I love love LOVE this comic. Rae frustrates me, tbh, but that's more because I personally get frustrated by people who get suspicious of genuinely kind people. BUT, that's actually a success on your part, for portraying that well enough that it got an emotional reaction out of me. And I gotta commend you on a job well done as far as tying all the threads of your previous battles together, while also moving the plot forward and introducing a new plot element.

I do agree that you could've dealt with a few more distance shots, there were a lot of close-ups. Also, while the effect on the TV was an interesting choice, for me it didn't work simply because it honestly hurt my eyes to look at. It was watching a 3D movie without the glasses.

I'm hella excited to see where this goes, though, and I hope Rae learns to trust people!!

This was a lot of fun to read , not least that my boys(!) was in it and that a formerly used plot element from another comic(!!) was incorporated as well as hints at an ongoing story(!!!)

Really this was a gorgeous comic with a lot great character bits that are endearing and complimentary towards each other. I can’t wait to see where you take this next and love to see  you progress even further both in art and story!

This comic was a ton of work for me, so thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read, vote and/or leave feedback. Its really helpful and has given me some motivation to work on my next bb.  Cheers! <3

First of all this is a monster of a BB so BIG KUDOS on finishing it all. I aim for your resolve one day for my big BBs! The first two pages were a killer way to open this story, I just love them. David’s interactions with Rae and Blue are very sweet and I hope Rae learns to trust him in the future! Overall I just enjoyed this, I like your bright colours and style and look forward to learning more about Rae’s situation.

To add to the critique about your angles though, I’ve noticed it isn’t just the viewer distance that’s usually the same but the angle of the characters. The majority of the time everyone directly faces the viewer or has their head very slightly tilted away. I also mentioned this to you before but I thought I’d elaborate here - I don’t feel any power or menace from Dairyu when she attacks the flesh monster. She seems like a cute doll posing around it. There wasn’t such an issue in your actual battle with Dairyu though, so I’m guessing you just need to work out how to do more extreme lighting and motion lines when using full colour as opposed to monochrome.

PS: I really like how Blue’s speech bubble became a square once the machine started working, and I also don’t understand why people are making a big deal of the ghost box (I forgot what it was called and don’t have time to look it up okay XD)

I don't really have anything to add crit wise but i really liked this comic. I love the pages where you play with the layout of the page as well as this being a culmination of all your previous battles bringing up the characters from them and how it has been effecting your characters. This is really awesome and good job with it and I look forward to seeing more of it.

This is absolutely stunning, Flytee! I love the development we get with Rae and Blue and I loved really all the character interactions! Their dialogue sounded real and grounded while keeping to everyone’s personalities.

I think really my only critique for this would be to vary your angles. A majority of the comic is straight on bust shots that are all about the same distance from the viewer. Clearly you can do it, as you present a gorgeous panel on page 4 looking down at Rae and Blue- and we get to soak in the apartment details too.

Also, just a nit pick, I didn’t like the effect you used for the tv- It was extremely uncomfortable to look at and I had to try and go through a couple of times to review those panels. I could just be a giant babby tho lol

I can’t wait to see how their story unfolds. I love the dynamic Rae and Blue have - their personalities seem to be pretty opposite but they balance each other well.

I really dig the coloring style you use for your comics, it's so unique!
It's interesting to know what happens with these two outside of battles, and how they interact with other characters in non stressful situations (their character development is showing and i love it)
I just hope Rae can stop being so suspicious of David hahah (blue's interaction with him is so wholesome <3)
I can't wait for your next bb!

This is super cute and amazing Flytee. Did you do this traditionally? I can't tell anymore. It's so whimsical and your art gives me such good vibes whenever I see it.

It has that slice of life look to it but you amp it a notch by integrating it with fantasy/adventure/void elements which makes it even better. Your style is recognizable from a mile away it can be your brand now

As for crits. I noticed a typo here and there. I really don't have much crits to say except keep doing what you're doing as I am now really following and loving the story of Rae and Blue in their quest for answers

Also you know I totally ship Rae and David now. Hope to see more of them together

out of all the newbloods this year you're one of my fav, and that story confirms it.

