I'm sure others have said this, but man Elge really wanted to see the rest of the story but it happens. MikalXaiver I liked your approach no fight at all and the sense of just Lesdai being in control only to realise he was completely blind to the contrary felt refreshing.

Both really had similar issues in your comics, mainly lack of back grounds with just boring white hell even some more dramatic lines or experimenting with blacks would have sufficed. But when there is background it's just well boring. Story wise i was into both plus you guys got eachothers characters well. All and all not bad and like to see more.

She's Puerto Rican.  V'laria is based off of my wife, who incidentaly was giving me the dialogue translations, but seeing as how I was on Skype doing this and the transmission here in the desert isn't the greatest I figured I would mangle a word or two. And she is very prone to slipping in and out of her Spanish when she's talking casually (or full bore mach 1 if she's pissed )

I agree about the backgrounds, it was my biggest complaint with myself.  I did have significantly more background work done, but Sai ate about three days work of that and I was forced to regress to my final product here.  Admittedly I am VERY guilty of negelecting my scenery, something I hope to do less of in the future. Seeing as how class is about to start I may roll into a Beyond Battle and flex those muscles there.
Nonetheless thanks for all the crits folks and thanks again for the battle elge, it was appreciated and fun even if you didn't get the product you wanted!

The direct/rough translation would be "Calma tus pezones, hijo". But that is really not an expression that exists in Spanish. Not that I know or use.
However, you can always use some other expressions as "Bajale la espuma a tu malteada" (There is too much foam in your milkshake, get rid of it) , "No te esponjes" (Don't get swollen over it)
The idea is basically the same as "Calm your tits"
But in a more colloquial way.

I am sure Coatl and other VOIDers will have similar or better expressions in mind!

(Sorry for possibly butchering the English Language, Google Translate is fun)


Oh um. I am not sure which page you mean, but at no point can the reader know Lesdai's thoughts. o_o
If you mean page 2, pannel 3, that's Mikal taunting him on demonic language.

Oh, and one more think Mikal--Gabo would be disappointed with the Spanish croutons you threw into your English dialogue salad. I'm by no means an expert, but I really don't think [insert nationality of your character here]s just throw Spanish words into the middle of their sentences. If they do,  Â¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, "cálmarse niño" is all kinds of wrong. First off, there would be no accent over the "a" if you were actually trying to write "calmarse," but that's wrong too because it would translate as the infinitive "to calm oneself," whereas you're looking for something more like "Calm down, kid" (or even better, "calm your tits, son," but I don't know how to say that one in Spanish). The command form of "calmarse" would be either "cálmese" or "cálmate," the first being a more polite way of saying it and the second being a more familiar way of saying it. Since she's calling him "niño," you're going to want "cálmate," because people don't talk to niños using the polite form. Plus, saying "cálmate niño" to an adult is pretty dang condescending, which seems perfect for the attitude you're portraying with your character.

As a fellow artist with a character who speaks a language I'm not fluent in, I totally empathize with these little mistakes. As a Spanish major, they make me cringe just a little bit. I don't have the perfect solution for your problem (other than learning Spanish and spending a lot of time with [insert character's nationality again]s to hear how they talk), but I would at least consult someone like Coatl (AKA Bronesto) or possibly CrackingSkulls (?) or even Gabo if you can get in touch with him to see how you can make your character sound more authentic.

By the way, I'm really curious--what IS that character's nationality? Because if she's from certain countries, I could have totally just given you the wrong translations! O_O

Sugha: Aw, shit man! Just when it was getting interesting! I'm not sure what to say about school messing with your schedule, because how do you plan for that? I would have liked to see some sort of adjustment made so we could have a complete story, despite unseen schedule issues. There are always ways to edit down a long comic to make it fit a smaller number of pages, and I think that would have been a good exercise for you. I challenge you to aim for a really short comic next time you're in a comic match, regardless of the time limit on it. If you have more time, you can work on really polishing your pages instead of just making a long comic.

