God, I was excited to read these comics when they first came out, and I'm FINALLY free to get caught up!

Pita, I absolutely love the sense of lore you're building with all of your Zoey comics, and I feel like you do such a great job adapting each new character into her story. I really liked your interpretation of the Wyrm, and although Zoey didn't do much in this comic, I feel like at this point all of her friends are equally part of her comics, and that's pretty cool. The colors were really pretty, your art in general was really solid, and I look forward to more of this story!

Cy, I love how you tied lore into your comic as well, and I love how the Wyrm is ever unflinching in its personality, even when something unfortunate happens to it. Your interpretation of Zoey was really interesting to see, and while I'm not sure if it worked for me personally, I appreciate that you did the extra work of adapting her to fit your style and the reality that exists within your comics. Characters like that can be really hard to adapt, and it's all too easy to just copy the way the original artist draws them. In your case, my issue is mainly just that because she looked so much like a real chicken, it made her ability to speak and hold things really weird, and it took away her ability to emote with facial expressions. I'm not sure if you were going for a regular chicken who has been enchanted, or if in your comic there's just a race of sentient beings who look like chickens. Either way, I appreciate that you took the time to draw Zoey in a way that made sense to you for your comic!

Pita: Mannnn your colors in this comic are so pleasing to look at. The art and visuals in general are on point in this! Your interpretation of Wyrm was certainly an interesting one--i really like the way you did his mouth and the more snake-like shape of his head, but I admit I'm not sure how to feel about the multiple eyes? nostrils? Or the lack of a more obvious mask. I do like that you had the "mask" be covering his one central eye, but I wish it had been more obviously a mask or had some other details added to it instead of being just a blank white dome--imo the distinct part about Wyrm's mask is that it has a Masquerade type feel to it which I felt was lacking? Thats just a nitpick thing tho lol, so take that with a grain of salt Story-wise, I thought it was a cute enjoyable little story, with some moments that gave me a good chuckle (mostly from Klippo lol, loved him being so utterly repulsed that he slips out of character XD) and the moment with Pockets was really cool! However, for me personally, the story was a bit... predictable. It's not always a bad thing to set up a reader's expectations for whats gonna happen, but for me almost as soon as Klippo laid out the plan of pandering to Wyrm I knew how it was gonna go--Klippo does his acting, but then Pockets messes it up by calling Wyrm out. And I think that was less of a 'setting up proper foreshadowing' thing and more of an 'already kind of did this plotline' thing.  You even pointed it out yourself, when the group reminds Pockets of what happened last time! I think it would've been more interesting for me if maybe Squiggums had jumped the gun and jumped out to accuse Wyrm too soon instead, or if literally anyone other than Pockets had wrecked the plan. That said though it was really cool getting to see Pocket's pocket dimension

Cy: I don't have a whole lot to say that I didn't already say to you in the process of you making this lol, other than to echo what the others have said that this lifeless style works really well for these characters!! I'm uncertain whether or not it'd work as well with more human characters but it works so well for this cast. It gives it an almost storybook feel?

I loved the way you reconciled Zoey's wing-hands into a believable form, though I do sort of agree that you could have tried pushing her expressions a bit more without sacrificing any of the semi-realism you were going for.

And of course you know I love the story XD Wyrm is such a melodramatic binch I live him.

I remember you mentioning you wanted Wyrm's speech to be all wibbly--as much as your handwriting does convey that, I think in the future you may want to find an alternate wibbly font to use instead, for better clarity. Your handwriting isn't illegible, don't get me wrong, but it also isn't quite as clear as a font would be.

Pita: Squiggums is really cute in your style and your art is overall really good in this. This story has a good core with some great development for pocket, but it is too bloated for me enjoy the first half of this comic. Like the 2nd bubble on page 2 could have been shortened to "you gotta cater to their ego and wants to get information you want." None of the other dialogue in the bubble adds any more information, characterization, or humor and should have been cut. When writing dialogue you should look for words and phrases that you can cut so that the reader can appreciate the other aspects of the comic and not spend their time reading the bubbles and figuring out the purpose of each word bubble.
It's fine to have a long bubble or even a text heavy page every now and then, but 5 pages in a row this dense with a lot of filler dialogue that doesn't help the core of this story. Pocket being so wordy on page 5 is very odd when they have shown to do things without talking to others when they're calm, yet in this situation when they have a personal stake and are angrier they become wordier. When she's frustrated why would she say anything more than "You are nothing but a scaley charlatan"?
When a comic gets this wordy I notice I either get hyper critical of it analyzing it in depth trying to parse all the details, or I phase out and blank past it. While this may be a bit critical It's becuase I was invested in this story and the overall story you're doing with Zoey and her crew.

Cy: You do good creatures and this was a really nice comic overall. The art here is really good overall and I didn't really have any crits for it. But when camel mentioned doing more for the crystal lighting I agree with him and think you could have pushed it much further. It would really push this art to the next level if this setting had that more extreme lighting going on.
Story wise one thing that seems a bit odd is they had no clear way of getting to that portal so it wasn't an issue of trying to save wyrn or trying to escape sicne they had no clear way of escaping to that portal, Even when pocket tries they were no where near close to getting there, so a small thing to establish them being able to get there would help make the choice seem more dramatic. Also the ending was great.

