Fluffs - Love your linework here! And OMG..showing us Gus' true form just totally threw me off (in a good way!). I really love that you gave us more about Rickter and Gus's background here. I always knew he was more than just a trash man and this just delights me.
Rehn- You really gave a lot of effort in this battle and it shows. Love what you did with the story and the clever use of Charlamagne's time stopping abilities. 'Unfreezing' the lady while Rickter held her like a makeshift weapon just gave me a good laugh. Continue working on getting good at the foundations (anatomy, lighting, etc) and I am very confident that you'll get much much better in no time. You're doing great!
It's Whats Inside That Counts / Rickter & Gus vs. Charlamagne
Critiques & Comments
# 13
Posted:
Aug 9 2021, 05:53 AM
# 12
Posted:
Aug 7 2021, 10:17 AM
Wow I love both sides of this battle and it is a really fun read.
You two did great considering the time you guys had and it really shows your strengths and story telling capabilities.
Can't wait to see more of these two characters in the near future!
You two did great considering the time you guys had and it really shows your strengths and story telling capabilities.
Can't wait to see more of these two characters in the near future!
# 11
Posted:
Aug 6 2021, 01:23 PM
Both of these scar matches were really fun to read, nice work! : )
Fluff- Your line work look really nice in this, and I love the body horror Gus provides in this. I'm so excited to see more of Rickter's story!
Steal- I like your use of monochrome colors with splashes of bright colors for contrast! I'm definitely interested in seeing what else you do with Charlamagne.
Fluff- Your line work look really nice in this, and I love the body horror Gus provides in this. I'm so excited to see more of Rickter's story!
Steal- I like your use of monochrome colors with splashes of bright colors for contrast! I'm definitely interested in seeing what else you do with Charlamagne.
# 10
Posted:
Aug 5 2021, 11:18 AM
First off, awesome fight y'all! Loved both sides!!
Fluff - your inks are real nice, I love the line variation where its happening, and the solid black areas are real nice where they've been added in - I really think the last panel on page 1 leading into the first panel of page 2 are my faves in the whole comic they look SO GOOD and tie in super well from one to the next!
Where you have the background work it looks good, I think you had more probably sketched out and ended up just trying to nail all the focal points as time went on, that first panel on page 1 really set the scene and we kind of started to lose it through some pages, but you kept bringing it back and keeping it consistent.
Page 3 I got a little lost right at the start, I had to re-read a few times before I processed who was where, I get what you were going for and I think as those panels continued, despite being smaller, you kept it clean enough that everything made sense. Maybe just some broadening or elongation of the wing, showing a different side of it or really playing with that shape could have helped convey it a bit better, it was a little trip for me and then you caught it and kept it going strong.
The last few pages tbh I just straight up enjoyed, great wind down from the action, nice giving 'space' for the moment to happen, love it!
Rehn - You went HARD on this friend, this is my intro to Charlemagne and you pulled out all the stops with those angles and the pagecount, and the backgrounds. I definitely agree with Cydork that there was a chunk of close-up action that was a bit muddy (I fall into the same trap, I get you), pulling that camera out, or retooling some things "do I need to show this or can I get away with saying it?" or vice versa) can help, and I really, really love when you pulled the camera out and gave use scenes like page 2 panel 1, page 6 panel 1, and the last panel on page 3. Places where the characters really fill the space and also have some breathing room!
The only downside for me is the values, all of the pages are overall very dark, and some of them end up looking a little flat with some very dark not quite black fills next to some also very dark but not as-dark not-blacks. When you started adding in those accent colours I thought it was really impactful, you introduce the red with Charlemagne and he kind of takes over the power seat, then you get the blue coming in and it takes over the red AS charlemagne's being overpowered in that moment, it's a really great use of limited colour! I do wish the wings were kept closer to white in those scenes, I almost didn't recognize what they were at first because of the change over - colour can do a lot of informing so the sudden switchout gave me a hard time, and with the midrange grey to dark greys, I was missing that brightness even with the vibrant blue!
There was a ton of creativity in how you handled the actual battle, I really enjoyed reading through! What you did in a week is HARD and your effort is really showing and paying off, I hope you're taking good care of that wrist and pampering it cause it worked hard for you!
Fluff - your inks are real nice, I love the line variation where its happening, and the solid black areas are real nice where they've been added in - I really think the last panel on page 1 leading into the first panel of page 2 are my faves in the whole comic they look SO GOOD and tie in super well from one to the next!
Where you have the background work it looks good, I think you had more probably sketched out and ended up just trying to nail all the focal points as time went on, that first panel on page 1 really set the scene and we kind of started to lose it through some pages, but you kept bringing it back and keeping it consistent.
Page 3 I got a little lost right at the start, I had to re-read a few times before I processed who was where, I get what you were going for and I think as those panels continued, despite being smaller, you kept it clean enough that everything made sense. Maybe just some broadening or elongation of the wing, showing a different side of it or really playing with that shape could have helped convey it a bit better, it was a little trip for me and then you caught it and kept it going strong.
The last few pages tbh I just straight up enjoyed, great wind down from the action, nice giving 'space' for the moment to happen, love it!
