Franken - I’m so sorry to hear that My condolences.
There isn’t really enough content for me to crit, but I really liked what I saw so far!! Your style is sooo nice.
Cab - I found this cluttered both visually and story-wise. I’ve commented on your over-detailing and art a couple of times before, so I’ll focus on the story here. There’s 7 pages and 7 characters all vying for attention within those pages. This is a very short comic, there’s no need for two different plotlines at once and all these characters. I wasn’t sure who to focus on, in fact I forgot that this battle was supposed to be Roxy vs Marie because of how much else was going on, and like Kozi said, important story beats are easily missed because there’s so much packed in. Cameos are all well and good but to me it’s gotten to a point where they actually subtract from the story rather than add.
Another note, in my opinion if you have so many lyrics, you should integrate them into the comic better. Right now they’re written in these big chunks of text and merely rotated to give a bit of variety. I actually love the idea of songs being utilised in comics, but this way they feel like a separate element added as an afterthought as opposed to a meaningful, cohesive part of the story, as they’re clearly supposed to be.
Great Escalations, Round 1 / Marie Frankenstein vs. Roxy
Critiques & Comments
# 12
Posted:
Apr 22 2020, 08:03 AM
# 11
Posted:
Apr 22 2020, 01:52 AM
FRANKEN- Love love LOVE your inks! Despite the time crunch, the quality of the work you did get to show off has such promise. You got me wishing I could've seen this fully realized, but tournaments, man. They escalate quickly (hyuk hyuk). I really hope that when life calms down for you we get to see more comics from you
CAB- Per usual, your sheer page count and wealth of work page to page is just as beefy in tournaments as they are in regular battles. I have no idea how you do it. man. While I applaud the sheer amount of extra you always slam into your battles, I'll have to admit I'm not jiving with your composition. Page to page just feels congested. It leaves your impactful moments in your story sort of get lost in the crowded panels and the overabundance of events going on. If there's one takeaway I hope you take to heart is allowing your pages and panels to breathe and not feel you have to fill every part with something.
CAB- Per usual, your sheer page count and wealth of work page to page is just as beefy in tournaments as they are in regular battles. I have no idea how you do it. man. While I applaud the sheer amount of extra you always slam into your battles, I'll have to admit I'm not jiving with your composition. Page to page just feels congested. It leaves your impactful moments in your story sort of get lost in the crowded panels and the overabundance of events going on. If there's one takeaway I hope you take to heart is allowing your pages and panels to breathe and not feel you have to fill every part with something.
# 10
Posted:
Apr 21 2020, 10:25 PM
Franken: life happens and it's totally fine that it's incomplete, the bits you had here were really good. Something that you can do is take your time and complete this entire comic than submit it as a BB. your characters are great and the ideas you had for the compositions were interesting. I would love to see a complete version of this as a BB and also just want to see more Marie cause she's a great character.
Cab: Thank you for the Garland and Juniper Cameos I appreciate seeing your interpretation of him. The quality of your comic is as consistent as it always is with you so great job. The action in this comic is clearer than in your previous comics so great job with that. The ending feels rushed with the sudden build up devolving into a background panel bickering, the final page would have been better used to put more time resolving the conflict. But you're still as consistent as ever so great job and good luck in the next round.
Cab: Thank you for the Garland and Juniper Cameos I appreciate seeing your interpretation of him. The quality of your comic is as consistent as it always is with you so great job. The action in this comic is clearer than in your previous comics so great job with that. The ending feels rushed with the sudden build up devolving into a background panel bickering, the final page would have been better used to put more time resolving the conflict. But you're still as consistent as ever so great job and good luck in the next round.
# 9
Posted:
Apr 21 2020, 03:23 PM
Franken - It is such a shame you did not finish your part. Your art is so gorgeous though! I am really digging your style. I really want to see more from you. My condolences for losing your loved one and wishing you the best in these tough times. Take care of yourself, we'll be here when you get back.
Cab - Oh man, nothing but praises! The story, the art are just simply great. And you are indeed a master of cameos - you draw everyone so beautifully! I love that twist in the end. Very well done!
Cab - Oh man, nothing but praises! The story, the art are just simply great. And you are indeed a master of cameos - you draw everyone so beautifully! I love that twist in the end. Very well done!
# 8
Posted:
Apr 20 2020, 11:44 AM
Frankentoon.
I have no idea what's going on here, but the lineart sure looks good. This evil science girl has some awesome poses!
Someone's up to no good! Hopefully you are able to finish a comic soon. I can tell you have a lot of capability as an artist and I'd like to see what kind of writing talent you have to go along with it.
Cab.
You speedy devil. XD
The art here is pretty solid, no complaints there. These felt like Saturday morning cartoon shenanigans. The only thing I didn't like was how the betrayal played out, it just kinda happened and it wasn't very satisfying or really built up to. Maybe I'm not familiar enough with the characters, but it made me think, "what's the point of even attempting to team up if both of them are known dirty backstabbers?" I think any little hint that the cat boi was having second thoughts would have made it a little better since he just comes out and is like, "betrayal, duh!" While I'm like, "but why though?"
Pretty silly stuff, but enjoyable regardless.
Everything else was pretty great.
Good work you guys! You both rock (no pun intended)!
I have no idea what's going on here, but the lineart sure looks good. This evil science girl has some awesome poses!
Someone's up to no good! Hopefully you are able to finish a comic soon. I can tell you have a lot of capability as an artist and I'd like to see what kind of writing talent you have to go along with it.
Cab.
