Gosh what a battle this was. Smut or not you both put out very high quality comics. Gorgeous art and dynamic anatomy that I can only dream of achieving at this point.
Don - Ooof the tension, the colors! OMG the colors. I already found myself lost in the thumbnails hahaha. You really touched on some tricky subjects here of abuse and comeuppance/revenge. I think it was executed beautifully. One thing though is that I had a hard time following the text sequence on page 17. AND AAAH ELI!! I screamed when I saw that old man hahaha IDK why. He's such an interesting character.
Franken - Whoa gurrrllll..I always admired your art and I love it even more. Your use of gradients to denote color is so well done I might have to try it myself! I find it interesting that you also went the 'corruption' arc (though I wouldn't say that Nae is an angel herself hehehe). I love how you showcased Enarbie's various forms during the sex scenes. The way you used angles and paneling here is very impressive. The crit I'd give here is that, something leaves me feel wanting more. I did not get to see more of Nae and Enarbie's unique personalities and true dynamic which Don showed more on their side.
But yeah most of that just sounds like nitpicking. You both did amazing. This is one smut battle that featured two of the most talented artists in Void in most recent years and thank you for indulging us!
this is the smut battle / Enarbie Fukui
Critiques & Comments
# 19
Posted:
Nov 28 2020, 05:18 PM
# 18
Posted:
Nov 28 2020, 01:23 PM
That was a really impressive battle :0 top-tier work, you guys are so skilled.
It was actually really tricky to compare these two comics because they felt like completely different beasts.
Franken- You had a really no-nonsense setup, I like the fact you didn't just leap straight into explicit scenes. The build-up helped make the pay off more satisfying. There's not much to say about the story here, I think it really effectively served its purpose so great job.
Art wise- well I can tell you've done this type of comic before haha xD the art was so confident and really well-drawn. I also loved how you used colours to emphasis the moods and create contrast between the monk scenes and Naialah's encounter with Enarbie. The layout on page 4 was excellent as well, that was such a good transitional page.
Don- As usual, your art is wonderful- you have such a unique style it's always a pleasure to see. In this comic I particularly enjoyed the background establishing shots, I'm starting to clock how different your world-building approach is for Naialah's comics & it's got me so hype.
Storywise- The writing was fantastic - this was fascinating & unsettling character study with a very interesting, toxic "relationship" at the heart of it.
In terms of set-up/ scenario, this REALLY worked for me as a physiological drama, buuut as a smut comic? Not so much. The context of drugging and torture behind the sex scene gave them an unsettling edge for me, which I found unsexy but intriguing & complex from a storytelling point of view- I could honestly write an essay about this but I'll leave it there.
TL;DR I thought negative tension was building...but I think it was supposed to just be sexual tension??
I will say as well I loved both of these comics equally but for completely different reasons. This was very difficult to vote on. ;_;
It was actually really tricky to compare these two comics because they felt like completely different beasts.
Franken- You had a really no-nonsense setup, I like the fact you didn't just leap straight into explicit scenes. The build-up helped make the pay off more satisfying. There's not much to say about the story here, I think it really effectively served its purpose so great job.
Art wise- well I can tell you've done this type of comic before haha xD the art was so confident and really well-drawn. I also loved how you used colours to emphasis the moods and create contrast between the monk scenes and Naialah's encounter with Enarbie. The layout on page 4 was excellent as well, that was such a good transitional page.
Don- As usual, your art is wonderful- you have such a unique style it's always a pleasure to see. In this comic I particularly enjoyed the background establishing shots, I'm starting to clock how different your world-building approach is for Naialah's comics & it's got me so hype.
Storywise- The writing was fantastic - this was fascinating & unsettling character study with a very interesting, toxic "relationship" at the heart of it.
In terms of set-up/ scenario, this REALLY worked for me as a physiological drama, buuut as a smut comic? Not so much. The context of drugging and torture behind the sex scene gave them an unsettling edge for me, which I found unsexy but intriguing & complex from a storytelling point of view- I could honestly write an essay about this but I'll leave it there.
TL;DR I thought negative tension was building...but I think it was supposed to just be sexual tension??
I will say as well I loved both of these comics equally but for completely different reasons. This was very difficult to vote on. ;_;
# 17
Posted:
Nov 28 2020, 06:17 AM
"smut"
we have been summoned.
