TDK           -

           Wow.WOW. WOWOWOWOWOWOW. Holy crap! You've gotten so much better, seriously serious oh my god.  I feel like literally everything me or anyone else has ever gotten on your case over is being fixed here. There's such a step up in line quality, shot variety, backgrounds, and polish that it's really inspiring. This is beyond your A game dude, you showed that you've stepping into an entirely new game. You should feel super proud of this, you've been working so hard, and this right here is the proof.

         Beware the allure of 1 point perspective. It's so easy to fall into a trap of using it as the default, but it's such an unnatural angle of seeing the world, and it can make your environments feel distant. Other perspectives pull the viewer in. Try to keep 1 point as something you only break out every so often.

   Again dude, great work. Keep it up yo.


Torque              -

                   AHHHHH FIRST COMIC IN THE CAN!

                   You've got a whole lot of white void going on in the background dude, and the few times backgrounds make an appearance they feel like kinda an afterthought.  Like the buildings around the archive are rather rushed, and that shot where Bellgrey is standing in front of the door is way off. She's actually standing on the door, like it wasn't a wall. Judging by the way Bellgrey's leg doesn't continue strait on as it should through the space between Tavia's hands, it looks like you drew Tavia first, then Bellgrey, then the background behind her. When you work on a scene, you want to work on everything all at once. Sketch out the simple shapes and get the placement of everything, then gradually work in the details. This makes it way easier to change stuff on the fly without breaking anything, and keeps your scenes feeling unified. And show those settings some love, just like the bands killer car!

    Your linework is really uniform sometimes, but it's weird. From the fluid way you draw people, it looks like you totally know how to do line weight variation. You even do it correctly in a few spots. Just try to push it more consistently. You also have a whole bunch of spots where your lines cross over into other forms. Be careful about that. It makes your stuff look less polished, and how forms and lines overlap eachother becomes really important when you want to illustrate subtleties.

   The song text doesn't look bad or anything (in fact alot of your text work looks really clean and nice) but if it's gonna be such a major part of your comic, I think it could be way more visually interesting. Have it mesh with the art and visually show us something about the sound of the song/magic and what's gonna happen. Visually displaying sound is super hard, but it can pretty fun too.

                The first comic is always the hardest dude, and you totally showed up with something awesome.  The whole "traveling band, summoning instruments to solve problems" thing is great, it reminds me of some old cartoon. And I love Bellgrey and her band, you have a real knack for designing characters, really just for drawing people in general. You pose your characters with so much action and personality. It's like I can get a great sense of who they are just by the way they move. Awesome stuff broooooo!

TDK: I think this comic is brilliant! Great clean lines and easy story to follow! Well done.

Torque: Again, great lines! I love the rendering on Kars on the last page - it's a shame all of your comic couldn't have been rendered like that!

Final page uploaded. I should've taken that extension :/

AW YEAH. SHARK LADY'S COMICS.

Wnat. Gimme. GIMME.
GIVE IT TO ME.

submitted!
head, meet chopping block.

New bloooooooooood

AWWWWWWW YEEEE