Pita: O GREAT AND GLORIOUS LONG BOY. I like the chemistry all the characters have here. They make an entertaining team to watch, and it's fun watching this kind of interaction with a being like Wyrm (and what a rendition!). I like the image of them standing amongst the petrified fleeing figures on page 2, but I didn't fully register it at first. Similar with the fact that the eye that did the job is covered with a contact lens. There definitely is a lot of lore being used here, and I suppose I need to catch up because I did feel a little lost the first time through.

Cy: You are so good at creatures! I love the look of this comic, especially naturalistic Zoey, who is so precious in a way that doesn't need toony caricature. Even for a comic that's "to be continued," it feels a little incomplete since a lot of it was spent on the "Should we help wyrm?" back-and-forth. I wonder if that conversation could have used some sort of "character defining" moment to give that choice a little more meaning.

PITA-I think you found it. The secret sauce, that sweet spot of coloring and inking that works harmoniously to compliment one another. I dig you've been experimenting lately (and in TTT I think) with different looks. Definitely keep pushing the boundaries, but this coloring style? It sparkles.

THE STORY. Maaaan, you used these three weeks for quite a wind up. This has been carefully building since you began this whole Zoey saga. She's not even the main character for this particular chapter, but I'm utterly ok with it. Pockets whole development and the new mysteries they keep cropping up finally got me hooked. What DID happen to the moon god? I gotta know!

I also really dig how you stylized your opponents character. You made it fit your world and plugged the Wyrm into an interesting role to fit your building lore. I'm just delightfully surprised by this whole comic I found myself coming back to re-read it. I'll second and third the crits you've received regarding the word bubbles and ensuring you're capitalizing on your panels so there isn't a wealth of empty space. But personally? I don't have any big complaints. This was a real fun read.

CY- I'll also second and third the lineless style being a total look. It definitely works for you. I especially like the rendering of the cave crystals and the environment in general. I would like to see more punch to it though. I know Shen and Pyras are known for lineless style that I think really capitalizes on using values and shadows to give depth. So I'd definitely give some of their battles utilizing this style a looksee.
I'm split on the depiction of Zoey. I will agree that the look was new and fresh- I'm always a fan of voiders interpreting their opponents in unique ways and I think you succeeded, but the realism gave your capacity to emote with the character a hit. Which is weird because you nudge more into stylization with the other supporting cast- and even with your own character. I think it was played too real, making moments like Wyrms reveal, or the possible crunch on pg 7 feel a little lackluster. I think that could be compensated for with more of a dynamic angle to give that sense of surprise and impact. sorry to see you had offline trubs and this tale didnt get an ending, but I hope we get to find out what kinda bargain will be struck.
I'd highly highly recommend finding or creating your own custom font. I don't know if it was just the deadline looming, but the handwritten dialogue felt more like a placeholder than final work.

Pita - Shifting to this new coloring style has instantly improved the look of this comic, especially because your color palettes are so strong - this may be your best looking comic to date, since House of Fragments. The background shading is a bit haphazard at times, but other times that style works very well, especially on page 6, which is a phenomenal looking page. Your framing is also really improving, I'm very happy to see you pulling the camera out a bit, doing some awesome perspective shots like the one on page 4. The character interactions are super fun and clever, Klippo being a sycophant to Wyrm made me laugh quite a bit. Wyrm is drawn so well, so serpentine and conniving but also drawn with that ego, really makes them look intimidating. Pocket is causin' trouble once again, but it's clear in the writing that something's different now, it shows their emotions more.  Even though Zoey doesn't say much in this comic, having her have this ensemble really opens up the characterization of this comic. Your bubbles and text could use some work, they're quite big - On page 2, giant text bubbles completely cover the mouth of the cave. I think if you switched to a thicker font, you could scale them down by 50% and they would still be totally readable, but wouldn't cover up so much of your art. And at times, the bubbles can be a bit bloated, if you scale them down you can break the sentences more often.

Cy - I like the lineless rendering style, and paired with Zoey's design in particular, it evokes a real sense of folklore. The colors are pleasant and remarkably clean, although it could have used at least one shading pass. The bubbling and text generally looks good, there is a bubble flow inconsistency on the final panel of page 5, and Wyrm's text is a bit difficult to read. Page 2 is really gorgeous, my favorite looking page in the comic. I think some more light would do this cave setting well, like if those blue crystals were emitting enough light to make the bottom of the cave glow, it would've livened up the background.

PITA-
First of all, LOVELY COLORS! The backgrounds and linework were really nicely stylized! The character interactions felt rly organic and natural. Klippo's attempt to drink the water was rly adorable and funny. Panel composition was very lovely and interesting to look at! Some of the panels with white background seemed a little bit empty though-
Lovely work overall! Seeing Zoey in action was pretty sweet! And Pocket's sad stare at the moon made me feel sad...which is great!