This good smut. Don's is beautiful and fucked up, Toon's is beautiful and hot. You are both winner in my heart. Very nice use of colour all around. Very nice use of sexy demon and ghostflesh hottie. We thank you both for these delicious offerings.
if only we could change junk at will ;n;
we have been summoned.
This good smut. Don's is beautiful and fucked up, Toon's is beautiful and hot. You are both winner in my heart. Very nice use of colour all around. Very nice use of sexy demon and ghostflesh hottie. We thank you both for these delicious offerings.
if only we could change junk at will ;n;
# 16
Posted:
Nov 28 2020, 12:26 AM
I'm so conflicted on this. One of these had a great story, but was lean on the smut. The other had great smut, but wasn't quite there with story. The title of this battle alone sort of leaves the 'winner' of this leaning one way, but hotdamn if I'm not a sucker for the unique themes on both accounts. I DIDNT EXPECT to actually have to read and be invested in a story with tits and dicks you guys. >=[ What is this
FRANKEN- I think colors were definitely your strength here. The acidy almost painful neon nature to it could be so easily be obnoxious and too much, but they really worked here. The drug trip and Naenae's downward spiral sort of reflected in the descending weight and movement of the action from page 4 to 5 was great. The mingling of all that color with the use of gray to 'snap us back' to reality was a great visual tell. I especially loved it on the last page where Naneane's monk life is so drab, but the lights of the club (or just outside? I can't really tell where she is) are ever bright and glowing. Enarbie's and Asra's body mingling where you couldn't quite tell who was who had to be my favorite part.
I'm curious as to your leanings on more Abrahamic visual markers of depicting Naenae's monkhood rather than the eastern fantasy elements Don established.
By way of crit, I wish there was sound effects in this. Some manner of visceral punch to the smutty vignettes, or a heavy thumping beat in the club scene. Something to add to the overwhelming or oppressive nature of the comic before it built to climax. I'd also take a look at finding some more creative fonts, or even making your own. That 'aah' on the bottom of page 8 in just plain text stands out from your style in such a anti climactic way (which is ironic considering). It's just sorta...there while its surrounded by an artstyle and and look which is psychedelic and out there. It should have font to match. Something juicy or even swirly to match with the trail of makes what should be such a colorful moment kind of Enarbie's hair. As it stands, the fonts just feel tacked on after the fact.
It's also clear your comfort zone is hot hourglass ladies. It almost feels like you tried to fit Naneane into that look, but that just isnt the characters bodytype. Drawing bigger and even fatter people isn't easy, and artistic reference for such even more scant, but I'd definitely keep pushing in that way to expand your variety.
DON- Upon first read, I'll have to admit my first thought was much the same as some of the previous comments here- this wasn't a smut comic. At least not in the traditional sense. Historically, most smut comics on the site follow a tried and true formula- a chance meeting, some knowing glances and then we get to the good stuff. But I peeked in on 'what makes a smut comic' debate goin on in the discord, and the opposing views I read got me giving this comic a second look. And yeah, I think it is a smut comic. Lean indeed on smut, but you came at it from a different format that needed copious set up in order to get your payoff. It also dealt with themes that went beyond the tried and true method into territory we've rarely seen and kind of informed naenae as a character in a chilling if not captivating way.
I know traditional 'cute svelte gals' isn't your comfort zone, so I have to laud your efforts here. Enarbie looks utterly femme and sultry once the clothing comes off.
Also your sound effects here were great. That vomit SFX was disgusting and the impact of the gun hitting naenae upside the head was..oof I could feel that. The drug haze splash page has to be the only time I enjoyed being confused? It makes sense considering the circumstances as your character is also lost and disoriented. I'm just given the luxury of poring over the panels in order to determine whats what. nd even then, I dig its not a big picture, its snippets.
By way of crit, the alternate world you've established is so so good, I really wish the drugs and weaponry used was more reflective of the universe. When I think of Enarbie drugging someone in this world I had hoped for the haze of an opium den, ergot fungus, blue lotuses, mad honey. Old world and high fantasy stuff as opposed to a syringe. Same for the gun. It was an odd nod to modern age I didn't see reflected anywhere else in the comic. I think the biggest upset was the stranger on the last page rolling up in a station wagon. All modern elements I think would've tracked if they'd thematically been blended into what you're making here, but as it stands, just feel tacked on.
