Dances with Wolves / Sovereign Greece vs. Black Swan

Dances with Wolves — Sovereign Greece vs. Black Swan

Critiques & Comments

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Rivana
Artist

368 comments

# 16 Posted: Jun 2 2020, 09:01 AM

Super late comment! Such a CLOSE battle.

I'd like to commend you both for a job well done. I know this is a smut battle but I love that there is a story behind it and tension that can carry on to future comics for both of these characters. I like how Swan's experiences and trauma are changing her surprising everyone she is interacting with these days. I'd also like to see more of Greece and how he takes revenge on Swan after this (or the other way around, whichever you guys pick to be canon).

Either way, I REALLY REALLY hope this isn't the last time we see these two together in a comic. I know most ships lead to build up first before sex but starting it from a tryst and see how it goes from there is just as exciting.

Crocostyle
Artist

52 comments

# 15 Posted: May 17 2020, 05:49 PM

Really just wanna say both of you did INCREDIBLE! Very sexy, solid stories, very well done both of you!

InkyBrain
Artist

47 comments

# 14 Posted: May 15 2020, 03:51 PM

GodDAMN the both of you! Absolutely KILLED IT! A shame there weren't any tiny, cartoon animals going at it for some folks, eh? Ha ha, anywho...

Shen: Loved your story from beginning to end. You really had me with the spin on Greece ACTUALLY blowing the place up. I was like "awe he just wanted to see Swan again-- oh shit!" Your scenes with the changing positions read smoothly to me - my only suggestion which has already been made here, is to do a little more anatomy studies to apply to your style. For women especially, try smoothing out areas like where the rib cage meets the stomach to hips with sweeping lines instead of in segments; let the lines flow like you do beautifully with hair! Somebody mentioned lighting but I don't share that opinion - this read to me as a one night stand ordeal, not a passionate affair, which I believe is what you were looking to accomplish. Only other thing I can think of is that I would've liked to see Swan use some of those Sylph powers during all that heated UNF. But other than that, I think you did wonderfully, and I learned something about Greece along the way while keeping that "want it but shouldn't" vibe from Swan. Excellent, sexy work my dear!!

JCee: Lawdy, the sexy is oozing from them beautiful bodies you drew! As with Shen's, I found the rapid switching and multiple positions paramount to the kind of sex they were having - again, one night stand, trying to prove something to the other, type of ordeal. I can tell you really enjoyed drawing each position from bodies to expressions, and I enjoyed being a pervert while looking them over! :B There's only 2 things I can think of to work on: First has already been mentioned, the transition of Greece being in cuffs may have worked better if you'd had one panel maybe on page 14 or earlier, showing Swan convincing Greece to put them on. I think that would have sold it a little better, although I found the ending still quite satisfying! The other is just a note of character - If this comic was just for setup of smut, disregard. But if this would be considered part of Swan's canon, then I have to wonder just where her moral alignment is. While getting Greece arrested in the hilarious end, she was still down for the DO with a terrorist, even apparently instigating it from the get-go. But I also get the sense that she's trying to liberate herself from what happened with Remy, possibly making bad choices along the way? It's interesting, and I'd love to see you work more of that out in future comics!! Overall, a damn good job on the story and art!

Just wanna reiterate: You guys did amazing on these! Whether they were meant to be canononical or just smutty fun, they both worked superbly for either! GIVE ME MORE.

GodDAMN the both of you! Absolutely KILLED IT! A shame there weren't any tiny, cartoon animals going at it for some folks, eh? Ha ha, anywho...

