Soda, your first round comic is to be lauded at. Clean and precise and you gave yourself a challenge of doing it without dialogue. Some panels deserve a much better clean up and reiterating what our colleagues have already said: try experimenting with larger panels to show a more dynamic showing for your side. Little details can help a lot if you eschew putting sound effects and the like. A valiant first round from your side.
TKM, your humorous yet simple approach is a real corker of a laugh. Try cleaning up your panels and adding more backgrounds and details if needed be. Take for example the last panel, you could have made it more grittier just by adding garbage all around. Strong show from your side laddie.
Pukka work both of you.
Light Speed Death Tournament, Round 1 / Kamden vs. Snouthead Nefarious
Critiques & Comments
# 7
Posted:
Jan 21 2016, 10:06 PM
# 6
Posted:
Jan 21 2016, 03:37 PM
SODA: Zooming out so the action is clearer has been mentioned so allll good. Even without dialogue some SFX really would have made things a bit clearer. Getting Nefarious finished as he got hit by the train would have been great, if you're going to leave things unfinished make sure it's not something key like that! The last few panels are so great though, but I at first thought Kamden was winking rather than wincing (push that pose - again zooming out would've helped)!
TKM: I love how simple and stupid this is it's completely my deal. With that said the lack of line variation makes your art a bit unclear sometimes even with how simplistic it is - some colour would have helped here instead if the same line width was what you're going for, but those block blacks needed to be tightened especially and it would be great if (I say knowing I have the same issue with my hand lettering) you kept the lettering away from the edges so it's a bit clearer and less squished. Like you don't want it to look too refined with this style but your dialogue's where most of your jokes are so you want to slow down on that a bit at least.
TKM: I love how simple and stupid this is it's completely my deal. With that said the lack of line variation makes your art a bit unclear sometimes even with how simplistic it is - some colour would have helped here instead if the same line width was what you're going for, but those block blacks needed to be tightened especially and it would be great if (I say knowing I have the same issue with my hand lettering) you kept the lettering away from the edges so it's a bit clearer and less squished. Like you don't want it to look too refined with this style but your dialogue's where most of your jokes are so you want to slow down on that a bit at least.
# 5
Posted:
Jan 21 2016, 02:53 PM
I am just gonna generally clump this together since you both suffer from similar issues (sorry guys!)
Both of you really need to zoom out a lot more and the inks need to be tightened up more. Its very difficult to tell what is going on in both, although with TKM I can at least figure it out with words. Soda you have a rad character but I think without the dialogue your comic got difficult. However it made me laugh we have TWO train deaths in the tourney now haha!!
Either way keep at it guys, just gotta tighten up that work!
Both of you really need to zoom out a lot more and the inks need to be tightened up more. Its very difficult to tell what is going on in both, although with TKM I can at least figure it out with words. Soda you have a rad character but I think without the dialogue your comic got difficult. However it made me laugh we have TWO train deaths in the tourney now haha!!
Either way keep at it guys, just gotta tighten up that work!
# 4
Posted:
Jan 21 2016, 01:56 PM
Light Speed Critique: Soda, Zoom out a bit. You've got a lot of fully cramped panels and not too much relation to the characters in space. maybe also some gesture practice since a few of the motion panels seem static. TKM, I'd say try working on character consistency. Even within a cartoon keeping the general face/body shape and line width is important to keeping a comic flowing.
# 3
Posted:
Jan 21 2016, 05:49 AM
Maybe - I like the style of the finished first page, it's got a nice quality to it, but otherwise this is some messy; The eye just isn't directed where it needs to be, and the action isn't clear enough. Every panel feels like it's been filled just a bit too tighly and it took me a few reads to understand what the heck was going on, especially in the last page.
TKM - the art is real basic, but it's easy to follow and the story is hella silly and also unrefined but I dug it for it; It's pure and enjoyable without shame.
TKM - the art is real basic, but it's easy to follow and the story is hella silly and also unrefined but I dug it for it; It's pure and enjoyable without shame.
# 2
Posted:
Jan 20 2016, 04:07 PM
So stoked on this
# 1
Posted:
Jan 17 2016, 02:03 AM
GO SODA GO!
Speed Death Tournament Match
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Jan 23rd, 2016
Votes Cast:
38
Page Views:
1723
Winner:
AndMaybeASoda
Intro Story
King
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Help Needed
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Clash of the Chitin 2 Round 2
Myrmidon vs. Husk vs. Spidella Widows vs. Rod Chirpwood vs. Mizz Bonzai
@ 7:31 AM Mar 27th
The End of Extinction
@ 11:35 AM Mar 26th
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Artist
TKM: your art kinda needs some love, cleaning up etc, but man... The story has the beautiful underground comic feel, which I happen to be a total slut for lol. It was hilariously brutal haha