A Dish Best Served / Ma and Black Swan
Critiques & Comments
# 6
Posted:
Jul 18 2019, 06:10 PM
The colors in this are so amazing and I love the energy of the pages. I do agree that the story did get a little confusing where it moved so quickly, but the art is just so stunning my eyes are still glued to the page! Great job you two!!
# 5
Posted:
Jul 18 2019, 05:57 PM
Daang, there's a heck of a lot of synergy between you! Jay's dynamic line work provides perfect scaffolding for striking color choices. It makes this comic a real joy to look at!! A lot's going on here, but it reads more to me as a vignette of generally what these two are doing, rather than building on any explicit plot points, so it works. And sheeeesh that is a brutal killing move on Swan's side!
I don't know if I've mentioned this before though, and if I have, I apologize for being repetitive: Corn's dialogue is consistently very comma-free, and it makes the comic read weirdly to me. If you just peppered in a couple where you'd pause in speech, like after Guts' "Hay," and I wouldn't have any complaints.
I don't know if I've mentioned this before though, and if I have, I apologize for being repetitive: Corn's dialogue is consistently very comma-free, and it makes the comic read weirdly to me. If you just peppered in a couple where you'd pause in speech, like after Guts' "Hay," and I wouldn't have any complaints.
# 4
Posted:
Jul 18 2019, 05:37 PM
I liked it a lot! The art worked ogether for sure!
One thing though, the pacing was quite quick? Just, One scene switched from another without too much context which can be quite confusing.
Overall. I enjoyed it though.
One thing though, the pacing was quite quick? Just, One scene switched from another without too much context which can be quite confusing.
Overall. I enjoyed it though.
# 3
Posted:
Jul 18 2019, 05:06 PM
This was a unexpected but very good collab! I love the way your styles harmonize. The solid blacks work well with the colors and the very defined, shape oriented visuals. Writing wise I felt it moved a bit fast at time, but it was still a good showing and it was throughout. Solid job both of you!
# 2
Posted:
Jul 13 2019, 04:25 PM
Good stuff guys!
Corn the action here is a big improvement over previous entries of yours, the movement is understood easily and makes the scenes more effective. My only real gripe is that it pacing is actually *TOO* fast. So much happens in 5 pages with no room to breathe and as a result even as I should be feeling a dread from seeing Swan manipulated into murder (great to see Ma's powers at work again after a long while on the backburner), I end up feeling like I just got the cliffnotes version of what happened and as a result it's not as powerful as it could have been for me.
Corn the action here is a big improvement over previous entries of yours, the movement is understood easily and makes the scenes more effective. My only real gripe is that it pacing is actually *TOO* fast. So much happens in 5 pages with no room to breathe and as a result even as I should be feeling a dread from seeing Swan manipulated into murder (great to see Ma's powers at work again after a long while on the backburner), I end up feeling like I just got the cliffnotes version of what happened and as a result it's not as powerful as it could have been for me.
# 1
Posted:
Jul 13 2019, 01:35 PM
I love how the colors keep switching through this and they all standout and seem to naturally flow into each other. also the inks are great. Also swan just straight up kills the person as well as likely killing the other in MA induced rage is great. Page 4 is my favorite because the layout is awesome. you two have a great synergy and I'm interested to see where the story goes.
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
Jul 18th, 2019
Votes Cast:
20
Page Views:
1528
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