Ranzombie: I like this idea of a killer's self satisfied inner monologue turning on him and revealing itself to be the farce it is . Although I'm not sure how much time has passed in Void. Disappearing people during a magic show does seem a little... suspicious to be unnoticed for so long. Or maybe the idea is that people have started to come to these shows expecting to "lose" a family member by now? I really liked the back and forth of that fight scene, though it was a lot of medium shots.
Golden: Gorgeous, gorgeous rendering of characters, moods, bodies. *kiss!* So much personality and sensuality! The composition, though, could get a little vague. I tended to think Cairo Rae was stalking a jogger instead of registering the focus switching over to Stein. Page 8 is a fantastically surreal idea, but I suspect the arm closer to the camera would still be angled more away than his sleeve is indicating. It's throwing off the perspective to me.
Rumble Roulette / Stein vs. Cairo Rae
Critiques & Comments
# 11
Posted:
Jun 21 2020, 05:31 PM
# 10
Posted:
Jun 21 2020, 03:29 PM
((you're both much better artists than me so please grant me patience as I try this critiquing thing out-)
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To Ranzombie(open to comments/critiques):
-I really liked the story and art altogether. I felt compelling, and like I really understood Cairo Rae's backstory, and seeing how his actions- though arguable noble- could eventually bite him in the butt.
-Your line weight and perspectives are really good
-It seems you took into account the end-result height of the page when making this, so that you don't see too much of the page too soon. I think this style is really good for a webcomic or the like ^3^
Critique:
-It seems like the lineart wasn't finished altogether, most obvious on page 3. I like how you had it sketched enough where I didn't even notice at first, and I look forward to reading more of your comics when you have a bit more time :3
-I'd like to see more details of the backgrounds in panels that aren't establishing shots. (like, not just have the characters in an empty space) The way you have the characters though probably really lend to an actiony-coloured style BG, and always fit the size of the panel, so it's not a major loss I think.
---
To Golden(open to comments/critiques):
-The first page makes Cairo Rae very attractive(, how dare you /jk)
-Love the highlights of colour, action poses and all-around shading. It seems a really good way to make your character stand out. The lines are all-around super crisp, and it's clear you were on the final stages of this comic being complete when you uploaded which is great.
-I like the smooth transition of Cairo Rae's arms to and from wolf form. <3
Critique:
-Pages 5, 8 and 9 seem to not be finished in the colour/shading department. (However, that could've been your stylistic choice since you left off a panel on page 10, soooo ^^;
-(nitpick) I think the hat is missing on page 8, middle-bottom/establishing shot, right before he picks it up. His body could've been covering it, I guess, but probably should've been visible to the right of their bodies or something.
-I feel like the story was just *a bit* off, with the allusion to the unknown undead person from the backstory not quite meshing with the reveal. I'm not sure what to suggest to fix it, however, and if there was more pages to show him going after this "Kenta Maizurade" might've made it less jarring. However(again lol), simply following this up with a continuation in Beyond Battle or etc form would be the solution for that, which you may already have planned. ^^;;;
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Altogether, I really loved both! I'd be super intrigued if you decided to do a collab or team battle in the future. :3 (wishful thinking haha)
---
To Ranzombie(open to comments/critiques):
-I really liked the story and art altogether. I felt compelling, and like I really understood Cairo Rae's backstory, and seeing how his actions- though arguable noble- could eventually bite him in the butt.
-Your line weight and perspectives are really good
-It seems you took into account the end-result height of the page when making this, so that you don't see too much of the page too soon. I think this style is really good for a webcomic or the like ^3^
Critique:
-It seems like the lineart wasn't finished altogether, most obvious on page 3. I like how you had it sketched enough where I didn't even notice at first, and I look forward to reading more of your comics when you have a bit more time :3
-I'd like to see more details of the backgrounds in panels that aren't establishing shots. (like, not just have the characters in an empty space) The way you have the characters though probably really lend to an actiony-coloured style BG, and always fit the size of the panel, so it's not a major loss I think.
---
To Golden(open to comments/critiques):
-The first page makes Cairo Rae very attractive(, how dare you /jk)
-Love the highlights of colour, action poses and all-around shading. It seems a really good way to make your character stand out. The lines are all-around super crisp, and it's clear you were on the final stages of this comic being complete when you uploaded which is great.
-I like the smooth transition of Cairo Rae's arms to and from wolf form. <3
Critique:
-Pages 5, 8 and 9 seem to not be finished in the colour/shading department. (However, that could've been your stylistic choice since you left off a panel on page 10, soooo ^^;
-(nitpick) I think the hat is missing on page 8, middle-bottom/establishing shot, right before he picks it up. His body could've been covering it, I guess, but probably should've been visible to the right of their bodies or something.
