BOY howdy! These are some interesting approaches I didn’t expect within this tourney! I will say within the realms of the story direction, I love how different the two pieces are, one being playfully dark and seriously aloof to the gravity of the situation. These both being children helps to add vibrant themes presented in your guys’ work, representing the characters nicely!
Neens:
This one is such a cute way to depict death! And I say that in the most loving way possible. The linework and color choice for this piece is so well crafted and executed in a way that makes me feel like a kid reading something akin to Capt Underpants. Your style will definitely be a breath of fresh air in this Tourney in regards to how the action will most likely play out within other comics, and I can’t wait to see how it may progress!
Moonlace:
The Voidness? I love that. I enjoy it. I enjoy ambiguity within work; whether or not it was intentional or not, I would really love to see more works from you that play around the implications of void/darkness around characters. Johnny seems to be an aloof kiddo, as such I would love to see that tapped into more; be it be within more distinct body language, but the general facial expressions he provides concretes my idea of how he is.
Overall I loved these pieces for different reasons. You all I’m sure have gotten more than enough critique as far as what needs to be worked on and or ‘fixed’, so I hope you both really explore within the realms of how you represent your characters in the future if you continue on with them! Great work for the first round!
Speed Death Tournament 2018, Round 1 / Rue and Wormwood vs. Johnny
Critiques & Comments
# 12
Posted:
Jan 28 2018, 07:22 PM
# 11
Posted:
Jan 28 2018, 01:08 PM
Creepy lil kind contest should be a new event.
I loved both of these! Except, MOONLACE you will need to try and fill them large ol gaps in the future. This IS entervoid but voids are strongly discouraged... I think...
"Flattery won't work on me."
I loved both of these! Except, MOONLACE you will need to try and fill them large ol gaps in the future. This IS entervoid but voids are strongly discouraged... I think...
"Flattery won't work on me."
# 10
Posted:
Jan 28 2018, 10:21 AM
Nina I love your sense of comedic pacing the knife scene was great and the character interactions were worth it great job. Moon Im sorry it was so hard to read your comic on the site, I could not tell which way to read it so the flow was all sorts of messed up.
# 9
Posted:
Jan 24 2018, 02:46 PM
@nina: There really wasn't much to the plot, but all of the little details you put into this, plus your adorable art style, made it enjoyable anyway. You cheated by putting so many "butt"s in there hahaha. I really want to see more from this witch gal! I think your backgrounds could use more detail, but for one week I really couldn't expect more than what you've already done. So GREAT JOB!
@moonlace: #1—make sure you resize your pages for web viewing. I would recommend sticking to around 900px wide, although screen resolutions are increasing enough that you could probably get away with up to 1200px wide if you really wanted. Just make sure you preview the image at 100% zoom (or 200% if you're using Photoshop on a retina display like I am; that always confuses me). #2—make sure it's clear to your readers which order to read panels in. On the first page, I wasn't sure whether to read the panel below the first or the one to the right. You're fine from that point on, so just make sure not to confuse your readers with those little details in the future. I would also recommend adding more space between panels and adding more details to your backgrounds so it's easier to tell where everyone is throughout the comic. Other than those tweaks, I think this was a fun little comic, and I'd love to see more from you!
@moonlace: #1—make sure you resize your pages for web viewing. I would recommend sticking to around 900px wide, although screen resolutions are increasing enough that you could probably get away with up to 1200px wide if you really wanted. Just make sure you preview the image at 100% zoom (or 200% if you're using Photoshop on a retina display like I am; that always confuses me). #2—make sure it's clear to your readers which order to read panels in. On the first page, I wasn't sure whether to read the panel below the first or the one to the right. You're fine from that point on, so just make sure not to confuse your readers with those little details in the future. I would also recommend adding more space between panels and adding more details to your backgrounds so it's easier to tell where everyone is throughout the comic. Other than those tweaks, I think this was a fun little comic, and I'd love to see more from you!
# 8
Posted:
Jan 23 2018, 11:55 AM
thanks for the crit guys! to clarify, the joke was that the snake is slowly strangling johnny throughout the comic. I can see where I could have made that more obvious, hindsight is 20/20 etc.
# 7
Posted:
Jan 23 2018, 07:48 AM
NEENS: You brought it like you bring it every dang time don't you. It's nice and dynamic and cartoony and a great choice of books and the accidental strangling is a great choice. A few choices in decor, shot, or perspective seemed less than ideal however. Like, I love the mix of depth and flatness, but sometimes things are just out of place, for example, in the first panel, you flatten the perspective in a way that distorts it more than necessary, making it look like the bookshelves are out of place. And the shot of the books and feet, I did have to read the titles of the books to make sure that it was still the same character because there isn't that much indication on the beginning of a page. It's not much to detract from the overall quality of the product, but hey, if I don't nitpick what am I gonna say? Good job yo.
MOON: Yo your pages are too voluminous! it's hard to read when I gotta scroll horizontally to see the whole thing! It is a major detractor in the enjoyment and understanding of a comic piece. You also have the whole thing 'hey come to this place' and then there's no place! :0 It's just empty blackness. Now, I enjoy empty blackness just as much as the next gal, we all hang out in this here VOID after all, but you gotta set the environment a bit. The first page has this nice compositional balance of trees and stuff, it not only establishes the location, but helps in the overall layout of the page. Even something simple like that throughout could have made a fantastic positive difference in the comic. I understand SDT can be a rough one to come into, and I hope to see you try some more! I think there's some interesting things you could explore here.
