Thanks for all the critique and comments! i'll take them all into consideration and try to improve in my next comic.
Oh, and about the oversaturation: I actually didn't know the comic was THAT bright until i opened it in my phone and i'm really sorry...
Seems like my notebook screen was a little too dark and is not showing the colors as they really are. Next time they won't be so saturated.
Intro Story / Gutsmasher
Critiques & Comments
# 19
Posted:
Feb 11 2019, 10:50 AM
# 18
Posted:
Feb 10 2019, 04:22 PM
i too love this lizard.
and also the pacing. it's good pacing. love that exposition.
and also the pacing. it's good pacing. love that exposition.
# 17
Posted:
Feb 7 2019, 08:38 AM
Loving the character and her story, can't wait to see what comes of it. Really loved your storytelling in only three pages. I feel like I really know Gut Smasher already. The art critiques I have are already mentioned, looking forward to watching the growth of your art and storytelling! Congrats on getting her in!
# 16
Posted:
Feb 5 2019, 06:43 PM
Hi, welcome to void!
This comic is very cute! It flows like a well written comedic manga. The expressions are hilarious, I loved the arm chomp page 2 panel 1. There character is charming, I'm into this and I'm not even a wrestling fan. The kitten is gunna stay through this right?
My criticism is this:
There are alot of high intensity colors and warm colors. The last panel of page 3 was a bit releiving on my eyes. Very cool temperature blue. Most panels are highly saturated and its tiring on the eyes. You need to work on shadows too. There are hardly any shadows in any of this. It may be beneficial to look up tutorials online, but what alot of people do is pick a color lower in value (darker) and a little more saturated, sometimes sliding the hue to a very nearby color, can add alot of depth. Like I said, there are alot of tutorials for adding shadows to various things (like skintones, gold, metals, hair etc)
You'll find that shadows help to ground the characters and the world. ;3
This comic is very cute! It flows like a well written comedic manga. The expressions are hilarious, I loved the arm chomp page 2 panel 1. There character is charming, I'm into this and I'm not even a wrestling fan. The kitten is gunna stay through this right?
My criticism is this:
There are alot of high intensity colors and warm colors. The last panel of page 3 was a bit releiving on my eyes. Very cool temperature blue. Most panels are highly saturated and its tiring on the eyes. You need to work on shadows too. There are hardly any shadows in any of this. It may be beneficial to look up tutorials online, but what alot of people do is pick a color lower in value (darker) and a little more saturated, sometimes sliding the hue to a very nearby color, can add alot of depth. Like I said, there are alot of tutorials for adding shadows to various things (like skintones, gold, metals, hair etc)
You'll find that shadows help to ground the characters and the world. ;3
# 15
Posted:
Feb 5 2019, 01:31 PM
This character and this comic are delightful in every way. Good work getting in! I can't wait to see this wrestle lady wipe the floor with the best of them!
Comicwise this is a lot of fun. Some great expressions and visual gags. You got a good handle on color and figure and your designs hold a lot of personality. Still there is a lot of room for improvement. Your word balloons and composition could use some tightening in some spots. You're making some great atmospheric illustrations but they could be pushed with some tighter compositions and line work (especially on the last page with the balcony scene.
You got a lot to bring to the table and I'm glad ours was the table you choose. Now lets see what you got! >
Comicwise this is a lot of fun. Some great expressions and visual gags. You got a good handle on color and figure and your designs hold a lot of personality. Still there is a lot of room for improvement. Your word balloons and composition could use some tightening in some spots. You're making some great atmospheric illustrations but they could be pushed with some tighter compositions and line work (especially on the last page with the balcony scene.
You got a lot to bring to the table and I'm glad ours was the table you choose. Now lets see what you got! >
# 14
Posted:
Feb 5 2019, 11:00 AM
The critiques I had in mind have already been said, so let me say this is a well-done intro! Easy to follow story, and the character and visuals were great. I’m looking forward to seeing Gut fight some wrestlers!
# 13
Posted:
Feb 5 2019, 10:48 AM
I have to express my love for this character already, she just has so much personality and your expressions are great! It really does feel like you communicated a lot about her in just 3 pages and it makes me want to see more. A couple things I could point out is that on page 3 panels 4 and 5, on my first reading I got the reading order of the word bubbles confused and read the leftmost bubble first on panel 4; on panel 5 I read the leftmost bubble last. Its placement seems to lead into panel 6 so that might be why my mind thought it was the last bubble that should be read, if that makes sense. Also, on the first panel of page 3, I didn’t notice Gut Smasher was hanging out in a dumpster at first, I’m thinking changing the angle of that shot would make it communicate better? Overall though your intro is looking really good and I’m not gonna lie I laughed really hard at the bottom panel on page 2 lol, I can’t wait to see more of your character!!
