DI - This is a really impressive first battle. I have to disagree with what has been said about your backgrounds. I personally love your minimalism and simplicity. It looks very clean and puts more emphasis on the characters. I especially like your tripping panels. Your style gives great power to the use of more detail when the situation calls for it. I found your action sequences easy to follow. Also, very good story and character development of Saria. You rolled her spunk, humor, and heart all up in this one small package. Pico was sooo adorable in this!
HeyZoos- My favorite part of this was the characters. Very good job on the portrayals. I also love the way you drew Saria's energy orb thing. I found some of the imagery a bit difficult to interpret and got a little lost in some of the action sequence. I agree with the previous suggestion that more contrast could help this. Otherwise, your comic was very fun and action filled. Your Pico character is great!
Pico vs. Saria
Critiques & Comments
# 10
Posted:
Mar 3 2011, 12:50 PM
# 9
Posted:
Feb 27 2011, 10:54 AM
Great job, you two! I enjoyed reading both comics.
Pico: I enjoyed your action and sense of movement a lot. Your pacing is energetic and you are pretty funny, so I really enjoyed reading this. Your story telling is pretty good, but there were a few parts where things could have been a little more clear; for instance the bottom left panel of page three and the cut away to outside Astrid's shop at the bottom of page four. For the latter it would have been nice to have some frame of reference to attach the interior to the exterior setting, like the meat sign or something. I realized what you were doing when I got to page five, but prior to that it almost seemed a bit non sequitur to me. Also in page five it would help to show more items carry over from the est. shot on page four other than the dude in the foreground. The newspaper stand could have been shown flying through the air for example. Page four was the only spot where I felt at all jarred out of the story so that's why I wrote so much about it. I really liked your handling of all of the characters. Good work!
Saria: This was a good first battle for your character. I liked that you went full color for this as it helped everything stand out a bit. Your writing was pretty good and I liked your ending quite a bit. Your story telling was clear and your action was choreographed nicely, but you'd benefit from making things more dynamic. This is something that I struggled with a lot before and still do a bit. As Deyla said it would help to plan your pages a bit more before you start the final product.
The major thing you should work on though is drawing your characters within the perspective of your backgrounds. Again planning your pages out more carefully will help you do this in the future. You can rough it out small to start with and then you'll have a decent idea of how things should look together. Then blow it up to actual size and it is a lot easier to deal with. The most jarring example of this the bottom of page six. I know that Saria is bigger than Pico, but she looks gigantic in that panel. Foreshortening can be a pain, but again planning more carefully can help it out a bit. Good work overall, I enjoyed reading this and I like your character quite a bit.
I think you both compliment each other's characters well. These were two very light hearted, fun comics.
Pico: I enjoyed your action and sense of movement a lot. Your pacing is energetic and you are pretty funny, so I really enjoyed reading this. Your story telling is pretty good, but there were a few parts where things could have been a little more clear; for instance the bottom left panel of page three and the cut away to outside Astrid's shop at the bottom of page four. For the latter it would have been nice to have some frame of reference to attach the interior to the exterior setting, like the meat sign or something. I realized what you were doing when I got to page five, but prior to that it almost seemed a bit non sequitur to me. Also in page five it would help to show more items carry over from the est. shot on page four other than the dude in the foreground. The newspaper stand could have been shown flying through the air for example. Page four was the only spot where I felt at all jarred out of the story so that's why I wrote so much about it. I really liked your handling of all of the characters. Good work!
Saria: This was a good first battle for your character. I liked that you went full color for this as it helped everything stand out a bit. Your writing was pretty good and I liked your ending quite a bit. Your story telling was clear and your action was choreographed nicely, but you'd benefit from making things more dynamic. This is something that I struggled with a lot before and still do a bit. As Deyla said it would help to plan your pages a bit more before you start the final product.
The major thing you should work on though is drawing your characters within the perspective of your backgrounds. Again planning your pages out more carefully will help you do this in the future. You can rough it out small to start with and then you'll have a decent idea of how things should look together. Then blow it up to actual size and it is a lot easier to deal with. The most jarring example of this the bottom of page six. I know that Saria is bigger than Pico, but she looks gigantic in that panel. Foreshortening can be a pain, but again planning more carefully can help it out a bit. Good work overall, I enjoyed reading this and I like your character quite a bit.
I think you both compliment each other's characters well. These were two very light hearted, fun comics.