I do find your environments a bit too clean at time, but you do have lot of framing skills and add nice textures. The colors are well balanced in general

Story wise, it reminds me of an adventure time episode. Nice.

re: ghost device

David has already dabbled in the supernatural and ghost communication in his Bootcamp Round Robin series, for those who haven't read those yet I recommend them; helping another ghost in a similar fashion with no strings attached is definitely in character and seeing him create a more sophisticated device from what he started with Miwesa is good progression

I certainly didn't see this invitation as "earth-shattering" its literally modelled off what "ghost hunters" use in real life, but it actually works in this comic because there IS a ghost there xD I'm sure this isn't the first or the last comic on here to feature paranormal themes being tangible.

My plan is to keep David relevant to the story. The purpose of his appearance was to give him and Rae more of a foundation and background for future battles. I also wanted to use him and his kindness to shine a light on how Rae's situation is causing her to become paranoid and isolated.
I'm sorry if its disapointing that I don't have some big twist for David, I actually loved your idea, but it just isn't what I'm going for in this series of comics. It also would've involved taking David way out of character.

I confess I haven't paid as much attention to these two as I should have but reading this comic made me want to really absorb the backlog. I'm 100% endeared and your sequential art skills are one of the strongest of this gen, can't wait to see more

I'm kind of amazed that people are seeing the communication device as this huge deal. In a world full of supernatural/powerful creatures, literal magic, advanced sci-fi tier tech... re-purposing some shitty ghost hunter gear, to communicate with a ghost. Didn't feel like a big stretch to me.

I guess I massively misjudged how significant it would feel to some readers! Still, I hope people understand my perspective here.

Yeah, not necessarily a betrayal, per se, like, he certainly could be intending to help them in some way. But to think he would really just invent something with such earth-shattering implications, I mean god, he literally just proved the existence of an afterlife and bridged the gap— how could anyone in David’s position not be curious and fascinated enough to want to follow up with the field test and further study someone who freaking sees and talks to a spirit? I know Birch’s character is this affable inventor who just does things for the fun of it and has no ulterior motivation, seemingly, but it’s so much juicier when even genuinely good characters aren’t quite all they let on. Really just anything that keeps a character relevant to the plot is always a good thing, and you’ve introduced a real banger of one here.

It seems you've made every story so far very significant and meaningful to their storyline, incorporating characters and encounters long after your battles are over. That's very impressive to me. The color separation on the TV is a nice touch. While I don't think the story needed to end with a betrayal, I think a little more could have been done with the "mistrust" theme her than her just stating she doesn't trust him after he casually invents the Device of the Century. Maybe she lets a hurtful comment slip when talking to David?

I love the paneling in this, expecially the monster slaying ones. Super clever stuff.. Colors are nice and your style is absurdly pleasant and cute but expressive enough to convey seriousness when you need to. I am looking forward to more!

I liked this comic quite a bit, it’s solid. But there’s one thing I wish you’d done, that would have elevated it just one more notch: I really wanted the final panel to be Rae’s last line emitting from a second radio held by David Birch, as it’s revealed that he’s bugged the ghost receiver he gave them, and clearly plans to follow them. His insistence that the gadget was free and Rae’s suspicion of his kindness had me really thinking he did have ulterior motives and that was going to go somewhere. And the way you made a point to show Rae putting the device in her bag before leaving had my hopes up even further that I knew where you were going with the plot, but it didn’t pan out. Not a complete missed opportunity, if that’s a direction you want to go, you can certainly retcon that in later, but it would have made for a perfect cliffhanger ending to add intrigue and suspense to this BB, and really make us wonder what will happen next!

I hope you guys enjoy this!! My main goal here was to make the comic make sense- without you needing context from previous comics, I also tried to be mindful of pacing and keeping the dialogue engaging. I'm particularly keen to get "entertainment" feedback. Thanks in advance for any crits <3

Anyway, this was a lot of work! I'M HAPPY ITS DONE. Thank you too Orion and snowymoth for giving me the go ahead to use David and Dairyu, they're excellent characters <3