Congratulation Neo!
I liked a lot your history and your interpretation of my characters, your eight page really inspired me! =) Thanks for the battle!
Danielle vs. Voltaica y Gota
Critiques & Comments
# 12
Posted:
Jun 4 2011, 11:38 AM
# 11
Posted:
Jun 3 2011, 11:17 PM
NeoIcarus: Great to see you participating again after that little break from the tournament!
Your line widths need some work I feel, cause there's a lot on it that could use developing. A lot of the images look like flat graphics instead of a person existing in 3D space, since you have no real depth lines there. I also think you should try using tones or at least play with your grays more.
The art was plenty readable, but I think shadows would have really helped. It wasn't a real setback, I just think there could have been just a little more done to really improve what you had there. The single colored page was neat, but I think it could have been developed a little more, instead of using just flats on it.
The story was good. It makes a nice set up if VeeGee's joins Girl Power after this. The Mantisaur section was cool, I liked him a lot more than the mucus monster. I really loved that bitchy magical girl. I half-expected her to light a cigarette and start smoking. I'd love to see her used again in some kind of SDT or as a regular character even.
This was a fun fight and it was nice to see Danielle again. We'll have to rematch one of these days! Good job.
Betito: This was a real surprise. I wasn't expecting all you had managed here.
Page 2's bang panel really lacks any kind of impact or feeling to it I feel. With no gunshot wound or any impact about the shot, it may as well have been magic wands pointed at them and said 'now you die!' Even if you were going for a more child-like comic, I think this part could have been handled with more depth and 'punch' to it.
Everything feels kind of squinched in. Like you tried desperately to push in a lot of action and detail each page you have here. Are these half-pages? They kind of look like it. I think you pulled out what could have been two comics here. Whether less would have ultimately been more, I don't know.
I actually liked seeing the pencil texture on your stuff, I kind of wish you had kept that on all pages cause it looks pretty good I think. The art's pretty solid, it also seems different than your last fight by quite a bit. Lot of versatility you got there! I think the lack of backgrounds also kind of hurt you here.
I have no real opinion on the story. It's a good opener and established a villain, I'm just not too drawn in yet. We'll see how it goes though, it shows promise!
This was a surprisingly good comic and I can say I didn't expect it either. I hope your next one is just as good!
Your line widths need some work I feel, cause there's a lot on it that could use developing. A lot of the images look like flat graphics instead of a person existing in 3D space, since you have no real depth lines there. I also think you should try using tones or at least play with your grays more.
The art was plenty readable, but I think shadows would have really helped. It wasn't a real setback, I just think there could have been just a little more done to really improve what you had there. The single colored page was neat, but I think it could have been developed a little more, instead of using just flats on it.
The story was good. It makes a nice set up if VeeGee's joins Girl Power after this. The Mantisaur section was cool, I liked him a lot more than the mucus monster. I really loved that bitchy magical girl. I half-expected her to light a cigarette and start smoking. I'd love to see her used again in some kind of SDT or as a regular character even.
This was a fun fight and it was nice to see Danielle again. We'll have to rematch one of these days! Good job.
Betito: This was a real surprise. I wasn't expecting all you had managed here.
Page 2's bang panel really lacks any kind of impact or feeling to it I feel. With no gunshot wound or any impact about the shot, it may as well have been magic wands pointed at them and said 'now you die!' Even if you were going for a more child-like comic, I think this part could have been handled with more depth and 'punch' to it.
Everything feels kind of squinched in. Like you tried desperately to push in a lot of action and detail each page you have here. Are these half-pages? They kind of look like it. I think you pulled out what could have been two comics here. Whether less would have ultimately been more, I don't know.
I actually liked seeing the pencil texture on your stuff, I kind of wish you had kept that on all pages cause it looks pretty good I think. The art's pretty solid, it also seems different than your last fight by quite a bit. Lot of versatility you got there! I think the lack of backgrounds also kind of hurt you here.
I have no real opinion on the story. It's a good opener and established a villain, I'm just not too drawn in yet. We'll see how it goes though, it shows promise!
This was a surprisingly good comic and I can say I didn't expect it either. I hope your next one is just as good!
# 10
Posted:
Jun 3 2011, 10:13 PM
Awesome job, both of you! Betito especially, your artwork has improved by leaps and bounds. It's almost like you're someone else entirely, wow.
And did my character just get a double-cameo?? RAWKIN' <3
And did my character just get a double-cameo?? RAWKIN' <3
# 9
Posted:
May 31 2011, 09:03 PM
WOAAAAAH!! you 2 rocked this out hard,
Neo, great pacing and entertaining. Very dynamic and fun from the jump, drew me into the story. The boop panel on page 8 needs more ear definition I think, threw me at first. Angles/shots layouts very well done. Action and characterization are excellent, probably the best comic of yours I've ever read.
