Leech-seed/Qyzex: I love the desert scenario and always enjoy when a voider takes the world into that environment. The colors were great, but even with the texturing, the walls of the houses feel very empty. The font was nice but a little hard to read, and it was an interesting narration. Again I loved those colors.

Gibbo: I like that your characters interacted more, but the pop-culture references weren't necessary. It looks like you're using a 3d program to help with your figures. That's fine, but you don't have to follow them to a T. It's okay to loosen up from time to time, it'll make the characters look and act more organic. Your goal should be first: to be able to draw on a level where people can't recognize the 3d program used before hand, and then: to be able to draw on a level where you no longer need the 3d program. Keep that in mind, and good luck with future work.

Leech/Qyzex-The characters and coloring were fairly solid, but your backgrounds left a lot to be desired. It would also be a good idea to go with a slightly thicker font next time, because this font is a little difficult to read due to how small and narrow it is. It was otherwise an entertaining comic.

Gibbo-You had a fairly nice little comic, but it may have been a good idea to back off on the videogame terms in the action scene, it cheapened them a little. Even though that particular scene was well drawn, I was confused by what was going on. In action it's good to keep cause and effect in mind.

Leechzex - I love how the characters were drawn--Azelle is nicely stylized to fit the story, and I think the brightness of Kete works well off the earthy background tones. I'd like to see a little more definition in the background city--it feels incomplete in places, like its missing just a few key details or visual hooks to make it really interesting. But I enjoyed the comic a lot!

Gibbo - I like your anatomy and poses, but I'd like to see some more natural or relaxed poses, not too stiff. That said, your characters are charming and I did like how these ladies interacted--it seemed like a good fit.

Leech-seed and Qyzex:
 I personally like the 'muddy' colours, I feel it suits the setting and it doesn't make it all look too shiny and digitalised. I do like it when there is a balance though, for example the fist panel with that bright vibrant sun.
What I do feel is week though is that nothing much has actually happened, they basically travel a bit, I reckon you could have incorporated a lot more, and a lot more interesting stuff if you were to cut that down a bit. I know the whole writer artist thing must be hard to get used to, but I feel the writing overwhelmed the sense of a visual narrative.

Gibbo:
I'd try drawing some stuff on streets. Not the usual, perspetive type thing, nut focussing on the little details, like how the street lamp is but together, there are 100s of little things coming out the majority of buildings. All these little things just completely re-energise your environments. I quite like how clean everything is though.

Thanks again for the feedback guys, lots of things to note for improving on!

It was niggling in the back of my mind while drawing the pages that I should be showing why that random thug appears... ultimately decided I needed to cut it down to try get finished in time. I would like to create some intro pages though for Azelle to explain why she's in VOID City (is it possible to add intro pages to a character once it has been submitted to the site?) and then work in that encounter as the end point before this battle.

Leech/Qyz: Quite a cool world you've developed there, such a solid sense of environment I adore. Although you reinvented Azelle to suit your needs in that world I'm captivated by it, I just wish there were more to it than a narrative- the world is your main character and although its well written, there's no rise and fall action. I suppose we'll have to wait for the next round eh? Qyz I dig your art, always have and you've tightened up nicely over the years to a defined style. A few kinks with color smudge and shadow but otherwise its a good marriage of word and image. Quite a competent partnership!

Gibbo: Wonderful first showing, I love Azelle's quirky expressions and your colorful scenes. The humor of your pages is constant if a bit old school. I'd like to know more about Az herself and see more of her in action. Your anatomy seems pretty tight, now to up your settings and storytelling abilities. Use more angles, change up your camera some and you'll be aces. Your work is quite charming and you're a great contributor to Void, glad to have you around!

Gibbo, nice job but your poses seemed a bit stif. Also try and vary your line width! It will help your stuff pop a lot more. Love the expressions. Story was a bit typical for my tastes.

Leech-seed - already know Qyz but I think the writing here was not bad. Paneling turned out very smooth. Wish a little more happened

Gibbbbbbbo: Your comic was cool. It reminds me of 'Old Void' battles, which usually was when two characters met up, do something (fight or zany thing) and the end. That's not a bad thing. It's to the point and I get a quick feel for your character without having to wait until the next battle to continue on with some storyline. I like it.

