yeah I guess it's the same guy, not sure if I meant to do that or not XD

squid: like sloane said, this would look great with your crumby inks. i got six pages' worth of fun out of this. i would say something about visual breathing room but you got it already. is that the same guy who got his haircut messed up the last time?

ronin: your drawings have gotten really good! we got a preview of this style in "a henshin fever valentine," but the lines in that one seemed sort of undecided. the lines in this one are very bold.
i sometimes got the feeling of crowdedness as i read this: i think this style compresses the image you're trying to record, like putting on a pair of reverse-3d glasses. it's interesting to look at, though.
onemorething - i think this comic would be MUCH stronger without the voice-overs past page 2. i thought they worked perfectly on pages 1 and 2 towards setting up the vignette that followed. but they took me out of the mood on pages 5 and 6. you're more than capable of showing us what's going on in ronin's head without having to explicitly say it!

Thanks Craqued :3

WHOOPS, my computer was jacking up.

Ro, agree with what Micahel said. Excellent comic, short and sweet and consistent in quality. I also like when characters are taken out of context and thrown into an AU, makes it way more fun like Squid said.
 
Squid, bummer you didnt finish but who cares. I cant wait until you do a bonafide comicbook in your awesome style, its so adorable! This was really cute and I think the panels would have been fine with the right inks.


Also I feel like I have to explain what style is since people seem to have a very wrong idea of what it means. Style comes from the word stylus which means pen. Style is the pen you draw with and thats it. Style is your point of view, the person them self. BY DEFAULT, BECAUSE YOU ARE A UNIQUE PERSON, YOU HAVE A UNIQUE STYLE BECAUSE THAT IS YOUR UNIQUE WAY OF DOING THINGS, regardless if it looks similar to someone or not. You develop YOURSELF and by effect your style is developed.

Now developing yourself/your style INVOLVES LEARNING FROM MULTITUDES OF INSPIRATIONS AND EXPERIENCE. We all take from everything and everyone and if you aren't, then you are ignorant and doing yourself a massive disservice. You develop by taking everything that inspires you, not by denying it. The more you take in, the more you will grow. "Authenticity is invaluable; originality is non-existent."

x

Ronin, I think it is time you developed a style of your own.  Everyone has inspiration, and that is great, but you never try to just apply it to what you do, and cop things instead.  You definitely have the skill.  I see you draw all these nice comics in other people's styles, but instead of developing something of your own with it - you will switch to someone elses style.  This comic isn't as blatant as the last, though, and I could definitely see you doing something with it if you add your own flavor to it.

Also, minus page 2 panel 2, I am not feeling your color selection at all.  It looks better with just the line art.

Ronin, this is seriously the best thing I have ever seen from you.  The anatomy  and perspective "mistakes" work really well with style to the point where they belong. The story was awesome, I tend to lean more toward "slice of life" realistic stuff anyway so this was right up my alley.

Squid. Tooooo many panels. I got bored on page one and started skimming. The art is always good, but it needed inking, the story was way too concentrated and kind of instantly bored me.

Squidman, good job. always entertaining.

Squid I like it a lot, people will tell you they wish it was finished, so I'll just stick with it's your style that draws me in and the dialog that keeps me in. Look forward to your next stuff.

ronin: I kinda missed it, It was really emotive and I guess I just missed it.

Squid - I think David rephrased it better for me. That's more along the lines of what I was trying to say. XD

Different interpretations of characters makes Void fun. :3

david- I do understand about giving the eye a rest. thanks for the comment, it was very helpful to me.

I'm wondering the same thing...D:

Ronin, this was certainly an odd match up.  And yeah, your Ben is odd and I have to agree that nearly any female on Void with a nice ass might have fulfilled this role.  I wonder if you are attempting to be more expressive with your art and maybe that's why everything seems...a little skewed.  Because it's not just the anatomy, I can tell that the city is also drawn in a similar way and perhaps with a similar thought in mind.  Ronin continues to look a little old for his age but it's cool.  Perhaps you intended to color the whole thing, because while the black/white ratio is ok, it needs a little texture, or like I said, maybe you had color in mind.  If I'm right about these things then all i can really say is keep working at it.[/quote]

Yes, I was trying to do a skewed style, and I intended to color it fully. Also Ronin is 19 now, so maybe his look makes more sense now.
As for Ben being odd, I thought while, like I said, it wasn't the most 'normal' representation of her, if you re-read it some of the things might make more sense. Like the fact that she becomes friends, or tries to befriend someone who just threatened to kill her. I tried to balance her quirkiness with some reality, since I wanted to do a more dark comic I guess. If to you she's odd or out of character, then I'm sorry, but I did try to show her personality a little bit. Maybe it was a more mellow Ben then, I guess. Thanks for the crits.

