Hunter / Merry Softshoe
Critiques & Comments
# 6
Posted:
Nov 15 2019, 02:35 PM
The plot thickens in Merry's sordid showbiz tale. The body language is especially good. I felt pretty scared for Merry reading this. Their relationship is so.... complicated. I understand why the black and white toons are in greyscale, and I think the colored backgrounds are working, but sometimes they're a little jarring, especially, when it shifts from a mood background back to a greyscale background. It might have been better to give them all some bounce color or a tint, perhaps?
# 5
Posted:
Nov 12 2019, 10:32 PM
Your inks are amazing I always love how clean and vibrant they are. also these mood backgrounds are working out really well and i'm enjoying what you're doing with them. In terms of story maybe it's cause i know nothing about relationships, but I don't feel like Hunter is all that bad. It just seems like he's being shitty under stress, couples have bad times and can swear at at each other and this just feels like a low point of high stress rather than him being a toxic abuser manipulating Merry.
# 4
Posted:
Nov 12 2019, 02:56 PM
I think the quality you maintained throughout was really nice. It's clear you have something of a style/calling card with those colored 'mood' backgrounds in lieu of environment. I dunno if your color choices are deliberate or not, but I dig that the whole exchange between him and Hunter was 'green with envy' and Merry's swidnling hope over the bid plan was blue. I think this official introduction raises more questions than it answers. I could infer from earlier Merry comics this might be an agent of sorts, but for the tourney proper, I just assumed it was an angry boyfriend. Perhaps both?
I think the things I'd point out as avenues for improvement is your focal points page to page. You dedicate alotta space and panel size to scenes that ultimately don't do anything important- leaving little to minimal space for those shots that should really have more of an impact, but they don't because they''re so minimized. The best example is page 1 where you lend huge panel size to the establishing shot of the car and (of all things) a hand, but when we get to that unsettling build up where Hunter closes in on Merry, the panel is so small.
I think the things I'd point out as avenues for improvement is your focal points page to page. You dedicate alotta space and panel size to scenes that ultimately don't do anything important- leaving little to minimal space for those shots that should really have more of an impact, but they don't because they''re so minimized. The best example is page 1 where you lend huge panel size to the establishing shot of the car and (of all things) a hand, but when we get to that unsettling build up where Hunter closes in on Merry, the panel is so small.
# 3
Posted:
Nov 10 2019, 07:09 PM
Yesss finally an official introduction! It’s short and sweet, and you portray Hunter’s abusiveness very well imo. I really like the small details like Merry’s tail wagging at Hunter’s news, and the background slowly turning from washed out pink to more rosy, with the light shining behind Merry as Hunter switches up and starts to act more nicely towards him. I also really like the way you draw Hunter’s lip curling? Idk just like that kind of snaggly look, it adds to his devious feel.
I don’t think the colourful gradient backgrounds are working out too well though. I find them distracting and jarring most of the time. Like I said earlier, I think it works well in the pink panels and emphasises the emotion, but it happens too often and too abruptly for such a short comic. It also feels weird against the black and white characters, and sepia tones in the panels either side.
I don’t think the colourful gradient backgrounds are working out too well though. I find them distracting and jarring most of the time. Like I said earlier, I think it works well in the pink panels and emphasises the emotion, but it happens too often and too abruptly for such a short comic. It also feels weird against the black and white characters, and sepia tones in the panels either side.
# 2
Posted:
Nov 10 2019, 08:10 AM
This is really polished, I like it! I love the interaction between the pair, feels very genuine and real. It's really impressive you did all this in a week! The only panel that struck me as weird (and I only noticed it on my second read through) is the first panel on page 4 where it looks like they're stood up, inspite of being in a car. Though I get that it was probably for varietys sake. Oh and a minor thing that's silly to point out but I couldn't help but notice it was that there's no seatbelts in the car lol. Normally I wouldn't mention it but the whole scene was set in the car. Overall really cool! Enjoyed it a lot!
# 1
Posted:
Nov 10 2019, 08:07 AM
You called for a wolf?
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Nov 17th, 2019
Votes Cast:
15
Page Views:
1047
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That relationship can't be healthy... An dthe bastard that I am LOVES it, so much potential for drama and character arcs.