Your character faces are surprisingly animated and you convey movement well. Someone mentioned you use poser. I don't know what that is. If it's something that sets up figures so that you can draw from them, that's cool. Just be careful that characters don't start looking alike or have too similar of body structure. Both Kate and Azelle look like they have the same torso (skinny arms and such) and it distracted me a bit. It's not a HUGE deal. That's just being nit picky because all I was thinking was how skinny their arms were. So you can kinda ignore that one.

On the other hand, you should watch your line width. While I'm usually okay with a single line width on a character when used in character only panels. When it's the same width as the lines you use in the background, you tend to loose depth.

A good example is the first two panels. You go all out awesome the do a worms eye shot of her walking but you kind of loose that effect when the lines make it seem like they're all on the same plane. This is where I might suggest that the stuff closer the camera have a thicker line. It give the appearance that it is closer and causes that one foot to pop more. The second it a little more simple, since it's just a normal angle of her walking in the street. But once again it is flat since the garbage can (the closest to us) and the building (furthest from us) is all the same line width. It doesn't need to be a dramatic thickness, but even a little can help add more depth to certain scenes.

Also watch out with doing too many waist high panels. What I mean by this is any time the characters are just talking, the panel is them from the waist up. It's not awful and you do move the camera view a little. Just don't get stuck there. Once again, it may be just one of those things that I'm nitpicking because I was thinking about it too much when I was reading the comic.

'Skinny arms.... waist high panel....'

As everyone has generally stated, you guys did a good job overall. It's always great to see a finished battles and you should feel proud. It looks like everyone's been critiquing pretty decently on you guys, so I'll try not to repeat too much. I also have to split it in two because I talk too much.

Leezex: It's a nice little set up story that let's me know you've got a lot more story to tell. I don't mind the narration at all but I feel like the actual dialogue itself is a little flat. If this is a journal I feel there should be a bit more personality put and the word usage be..uh... more relaxed. It hard describe without it sounding crazy. It sometimes comes off as someone writing a police report (stating facts as they happen) more then a journal (stating what happened as they saw it).

Mostly an example would be when it's said 'There sat the one who saved me. Her name was Azelle', it would sound more natural to say 'There sat the one who save me' and then in a second caption 'Azelle.'  Mostly because the art shows Azelle right there so it's kinda like that caption is her label. Comics are neat like that. I'm under the impression that Leech is the writer and if that's true, keep in mind that you have the benefit of an artist to help convey what's going on. So you can relax a little with your dialogue. Unless that's how she talks. Then I'm a total jerk.

Also, I don't know who was in charge of the caption but how you break up the text. There are some parts I would break up just to keep the mood established (two people meeting and relating to each other?) that when put in one box, it seems rushed instead of contemplative.

In terms of art, I'm pretty cool with it. I enjoyed the color scheme and panel layout of the first page. There are decent attempts at cinematic angles to convey the sense of flying. I always enjoy it when artist try to convey stuff like that. Like a lot of people, my only major problem is the color palette.

I think the main thing that is holding you back is using brown as a the main 'dark shade'. That's where all the complaints of muddy-ness and unclear come from. A simple solution is to use contrast colors instead, usually as the base colors. Maybe a cool color palette for the foreground (usually the characters and the carpet) and warm for the desert back drop. Or visa versa. Or maybe more washed out colors for the back drop and more bright, solid colors for the foreground. Really if anything, just use contrasts because they help stuff 'pop' when you want them to stand out.

If it helps you out (and what I do a lot because I'm suck at coloring) is to check something that is using a similar setting to what your planning on using. It kinda gives you an idea of how to use your color palette in specific settings. For example, I looked up some stuff I know had deserts in them, like the Disney film Aladdin or screen shots from the game Journey. Then I'm all like 'Hey I can use blue and purple in my background and have it still look like a desert.' or 'I can have a red character on a warm color background, I just need to do this'.