Shen: Loved your story from beginning to end. You really had me with the spin on Greece ACTUALLY blowing the place up. I was like "awe he just wanted to see Swan again-- oh shit!" Your scenes with the changing positions read smoothly to me - my only suggestion which has already been made here, is to do a little more anatomy studies to apply to your style. For women especially, try smoothing out areas like where the rib cage meets the stomach to hips with sweeping lines instead of in segments; let the lines flow like you do beautifully with hair! Somebody mentioned lighting but I don't share that opinion - this read to me as a one night stand ordeal, not a passionate affair, which I believe is what you were looking to accomplish. Only other thing I can think of is that I would've liked to see Swan use some of those Sylph powers during all that heated UNF. But other than that, I think you did wonderfully, and I learned something about Greece along the way while keeping that "want it but shouldn't" vibe from Swan. Excellent, sexy work my dear!!

JCee: Lawdy, the sexy is oozing from them beautiful bodies you drew! As with Shen's, I found the rapid switching and multiple positions paramount to the kind of sex they were having - again, one night stand, trying to prove something to the other, type of ordeal. I can tell you really enjoyed drawing each position from bodies to expressions, and I enjoyed being a pervert while looking them over! :B There's only 2 things I can think of to work on: First has already been mentioned, the transition of Greece being in cuffs may have worked better if you'd had one panel maybe on page 14 or earlier, showing Swan convincing Greece to put them on. I think that would have sold it a little better, although I found the ending still quite satisfying! The other is just a note of character - If this comic was just for setup of smut, disregard. But if this would be considered part of Swan's canon, then I have to wonder just where her moral alignment is. While getting Greece arrested in the hilarious end, she was still down for the DO with a terrorist, even apparently instigating it from the get-go. But I also get the sense that she's trying to liberate herself from what happened with Remy, possibly making bad choices along the way? It's interesting, and I'd love to see you work more of that out in future comics!! Overall, a damn good job on the story and art!

Just wanna reiterate: You guys did amazing on these! Whether they were meant to be canononical or just smutty fun, they both worked superbly for either! GIVE ME MORE.

ArtsandGoodies
Artist

566 comments

# 13 Posted: May 14 2020, 07:19 PM

Shen: Your story is great, I like how you implemented the sex as an element of the story. The sex itself wasn't the sexiest but it fits since this is looking on a past event with regret so having it look super ideal would sort of contrast with that tone. If you did want it to be sexier (This is complete subjectivity since what anyone finds sexy is different.) the one thing I would say most that would help is lighting, for bedroom scenes the lighting tends to be darker with some dim lighting only, I don't know why this is the case but bedroom scenes tend to have dark lighting. That being said the characters are well lit but the room is just too bright for them. The twist at the end was great story wise. This was a great comic with a nice implementation of sex into the story.

Jcee: I always love seeing your comics art, you have some of my favorite monochromic art on the site.
For the sex all the poses in your smut was great however the problem is in the pacing. Having a montage of poses works for a quick scene were the reader is but with the length of this scene there should have been more time spent on each pose giving us more intimacy like the two characters are having with each other. Each sex pose takes time to get into and a lot of movements so you can't treat it like a fight scene going from one pose to another without leaving the reader feeling like they're missing huge gaps of time. Some more close ups and different and less of the same poses would have made this feel more intimate and like the reader is in the scene. Also the final climax felt subdued. Not sure if you will do another smut comic again but those are things to keep in mind when telling a smut focused story.
Also in terms of story it's nice to see swan have a little fun and let loose it's a nice way to show character growth and Swan slowly able to move on and truly recover. I always enjoy your comics.

Pita (Slowly getting back into it)
Approval Committee

285 comments

# 12 Posted: May 14 2020, 11:44 AM

I'll say right out that this character dynamic ain't my personal jam, so any input I would have about the inherent sexiness of this match would be moot. Let's just get into the technical and storytelling points of these.
What strikes me first and foremost is how both of your characters used sex to get the upper hand in your respective rounds. The sheer coincidence of both of them having a work relationship in the ring was striking, too. If this was planned beforehand, that's a good way to maintain consistency within a character's arc. How for the individual bits--

