LOL. Raven's internal monologue seems to be a thing with her. Even when I roleplay her, she is very...uh..introspective. While in the past, I did insert them awkwardly from time to time (and I noted that and will try to be more mindful of it in the future), in this comic it's both coincidental and intentional.

Part of Raven's personality is her being curious about other people (that severely conflicts with her desire for isolation) and Miller fascinates her in more ways than one  - hence the asking of questions. We see a glimpse of Raven through her thoughts while we get to know Miller through his spoken words. All this while their actions show their growing friendship and desire to help each other. Both have recently suffered losses (Raven losing Rocio and Miller being severed from Vektran hive mind) and found a much needed comfort and kindred spirit with one another.

Snager also said it well, Raven is sort of the reader insert here even though these are questions she'd say on her own herself (ie totally in character lol).

In closing, thank you everyone for taking the time to vote, read and/or comment on this collab. Really appreciate all the helpful input and insights as well as sharing how you felt about the story/characters/comic. I learned a lot working on it, particularly to not be scared of backgrounds lol. I am starting to appreciate more how much they add to the story.

Pyras, pleasure working with you as always. You and I both know this wont be the last and I am looking forward to making more comics with you (or against you lol) in the future.

Don, Kozi - you taking the time  to read and giving us your feedback on the script are very much appreciated . Thank you very much!

And with that, here's one more art Pyras and I worked together on. A glimpse  of what the future might bring for Miller and Raven.

 

I read this whole thing like 'meh' until Rocio found the note. AND THREW IT AWAY? oh no, my heart. I was tsundere the whole time. I played myself.

It's nice to see a character who has a history being in silly comics trying to mature both in the world he lives in and also in a meta way. Not that I don't expect him to get back out there and do doctor who adventures again, but it's nice to see such an adult story. Also, it's not even ABOUT him. it's about Raven. they're helping each other out but the reader insert is Raven, which is good.

other than the characterization, the art is really luscious and it's so nice to see a fully rendered environment, especially one that isn't a battle dome or pavement-scape.

I don't know if there's anything else I can add here that's already been said. I like seeing these quiet dives into both Raven and Miller, and Rivana's rendering works pretty well with Pyras' lines. As always, I'm curious to see how these sandbox meetings will eventually manifest in the waking world or what further development these two will have. Keep it up!

This was very good, very professional.
I enjoyed reading it and found the sandbox element very interesting. Even though one’s memory is wiped when waking up, is there some kind of  impact that the sandbox has on the regular world or is it a distinctly separate reality?

The visuals where beautiful and the dialogue and monologue worked well together to give the reader a good picture of the relationship between Miller and Raven.

very good job!

Gorgeous art, the inks and colours harmonize into such a unique and appealing art style. I loved it!
Certain panels really stuck out for me - that sequence at the start of page 5 was particularly adorable. I also must say, in the past, I found the sandbox to be a little uninspiring visually, but in this comic, I think it lives up to its potential much more. Replacing the empty white patches in the background with that soothing violet colour creates a much more calming, dream-like atmosphere.
The background art on page 7 was a treat as well, seeing the stage and piano rumble into existence was great. The location felt like a character in itself, I dug it.

Miller and Raven have a sweet, almost awkward chemistry which I found pretty enjoyable- I'm keen to see these two finally meet in the real world.

This isn't really a crit, but I'll admit after I finished this comic the tragic romantic in me crawled out. I found myself wishing for a goodbye scene. These two have no control over the sandbox/ when they see each other & they're clearly catching feelings. I imagine the point where they have to leave or are involuntarily thrust out of the location could be a sad one. After all for all they know at that moment, they might never see each other again. I kind of want to see how these characters handle those kinds of emotional revelations and fears.  
Anyway, I'll kick the tragic romantic back into her hole. Don't mind me.

All in all, this was an excellent comic. I really hope you two keep collaborating for future instalments!

Oh god I completely missed the namedrop, sorry! Like I read it, but I could’ve sworn she’d told other people before. I thought it was just the piano playing and didn’t think that was much of a secret.