Also if you're going to have light line work and use color as a major filler, make sure you still add the details you would normally add when you ink. The buildings come off as flat cubes because the lack some of the cracks and lumps that sometime occur. But that's a minor nit pick because I do understand that this needed to be done in a week. And sometimes it does come down to 'Do I flesh out this fine curvature of this building or do I finish the damn page?'.

Good efforts from both sides. Both have their faults and merits most of which has been mentioned below. Nothing much I can add to that Good  luck to the both of ya

Leech/Qyz: Very interesting way to start your tournament, although I would've liked to to have seen some subtle references to the original VOID City. Your approach to Azelle was a bit off character, though your artistic execution of her was satisfying. Art wise I was impressed though the colors seemed a bit rushed or smudged? Not sure how to put it. Backgrounds are minimum but for a weeks drawing time I can understand the difficulty in getting them done in time. Perhaps attention to simple details such as perpective and a good establishing shot in the start, then simple suggestions true to the setting in the later panels.

Gibbo: Also a good way to start off your campaign buddy. Good simple story telling although the plot hits a speedbump when the guy with the grenade appears. Like Hiemie said a shot of the car she wrecked would've provided a bit more clarity, which is important with sequential art to keep the reader in the loop. Art wise you were fine, though some poses were a bit akward or forced for the situation. The perspective in one or two panels was off but nothing serious, pretty easy to correct in future. The sudden black background didn't fit very well on page 4 in my opinion, although I know you were severely pressed for time so it's not a big deal.

Both of you, there's parts of your comics that look sparse due to the sort of empty backgrounds. It's not entirely a big deal, it just makes parts of the panels look like big empty space.

Leech: The setting you've established is fun. I also enjoy it because I rarely see deserts used on this site so it will be a nice change in palette and locale.

Qyz: Your color and form is improving, but it all feels a bit, muddy? The Pastels look is kind of working, but it needs to be more developed or consistent.

Gibbo: A good start. Some very basic storytelling, but we all need to start somewhere. I feel you should have drawn the part where Az actually ruined the guys car in the comic, as his appearance was very unplanned. You should do more showing and less telling in comics. You don't even see the ruined car, and that would have increased the comedic effect. It's a good start though.

Leech 'n Qyzex: Interesting interpretation/reworking of Azelle, very unexpected! I liked your approach, it feels like you've got a bigger/full story planned out for Kete, and these sequences are snippets showing VOID characters who may help or hinder her progress along the way.

I really want to respond to everyone's comments individually but that would get spammy, so overall would like to say that I'm overwhelmed by all the responses and really appreciate all the feedback!

Things I've noted and will be challenging myself to do (if able to do future comics) would definitely be to work on storytelling, perspective & interesting angles, poses, bigger expressions, flesh Azelle's character out more, panel layout... and if time permits it, try to include some shading!

leech/qyz.

It's nice that you broke free from the Void City concept and did something totally different.
For colors, I find it odd that the purple shadow is heavily placed on what looks like a bright blue day. also I felt that under a different layer setting or saturation it woulda helped make the colors less muddy. All and all if you get to the next round i hope this story kicks off well. Didnt feel like much happen but i your use of the characters.

Gibbo, I notice that you pose models in your comic. I wont dock you any points cause I've seen even pros use it and unlike a lot of people, I understand that these models dont do what you want them to do on their own, you have to have your hand in it.
However, i feel like at some point you have to find out when to go in and redraw details that look uncanny thanks to the model. Best example would be how the hands look too perfect from time to time that it backfires on you because fingers in real life have a slight webbing in between them. (stretch your fingers out and see for yourself.)

With bgs, I feel like you should fade the color a bit as things are farther and farther in order for you give some depth. As well as look at references and add texture to not make it look like they're in a room made out of cardboard.

This one was tough. Both are very fun comics and characters! Good luck to both of you!

The Pokemon jokes are near and dear to my heart. Both teams have done some fine work here! I can't wait to see who the victor is.

Leech and Qyz: You gave Kete a unique voice and she's a character whose mind I enjoy.  Will be following.  Qyzex I really dig your art.  You pulled off a really graceful between slogging through for time but still putting loving little details into everything.  Impressive.  And I really liked reimagining Azelle as an Arabian genie-type figure.  

