Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 1 / Veronika Roch vs. Dreadnought

Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 1 / Veronika Roch vs. Dreadnought

Invitational Tournament 2010: Round 1 — Veronika Roch vs. Dreadnought

by Sirius

54.3%
750 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4Page 5Page 6

Crit level: No preference

by Enaxon

45.7%
631 points
Page 1Page 2Page 3Page 4

Crit level: No preference



Critiques & Comments
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Enaxon
Artist
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27 comments
# 25   Posted: Aug 9 2010, 01:52 AM
Congrats Sirius. :) good luck in round 2! Kick some ass

Kuro
Artist
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581 comments
# 24   Posted: Aug 4 2010, 11:28 AM
It might sound ridiculous, but you know I use? Ikea has this cutting board called Magasin (or something). Although the corners on it are rounded, it's 11x17 or tabloid size, so it fits most comic drawing paper & it's easy to cart around in like a laptop bag. And it's like $4. Just invest in some bulldog clips of scotch tape & lean it against the flat table & you're ready to rock!

Sirius
Artist
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35 comments
# 23   Posted: Aug 4 2010, 10:43 AM
Kuro, that's VERY interesting.  It's something I'm going to consider more from now on.  I know what you mean, and I think I can improve that on my next comic.  Also, I draw on a small computer desk, completely flat 100% of the time.  My drawing teacher actually said something like you did just now:  Elevating the picture slightly when drawing gives you a better sense of depth and relationship between objects.  I'll definitely consider buying a drawing board some time soon, but I'm low on money recently.  Thanks for the crit tho, man. :)

Enaxon
Artist
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27 comments
# 22   Posted: Aug 4 2010, 09:02 AM
All these crits have been substantially helpful, I really appreciate it everyone :) I'm not sure how I wanna approach doing a better comic (another battle or a BB). But I'll sink into study mode (as well as finish some commissions D:) so I can deliver a better comic with better art

Again, thanks everyone!

Kuro
Artist
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581 comments
# 21   Posted: Aug 4 2010, 07:18 AM
Sirius, some of the better stuff I've seen from you. I think my biggest issue was the fact that you're letting layout control story instead of story controlling layout. You've got cavernous gutters going on & loads of really tight panels that don't do a lot to move the story along. Also, do you draw on a flat surface? A lot of your figures seem compressed, like squished vertically sometimes. If you're drawing on a flat service & sitting back from it a little bit, perspective will trick your eye & give the art that squished look when you're done. Look at elevating your drawing surface, with like a drawing board or a tilted table.

Enaxon, same deal with the layouts I was telling Sirius. Probably more so with yours actually. It's like you draw the layouts with all these small tight panels but huge gutters & try to fit the actions into them. This is backwards. Draw your comic according to the story. Give the important & action scenes room to breathe. That way, you won't draw the figures so stubby & dwarf like in an attempt to make them fit. Also look at varying up your angles some.

Sirius
Artist
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35 comments
# 20   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 08:00 PM
I'm going to make my next comic a shit-ton better than this one.  I'm not even going to bother with excuses, just laying this on the table.  I'm working on my poses...But I want to know what's wrong with the general anatomy.  I understand some panels had awkward looking hands/fingers/feet...But I need to better understand what else is wrong...I need a more detailed crit please. : )

Phill
Artist
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895 comments
# 19   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 05:45 PM
Not bad, can't really chose between the two of you.

Sirrus: Figures are a bit stiff, don't be afraid to play around with poses and whatnot, backgrounds are major weaksauce though.

Enaxon: Pretty good comic, too much negative space between panels, if you could fill that up then you'd be a real contender.

Blackkrystal
Artist
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37 comments
# 18   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 04:38 PM
Sirius, not much I can say that anyone else hasn't. Kinda stiff poses and a bit hard to follow in places, but was nice to see some tones to break up the white.

Enaxon, it's such a shame you were rushed over this, the first couple of old pages looked tons better D: Woulda been nice to see some tones to separate the backgrounds and bit but otherwise it was a nice read. Hopefully will see you at the next round to see what you can really do!

Fred v2.0.1
Artist
icon
475 comments
# 17   Posted: Aug 2 2010, 08:49 AM
Sirius, the flow of the dialogs is a bit ackward and the poses stiff, but the style is engaging non the less and the story entertaining enough

Exanon, cute, but obviously caught up by time, all came out too fast and you should be careful about the amount of white you leave.
I'd just like to see what you could do with a better time frame.

Base
Artist
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56 comments
# 16   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 10:55 PM
This was an interesting fight! I just hope you two get together for a rematch with more time at hand later.

Sirius: Same thing as crimson said, that anatomy and stiff poses didn't help, but the story and pacing was pretty solid. I don't think I can really add anything to this! Was a fun read!