I like how this comic turned out, it shows strengths of both of your styles and they blend well in this comic.
I do think the narration by raven was overdone. when Raven keeps telling us how she is feeling it distances us a bit since we don't get to experience it with her and try to interpt what she's thinking. but this is still a really great comic.

Ten outta ten top ohteepee would reccomend five stars

Hey this was a really good story.  You two are finding your stride when it comes working together.  It actually reads really well considering this comic was an adaptation of an rp that happened why back last year ten years ago.  The only real thing that felt out of place for me was Raven's narration.  It's still more of just telling us what's going on instead of showing.  I would have liked to see much of their developing relationship shown as scenes instead of montages.  But as I read I think that's more of a thing Raven talks to herself like since her unique style of speech is not something other characters do ( even in VCV).

This does feel more like a Miller story than a Raven's, it being his first tale after arma if i'm not mistaken.
This being like the third of fourth sandbox adventure Raven's had I'd like to see her do more than that to actually advance her story.  VCV was a good diversion since it got her interacting with others for once.  But even in that one she wasn't in her right mind for most of the comic.  I guess what I'm saying is that Raven hasn't really shown much of her own agency and mostly spends her time in another dimension repeatedly pining over miller or just wondering where rocio is in void city.  I think it's time you start giving Raven more of an active role in her own stories other than allowing others dictate it for her.

HHH they are absolutely ADORABLE- Seeing Raven blushing like that was so cute! I've been itching to see these two interact for the longest time, and I'm so happy to see them sharing a space and chatting away like this! Miller's efforts to be more open and trusting in a "safe space" like the sandbox is really refreshing, too!
The montage of them doing different activities together really warmed my heart.
The theatre shot was super impressive!! Absolutely loved it! Pianos are a bitch to draw, too.
The ending was very bittersweet and left me wanting for more of these two! Amazing collab!!

I LOVED THIS SO MUCH OH MY GOD THE WHOLE TIME GOT ME LIKE "THEY SO CUTE I LOVE IT."

It's so cool seeing how the Sandbox idea has evolved into this really cool method of exploring character developments with a lot less restriction, and you guys nail it every time! I don't have anything to critique because I adore you both and am still gushing over this very slowly blossoming romance. Keep that slow burn going!!! And as is to be expected, the art and story telling was incredible, another EXCELLENT collaboration from you guys!!

Thanks for the comment/crit Cy! I will  look up that comic when I get the chance.

Just wanted to quickly share what secrets Raven was particularly referring to that she revealed to Miller thus far:

This was a nice comic! Your styles went together really well; I didn’t expect Py’s more stylised characters to go with Rivana’s detailed rendering, but it was very pleasing to look at. The colours were lovely, I especially liked page 3 with those transitions from blue to yellow in the background. It was interesting to hear Miller’s thoughts on arts and creativity, I absolutely love peeks into character’s psyches.

Speaking of the psyche, it was odd to see Miller given this kind of exploration but not Raven, especially when her thoughts are the ones we can actually “hear”. Those thoughts are mostly exposition or Miller-centred, and much of her dialogue is asking Miller questions. I’m reminded of another collab in which two people have a sort of deep talk, with one teaching the other to play piano by the end - Interlude by Cats and Badger. I don’t really have the wherewithal rn to break it down and compare it to yours (I’m not sure you’d even be up to hear, haha*), but that comic did a really good job of balancing the two characters and revealing things about both of them. From an in-character standpoint, Raven says she’s spilling all these secrets to Miller, but she isn’t. It’s the other way round. She and Miller are supposed to both be curious about the other, but that curiosity seems one-sided, as it is Raven becoming “intoxicated” by him. Then again, maybe that was intentional on your part? I guess we’ll have to see how their relationship develops in future comics!

*But if you are hmu later I love analyses :praying emoji:

Finally done!

For page 8:

SOOON!!!

Pyras and I wanted an annihilation match. We chickened out and decided to collab instead.

=00 !!

HYPED!!!