-I feel like the story was just *a bit* off, with the allusion to the unknown undead person from the backstory not quite meshing with the reveal. I'm not sure what to suggest to fix it, however, and if there was more pages to show him going after this "Kenta Maizurade" might've made it less jarring. However(again lol), simply following this up with a continuation in Beyond Battle or etc form would be the solution for that, which you may already have planned. ^^;;;
---
Altogether, I really loved both! I'd be super intrigued if you decided to do a collab or team battle in the future. :3 (wishful thinking haha)
# 9
Posted:
Jun 20 2020, 12:46 PM
These were both so tough to vote on! I had fun reading them both~!
# 8
Posted:
Jun 19 2020, 08:49 PM
Only in Void City will you find Gunslingers stalking Werewolves. Both of you did great work!
Ranzombie - The story you've woven around Cairo's eating habits was spectacular. It would definitely become an issue sooner or later.
Golden - So many dynamics in this comics scene-ography. Great action and the line work looks superb.
Ranzombie - The story you've woven around Cairo's eating habits was spectacular. It would definitely become an issue sooner or later.
Golden - So many dynamics in this comics scene-ography. Great action and the line work looks superb.
# 7
Posted:
Jun 19 2020, 06:55 AM
This is a very good match up and it shows by how close it is.
Ranzombie - you got excellent storytelling skills and art. That fight scene was such a fun part to read too. I love the depth you gave these characters including the NPCs. Too bad some panels did not feel finished but you got pretty clean sketches so it still stayed readable.
Goldie - I dont know how you made such high caliber quality comics like this in 2 weeks? I am blown away. The reds and blacks really pop. I think imma take pointers from you in my next comic because I want to try shorter time frame. You went to a more mystery route which I also enjoy! Really curious about that name drop in the end. Hope we find out more!
Ranzombie - you got excellent storytelling skills and art. That fight scene was such a fun part to read too. I love the depth you gave these characters including the NPCs. Too bad some panels did not feel finished but you got pretty clean sketches so it still stayed readable.
Goldie - I dont know how you made such high caliber quality comics like this in 2 weeks? I am blown away. The reds and blacks really pop. I think imma take pointers from you in my next comic because I want to try shorter time frame. You went to a more mystery route which I also enjoy! Really curious about that name drop in the end. Hope we find out more!
# 6
Posted:
Jun 15 2020, 09:47 AM
Golden- I love the limited colors you've got going on, it makes your comic very striking and the details in the characters is wonderful.
Ranzombie- The action is absolutely beautiful, and I love the story that you've told here!
I had a lot of fun reading both comics, nice job!
Ranzombie- The action is absolutely beautiful, and I love the story that you've told here!
I had a lot of fun reading both comics, nice job!
# 5
Posted:
Jun 15 2020, 01:23 AM
GOLDIE- Gorgeous. Gorgeous inks and minimal color scheme. If there is one thing that can be counted on with your art, is that anything you touch tends to come out looking aesthetically gorgeous. You set up some great pages here. Your inks were heavy and black when they needed to be, the attacks and action was rad and I especially dug the effect on the bottom panel of page two. It almost feels like a physical manifestation of Cairo's searchy powers.
That said, the story is where its lacking. You had a great build up with your opponent hunting Cairo down, and the shocker panel of him getting shot was great before we get to the burn down to the pairs dialogue. The reveal of who Stein is working for isn't set up in this comic, and going to previous comics of Cairo as well as his bio doesn't shed light on the mystery person. It makes the possible threat or shock of this moment fall flat.
RANZOMBIE- I'm not gonna lie, this is was some incredibly good strategy. Knowing what your opponent is better at than you, and instead of bending over backwards to try to match it, you focus your efforts on something you know you're good at and simply go ham.
And ham you went, man. The story had such a fantastic set up from the opening of Cairo's performance to his inner dialogue patting himself on the back for being such a good dog ridding the city of filth. To see him not only realize his actions aren't so cut and dry and to actually have to contend with the consequences of that? I didn't see it coming. I'm usually not a fan of Voiders characters being sidelined, but I'm surprised to find that Stein's minimal presence was a boon in this story building. Way to come into this rumble roulette swinging
That said, the story is where its lacking. You had a great build up with your opponent hunting Cairo down, and the shocker panel of him getting shot was great before we get to the burn down to the pairs dialogue. The reveal of who Stein is working for isn't set up in this comic, and going to previous comics of Cairo as well as his bio doesn't shed light on the mystery person. It makes the possible threat or shock of this moment fall flat.