Gibbo: It gave me a chuckle.  It's a fun to see the odd character come to Void that isn't a degenerate that fits right into its violent ways.  This could just be my love for dark humor, but I actually think it would have been much funnier to cap off the little Pokémon battle bit by having the grenade do realistically horrifying things to the goon.  It would provide a jarring contrast from the cutesy Pokemon gag on the prior page to this dude getting blown to pieces.  Which would, incidentally, fit Azelle's newcomer to Void paradigm quite nicely, as to survive she is forced to murder a guy real good before very long.  

solid stuff from everyone.

qyz - your art has certainly improved a great deal, it's awesome to see you rockin the colors so well. character designs are fun and interesting, the paneling is clear, really good stuff all around. if i had to pick at something, i think the decision to have the hair block kete's face was a little weird, and could have been handled a little less awkwardly. a shadow beneath the rug on page3 panel3 would have sold the flying bit better as well, when i first read it i thought they were parked on a roof and kete really liked the taste of sandstone.

leech - definitely digging the journal vibe. not much else to say, i just thought it was a nice start to what i hope will be an even more interesting travel-ogue style serial.

gibbo - nice and neat little comic. colors are fun, and i love the pokemon jokes. posing is a bit of an issue here, though. i'm assuming you referenced the guy pointing? that was a good idea, do more of that. kete and azelle both feel really stiff (and not in the fun way!), so referencing real life or doing gesture studies are good ways of putting some more life into your figures. there's some awkward paneling and camera choice issues as well, such as the thug's head disappearing into his crotch at the end of page 3. that's about mostly it, good outing on your first round, i'd really like to see more work from you!

This was a good matchup. I'm a fan of colored comics, so you both earned brownie points with me.

Leech'n'Qyz: I really liked the art... Most of the art in this comic. I liked the shading and the grainy texture to it all made it feel very desertish (that's now a word) to me. Even if it was unintentional, pretend that it was cause to me it went very very well with the setting. You had a lot of beautiful scenery (in the sense that it was well-drawn, not so much in the sense that it's where I'd want to live) and an awesome variety of camera angles. I'm particularly fond of the establishing shot for the town. The narrative could have used a bit more personality. It does a good job of setting things up, but doesn't seem to do any more than it needs to, which I'd say would be fine if you weren't currently in a competition. You want to grip people in EVERY comic, right now in particular. I'd like to get a better sense of how their personalities play off of one another, the similarities and the differences, and feel that dynamic in action.

Gibbo: Your art was good too. Some of the poses looked a little off-balance, but you took chances and stretched your legs and I respect that. Your comic was very funny and entertaining, but I'd be careful with all the pop culture references. Don't get me wrong, "Grenade, I choose you!" was easily the crowning moment in this comic as far as I'm concerned, but when half of your comic hinges on nods to Pokemon then your score will also ride on voters knowing and loving Pokemon. Know what I mean? For instance, I hate LMFAO and, had you done two full pages of lyrics from that song I would probably be biased against your comic simply because that song makes me feel like I'm being punched in the ears repeatedly (FYI, I did not hold it against you in this case, you used just enough to get the point across without turning it into a cheesy "the artist of this comic just really really loves this song" moment). You should work on your hands just a little bit. They actually look pretty good in the non-holding-things panels but all of your characters look like they make really loose fists. On page 3 the guy's thumb on his right hand should be overlapping his fingers (point like that right now, how he is, it's awkward) and... Actually his left hand should also be overlapping his fingers a bit more. It looks like his thumbs are one solid piece rather than two with a knuckle in between.

Overall, you both did very well. I ended up scoring you evenly overall, though you vary in what areas your strengths are. Bang up job. Keep improving because these characters are off to great starts.

Some little nitpicks, first for Team Harper:

One issue I noticed was your text boxes. It was cool to see the broken paper, but there were times when it either got too close to the text, or had too much space in between. Be careful about how you arrange your text in these boxes, so that you find a happy balance for readability and aesthetic appeal. Higher contrast in your shading will help your art really pop out, as well as define your figures more clearly. Practice with lighting from real life some more before your next battle, take some simple objects, place them under a single bright light source and draw them from different angles.

