching on, it'll really help you in the long run. Story was pretty good, wish you could of used Sal a bit more, but you did do a good job with his character.

Vote went to Jim on this one.

# 17   Posted: Aug 16 2010, 08:04 AM
Yeah digitalstrip is a pretty good overall comic font, that's what I use

# 16   Posted: Aug 16 2010, 03:41 AM
Glad you liked it :D

Glad you like the humor and ethnic eccentricities, man. I have an italian background so i'm basically just writing what i know from observing my legion of relatives XD
You're very right about my line-art and anatomy, I have much work to do. I probably could have done better with more time, but I didn't want to default, so i just made what i could in the time i had.

The art did take a bit of a nosedive this time around, you are correct. Again, i blame time constraints as well as a need for more practice on my part.
As for the font, it's just 'digitalstrip', but perhaps i do need a more bouncy font to use when doing more whimsical stuff like this. Though i think digitalstrip would work for more actiony-type comics with Salvo. I plan to do more with Salvo in the future than just funny little misadventures ;3

# 15   Posted: Aug 16 2010, 03:26 AM
Otamie, you portrayed Salvo brilliantly! I love you, man.

The commentors have a good point on our respective grasps of anatomy, we need to practice practice practice.

# 14   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 11:00 PM
The shirt ripping off at the end made my day. I was waiting for that to happen XD

Community Manager
# 13   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 10:58 PM
JimValid, I'm jealous, your character comes out as more genuinely Italian than mine.  Though your quirks are more tongue in cheek I'd say but I'd say that's the sign of good writing.  I'd say the quality of the lines suffers at time though but that could be fixed up in PS.  But to help you before that process it might be better to make thicker lines where appropriate.  It would probably really bring out your work more.
This tutorial should explain that a bit more and why line width is cool.
This one is Angie's infamous guide for coloring which should help you with your shading.
Whenever you work in Photoshop or similar programs make sure to start out big with high resolution (numbers vary but I like to start out at 600) and a large width and height.  Then as you resize it to normal proportions (you can lower the resolution a bit too) your lines will look crisper and better.  I'd also say start working in those anatomy studies because Mr. Galactore sometimes looks really small at times and other times his shoulders seem disconnected.  Work from reference and it will benefit you.  Otherwise this was a genuinely entertaining story and really cements Galactore as one of my favorites in this tourney.  

Otamie, your depiction of Galactore is spot on, because you both have the same anatomical weakness.  So I give the same advice, work in some anatomy studies and references.  It's an oft used advice around here and some people complain about it, but it's true and needs repetition.  The setup of your story was not bad and the reference to Pico vs. R was interesting and fun to add in.  Let's look at page five though, Galactore jump out of that window is honestly not all that interesting. There should be more glass everywhere, if he's being cut, his clothes should be more shredded.  The scene lacks dynamism and there's no easy way for that except to draw interesting angles and practice.  That building too, looks like you used tools in an art program to make it.  The building lacks love, there's no variation to the design or anything that would make that an interesting building.  Subsequents scenes are well done though.  Play around with line widths if you'd like and I say this because you seem comfortable with your line widths although there's not much in the way of variation.  So that's up to you though play around and see what you think.  A bittersweet ending.

Good job to the both of you.

# 12   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 10:48 PM
Both comics had me laughing, good job guys :)

# 11   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 10:45 PM
JimValid-I'm really loving all the bizarre scenarios you're showing! So far your comics have been very fun and entertaining reads! I feel like the quality of the art went down on this round though, your last comic felt more polished. One thing to also be careful of is your text. Now in your last comic the text was really tiny and while this comic is an improvement, I feel like the font is very stiff and not the easiest to read. It's especially odd to see such technical looking text for a more vibrant and cartoony style.

Otami-This was a fun little comic and I enjoyed the simple story. One thing to watch out for is to try not to draw buildings all looking the same. The box overload was a little crazy between the boxes for the buildings themselves and the windows.

# 10   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 11:57 AM
And i can't wait to read your comic JimValid ;)

# 9   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 11:40 AM
Uploaded and sent the thumbnails. Would have liked to have spent more time on the colouring and backgrounds of the last few pages, but i just simply don't have the time for it. I need to get better at managing my time.

Hope everyone will like it, and I eagerly await seeing Otamie's entry :D

# 8   Posted: Aug 15 2010, 08:04 AM
OK i uploaded the comic and mailed the thumbs for angie!All should be good now ;)

# 7   Posted: Aug 14 2010, 10:12 AM
Manly battle?

# 6   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 08:39 PM
I'm up against Beef? As in, THE Beef!?

I am honoured, sir. Man, this is going to be tense, I hope i can come up with a cool script this time around. I MUST top the polite fight!

Best wishes to you Otamie, I honestly can't wait to see your submission!

# 5   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 05:41 PM
Aw snap, this is gonna be a good fight!

# 4   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 01:58 PM
Ha ha i love the way you think Cherubas XD And your right. His polite fight is down for the count! I already have a good script.

# 3   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 08:59 AM
Hang in there Otamie, most of our ratings are based on just one comic. So if the comic you make this round is better than the one you made last round maybe you'll be a B artist in round 3. 2/3rds of the scoring is just creative writing. I'm sure you'll do fine. I do gotta admit though, Jim was on my secret list of artists I didn't want to be paired up with yet. Polite fight can't be used two comics in a row though! Hit him while his best move is on cooldown!

# 2   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 07:33 AM
C artist VS B artist... Man i get the feeling i won't be seeing round 3. But I'm not giving up >8D

# 1   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 05:21 AM
Dohoho, I like this.  This is gonna be good.  GL you two!

Comic Details -

Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 22nd, 2010
Votes Cast: 38
Page Views: 1424
Winner: JimValid

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