# 8
Posted:
Feb 26 2011, 11:53 PM
haha.. man pico is so goddamn adorable. i enjoy these battles guys, very pleasantly surprised.
# 7
Posted:
Feb 26 2011, 09:25 PM
aaAAAA GREG STOP BEING SO COOL
the way you draw Saria and Astrid is fabulous, and your way of showing her orb attacks is delightfully brutal. I find it funny how you managed to portray her with that cooler than I did. DERP. You put just the right amount of "flippant jackass" into her, and wrote Astrid just fine.
MORE GUSHING ABOUT YOUR ACTION SEQUENCES GUH I hope to one day match them in awesome. this was a blast to do, and thanks for being the cool first opponent.
the way you draw Saria and Astrid is fabulous, and your way of showing her orb attacks is delightfully brutal. I find it funny how you managed to portray her with that cooler than I did. DERP. You put just the right amount of "flippant jackass" into her, and wrote Astrid just fine.
MORE GUSHING ABOUT YOUR ACTION SEQUENCES GUH I hope to one day match them in awesome. this was a blast to do, and thanks for being the cool first opponent.
# 6
Posted:
Feb 26 2011, 09:19 PM
Damn, dudes. You both know eachother's characters really well. Wrote them both awesomely!
Grag: That pacing was amazing, as was the action. You're always such a killer when it comes to action. Should work on cleaning up your lines, maybe adding a little more contrast. You have a badass sense of movement, it'd be nice to see that in greater detail.
Totally loved the writing. Short, simple, even cute story. Incredibly entertaining, in my opinion. Self contained and clean-cut at the end. Well done.
Di: Awesome leap in quality from your intro. I can see you're working more on those angles and poses. Don't be afraid to give your work a little more detail! A lot of those backgrounds still leave much to be desired. I looove your expressions, though. Spot-on!
The story was easy enough to understand, but the pacing was a bit off in parts. A bit of skipping around and odd panel cuts can break the flow of a comic. I'd suggest maybe thinking over your paneling moreso before diving into comic drawing. Otherwise, also a very fun read! Saria is the kind of chick I can dig. <3
Both of you put out super entertaining entries. I gotta give this one to Grag for an overall more solid read, but I'm in no way disappointed by either of you. Keep rockin' it, bros!
Grag: That pacing was amazing, as was the action. You're always such a killer when it comes to action. Should work on cleaning up your lines, maybe adding a little more contrast. You have a badass sense of movement, it'd be nice to see that in greater detail.
Totally loved the writing. Short, simple, even cute story. Incredibly entertaining, in my opinion. Self contained and clean-cut at the end. Well done.
Di: Awesome leap in quality from your intro. I can see you're working more on those angles and poses. Don't be afraid to give your work a little more detail! A lot of those backgrounds still leave much to be desired. I looove your expressions, though. Spot-on!
The story was easy enough to understand, but the pacing was a bit off in parts. A bit of skipping around and odd panel cuts can break the flow of a comic. I'd suggest maybe thinking over your paneling moreso before diving into comic drawing. Otherwise, also a very fun read! Saria is the kind of chick I can dig. <3
Both of you put out super entertaining entries. I gotta give this one to Grag for an overall more solid read, but I'm in no way disappointed by either of you. Keep rockin' it, bros!
# 5
Posted:
Feb 26 2011, 08:53 PM
DI I FUCKING LOVE HOW YOU DID THIS, you portrayed pico pretty much perfectly. This was a fun read!!!
# 4
Posted:
Feb 14 2011, 05:50 PM
Yeeeeeeeeeees. YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES.
# 3
Posted:
Feb 13 2011, 06:16 AM
Good Luck Guys it's nice to see Pico again, and a new face to battle so quick
# 2
Posted:
Feb 13 2011, 05:28 AM
Good luck with your first fight, Di! Hope to see a good showing from you as well, HeyZoos.
# 1
Posted:
Feb 13 2011, 02:42 AM
FINALLY jeez.
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
2 weeks
Ended:
Mar 5th, 2011
Votes Cast:
31
Page Views:
2789
Winner:
HeyZoos
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Artist
131-DI - Nice first battle! You certainly didn't have an easy opponent at all haha. I hope you do more battles here in the future : ). I'd offer a more in depth comment but I'll give it a wait till the next battle, cause first battles are always kind of a warm up of sorts