For Gibbo- Watch your balloon tails. There are a couple places where it points away from the character who's speaking (bottom left panel of page 3). Watch out for where those tails go, often they can be used to lead the reader towards whomever is speaking.

Good luck to you both. C:

Everyone has pretty much stated below my opinions so I will just add that I secretly wish these two would team up and go on adventures together because they seem like a fun pair.

Qyzex, this is an interesting change as far as style goes.  The colors were suited to a desert scenario but I don't know how I feel about the muddy shading.  The texture for the sand was an excellent touch but there's a bit of weakness with perspective and closeups.  Everything looks better when you have far shots but the closeups of the eyes and such are a bit weak because I feel like if you're zooming in, you need to tighten up on details.  The size of the eyes gets kind of crazy at times, too.  

Leech the story was an interesting start.  I'm going to refrain from saying anything with any definite criticism because I'd like to read more.  We got to know about the characters a bit and that's fine.  I don't know about the video game like save point ending since I'm not sure what about the character fits this sort of techy/video game-like aspect.  I would like to see some dialogue but I also wonder if you're purposefully relying on the narrator to tell the story and if we'll continue to see stories read like this.  

A fine start.

Gibbo, it was a fun quirky story and your figures are decent.  But the art feels a little empty.  You should decide on what else to fill the space with because it's all very flat.  Even if you're just going to use flat colors, some sort of texture, shading, etc. would be nice.  Even so this was a pretty decent and finished entry.  Just keep at it and welcome to Void.

Gibbo: "When I walk in the spot (yeah) This is what I see..." <--- That earned points right there.

That was a fun comic to read, Gibbo. good job!

Not sure how successful the panel layout was on page 3, though. The other pages were fine, but the composition was a bit off on that one.

Gibbo: Very cute and silly, enjoy your expressions and sense of movement. Could definitely benefit from some shading and/or more detailed inking. Overall a good first match! I look forward to seeing more of your work. [:

Leech: I liked the story approach you guys took, it was neat to see something different. I feel a lot of the shading looks mucky, but it's definitely something you should keep working with in the future. The writing was okay- with the lack of dialogue, you guys could really have benefited from more expressive writing.

Leech/Q you guys were pretty cool with the alternate character interpretation, and I enjoyed the colors/textures as well. I was kinda disappointed by the buildings, but I am not one to complain about non-detailed bgs.

Gibbo, I really liked yours as well. I would've loved to see some shading or something in there, but overall I enjoyed it. I lol'd at the first page.

Gibbo:
"grenade, I choose you!" Bwahahaha! Love it!

Leech-Seed and Qyzex;
your comic feels alot like something that should be an illustrated story. The lack of any dialogue/sfx.

Is the story meant to be told in past tense? Because without a "this is my story" or something similar to indicate the narrator is telling a past story the narration jars with the art. We see it and we go "oh this is happening" but then we get thrown words like 'seemed' and 'was'. On a further note, I don't think anyone actually dying of dehydration would go "as if on cue", which reinforces the earlier problem.

I love how you've adapted your opponents character, one of my favourite things about how stuff can go down on VOID is how characters can be converted into different genres. I love the sand and the textures, but some of the panels are downright sloppy. The third one on page 2 for instance, where your opponent is introduced.

You could definitely have pushed the perspectives from the flying carpet ALOT more. The buildings themselves are also rather dull and uninteresting, but I can understand that being a side effect of a writer artist duo (I assume the artist would get less time over all?).

Overall, enjoyable!


Gibbo;

That first panel man, I love it. I really like how you introduced your opponents character. I especially like how you've forced yourself to try new angles right off the bat. BUT.  You don't seem to use these again, with most of the shots being straight on at eye level. You really could have pushed the uh, combat? part of this with some more intense perspectives.

You also need to be very clear with where your speech bubbles are going. When Grenade Guy comes in, he says "you dented my -", but the tail leads off to the upper panel and so it implies that Azelle is saying it.