RANZOMBIE- I'm not gonna lie, this is was some incredibly good strategy. Knowing what your opponent is better at than you, and instead of bending over backwards to try to match it, you focus your efforts on something you know you're good at and simply go ham.
And ham you went, man. The story had such a fantastic set up from the opening of Cairo's performance to his inner dialogue patting himself on the back for being such a good dog ridding the city of filth. To see him not only realize his actions aren't so cut and dry and to actually have to contend with the consequences of that? I didn't see it coming. I'm usually not a fan of Voiders characters being sidelined, but I'm surprised to find that Stein's minimal presence was a boon in this story building. Way to come into this rumble roulette swinging
# 4
Posted:
Jun 14 2020, 01:55 AM
Damn, great battle on both sides!
Ran - I really loved the story in this. Back in Cairo’s intro I commented on abusers still being missed, and you explored that very concept here! It’s definitely reflective of real life abusive situations, being attached despite all the trauma. Just very well done, and art-wise of course it was lovely too. Very fluid action. The ending hit hard too, with the daughter just being a shadowed figure, the melting mother and Cairo wrapped in chains.
Just a shame you couldn’t finish, and I’d have liked full faces for the other characters and more shades used. As it is now, just white with black lines for the majority of the comic makes it feel a bit empty.
Goldie - Ugh your STYLE! And this palette of black, red and white continues to look incredible and suit the tone very well. Honestly, zero crits from me, this was just stellar quality even though you didn’t manage to finish some pages. The story was definitely simpler compared to Ran’s, though I enjoyed reading Cairo’s internal monologue and getting a better sense of his mindset.
Ran - I really loved the story in this. Back in Cairo’s intro I commented on abusers still being missed, and you explored that very concept here! It’s definitely reflective of real life abusive situations, being attached despite all the trauma. Just very well done, and art-wise of course it was lovely too. Very fluid action. The ending hit hard too, with the daughter just being a shadowed figure, the melting mother and Cairo wrapped in chains.
Just a shame you couldn’t finish, and I’d have liked full faces for the other characters and more shades used. As it is now, just white with black lines for the majority of the comic makes it feel a bit empty.
Goldie - Ugh your STYLE! And this palette of black, red and white continues to look incredible and suit the tone very well. Honestly, zero crits from me, this was just stellar quality even though you didn’t manage to finish some pages. The story was definitely simpler compared to Ran’s, though I enjoyed reading Cairo’s internal monologue and getting a better sense of his mindset.
# 3
Posted:
Jun 14 2020, 01:04 AM
I knew I stood no chance against Golden quality wise, so I tried to put a little more effort into the writing and reasoning behind the plot. I have been meaning to try a slightly more complex moral struggle. One in which there's really no right side and it's more just about how any action will inevitably have a consequence. Good or bad.
However, I'm also aware that the subject of domestic abuse is not one to be taken lightly. I actually failed to put a small content warning at the start in regards to that (rushing at the last minute as per usual), and know that portraying these sorts of themes need to be done so responsibly.
With that in mind, if you feel like a did a poor job of handling the subject, or that I should've taken more care to explain other details, please let me know. I'm open to any and all criticism on that matter. (And any matter actually)
Golden, it was an honor to get a chance to fight you. I ADORE your round and just can't stop looking at how gorgeous everything looks! You did Stein justice and I couldn't be happier!
I will look forward to our next match, whenever that may be!
However, I'm also aware that the subject of domestic abuse is not one to be taken lightly. I actually failed to put a small content warning at the start in regards to that (rushing at the last minute as per usual), and know that portraying these sorts of themes need to be done so responsibly.
With that in mind, if you feel like a did a poor job of handling the subject, or that I should've taken more care to explain other details, please let me know. I'm open to any and all criticism on that matter. (And any matter actually)
Golden, it was an honor to get a chance to fight you. I ADORE your round and just can't stop looking at how gorgeous everything looks! You did Stein justice and I couldn't be happier!
I will look forward to our next match, whenever that may be!
# 2
Posted:
Jun 14 2020, 12:30 AM
My chair is far away from me, and i am sitting on the floor now. Good stuff
# 1
Posted:
May 23 2020, 07:51 PM
oh damn. What a matchup!
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
2 weeks + 1
Ended:
Jun 21st, 2020
Votes Cast:
23
Page Views:
1235
Winner:
Goldie
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Global Moderator
Honestly I don't have too much in terms of critiques for either of you, I just. Really loved both of these comics.
Ran: I think I liked the story/motives behind your story the best! I love that whole "had the best intentions but with unintended consequences" thing going on. Makes even killing scumbags into a more ambiguous thing.
Golden: Mmmmmmm your comics are tasty eye candy. I LOVE the action you dooooooo