You two really brought it and have such a distinct and unique style that stands on its own. Honestly this is gonna be a tough vote
FRANKEN- I think colors were definitely your strength here. The acidy almost painful neon nature to it could be so easily be obnoxious and too much, but they really worked here. The drug trip and Naenae's downward spiral sort of reflected in the descending weight and movement of the action from page 4 to 5 was great. The mingling of all that color with the use of gray to 'snap us back' to reality was a great visual tell. I especially loved it on the last page where Naneane's monk life is so drab, but the lights of the club (or just outside? I can't really tell where she is) are ever bright and glowing. Enarbie's and Asra's body mingling where you couldn't quite tell who was who had to be my favorite part.
I'm curious as to your leanings on more Abrahamic visual markers of depicting Naenae's monkhood rather than the eastern fantasy elements Don established.
By way of crit, I wish there was sound effects in this. Some manner of visceral punch to the smutty vignettes, or a heavy thumping beat in the club scene. Something to add to the overwhelming or oppressive nature of the comic before it built to climax. I'd also take a look at finding some more creative fonts, or even making your own. That 'aah' on the bottom of page 8 in just plain text stands out from your style in such a anti climactic way (which is ironic considering). It's just sorta...there while its surrounded by an artstyle and and look which is psychedelic and out there. It should have font to match. Something juicy or even swirly to match with the trail of makes what should be such a colorful moment kind of Enarbie's hair. As it stands, the fonts just feel tacked on after the fact.
It's also clear your comfort zone is hot hourglass ladies. It almost feels like you tried to fit Naneane into that look, but that just isnt the characters bodytype. Drawing bigger and even fatter people isn't easy, and artistic reference for such even more scant, but I'd definitely keep pushing in that way to expand your variety.
DON- Upon first read, I'll have to admit my first thought was much the same as some of the previous comments here- this wasn't a smut comic. At least not in the traditional sense. Historically, most smut comics on the site follow a tried and true formula- a chance meeting, some knowing glances and then we get to the good stuff. But I peeked in on 'what makes a smut comic' debate goin on in the discord, and the opposing views I read got me giving this comic a second look. And yeah, I think it is a smut comic. Lean indeed on smut, but you came at it from a different format that needed copious set up in order to get your payoff. It also dealt with themes that went beyond the tried and true method into territory we've rarely seen and kind of informed naenae as a character in a chilling if not captivating way.
I know traditional 'cute svelte gals' isn't your comfort zone, so I have to laud your efforts here. Enarbie looks utterly femme and sultry once the clothing comes off.
Also your sound effects here were great. That vomit SFX was disgusting and the impact of the gun hitting naenae upside the head was..oof I could feel that. The drug haze splash page has to be the only time I enjoyed being confused? It makes sense considering the circumstances as your character is also lost and disoriented. I'm just given the luxury of poring over the panels in order to determine whats what. nd even then, I dig its not a big picture, its snippets.
By way of crit, the alternate world you've established is so so good, I really wish the drugs and weaponry used was more reflective of the universe. When I think of Enarbie drugging someone in this world I had hoped for the haze of an opium den, ergot fungus, blue lotuses, mad honey. Old world and high fantasy stuff as opposed to a syringe. Same for the gun. It was an odd nod to modern age I didn't see reflected anywhere else in the comic. I think the biggest upset was the stranger on the last page rolling up in a station wagon. All modern elements I think would've tracked if they'd thematically been blended into what you're making here, but as it stands, just feel tacked on.
You two really brought it and have such a distinct and unique style that stands on its own. Honestly this is gonna be a tough vote
# 15
Posted:
Nov 24 2020, 08:14 PM
Even though I'm furry trash I hope my crits for this smut battle can help.
Don: I really love the worldbuilding and lore you are doing with this character and this version of void. It's a cool interpitation of void. This comic has good clarity even in the drug trip parts. I wasn't lost reading it which is something you have had issues with in the past so good job in that department. Also it goes without saying your art is great and this is a really good comic.
However This is supposed to be a smut battle, and this comic isn't really a smut comic. The smut in this comic while well done doesn't fully match with the themes or the mood of the rest of the comic. The dynamic you establish between the two in the story parts doesn't show in the smut parts. the sex scenes should sell us on the dynamic that was established before or match the themes.
There is an abusive aspect between the two and you could have shown that in the sex by making it more aggressive and doing things like pulling the scene out and giving us more views of the room, this pushes the reader away from the scene and can give off feeling distance and a lack of passion in the sex.