When GG is blasted off, there's no scorch marks on the building the grenade went off next to, which makes the environment seem static and video game like.  I do like the work you put into your backgrounds, but it can be wasted with some of the angles you chose.

On wiggle wiggle wig* you have an asterix, which generally means a footnote somewhere which I went and hunted for. If you mean that it should be a curr off wiggle, then a "wig-" would do fine.

My final point is that we don't get much of an idea of Azelle's character. She's confused, maybe lost and willing to ask for help. However, you make it clear that Kete has an appreciation for bad music, enjoys dancing even in public (so is confident and not self concious), headstrong and springs into action without thinking. You make Kete the main character in your own work!

I'm personally not too fond of the slightly silly, comedy writing you have, but that's a personal preference. (I was never a huge pokémon fan so that doesn't help you there either).

Your opponent definitely has a stronger story, but I think you can really pull out some awesomew ork in your next battle.

Leech: I really liked the colour and style of your entry. I'm new to Void so I am still trying to wrap my head around the idea of non-violent or conflict involving battles, but I think you handled it well as that. I like that a story is being set, but I would have loved to see a little bit more interaction between the characters in your next round.

Gibbo: I really like the style of the entry but I wish there was a bit more substance or story to prop it up a little more strongly. I think I would have preferred to read something a little more fleshed out than as a full colour piece.When we got to the action scenes the backgrounds disappearing made it a little hard to perceive what was happening, so the pacing flubbed a little. But I did find it a fun read.

wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle, YEAH!

Leech i wish there was more interaction in this, like actually talking instead of a summary.

Gibbo, i like the pokemon reference but im a bit thrown back, im not a fan of comics that use other stuff to make way `\(O_O)/` thats just my preference though.

Leech: To me I feel that your composition and your colouring was the strong point in your entry, and though I felt like the narration was a bit rigid and plain it was still a rounded off story so that's good. It'd be nice to see some actual dialgoue next time - just because I want to 'hear' Kete actually talk.

Gibbo: Funny and cute but I felt like it wasn't really that strong in enough story (But hey, 1 week deadlines - they're tough!) You have a nice style but try adding a bit more dynamics and varied camera angles. Your dialogue made me smile but I'm not a huge fan of gaming pop-culture gimmicks in writing (But hey, I suppose everyone has a soft spot for Pokemon).

Great work both of you!

Qyzex and leech: I like your drawings Qysex, they seem.. peaceful somehow, very mellow.. As for the story it's ok, not much to write home about (pun not intended), but a solid effort nonetheless

Gibbo: Nice work, I liked the story and the dialogue very much, the pop-culture references and "sound-words" (ie. "explosion" instead of "BAMF") not so much..

Good work from both of you, this is one fight that will be hard to judge a winner from

Much appreciate it, and glad you got yours uploaded. I do intend to stick around indeed, can't bail out after only one battle, got much learning to do


I can neither confirm nor deny this occurence

C'mon, guys! Row row fight da powah!

Went onto leech-seed and uploaded. Enjoy. Last page is done by The writer.

Use ur wind magics! Umbrella are weak again wind!

I'm sorry for not being clear who the artist here was. I hope your comic shines, despite all the drama, and I hope you stick around.

Hey thanks Delya, that means a lot!

Glad to hear you finished, Gibbo. <3 Rough or polished, getting a submission done is key! You can always work on tightening your work when you have more time. Can't wait to read it!

Ugh, so tired...

I notice there are a few folks with the same situation as me, since it's Easter I'm going away for the long weekend, so needed to work like mad to get my submission done before I go. It's a little rougher than I'd hoped but overall I'm really happy with my first attempt at a VOID battle. Will check in on Monday!

Good luck!

Good luck everyone!

Wow, feeling more nervous about this than I thought I would! Thanks Leech-seed and much of the good luck to you too, hope to do your character justice.

Thanks RoflQu, gettin' started now!

Ohh, I'm excited! :3 Good luck, Gibbo! Let's have fun!

Hey, good luck you two! Get drawing and make some super comics!