Intro Story / Benjamin Le Fay
Critiques & Comments
# 7
Posted:
Aug 4 2019, 12:06 PM
The lineless silhouette style looks great! I really like the use of repetition especially on page 2. I think I’m just a little confused on some of the events shown; why was Ben unable to use magic and how was he later able to curse the school of law? I’m definitely interested in seeing more details on what happened there, which is something you could potentially expand on in later comics. Ben is great and I’m really looking forward to seeing more of him! Fight me sometime hahah
# 6
Posted:
Aug 3 2019, 02:22 PM
The fairy tale story telling is bomb.com. I thoroughly enjoyed it and was pulled in immediately, not to mention I feel like the visuals definitely amplified the writing. And thrusting us back into reality really made this intro flow beautifully.
I’m excited to see Ben’s journey!
I’m excited to see Ben’s journey!
# 5
Posted:
Aug 2 2019, 01:05 PM
I am intrigued by Ben. The storytelling and images are superb. He looks so unassuming and I want to know more about him and the nature of his abilities.
# 4
Posted:
Jul 31 2019, 03:49 PM
I'm DYING to fight Benjamin. What an intriguing character. As for this intro story-
I really enjoyed the silhouette art style, it kept things quite mysterious and symbolic without things being to confusing. Also it was just a cool aesthetic.
Crit wise-
Some of the colour combos were very unpleasing to look at, I get the vibe this might've been a conscious choice to show chaos etc?
The last page, there was a bit of a disconnect for me between the first panel and the second panel. I didn't get a particularly good sense of what I was looking at or where this comic takes place. I think for an intro story these aspects are important.
I really enjoyed the silhouette art style, it kept things quite mysterious and symbolic without things being to confusing. Also it was just a cool aesthetic.
Crit wise-
Some of the colour combos were very unpleasing to look at, I get the vibe this might've been a conscious choice to show chaos etc?
The last page, there was a bit of a disconnect for me between the first panel and the second panel. I didn't get a particularly good sense of what I was looking at or where this comic takes place. I think for an intro story these aspects are important.
# 3
Posted:
Jul 30 2019, 11:44 PM
Congrats on getting him in, I mentioned it in the approval crit but I want to see you try more of this storybook style in future comcis and go bolder and more wild with it. Also that final panel Ben's expression is just fantastic.
# 2
Posted:
Jul 28 2019, 10:53 PM
Flutter I am in awe of both the visuals and the creativity showcased in this story, it feels like something out of Neil Gaiman's sandman (and I LOVE Neil Gaiman) the imagery in these pages are a feast to the eyes and I am so captivated by the elements presented in the story of Benjamin, I can't wait to see more of him :-)
# 1
Posted:
Jul 28 2019, 08:54 PM
Yay Ben's here!!! God, I said it before and I'll say it again, I absolutely love the fairytale feeling of this--not just with the illustrations, but the narration as well. The repetition of the "Until..."
also page 3 gives me goosebumps, seriously. Great job Flutter!! I can't wait to see what u do with him
also page 3 gives me goosebumps, seriously. Great job Flutter!! I can't wait to see what u do with him
Beyond Battle
Ended:
Aug 4th, 2019
Votes Cast:
14
Page Views:
1487
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Artist
Honestly? I think this intro is near perfect. It gives just enough information so we have some idea of who Ben is, while also keeping a lot secret or up to the imagination to build intrigue and make readers want more. And it’s very stylish to boot - the lineless style, wild colours and prose-like text fit together really well and give me trippy fairy tale vibes. The panel with thorns bursting from his head is iconic af. The only crit I have is the pink that pours out of his mouth is maybe a little too saturated and bright, and the grass on page 4 didn’t go super well with the lineless style and looks a bit flat.