Invitational Tournament 2019: Round 1 / "Faceless" Furio vs. Buck Xander
Critiques & Comments
# 5
Posted:
Jun 17 2019, 08:15 PM
Deji, I fucking love Buck omg. Also please teach me how to draw hands oml
# 4
Posted:
Jun 17 2019, 03:19 PM
CZP: It's too bad you couldn't get more in, but this looks like it was going to be very dramatic!
Dejitaruu: A good strong opening for Buck Xander. Gotta respect the dedication it takes to make painterly comics. But I guess it wasn't that sustainable, huh? You did put in the attention to detail and rendering in the panels where it really counted. Also, while manga can get away with "mostly black and white with a special color page or two," in Void it typically gets considered a sign of an incomplete comic, and it winds up working against you, so you're probably better off scaling back production a bit in the future to maintain consistency.
Dejitaruu: A good strong opening for Buck Xander. Gotta respect the dedication it takes to make painterly comics. But I guess it wasn't that sustainable, huh? You did put in the attention to detail and rendering in the panels where it really counted. Also, while manga can get away with "mostly black and white with a special color page or two," in Void it typically gets considered a sign of an incomplete comic, and it winds up working against you, so you're probably better off scaling back production a bit in the future to maintain consistency.
# 3
Posted:
Jun 11 2019, 07:55 PM
CZP: Welcome to void. From what is here I really like your linework and the way you stylized buck's face in this. I look forward to seeing more of your stuff in this style.
Deji: The first thing i could say is for future one week battles you shouldn't worry about color and just go with the grayscale style you have for the 3 pages because it really works well and if you have time to clean it up it will look nice and hopefully take less time than coloring so I think you should stick with that because it just works well. The only art crit i would have is that the action at the bottom of page 4 isn't too clear. It seems buck shot the glass and the liquid splashed on furio but the action of the bullet is cut off from the bottom of the page and it looks like the glass falls on the floor so making sure the action has a good focus on the panels it's happening is important.
for your word bubbles, there are some that don't have arrows when they should like the ones in page 4 in the first 3 panels should have arrows pointing towards furio even though where furio's head would be. While it may be preference I do think you should also just stick with pure white word bubbles with a small black border as that helps give them a good contrast from the rest of what's going on.
Finally your story was really simple and good. The best part of the comic as a whole is Buck's personality you did an amazing job with the dialogue here. Realy good job on your first solo comic on void
Deji: The first thing i could say is for future one week battles you shouldn't worry about color and just go with the grayscale style you have for the 3 pages because it really works well and if you have time to clean it up it will look nice and hopefully take less time than coloring so I think you should stick with that because it just works well. The only art crit i would have is that the action at the bottom of page 4 isn't too clear. It seems buck shot the glass and the liquid splashed on furio but the action of the bullet is cut off from the bottom of the page and it looks like the glass falls on the floor so making sure the action has a good focus on the panels it's happening is important.
for your word bubbles, there are some that don't have arrows when they should like the ones in page 4 in the first 3 panels should have arrows pointing towards furio even though where furio's head would be. While it may be preference I do think you should also just stick with pure white word bubbles with a small black border as that helps give them a good contrast from the rest of what's going on.
Finally your story was really simple and good. The best part of the comic as a whole is Buck's personality you did an amazing job with the dialogue here. Realy good job on your first solo comic on void
# 2
Posted:
Jun 11 2019, 04:41 PM
I love that Buck puts his rifle in its own seat like he's taking it out for coffee.
# 1
Posted:
Jun 11 2019, 10:24 AM
Hey y’all!
Just wanted to say thanks for reading and I hope you like my stuff!!
It was wild, I had to have everything from jaw surgery, to graduating high school, to working a full time job during this comic so even though there’s some unfinished stuff in here and I didn’t get to colour it all like I initially wanted to, I’m still proud I got to work on this as much as I did.
I’m mostly looking for critiques regarding stuff I can do in my future comics, because lol trust me, I know I kinda dropped the ball art-wise due to being busy aha. There’s a couple unfinished panels in there too HAHA.
Also wanna say thanks to my opponent life got in the way for me as well and that’s just how it is with these things some time. Perhaps we can continue this battle in the future when we’re both more free lol. - but I love working with Furio! He’s a fun guy haha.
Thanks everyone!!!
Deji
Just wanted to say thanks for reading and I hope you like my stuff!!
It was wild, I had to have everything from jaw surgery, to graduating high school, to working a full time job during this comic so even though there’s some unfinished stuff in here and I didn’t get to colour it all like I initially wanted to, I’m still proud I got to work on this as much as I did.
I’m mostly looking for critiques regarding stuff I can do in my future comics, because lol trust me, I know I kinda dropped the ball art-wise due to being busy aha. There’s a couple unfinished panels in there too HAHA.
Also wanna say thanks to my opponent life got in the way for me as well and that’s just how it is with these things some time. Perhaps we can continue this battle in the future when we’re both more free lol. - but I love working with Furio! He’s a fun guy haha.
Thanks everyone!!!
Deji
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Jun 17th, 2019
Votes Cast:
41
Page Views:
1629
Winner:
dejitaruu
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Artist
DEJI-I love the colors and creamy smooth style you had going on the first two pages. A shame it wasn't throughout, but it was still neat to see your process and inks as a standalone (which I think would really pop on their own if you utilized more black as considering the characters, the comic leans on the white side).
Do keep in mind word bubbles are an art in them self. Be sure your dialogue isn't bleeding or hanging out the edges!