Well done, dude. Coloring ended up being not bad at all! Especially considering the last-minute rush. Keep up the good work!
Dollhouse: The High Roller Part 1 / Mayes Meindert
Critiques & Comments
# 7
Posted:
May 23 2020, 06:39 PM
# 6
Posted:
May 23 2020, 09:02 AM
Interesting premise, very well executed to me to get hooked in, I enjoyed this comic and wanna see where its going, great job Arts.
# 5
Posted:
May 23 2020, 01:52 AM
I like seeing Mayes here in what seems to be his element with gambling, as unhealthy as it is for him hahah. The use of gradients on the figures looks really great as well- I especially like how it looks on skintones, and the way you've drawn Mayes in this comic's looking really good, that page 2 panel where he's quickly looking around is probably my favorite lol-- I also like the auctioneer guy's design hahah
I agree with the crits so far, for quick fixes the biggest thing I can think of is to add numbers to the auction paddles on page 2, I'm thinking maybe in white? The black paddle blends into the background a little bit, and the auctioneer does call out a number so I feel it'd make sense that they have numbers regardless of being distinguished by shape/color. There's also one or two places where I see could be cleaned up a little (a small dot on page 1 panel 1, a couple dots and edges on page 2 panel 1's background) so I'd recommend taking a quick look for stuff like that, though it's super minor. Also i see that little prosthetic hand our masked scorpion mans holding, very sneaky lol I like that little hint
For other crit, the gag part caught me off guard a little as it appears to be magic but we don't really have much indication that there's magic in this world yet (With it being a webtoon, I assume readers there will not have much context for the world so far), though we do get a confirmation on the next page with Mayes' magic listed on his card. What I'm also left wondering about a little is who's money are they gambling? Is this still their own money or are they given money? I assume they're gambling to hold up the illusion that there's nothing illegal happening but I don't think it's made entirely clear that the gambling is in a different room as the auction, so it doesn't feel clear as to why they need to have that cover. I'm not entirely sure how to remedy that besides more establishing shots? Though I fear that would've broken the flow hahah. Does Mayes know he is being sold? He seems very genuinely happy at the tables despite the situation. Though that could just be saying a lot about him as maybe the thrill of gambling is enough to elate him even while his life is on the line!
Besides that my last note for future stuff is to watch out for the quality of the textures you use, on places like the walls in Mayes' room they seem a little lower resolution compared to the rest of the art. And with such clear gradients on the figures I'd recommend extending that to the background a bit more, especially on walls/floors! I notice it in a few places but not quite everywhere, so I'd say it'd look nicer and more consistent if you were to lean into that a little more.
This turned out super long I don't know how to spoiler, apologies loool but! This comic rocks and it's clear you've been improving a lot, great stuff good luck on the next episode!
I agree with the crits so far, for quick fixes the biggest thing I can think of is to add numbers to the auction paddles on page 2, I'm thinking maybe in white? The black paddle blends into the background a little bit, and the auctioneer does call out a number so I feel it'd make sense that they have numbers regardless of being distinguished by shape/color. There's also one or two places where I see could be cleaned up a little (a small dot on page 1 panel 1, a couple dots and edges on page 2 panel 1's background) so I'd recommend taking a quick look for stuff like that, though it's super minor. Also i see that little prosthetic hand our masked scorpion mans holding, very sneaky lol I like that little hint
For other crit, the gag part caught me off guard a little as it appears to be magic but we don't really have much indication that there's magic in this world yet (With it being a webtoon, I assume readers there will not have much context for the world so far), though we do get a confirmation on the next page with Mayes' magic listed on his card. What I'm also left wondering about a little is who's money are they gambling? Is this still their own money or are they given money? I assume they're gambling to hold up the illusion that there's nothing illegal happening but I don't think it's made entirely clear that the gambling is in a different room as the auction, so it doesn't feel clear as to why they need to have that cover. I'm not entirely sure how to remedy that besides more establishing shots? Though I fear that would've broken the flow hahah. Does Mayes know he is being sold? He seems very genuinely happy at the tables despite the situation. Though that could just be saying a lot about him as maybe the thrill of gambling is enough to elate him even while his life is on the line!
Besides that my last note for future stuff is to watch out for the quality of the textures you use, on places like the walls in Mayes' room they seem a little lower resolution compared to the rest of the art. And with such clear gradients on the figures I'd recommend extending that to the background a bit more, especially on walls/floors! I notice it in a few places but not quite everywhere, so I'd say it'd look nicer and more consistent if you were to lean into that a little more.