There could have also been more trippy scenes like the ones on page 11 to show how much of a blur this whole thing and how much of a mess it is. Also for intimate moments you should have a couple close ups reacting to the sexual actions. Also one of them being heavily drugged would definitely effect the actual sex and it isn't really reflected in this scene.
The sex aspects in the smut comic should be able to tell the story by themselves or at least tell us about the characters dynamics with each other. However the sex in this comic is displaced from everything. with the bigger story in the comic you could have replaced the sex with regular torture scenes and it wouldn't have changed much in this story.
All that being said this is honestly one of the best comics I have seen from you, it's just not too great of a smut comic. Would be awesome to see you do this again.
Franken: this is a really good smut comic, the colors and paneling really sell this feeling of Nai getting corrupted and going down a different path. I would have liked to see some shading in the bright colored parts to help make the colors pop out more and give the figures a bit more dynamism as well as lighting areas of focus. Your figures and posing is amazing in this comic.
The lead up to the climax shot was some great build up, however the actual climax shot left something to be desired. I think it's because all your poses in this are so good that the straight on shot of NRB doesn't feel dynamic enough. Also this may just be preferences, but that cumshot felt weak and should have more of a shot to it. All that being said it is a good problem to have since it just means all your other poses were also so amazing.
I hope you plan on doing more smut comics because this is really good and I want to see you push yourself even more with this.
Don: I really love the worldbuilding and lore you are doing with this character and this version of void. It's a cool interpitation of void. This comic has good clarity even in the drug trip parts. I wasn't lost reading it which is something you have had issues with in the past so good job in that department. Also it goes without saying your art is great and this is a really good comic.
However This is supposed to be a smut battle, and this comic isn't really a smut comic. The smut in this comic while well done doesn't fully match with the themes or the mood of the rest of the comic. The dynamic you establish between the two in the story parts doesn't show in the smut parts. the sex scenes should sell us on the dynamic that was established before or match the themes.
There is an abusive aspect between the two and you could have shown that in the sex by making it more aggressive and doing things like pulling the scene out and giving us more views of the room, this pushes the reader away from the scene and can give off feeling distance and a lack of passion in the sex.
There could have also been more trippy scenes like the ones on page 11 to show how much of a blur this whole thing and how much of a mess it is. Also for intimate moments you should have a couple close ups reacting to the sexual actions. Also one of them being heavily drugged would definitely effect the actual sex and it isn't really reflected in this scene.
The sex aspects in the smut comic should be able to tell the story by themselves or at least tell us about the characters dynamics with each other. However the sex in this comic is displaced from everything. with the bigger story in the comic you could have replaced the sex with regular torture scenes and it wouldn't have changed much in this story.
All that being said this is honestly one of the best comics I have seen from you, it's just not too great of a smut comic. Would be awesome to see you do this again.
Franken: this is a really good smut comic, the colors and paneling really sell this feeling of Nai getting corrupted and going down a different path. I would have liked to see some shading in the bright colored parts to help make the colors pop out more and give the figures a bit more dynamism as well as lighting areas of focus. Your figures and posing is amazing in this comic.
The lead up to the climax shot was some great build up, however the actual climax shot left something to be desired. I think it's because all your poses in this are so good that the straight on shot of NRB doesn't feel dynamic enough. Also this may just be preferences, but that cumshot felt weak and should have more of a shot to it. All that being said it is a good problem to have since it just means all your other poses were also so amazing.
I hope you plan on doing more smut comics because this is really good and I want to see you push yourself even more with this.
# 14
Posted:
Nov 22 2020, 02:45 PM
YOO both were so damn GOOD- definitely worth reading them several times skgfdnfg
I feel underqualified to critique but I'll do me best because holy shitttt
DON:
The story was really engaging! Loved to see more insight into NaeNae's thinking process, their beliefs and overall demeanor. The subtle hints at Nrb's dark undertones were so so GOOD. The tiny needle hole in the food she hands NaeNae, the blood soaked basket on Nrb's back...and so many more little details that talk volumes- really really good shitttt. The GuroGirls on page 7 was INSANEEE, same with page 11, you went OFF! Your backgounds and colors are insane, I know exactly what kind of vibe you wanted to give every scene, you nailed it every time. The ending left me wanting to see where their story is going!
I gotta admit that I was a little thrown off by the small amount of smut in a smut battle- but the story definitely makes up for it!