CY-
This art style really works! The way you draw teeth and animalistic characters is definitely your strong suit, it shows your passion for biology for sure
I'm a little confused as to why Zoey is looking more realistic than Klippo, since he kept his stylized proportions as opposed to Zoey. She looks adorable, mind you! But it kinda got me thinking why that specific choice. While the colors and the lack of lines look great, I think it sometimes affected your art negatively- Wyrm just came out of the water, yet he looks completely dry. And while the comic looks sweet and neat, nothing really happens. Their exchange was fun to read, but at the end of the day there didn't seem to be any consequences. Judging by the ending, something will happen in the next bit- but I think a comic strip (even if it's a stepping stone to a greater event) should have a sort of action-consequence thing going on. I know the portal closed, but the characters didn't seem too bothered by it, yanno?

Great job, both of you!

Just a quickie comment form me.
Pita- Charming art as always, I loved the set up here and general pacing of the story. You used your opponent's character very well- tweaking just enough to make him fit into your narrative, whilst maintaining his original vibe. Big points for that!
Small crit- the shading looking a little haphazard at times, for me this relaxed style worked occasionally, but the areas where you went over the lines or into the gutter were distracting.  

Cy- I'll say it again I think this is one of your nicest most polished comics art-wise. It's really cool watching you improve and finding your footing with each comic. I liked the moody colour pallet and how you tweaked Zoey's design to fit into your world more. Plus she just looks really cute haha. The story was decent and easy to follow & I appreciate the sinsiter ending.
Crit wise, I Think the Wyrm's text, while nicely done (hooray for handwritten text!) would have been clearer and more impactful in capital letters. I also would've liked to see more of a struggle during the scene where the gang are pulling the Wyrm ashore, It looked way to easy! That scene felt like a missed opportunity to push body language and maybe pull the shot back.

 

Cy: Yoooo I really liked the rendering on the first pages, they were super cool. I would have darkened some spots to give more pop to the rest of the images, a few examples would be the water at the bottom of the third panel; just make the bottom corners darker. The Wyrm's written text is legible but imo should have thicker lines, just to make it stand out a bit more. I did like how his weird written text was part of the world with people reacting to it. Speaking of which, your [CRACK] sfx was neato, it came out well! The crunch one not so much, it looked a bit muddied against the darker background; I'd have prolly just kept it white like the 1st one. The splashing around in the water scene was really good, the Wyrm had a lot of good motion to him. The decision to draw Zoey as actul chicken was an interesting one, I don't hate it at all, but I worry it have cost some measure of expressiveness and 'humanity', an example being where she's tugging on the rope I can't make out much strain. With regards to writing the story on the fly and the pacing I can see points where you could have skipped entire panels out and not lost any cohesion. Page 4 has the first or the second image; either could have been cut and it'd have been fine. You could have merged the dialogue the 4th panel into the 5th panel of that same page and dropped the entire 4th panel. Doing both of those would have freed up somethin like a third of that page for you to continue the story, or just have less work to do. As with your previous works I really liked your super crisp line quality, it's really good, so yeah gj keeping that up. Nice work!

Pita: aaaaAAAAAA SQUIGGUMS She's with Zoey's lil' gang! I love it ;_; It's so cool to see where you took her and to see her work with others. She looks so cute in your style. Seriously I love this and I can only hope to see her return in one of your comics. :3 Okay gushing aside, onto the comic~ I really liked your sketchy backgrounds throughout, they were super effective and evocative. I typed out a small list of ones that stood out, but then I realised I was actually listing most of them, haha. The one of note that stuck with me was Squigs and Zoey by the door on page 5 as he flees through the doorway. The writing was really good, though the first page suffered from some bloat in Squiggums description of the water decay and her going to get help, I think that could have been trimmed back. Incidentally I love that it's a different story, like an alternate timeline of Squiggums once again facing the Wrym, I thought that was pretty cool! The pocket dimension fight between Pockets and the Wyrm was super cool and that page with the Wyrm coming face to face with Pocket's 'true form' (I think?) was amazing. The bit where the gang just drop a towel over the Wyrms head to stop his petrification eye cracked me up. Pita you're a great storyteller and this comic is bursting with charm. Amazing!

Submitted. I unfortunately fell into a depressive episode like a day after accepting this battle, so pretty early on I knew the rendering style I’d picked wasn’t sustainable and switched to a simpler one from page 3 onwards. I also essentially wrote the story on the fly since I just pushed myself to work whenever I could and soldier onwards with all the time I’d wasted. As a result I feel like the pacing is pretty off and I’m not super happy with the story. But visually I’m pretty proud of myself and I’d be interested to hear people’s thoughts on the new style/s I tried out here!

Thanks for battling me Pita! I hope we can fight again when I can bring my A-game, and I’m really excited to see your half!

Zoey will take on a god with the power of FRIENDSHIP!

Extension, activate!

We were both having a slow start, may we have a little mercy.

Camel if I let you down I'm So Sorry

Excited for this one!