This turned out super long I don't know how to spoiler, apologies loool but! This comic rocks and it's clear you've been improving a lot, great stuff good luck on the next episode!
# 4
Posted:
May 22 2020, 08:57 PM
This was really interesting. I enjoyed the first page, it had a nice rhythm to it with the called out phrases and the different arrangements of cards. Mayes’ expressions are very good here too, I loved all of his happy faces on page 1! You’ve improved a lot, and I feel like you’re using the body to aid with emoting more, good job!
I like how you did the crowd scenes, I know you struggled with them a lot but I think you managed to give a good effect without drawing everybody (after that first panel). I also think Mayes’ room was good - it was empty but with the texture and situation, it felt intentional. It definitely gave off a kind of desolate air, especially with what seems to be the single light shining right on the bottle of alcohol and the hitlist, as if they’re Mayes’ only option/hope. I like that detail.
For “quick fixes” like you asked, what stood out to me was that characters have shading on their person but no shadows? If everything only had flat colours it would have been fine, but it’s in this weird limbo - a gradient on the characters doesn’t make them seem in shadow when things like the table are still the same bright colour. Adding some shadows on the table on page 1 would help a lot imo. Also sometimes the characters have nails and sometimes they don’t, which is a little distracting, so you could add those in. And on page 3, Mayes’ “card” is kind of squashed during the auction scene, so you could just adjust that back to normal!
Moving onto the in-depth critique you requested, under the cut because it’s longg.
I like how you did the crowd scenes, I know you struggled with them a lot but I think you managed to give a good effect without drawing everybody (after that first panel). I also think Mayes’ room was good - it was empty but with the texture and situation, it felt intentional. It definitely gave off a kind of desolate air, especially with what seems to be the single light shining right on the bottle of alcohol and the hitlist, as if they’re Mayes’ only option/hope. I like that detail.
For “quick fixes” like you asked, what stood out to me was that characters have shading on their person but no shadows? If everything only had flat colours it would have been fine, but it’s in this weird limbo - a gradient on the characters doesn’t make them seem in shadow when things like the table are still the same bright colour. Adding some shadows on the table on page 1 would help a lot imo. Also sometimes the characters have nails and sometimes they don’t, which is a little distracting, so you could add those in. And on page 3, Mayes’ “card” is kind of squashed during the auction scene, so you could just adjust that back to normal!
Moving onto the in-depth critique you requested, under the cut because it’s longg.
# 3
Posted:
May 22 2020, 04:32 PM
This was neat Arts! Kinda clarifies the SDT Mayes.
The first page seems to be a different resolution than what you may have intended. It was rather fuzzy for me. A couple of perspective tweaks with the cards on the table in panel three page two.
Catscorpion. Scatorpion?
The first page seems to be a different resolution than what you may have intended. It was rather fuzzy for me. A couple of perspective tweaks with the cards on the table in panel three page two.
Catscorpion. Scatorpion?
# 2
Posted:
May 21 2020, 11:49 PM
finally finished this X,X This is all going to be the first episode for when i realease this as a webtoon. I can make some small edits so any little issues like that that are quick fixes would be nice to point out. also any recomendations for stuff i can work on in the future episodes will be nice.
# 1
Posted:
May 2 2020, 07:34 PM
I have been working on a webtoon for the short story contest, however progress has been slow so I'm putting this up to make sure I get the first episode done by a week and potentially more after.
Beyond Battle
Drawing Time:
1 week
Ended:
May 28th, 2020
Votes Cast:
15
Page Views:
1012
Monsters of Nature
Dairyu vs. Rickter & Gus
@ 8:14 PM Mar 28th
Intro Story
King
@ 3:09 PM Mar 28th
Help Needed
Theakon
@ 8:41 AM Mar 28th
Speed Death Tournament 2018, Finals
Rue and Wormwood vs. Aleyjah & Sukri vs. Usagi
Speed Death Tournament Match
Rue and Wormwood vs. Aleyjah & Sukri vs. Usagi
Speed Death Tournament Match
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Artist
As for the crits - like what was already said - the gag scene was a bit sudden and out of the blue so I feel like that could've been expanded more. Also just more practice of course. Some facial anatomy for the humans looked off but overall they look good. I highly recommend flipping the canvas every now and then to see any lopsided-ness in drawings overall.
Again, great job! You're getting better and better.