Betito, HOLY SHIT, your art is looking amazing these days!!! Really good, Nice build up to the action, I don't know if you needed the "To be continued/part 2" stuff. Pages were a bit small too, had to zoom in. Overall the lovely art and character designs kept me hooked in, really cool baddies AND goodies, looking forward to more of this!
Neo, great pacing and entertaining. Very dynamic and fun from the jump, drew me into the story. The boop panel on page 8 needs more ear definition I think, threw me at first. Angles/shots layouts very well done. Action and characterization are excellent, probably the best comic of yours I've ever read.
Betito, HOLY SHIT, your art is looking amazing these days!!! Really good, Nice build up to the action, I don't know if you needed the "To be continued/part 2" stuff. Pages were a bit small too, had to zoom in. Overall the lovely art and character designs kept me hooked in, really cool baddies AND goodies, looking forward to more of this!
# 8
Posted:
May 30 2011, 07:41 AM
Good lord, both of you did great work on your comics. Really loved the set-up for both plots, although I feel NeoIcarus edged out for me in terms of plot- Betito, I was having a little trouble following along with the sudden introduction of the new characters towards the end. Icarus, your black and white work is pretty solid, but your colors are a wee bit too oversaturated in my book. Take it down just a teeny bit, my eyeballs will thank you.
# 7
Posted:
May 29 2011, 12:13 PM
mr.Icarus, your stuff is pretty damn fun, as always, I loved the mantis' intoduction. I probably laughed more than was apropriate.
Mr. Betito, I have to applaud the effort you obviously put into this. You have some pretty good ideas and concepts -those bad guys are just amazing- but the dialogue seems really forced, it's too straight up and expositary.
At least consider the way you pace it, if you just put pauses by separating the dialogue at some key point, you can already improve it a lot.
For expample, the very last bit of dialogue. you could have just slightly separated the first half of Gota's dialogue and the "besides, it'll be fun". When saying this, there would be a natural pause between the two subjects.
Fun comics, both, nice and light.
Mr. Betito, I have to applaud the effort you obviously put into this. You have some pretty good ideas and concepts -those bad guys are just amazing- but the dialogue seems really forced, it's too straight up and expositary.
At least consider the way you pace it, if you just put pauses by separating the dialogue at some key point, you can already improve it a lot.
For expample, the very last bit of dialogue. you could have just slightly separated the first half of Gota's dialogue and the "besides, it'll be fun". When saying this, there would be a natural pause between the two subjects.
Fun comics, both, nice and light.
# 6
Posted:
May 28 2011, 08:44 AM
Great stuff, both of you
# 5
Posted:
May 27 2011, 11:19 PM
Jesus Fucking christ.
Hold on while I
Hold on while I
# 4
Posted:
May 24 2011, 10:31 AM
Uploaded!
Good luck NeoIcarus!
Good luck NeoIcarus!
# 3
Posted:
May 18 2011, 05:36 AM
Ahhh this is a great match up!! Good luck to all!
# 2
Posted:
Apr 29 2011, 11:06 PM
This is one I eagerly await. Bring the noise!
# 1
Posted:
Apr 29 2011, 07:36 PM
Righteous, can't wait to see what you two do!
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
3 weeks + 1
Ended:
Jun 3rd, 2011
Votes Cast:
24
Page Views:
2257
Winner:
NeoIcarus
99 Problems and a Cat
Croi Desai vs. HR99
@ 12:30 AM Apr 23rd
einsam
Colbitzer
@ 3:32 PM Apr 17th
Birthright
Saal, Louise Ambre-Aliona, and Llaana
@ 3:44 PM Apr 16th
Help Needed
Theakon
@ 2:19 PM Apr 16th
The Great Switcheroo
Louise Ambre-Aliona vs. Luniel Gekka
@ 3:26 AM Apr 15th
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|
253 Guests, 0 Users
Most Online Today: 430.
Most Online Ever: 1,184 (Jan 13, 2020, 06:21 PM)
Artist
Thanks to everyone who commented, voted, critiqued, or even just read this battle.
RoflQu: Thanks for the critique, buddy! And yeah, I've been wondering on how to use Yuki some more. That SDT idea isn't bad. And that rematch is coming. This I swear.
Rabbit: Thank you. And if you ask me...it's starting to look like a triple cameo. Oooooooooohhhhhhh!
Joshua: Thank you. It's only going to be uphill from here. Or is it downhill? You know what I mean.
Brian: Thank you. If I ever have the audacity to color anything again, I'll keep that in mind.
Le Fred: Thanks. Laughter is the best medicine. You've saved Mantisaur from a fate most foul!
Pyras: Thank you!
Monday: Thank y