# 12
Posted:
Feb 5 2019, 09:49 AM
ArtsandGoodies: This was a fantastic intro for the character and I look forward to seeing more. I think the thing that makes this so amazing is all the various expressions you do, all the different expressions you give Gut Smasher make her instantly a memorable character there are so many of them and all of them are amazing. All the changes you do with the eyes are amazing.
The one thing I would have to crit in this is the word balloons. The narration bubbles are fine but in particular all the word balloons on page 3 are noticeably the weak spot in a great comic. Here's a good site that gives a bunch of tips for making word balloons that can help: http://www.blambot.com/articles_tips.shtml
A couple of things in particular to work on:
The brush you used for the word bubbles doesn't seem to have too much anti-aliasing so it they look a choppy compared to everything else.
Your word bubble arrows are also inconsistent in the size they end in and most end up being too wide at the end.
Word bubbles are important but I only spent so much time on that because everything else in this comic is great and you made a great character that I look forward to seeing you be in battles with.
Quote
thanks for the help! i had a hard time figuring out how to make speech bubbles... i'll surely follow these tips and try to improve! thanks again.
# 11
Posted:
Feb 5 2019, 08:37 AM
Pacing for this was sexy. It flowed tremendously well, no jump was jarring, each thing led naturally to the other, the punchline was solid, the tone was pretty damn funny. I love that I feel like I already know this character already, good job.
# 10
Posted:
Feb 5 2019, 06:50 AM
it's an incredibly good intro. Well written too, and shows your skills at posing rather well. That character of yours also is fun in her concept, we do need more pro wrestlers in VOID ^^
# 9
Posted:
Feb 4 2019, 11:48 PM
This was a fantastic intro for the character and I look forward to seeing more. I think the thing that makes this so amazing is all the various expressions you do, all the different expressions you give Gut Smasher make her instantly a memorable character there are so many of them and all of them are amazing. All the changes you do with the eyes are amazing.
The one thing I would have to crit in this is the word balloons. The narration bubbles are fine but in particular all the word balloons on page 3 are noticeably the weak spot in a great comic. Here's a good site that gives a bunch of tips for making word balloons that can help: http://www.blambot.com/articles_tips.shtml
A couple of things in particular to work on:
The brush you used for the word bubbles doesn't seem to have too much anti-aliasing so it they look a choppy compared to everything else.
Your word bubble arrows are also inconsistent in the size they end in and most end up being too wide at the end.
Word bubbles are important but I only spent so much time on that because everything else in this comic is great and you made a great character that I look forward to seeing you be in battles with.
The one thing I would have to crit in this is the word balloons. The narration bubbles are fine but in particular all the word balloons on page 3 are noticeably the weak spot in a great comic. Here's a good site that gives a bunch of tips for making word balloons that can help: http://www.blambot.com/articles_tips.shtml
A couple of things in particular to work on:
The brush you used for the word bubbles doesn't seem to have too much anti-aliasing so it they look a choppy compared to everything else.
Your word bubble arrows are also inconsistent in the size they end in and most end up being too wide at the end.
Word bubbles are important but I only spent so much time on that because everything else in this comic is great and you made a great character that I look forward to seeing you be in battles with.
# 8
Posted:
Feb 4 2019, 01:34 PM
aaaAAAAAHH thank you guys so much for the kind coments!! i was really nervous to upload this since it's the first time i make a comic for real! i'm really glad you liked her and am still looking forward to battle you Shen! :'D
# 7
Posted:
Feb 4 2019, 11:48 AM
Hello yes I am here to Stan the friend shaped lizard.
Now I have another reason to get my own lizard in Here
Now I have another reason to get my own lizard in Here
# 6
Posted:
Feb 4 2019, 10:14 AM
I am here for Gut Smasher and her pizza security antics.
# 5
Posted:
Feb 3 2019, 09:51 PM
Wow Hello I Love Her
This is a great intro comic!
The pacing is perfect and I feel like we've got good insight into the character already.
Can't wait to see you battle!
This is a great intro comic!
The pacing is perfect and I feel like we've got good insight into the character already.
Can't wait to see you battle!
# 4
Posted:
Feb 3 2019, 08:55 PM
omg ill be honest i initially had no strong feelings about this character BUT I NOW LOVE THEM WITH ALL MY HEART 10/10 GOOD GUT SMASHER WE STAN A QUEEN
# 3
Posted:
Feb 3 2019, 08:40 PM
GUT SMASHER GUT SMASHER GUT SMASHER GUT SMASHER GUT SMASHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
what a good friend!
what a good friend!
# 2
Posted:
Feb 3 2019, 08:31 PM
Holy smokes. I love this so much! So simple, so funny. And the paneling is clean and clear and beautiful. Good job!
# 1
Posted:
Feb 3 2019, 08:27 PM
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FIGHT ME
Comic Details
Beyond Battle
Ended:
Feb 10th, 2019
Votes Cast:
21
Page Views:
2246
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I would be really curious to see how this would look in black and white, with some good spot blacks and maybe some screen tones for shading, manga style.