You speedy devil. XD
The art here is pretty solid, no complaints there. These felt like Saturday morning cartoon shenanigans. The only thing I didn't like was how the betrayal played out, it just kinda happened and it wasn't very satisfying or really built up to. Maybe I'm not familiar enough with the characters, but it made me think, "what's the point of even attempting to team up if both of them are known dirty backstabbers?" I think any little hint that the cat boi was having second thoughts would have made it a little better since he just comes out and is like, "betrayal, duh!" While I'm like, "but why though?"
Pretty silly stuff, but enjoyable regardless.
Everything else was pretty great.
Good work you guys! You both rock (no pun intended)!
# 7
Posted:
Apr 20 2020, 10:36 AM
Cab I know you know we all know ... awesome stuff. As always. Just solid
Frankentoon ... I´m sorry for your loss so the situation is absolutely relatable. When you feel like it again I am so much looking forward to your next comic. I just love your energetic style. From what i´d seen it was going to be a stellar comic.
Frankentoon ... I´m sorry for your loss so the situation is absolutely relatable. When you feel like it again I am so much looking forward to your next comic. I just love your energetic style. From what i´d seen it was going to be a stellar comic.
# 6
Posted:
Apr 17 2020, 01:40 PM
For those wondering the first song Roxy sang was "Hero Too" from My hero academia, https://youtu.be/GgwUenaQqlM?t=85
# 4
Posted:
Apr 16 2020, 08:22 AM
I loved what we got to see, Franken, sorry for your loss and my thoughts and love are with you and yours! Come back to us when you are ready, we'll always be ready and waiting.
Cab - Good stuff! Some great style and choices in angles, great work weaving Marie into the VOID universe and establishing her, I feel like this was more about the Marie story than Roxy though! Let's see more Roxy in the next one!
Cab - Good stuff! Some great style and choices in angles, great work weaving Marie into the VOID universe and establishing her, I feel like this was more about the Marie story than Roxy though! Let's see more Roxy in the next one!
# 3
Posted:
Apr 16 2020, 08:11 AM
FRANKENTOON-
The parts that you submitted, I really liked. When enough time has passed and you decide to come back to Void, I would love to see more of what you can do. In the meantime, my thoughts are with your family during this difficult time.
CAB-
You give us a link to Tiffany but completely neglected Meatfloaf? I can clock a Bat out of Hell song anywhere.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8tocdIGSeM
You gave us a pretty solid piece of work, but I'm seeing some instances of "dull surprise" from Roxy. Push those expressions! Remember, even pretty girls' faces crinkle when they scowl.
The parts that you submitted, I really liked. When enough time has passed and you decide to come back to Void, I would love to see more of what you can do. In the meantime, my thoughts are with your family during this difficult time.
CAB-
You give us a link to Tiffany but completely neglected Meatfloaf? I can clock a Bat out of Hell song anywhere.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8tocdIGSeM
You gave us a pretty solid piece of work, but I'm seeing some instances of "dull surprise" from Roxy. Push those expressions! Remember, even pretty girls' faces crinkle when they scowl.
# 2
Posted:
Apr 16 2020, 12:35 AM
For those who wonder what the last song was that Roxy sang --> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wonVGQ64fjM
# 1
Posted:
Apr 16 2020, 12:32 AM
Hey everyone!!
I’m sorry for the unfinished entry, ( terrible first impression, i know ) but I wanted to at least offer something. I wanted to give it my all, and I was for some time until I got hit with some news. A week into the tourney, I had received news of a family tragedy and have been mourning the death of my Father in Law due to cancer. A wonderful man who I was very close to and it’s left my family in a disarray. Another incident, I had also had my tools break down on me and couldn't afford to get it right away, losing a few days from that too. So sorry to people who were excited to see this, I promise I won’t disappoint in the future.
For now, I’ll be spending time with my family and recovering. Thank you! ( Hope I posted this in the right place hahaa,, )
I’m sorry for the unfinished entry, ( terrible first impression, i know ) but I wanted to at least offer something. I wanted to give it my all, and I was for some time until I got hit with some news. A week into the tourney, I had received news of a family tragedy and have been mourning the death of my Father in Law due to cancer. A wonderful man who I was very close to and it’s left my family in a disarray. Another incident, I had also had my tools break down on me and couldn't afford to get it right away, losing a few days from that too. So sorry to people who were excited to see this, I promise I won’t disappoint in the future.
For now, I’ll be spending time with my family and recovering. Thank you! ( Hope I posted this in the right place hahaa,, )
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
2 weeks
Ended:
Apr 22nd, 2020
Votes Cast:
22
Page Views:
1227
Winner:
Cab
einsam
Colbitzer
@ 3:32 PM Apr 17th
Birthright
Saal, Louise Ambre-Aliona, and Llaana
@ 3:44 PM Apr 16th
Help Needed
Theakon
@ 2:19 PM Apr 16th
The Great Switcheroo
Louise Ambre-Aliona vs. Luniel Gekka
@ 3:26 AM Apr 15th
The Great Switcheroo
Colbitzer vs. Veruca Chance
@ 5:22 PM Apr 14th
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|
418 Guests, 0 Users
Most Online Today: 434.
Most Online Ever: 1,184 (Jan 13, 2020, 06:21 PM)
Artist
Cab: Yeah I agree its INSANE how much you can pull off in such a short time span. What is your SECRET. Cameos are nice, but I agree with what other people said, the story felt too spread out and incohesive to follow. Like the Garland/Juniper betrayal at the end was just utterly confusing.
Good shit good shit from the both of you.