Roger, it's tough to do a week deadline for your first void comic, so i won't hold it against you that much. i hope to see you enter another character soon, so we can see what you can do with full effort and a month of time.

Joshua, cool stuff! i like that you managed to keep the rhythm and flow of your ink style into colors. the lettering was very pretty, but it was tough to read and follow. a lot of times i was re-reading it to try and figure out what the rhymes were. i liked the play on "mr. a" and "mr. b," i thought it was pretty clever. looking forward to your next round for more hip-hopping goodness!

Roger - Not bad for a last minute job. I'm sure you can bust out more awesomeness with a larger time frame. I liked the humor and the silly moves. The way mr B. kicked MC's gun away was very cool despite it's simplicity. i could feel the motion.
On the last panel of page 4 i couldnt tell what you drew, but it seemed like a significant part of the flow. Can you tell me what it is?
Furthermore i dig the expressions on the characters. I think you broke my 2004 cuss record. hahaha

Josh E.G. - Sweet colours, in particular the first page! Looks really animated.
I loved the whole story being a rap, though i had some difficulty making it click cuz the letters we're all over the place. Maybe highlight the rhymewords? Still loved da "riddim". hahaha
Cool composition and use of colour (white)  on page 10, signs of a doom impending.

It's fine the dialogue is all in yer face, but try to mix it up with some staight allignment here and there.

 I'd love to take you on in a battle rap...if you survive all rounds. If not, there's always the Beyond Battles

I commend you guys for making it to the deadline. 7 days is not much.
 Good luck in your future battles!

Roger- I could tell you are pretty talented and could do some really good comics. I hope you stay around, and get a perm. character in. This LOOKED like you did it in a couple of hours, so it wasn't really surprised to hear you did it last minute. I really look forward to more stuff from you though.

Josh- I personally think this was really cool, and would be a neat idea for every one of the battles to be a murder rap, but that might get old for other people. Not for me though... like, I really hope that's what you do haha. "They call it murrrdahhh!!!" You did get a little sloppy though. I like this style CLEAN, rather then messy. Clean it looks really bad ass and stylistic. Messy it looks really sloppy and rushed like you are not really styilizing anymore but just breezing thru and slapping color down.

I commend you on getting at least this much done in like, what was it, three hours before the deadline?


This dude drew and inked 6 of these pages, scanned them all, and cleaned them up and did text for them all with three hours until it was due. Dude submitted Right at midnight.


Joshua, I really liked the art, but not so much anything else... I dunno, It didn't work for me (though it was funny, and looked nice). Music comic didn't work for me. ~shrug~ Jus' my preference on that one, though

Thanks everyone for the feedback. I glad some people love it. I do wish I did better on this one, I really need to manage my time better. Good luck Josh.

haahaaa Roger I cracked up at the sucky joose panel and the panel where B hits Mac with the banana! lol the
expressions of your dudes are really funny in spots, you have a decent sense of pacing, work on your camera
angles like Angie said and add some more BGs and you'll be on your way. I liked the little details on the first
page like the plaque and the bustin caps poster, that page had enough to get a sense of where we were
at in the scene.

thanks to everyone for feedback!

Roger-like with the other new people, please stick around after the tourney!  I love your expressions and think you did a nice job with the characters. But you're zoomed soooooo far in I don't really know what's going on in most of the panels. Never be afraid to move the camera out to show us what exactly is going on with the action.

Joshua-was happy to see you stick with the style of the design sheet! The whole rap thing was interesting and enjoyable. I think the only thing that bothered me was your quality really jumps around. It looks like you started to lose steam towards the end so things got rougher.

yo b, good first effort. biggest thing i think you should pay attention to is line weight. you drew everything here with the same width pen. you can really effectively make things stand out & lead the reader's eye better by emphasizing certain lines. The best way to do that is with a brush but using thicker pens works too. if you must, drawing over the same line works, but it's not the neatest way to do things. beyond that, the text didn't fit too well with the art. the cartooniness of your style didn't mesh so well with 'Impact' or whatever variant that was. Usually, if you're digitally lettering, you want something that compliments the line art style, not contrast it. be mindful in the future. and when it came to the portal/gradient tool bit, you really should have tried drawing it instead of relying on photoshop. at the very least, just dropping the gradient the way you did, you should have deleted the top bit where it ran into the other two panels. that just looked sloppy dude. but otherwise it was pretty ok. looking forward to seeing what you do next.

josh, yours worked quite well i thought. i'm not big on the gestural color style you've got going with the art, but that's more a taste thing i'm thinking. but you really utilized the pacing & flow in a great way. i knew the song so it worked out well in my head & i could see what you were going for. going forward, my only recommendation would be since the text is such an important element to the work, make it a little tighter & nicer to look at aesthetically. it's taking up a lot of real estate on your pages so the more time you spend on it, the nicer the page will look.

Well Mr. B, we expected and you delivered.  It speaks to Mr. B's character and he was a crazy bastard definitely.  Well the gradient use was kinda eh, and the text too but yeah.

Joshua, this was a great style to see in action and putting the story to the lyrics was a fun idea.  I liked it a lot.  I wish further stories would follow this pattern too though it may be kinda hard to keep asking of you haha.  Great job though.

Roger - Pretty amusing physical comedy, but some use of backgrounds would make the action a bit clearer. Some more interesting layout or angles could place more emphasis on the jokes. Everything seemed very sparse.

Josh - You really pulled off a song comic. I haven't really seen it done well, yet. The comic flowed well and had an interesting look about it. Some more contrast with your colors may help, but I really liked this one.

Uploaded RIGHT AT MIDNIGHT!

They're there though, I'm pretty sure.

Good luck, Joshua, I look forward to reading your side!

my shit is up loooaded

Mac's tale is based off B.D.P.s "9mm Goes Bang"
I rearranged and wrote some lyrics to fit it to the battle, goes thru all but the last verse.

check it out here;
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3aYLGvN2Vtk

thanks for letting me try again
U__U

 go go go Mr. Mild!!!

Reminder for all of you uploading tonight, please read this in the event your upload fails before coming to the mods
http://entervoid.com/board/index.php?topic=10641.0

This should be quite the fine battle :3

MASTERFUL MAGICIANS MUST MEET MYSTICAL MUSHROOM MONKEYS MONDAY!

Hey there Mr. Mild, I like your dude he is fun to draw. Looking forward to your comic, good luck!
Lemme know if you have any questions I will help you also.

TOO MANY M's !

http://entervoid.com/board/index.php?topic=11075.msg186023#msg186023

for the new comer to read! Good luck you two!