MOON: Yo your pages are too voluminous! it's hard to read when I gotta scroll horizontally to see the whole thing! It is a major detractor in the enjoyment and understanding of a comic piece. You also have the whole thing 'hey come to this place' and then there's no place! :0 It's just empty blackness. Now, I enjoy empty blackness just as much as the next gal, we all hang out in this here VOID after all, but you gotta set the environment a bit. The first page has this nice compositional balance of trees and stuff, it not only establishes the location, but helps in the overall layout of the page. Even something simple like that throughout could have made a fantastic positive difference in the comic. I understand SDT can be a rough one to come into, and I hope to see you try some more! I think there's some interesting things you could explore here.
# 6
Posted:
Jan 23 2018, 06:53 AM
Neens: Adorable!! I really love the style, although I don't understand how and why Johnny died at all? If snek had accidentally bit him in the collision, that would make sense I guess, but I don't see anything. :/
Moonlace: I wasn't sure what to expect, but I believe I'm impressed! You have quite a good handle on faces, and the way you've captured the vagary of youth is very developed. I'm not sure what Rue was doing on page 4, though, so there's probably room to improve regarding actual action. It's a good exposé, though!
Moonlace: I wasn't sure what to expect, but I believe I'm impressed! You have quite a good handle on faces, and the way you've captured the vagary of youth is very developed. I'm not sure what Rue was doing on page 4, though, so there's probably room to improve regarding actual action. It's a good exposé, though!
# 5
Posted:
Jan 22 2018, 08:31 AM
Neens:
I am a big fan of your style, and that comic was the perfect length. I got a good chuckle at the use of the snake for a anti-climax ending.
Moonlace: I can actually dig the all black with white silhouette like characters. But I feel that the comic felt a bit disjointed and and a big strike against it was the the the white edges around the lineart and and unfinished feel to it.
I am a big fan of your style, and that comic was the perfect length. I got a good chuckle at the use of the snake for a anti-climax ending.
Moonlace: I can actually dig the all black with white silhouette like characters. But I feel that the comic felt a bit disjointed and and a big strike against it was the the the white edges around the lineart and and unfinished feel to it.
# 4
Posted:
Jan 21 2018, 02:55 PM
neens: pages uploaded!
me tooQuote
Quote
# 3
Posted:
Jan 21 2018, 11:00 AM
pages uploaded!
# 2
Posted:
Jan 18 2018, 08:04 AM
Just because Moonlace is new I want to go over some rules, JUST IN CASE:
1. You MUST draw your opponent in your comic and they MUST die, in some way.
2. You have to upload your comic BEFORE the deadline. It's very strict and there is no wiggle room.
Go here to upload http://entervoid.com/index.php?action=manager;sa=submit
Make sure you click on the comic under MY COMICS, please do not make a "beyond battle" by accident.
Upload your images, there is no confirmation button.
Also please read this http://help.entervoid.com/submitting-a-comic/ for more help on submitting a comic. Please email staff@entervoid.com if you have any issues. Waiting until the last possible moment to upload is not recommended.
1. You MUST draw your opponent in your comic and they MUST die, in some way.
2. You have to upload your comic BEFORE the deadline. It's very strict and there is no wiggle room.
Go here to upload http://entervoid.com/index.php?action=manager;sa=submit
Make sure you click on the comic under MY COMICS, please do not make a "beyond battle" by accident.
Upload your images, there is no confirmation button.
Also please read this http://help.entervoid.com/submitting-a-comic/ for more help on submitting a comic. Please email staff@entervoid.com if you have any issues. Waiting until the last possible moment to upload is not recommended.
# 1
Posted:
Jan 15 2018, 09:54 AM
Gecko vs Snake, I'm into it.
Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Jan 28th, 2018
Votes Cast:
37
Page Views:
1635
Winner:
neens
Intro Story
King
@ 12:38 PM Mar 29th
The End of Extinction
@ 11:26 AM Mar 29th
Monsters of Nature
Dairyu vs. Rickter & Gus
@ 8:14 PM Mar 28th
Help Needed
Theakon
@ 8:41 AM Mar 28th
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Artist
I have to say this is a very strong showing for a first-round and especially for a one weeker, your skills with cartooning and with composite definitely add a lot of personality and set up this match up. Great set up and some good jokes. I found myself going along with character voices in my head so great work!
You have very strong character shapes that lend themselves to better characterization though I feel like playing around with a bit more three-dimensional and giving those shapes a bit more dimension might help them top of it better even more than they already do.
I think the way that he dies while being pretty funny does like it came out of nowhere even as a logical as it would be. Which is really my only real complaint as far as I can see it.
Moonlace
I think using the black and white with heavy emphasis is on spot blacks and negative space was a good move. Good way of throwing up a lot of compositional space and playing around with the composition in the panels. Helps moves the eye and brings a lot of dramatic shots and angles.
On the flip side I find the compositions are little confusing as far as the flow going from panel to panel especially in the first page as the panels don't quite line up very well to from balloon to balloon. Your going strong with composition and moving the eye with that. Its still a bit clunky and I would experiment with arranging both anatomical study and reference with arranging the characters for maximum use of your space along to create the desired dramatic effect.
And I don't think it needs to be left unsaid that yeah, page sizes. Keep an eye on that.
Other then that, I see the room for loads of improvement and would love to see what you can come up with next!