Rehn - You went HARD on this friend, this is my intro to Charlemagne and you pulled out all the stops with those angles and the pagecount, and the backgrounds. I definitely agree with Cydork that there was a chunk of close-up action that was a bit muddy (I fall into the same trap, I get you), pulling that camera out, or retooling some things "do I need to show this or can I get away with saying it?" or vice versa) can help, and I really, really love when you pulled the camera out and gave use scenes like page 2 panel 1, page 6 panel 1, and the last panel on page 3. Places where the characters really fill the space and also have some breathing room!
The only downside for me is the values, all of the pages are overall very dark, and some of them end up looking a little flat with some very dark not quite black fills next to some also very dark but not as-dark not-blacks. When you started adding in those accent colours I thought it was really impactful, you introduce the red with Charlemagne and he kind of takes over the power seat, then you get the blue coming in and it takes over the red AS charlemagne's being overpowered in that moment, it's a really great use of limited colour! I do wish the wings were kept closer to white in those scenes, I almost didn't recognize what they were at first because of the change over - colour can do a lot of informing so the sudden switchout gave me a hard time, and with the midrange grey to dark greys, I was missing that brightness even with the vibrant blue!
There was a ton of creativity in how you handled the actual battle, I really enjoyed reading through! What you did in a week is HARD and your effort is really showing and paying off, I hope you're taking good care of that wrist and pampering it cause it worked hard for you!
# 9
Posted:
Aug 5 2021, 03:28 AM
Fluff - Holy shit it feels like your anatomy and posing levelled up with this comic :0 I see those perspective shots of Rickter and they look great! Also the Gus reveal!! Loved seeing him burst out of Rickter’s gashed stomach, A+.
The writing here was pretty fun, I like the attitude of the kid just giving Rickter random shit to eat. I feel like the ending could’ve had more punch to it though. I didn’t get a sense of the destruction Gus had wrought, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about Rickter reacting to Gus’s appearance rather than any of the violence. I think leaving it at just “...Gus” would’ve been fine.
Rehn - First of all “FU-BAR” is such a great joke, I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before. The woman attack was also pretty funny, and the scar was very creative! I feel like your art has improved too; the characters look more natural compared to your intro for sure, and you’ve tried out some poses from wackier angles.
On the crit-side, a lot of the action was very closeup and felt like it was happening in an empty void (no pun intended). Try pulling the “camera” back a bit and drawing a background in at least one panel per page, to remind the reader where the characters actually are. I noticed your lines were also kind of messy here, especially on page 4. BaM animation did a great video on better lines that helped me improve a tonne, but if this was just time-related and you had to rush, feel free to ignore this haha.
Congrats on the first scar match btw! Ballsy move to make this Charlamagne’s first battle.
The writing here was pretty fun, I like the attitude of the kid just giving Rickter random shit to eat. I feel like the ending could’ve had more punch to it though. I didn’t get a sense of the destruction Gus had wrought, and I wasn’t sure how to feel about Rickter reacting to Gus’s appearance rather than any of the violence. I think leaving it at just “...Gus” would’ve been fine.
Rehn - First of all “FU-BAR” is such a great joke, I can’t believe I’ve never seen it before. The woman attack was also pretty funny, and the scar was very creative! I feel like your art has improved too; the characters look more natural compared to your intro for sure, and you’ve tried out some poses from wackier angles.
On the crit-side, a lot of the action was very closeup and felt like it was happening in an empty void (no pun intended). Try pulling the “camera” back a bit and drawing a background in at least one panel per page, to remind the reader where the characters actually are. I noticed your lines were also kind of messy here, especially on page 4. BaM animation did a great video on better lines that helped me improve a tonne, but if this was just time-related and you had to rush, feel free to ignore this haha.
Congrats on the first scar match btw! Ballsy move to make this Charlamagne’s first battle.
# 8
Posted:
Aug 4 2021, 02:07 PM
comment
Quote from: G0ttam
# 7
Posted:
Aug 4 2021, 02:06 PM
comment
# 6
Posted:
Aug 4 2021, 01:45 PM
Fluff this was so good!! I'm so happy to finally see your end, and it was definitely worth the wait! Char won't appreciate losing his arm though, he needs that for punching!
# 5
Posted:
Aug 4 2021, 01:00 PM
fuck! I was so excited waiting for this ever since you guys brainstormed about it like half a year ago, and now it's finally here and it's awesome! you both did so great! I love it!
# 4
Posted:
Aug 4 2021, 12:57 PM
Rehn! Rehn rehn rehn! You wrote them so good! Also a+ scar that makes my life easier
# 3
Posted:
Jul 27 2021, 02:27 PM
Oooh that titles ominous
Ooooo we gonna see some.blood!!!
Ooooo we gonna see some.blood!!!
# 2
Posted:
Jul 27 2021, 01:15 PM
I'm gonna split him like a log!
# 1
Posted:
Jul 27 2021, 01:08 PM
Let's fucken go! Fuck him up fluff!
Scar Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Aug 11th, 2021
Votes Cast:
15
Page Views:
1310
Winner:
StealRehn
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