FRANKEN:
THE COLORS IN THIS ARE INSANEEE. Loved the bit where NaeNae first notices Nrb's souls- and the MELTING when they first take the drugs!! I'm super impressed by the amount of effort and thought you put in even the background characters. The smut was so tasteful and such a treat to the eyes! The positions were super dynamic and flowy, the angles you went for were so damn pleasing to the eyes and honestly I have no idea how your mind works to present such great poses and angles- the psychedelic color choices were out of this world. Page 7 looks like a goddamn painting, I can't stop looking at it! The switching between Nrb and Asra was chef's kiss. Your sense of aesthetic, poses and THAT PANEL ARRANGEMENTTTT, it's absolutely gorgeous, it was such a feast for the eyes... THAT ENDING TOOOO- NaeNae corruption arc start!!
YOU BOTH DID SO DAMN GOOOD, you guys raised the bar HARD with smut battles! Super mega good job to the two of you, this is a comic a lot of people will definitely go back to!
I feel underqualified to critique but I'll do me best because holy shitttt
DON:
The story was really engaging! Loved to see more insight into NaeNae's thinking process, their beliefs and overall demeanor. The subtle hints at Nrb's dark undertones were so so GOOD. The tiny needle hole in the food she hands NaeNae, the blood soaked basket on Nrb's back...and so many more little details that talk volumes- really really good shitttt. The GuroGirls on page 7 was INSANEEE, same with page 11, you went OFF! Your backgounds and colors are insane, I know exactly what kind of vibe you wanted to give every scene, you nailed it every time. The ending left me wanting to see where their story is going!
I gotta admit that I was a little thrown off by the small amount of smut in a smut battle- but the story definitely makes up for it!
FRANKEN:
THE COLORS IN THIS ARE INSANEEE. Loved the bit where NaeNae first notices Nrb's souls- and the MELTING when they first take the drugs!! I'm super impressed by the amount of effort and thought you put in even the background characters. The smut was so tasteful and such a treat to the eyes! The positions were super dynamic and flowy, the angles you went for were so damn pleasing to the eyes and honestly I have no idea how your mind works to present such great poses and angles- the psychedelic color choices were out of this world. Page 7 looks like a goddamn painting, I can't stop looking at it! The switching between Nrb and Asra was chef's kiss. Your sense of aesthetic, poses and THAT PANEL ARRANGEMENTTTT, it's absolutely gorgeous, it was such a feast for the eyes... THAT ENDING TOOOO- NaeNae corruption arc start!!
YOU BOTH DID SO DAMN GOOOD, you guys raised the bar HARD with smut battles! Super mega good job to the two of you, this is a comic a lot of people will definitely go back to!
# 13
Posted:
Nov 21 2020, 02:04 PM
This sure was a smut battle. Phew.
I will vote and comment after I properly digested it. But damn, you both fucking brought it.
I will vote and comment after I properly digested it. But damn, you both fucking brought it.
honestly my only complaint is some of the backgrounds feeling a little bare.
# 11
Posted:
Oct 25 2020, 07:03 PM
They tried to stay on schedule
but it was too hard
but it was too hard
# 10
Posted:
Oct 25 2020, 06:21 PM
EXPAND DONG
# 9
Posted:
Oct 25 2020, 05:48 PM
hehe
extension
extension
# 8
Posted:
Oct 17 2020, 08:10 PM
More like BEST OF FUCK
# 7
Posted:
Oct 17 2020, 01:58 PM
Oh boy, y'all are already getting into it?! Best of luck!!!
# 6
Posted:
Oct 17 2020, 01:20 AM
All I can say is thank you.
# 5
Posted:
Oct 16 2020, 09:19 PM
I wanna say I'm surprised my first official battle is a smut battle- but I'm not.
IMMA GIVE IT MY ALL GUYS, THANKS DON FOR TAKIN ME UP ON THIS <3<3
IMMA GIVE IT MY ALL GUYS, THANKS DON FOR TAKIN ME UP ON THIS <3<3
# 4
Posted:
Oct 16 2020, 05:48 AM
Y'all are about to make the entire site thirsty.
# 3
Posted:
Oct 16 2020, 03:31 AM
Broooooo
# 2
Posted:
Oct 16 2020, 02:23 AM
There will be deaths
It's me
This battle will end me.
My life will stop
It's me
This battle will end me.
My life will stop
# 1
Posted:
Oct 16 2020, 02:20 AM
YEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!! GEEETINTOOO IIIITTTT!!!
Comic Details
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
3 weeks
Ended:
Nov 28th, 2020
Votes Cast:
19
Page Views:
1972
Winner:
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