As for the art you've given us, I'm disappointed that you seem to have fallen back onto using the line tool for your backgrounds. What's more, it doesn't even look like you took the time to draw any guidelines to make your perspective work. The first panel of page 1 looks completely off because each building seems to have its own vanishing point. I know it's a lot of work to make a really good perspective, but it's worth it man! So please, no more line tool and no more half-assed perspective from you. Even if your lines are a little bit wobbly, I want to see some real perspective in your backgrounds next comic. In the same vein, your characters on page 1 don't really fit the perspective of the background. The room is at an angle, but the couch is straight on, and looks like it's tipping forward compared to the background. If you take the time to make perspective lines for your backgrounds, it'll help with that issue, too, because you can use those exact same lines to draw in blocks for where your characters should be. And if the couch is supposed to be at an angle compared to the room, your perspective lines can at least help you get a feel for how that might look in perspective as far as the angle of objects relative to the floor. Other than that, you have some anatomy issues, but I think honing your perspective is a bigger issue for you right now, so I'd focus on that first.

Mikal: I don't think I've read your other comics, but I definitely recognize that character from a while back, so I'm happy to see you back! My biggest critique for you is definitely to work on your backgrounds some more. You've got a decent grasp of perspective, although there are definitely a couple of wonky panels towards the end. Mostly, you just need more detail--last panel on page 1 is getting there. The good-ol' blocks-for-buildings at the top of page 1 are a big no-no; I dare you to draw some just really exquisite cityscape backgrounds, either in your next comic or just for practice. Sure, it's a huge pain in the ass, and it eats up a ton of time, but it makes the difference between a comic that looks rushed and lazy and something that's actually starting to look professional. I think you've got a great grasp on anatomy on your characters, so definitely spend some time giving the love to your environments. Remember, your backgrounds are characters too!

Now, both of you left me hanging here, so you'd better keep drawing or else I'll be grumpy! You're both good artists, but you just need to keep practicing! Now, go draw stuff!

Elge- well done finishing the pages you did with your schedule, but i'd rather see a sketchy complete story before a few finished pages of one. Your backgrounds orient the scene well and you know which panels you need or don't need to use them. And to nitpick, I didn't realize the word bubbles with the inward-facing panels were lesdai's thoughts at first, i read it as a voice from off-screen at first... but that could just be me!

Mikal- i won't lie, i haven't read your other comics... but this comic gives a great (re)introduction without just telling us the information. We see him get effected by lesdai grahl's power but then we see that he's still boss... sort of. Your art could use work, but this comic is pretty solid for how long it is.

awwww yea lizard on lizard action. I catn wait to see some shedding

ahh, fun! these are fun! what great opponents they make! they are both lacking a bit in backgrounds though which is a bit of a shame.
Mikalxaiver, I like how you portrayed Joey! in fact I think you did him better than you did your own guy- Mikal has like one like of dialog and then sort of vanishes, haha! that woman is building him up a lot to be this powerful thing, but we dont get to see it, so its kind of a let-down.
Sugha, ahh these look so nice! Pretty inks, finished looking pages! Story leads up to something dramatic and interesting, a fight is breaking loose- and then it stops! ^^; That made me very sad, i was interested in what would happen! But i understand school gets in the way a lot of times. Im glad the pages you did do look so polished, and theres some great expressions from Joey!
Decent show, you guys! Hope to see you both battle more!

All I can give is that you guys not stop at the subjects and give the background a little love.

Oh. Pretty lines.

I'm probably missing something because I don't see how this is rushed. It has some nice inkings and it looks pretty cool. I love your pencil work as you've shown us in previous comics, but digital inking did come as a nice surprise.

I just have a very small nitpick on the dialogue.
Page 4, Last pannel, V'laria speech bubble 1.
I think you might have wanted to use "Calmate" or "Relajate". (Imagine there is an apostrophe on the first "a" of each word. VOID won't let me do it without flipping out.)
"Calmarse" is the infinitive form. :O

Other than that, I really liked your comic. It's clean and it has some funny interactions between the characters.

3 weeks, dude U____U

well let's see what ya cranked out when it coms out~

I guess it is time for me to post something regarding this as well.

I didn't default, good news.
The comic is clean, good news.
There's backgrounds, good news.

Bad news, it's not complete. Far from it and from what I had originally planned.

Small whine ahead: My University course started before everyone expected so it messed up my schedule.
I owe you a huge apology Mikal, because you decided to return to VOID and you were stuck with a dick like me.
I hope you still like the small bits I got done, because I really liked your character and it gave me a cherished opportunity to develop my own a bit.

Good luck to you as well, thanks for the fight!

Fight uploaded.  Apologies for the rushed essence towards the end.  Had to make some adjustments after Sai ate 3 days worth of work. Enjoy fellow voidlings and good luck Sugha!

Back into battles, yeah! I look forward to seeing some rad comics!

Good luck!!