Enaxon: Same thing here, not much I can add to this. I did notice that dreadnought sometimes didn't reflect the size you suggest he was on his design sheet, sometimes he was only a bit larger than Veronica, and other times he seemed at least 50% larger than he should. I know it's a tricky thing to hammer down those proportions, but if you can get a handle on it, it should help you really express the ferocity of the character you're going for.

CrimsonViper38
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34 comments
# 15   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 10:46 PM
Sirius- some anatomy hiccups, and stiff poses really stuck out, but the tones and story were done well. Nice work! Spend some more time practicing anatomy and drawing from life if possible. Then spend some more time looking at 'dynamic poses' for tips on how to loosen up those figures!

Enaxon- Shame you had to abandon that first idea. Your comic reflected that "panicky-behind-schedule" thing you had going on. But you did it, you put out a complete and coherent comic! The comic as is has some size issues (speech bubbles got compressed so small it was nearly unreadable), and some composition issues (large patches of empty space with small figures).Your panels were really flat at times because you used 1-point perspective, and additionally confusing when you tried to move characters forward and back (Dreadnought coming out of the alley, Roch being thrown against the wall). I suspect that even if you had more time to color and render your backgrounds, this still would be a weak point. Perspective, backgrounds, composition. Good luck to you!

Sirius
Artist
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35 comments
# 14   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 10:31 PM
Thank you. :)  Yeah, it was open-ended, and I'd be happy to rematch you after the tourney.  I actually had to rush mine too to be honest, I had a trip to Otakon to go to.  I'm pretty happy with my pages, but I think my biggest proble was my word bubbles since 99% were hand-drawn and the text didn't fit exactly how I wanted it to so it looks awkward.  Anyways, I look forward to everyone's comments. :)

Enaxon
Artist
icon
27 comments
# 13   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 10:26 PM
Sirius-- I really want to say your pages wowed me. The action scenes were well thought out and I loved the little dialogue.

We both definitely left this open ended so as I said, a rematch would definitely be doable.

Good luck dude :3

Sirius
Artist
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35 comments
# 12   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 10:07 PM
UPLOADED!!!  I'll self-crit my comic as soon as I get a few comments. It should be up soon!

Sirius
Artist
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35 comments
# 11   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 07:07 PM
Woo finally back from Otakon!  Time to finish my last page and call it a night.  I'll upload in an hour or two.  GET READY!!!

Enaxon
Artist
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27 comments
# 10   Posted: Aug 1 2010, 03:09 PM
I hope to go against a lotta people. I'm just glad the folks at void hosted this. And I'll say this over and over again with me being declined like 3-4 times before xD

I uploaded my pages yesterday because I thought the deadline was Sunday morning. :< I could have B&W colored them or something.

Sorry toast for emailing you the files individually. My ipod wouldn't let me attach multiple files!!

JimValid
Artist
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43 comments
# 9   Posted: Jul 28 2010, 11:27 AM
Whoever wins, I hope I survive long enough in the tourney to fight you.
Whoever doesn't win, I look forward to challenging you outside of the tourney :D

carlito
Artist
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375 comments
# 8   Posted: Jul 26 2010, 11:46 AM
Harness that excitement you two and turn in some awsome comics!
You can do it!

Phill
Artist
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895 comments
# 7   Posted: Jul 26 2010, 12:49 AM
Welcome to void you two, just remember to do your best, the minimum is a mere 3 pages too! And yes I am going to say this to everybody.

Enaxon
Artist
icon
27 comments
# 6   Posted: Jul 25 2010, 09:28 PM
Plan on giving it my best. Oh man, I think both our character work well.

Now, to draw!!!!

Sirius
Artist
icon
35 comments
# 5   Posted: Jul 25 2010, 09:25 PM
I'm going to start now, I'm really excited.  

Enaxon-  Let's do our best, okay?  
William Duel- That sounds like it'd be an epic match lol.

William_Duel
Community Manager
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924 comments
# 4   Posted: Jul 25 2010, 09:23 PM
Good luck to the both of you, but come MOTD, Red Rabbit will come gunning for Veronkia Roch. O.O

Enaxon
Artist
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27 comments
# 3   Posted: Jul 25 2010, 09:22 PM
This is an awesome matchup. Kudos to the matchmaker (person or program IDGAF). I'd be ecstatic to face Angie (esp. beast form FUUUU).

And I'll do my best. ;o; thanks for the hypeage <3

Dimension
Artist
icon
489 comments
# 2   Posted: Jul 25 2010, 09:19 PM
Whooo, rock it, rock it~

Angie
Council
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1937 comments
# 1   Posted: Jul 25 2010, 09:16 PM
Good luck both of you! I'll eventually have to have Angie come for Dreadnought

Comic Details -

 
Type: Tournament Match
Drawing Time: 1 week
Ended: Aug 8th, 2010
Votes Cast: 44
Page Views: 1505
Winner: Sirius
 

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