Thanks for such a helpful comment. And she wasn't supposed to be a whore in the comic, it was meant to be a 'non-sequitir' example of what she was talking about -- just like Ronin didn't actually kill someone right there in the alley. Albeit I did it without the proper explanation, I thought people would be able to tell. Apparently I was wrong. Anyways, I was trying to get into Ronin's head more this time, and I don't know if I succeeded, but I was trying something different. I also thought the way I represented Ben in the comic was acceptable, and although it wasn't the most quintessential Ben, I thought her reacting the ways she did would be something in character. I'm sorry about the ending being a little weird, I changed the ending three times, each making it fit a shorter page count. Thanks to those who are giving criticism, I appreciate it.

I have to agree.  Everyone loves Ben comics, who doesn't?  It's really sad that this is unfinished but c'est la vie.  Now to be honest, I prefer the detail and such in this comic to those comics that have way too much negative space etc.  But yeah, a nice open shot to let the eye roam would be nice too.  Just one little nitpicky thing is that I find the panel shapes odd.  Well more like specifically on the first page towards the bottom, when the panel with Robert has a corner that overlaps with Ronin's.  Just seems odd.  The juxtaposition of the panels doesn't really mean anything there.  A trivial fault but I find myself wondering about it.  Another thing I feel that needs to be considered is that if the comic were finished and inked, etc. the composition might have turned out differently too.  Well as always I look forward to future Ben shenanigans.

Ronin, this was certainly an odd match up.  And yeah, your Ben is odd and I have to agree that nearly any female on Void with a nice ass might have fulfilled this role.  I wonder if you are attempting to be more expressive with your art and maybe that's why everything seems...a little skewed.  Because it's not just the anatomy, I can tell that the city is also drawn in a similar way and perhaps with a similar thought in mind.  Ronin continues to look a little old for his age but it's cool.  Perhaps you intended to color the whole thing, because while the black/white ratio is ok, it needs a little texture, or like I said, maybe you had color in mind.  If I'm right about these things then all i can really say is keep working at it.

I don't think the comic was more confusing with the crowdedness for me it was just uncomfortable visually. It made the read much much faster....and I found it hard to focus on anything within each panel. There was a lot of good drawing in this comic that I think just became a malaise of blah.  I think if your style was simpler like a Chris Ware you could get away with 15 panels on a page.  I don't think there is anything wrong with giving your audience a visual rest...

thanks, qyz. but I kinda like the compact panels. Is there any place in particular where it made the comic confusing?

Since when was Ben a whore...

hmmm. I was kinda disappointed here, guys. But, no biggies. Comics is comics!

Ronin - You gotta work on that anatomy, man. Badly. It sticks out like a sore thumb. Some of Ronin's faces weren't bad... but it was really inconsistent. And Ben was sooo super out of character in your comic. It was like you had the part written for someone else entirely, and just threw Ben in as that person because she was your opponent. :/

Squids - sad you didn't finish ;_; I think in your pages, you could lessen up all the crowdedness. It means more pages, but clearer pages, and larger panels. I think my favorite part of the comic was just the way you drew Esquellio.

|: I     riiiight...



can't wait to see your stuff, both of you!

me too, i absotutely luv his work!

*insert a bitter pms comment here*
Also Good luck to the both of you, I can´t wait to see your work Ronin.

oh man, I can't wait to see what Helf's cooked up this time!!

Get ready for <excited>comics</excited> everyone.

huzzah!
lookin' forward to this.

JAWesome!

And the Magma.

Awesome

and finally we get more! :'D

Benin

And lo, behold...it is done.

OBOI