SHEN

Spoiler: Show

JCEE

Spoiler: Show

I'll say right out that this character dynamic ain't my personal jam, so any input I would have about the inherent sexiness of this match would be moot.  Let's just get into the technical and storytelling points of these.
What strikes me first and foremost is how both of your characters used sex to get the upper hand in your respective rounds.  The sheer coincidence of both of them having a work relationship in the ring was striking, too.  If this was planned beforehand, that's a good way to maintain consistency within a character's arc.  How for the individual bits--

SHEN
[spoiler]There's a lot of cheating or shorthand when it comes to your bodies, and they're exaggerated to a point that I can't read them as naturally occurring.  I know this is a thing you've struggled with in the past, and I encourage you to continue working on anatomy by studying references.  Otherwise, we get chonky muscles, floating poses, broken wrists and ankles, and spherical boobs.  It looks more artificial than organic.

There needs to be a variety in how you draw bodies, too.  To get right to the point, there were parts in this entry where it looked like Greece was gettin physical with Gray and not Swan.

Your coloring is very good, though, and the explosions were Super Nice.  That's something I appreciate.[/spoiler]

JCEE
[spoiler]You have more solid and consistent looking bodies, but the sex just
kept
on
going
to a point where it became more laughable than indulgent.  The jump cuts implied they've been at this for longer than I expected.  If you want to embellish for the page count, I would say to do less jump cuts between different positions and instead try to have the motions flow in a more "real-time" situation.

The fight scene in the ring needed a bit better coordination.  Greece's suplex put impact on Swan's neck, and under regular circumstances, she would have had that thing snap.  She's not invulnerable.

And while the ending was pretty fun (she got him handcuffed for the police!), it was a sudden revelation with little build-up.  Why not incorporate the handcuffs into the foreplay or actual sex, and then she refuses to release them as she notifies the police?  That could be an alternate ending that would have still worked in her favor.
It's kinda funny to see Greece have those DBZ eyes, though.  I could hear Kirbopher's Vegeta voice when I was reading this entry.[/spoiler]

Energy
Artist

139 comments

# 11 Posted: May 11 2020, 05:20 PM

Great job, both of you.

Enef
Artist

58 comments

# 10 Posted: May 11 2020, 05:07 PM

THIS IS SOME REALLY GOOD STUFF, I need to think about my votes for a while and I'll try and maybe come up with something to critique whilst I do.

Great work guys, honestly, y'all nailed it.

Rikun
Artist

151 comments

# 9 Posted: May 11 2020, 12:07 PM

If I want to be honest I don't have much to say except the both of you did stellar jobs on your ends. You've both not only told a fun, kinky story but have also pushed your comic skills to the limit with every single new story you produce, whether it be Shen's colors or JCee's linework. I'm excited to see what more you can do with each of your respective characters, and I hope one day I'll have the chance to interact with them!!

TheCydork
Artist

606 comments

# 8 Posted: May 11 2020, 02:42 AM

Ahhh great job both of you! And kudos for doing a smut battle haha.

Shen: Show

Yes love this lightinnggg I know you were worried about it but it looks great! Purple and orange really is a classic combo. The sex poses were really good, I love the top left one on page 10. The angle of the jaw, yes. The wrestling poses as well, I really feel the impact and motion in them. People interacting in close quarters, whether that be fighting or fucking, and actually looking like they’re connecting or in the same scene even is always really hard to get right and you convey them superbly. The hero-villain dynamic is always fun, and I liked how in the end this was just a ploy to get away with Crimes.

Also? Greece’s shirt. I can’t get over it. Lycan subscribe holy shit.

Crit time: I feel like the vibe is a little off at times. I know that Greece is forward, kind of an ass and pretty lewd but he came off as creepy here at times. A lot of his smiles read as sinister to me, such as page 4 panel 3, especially combined with Swan’s fearful expression, and then there was the full on grabbing Swan’s tit on page 11. Tbh, I feel like the creepy smiles and hovering is more of a Ghost thing than a Greece thing, but of course they’re your characters and I could be misinterpreting things. Continuing with Vibes, I know this is supposed to be just a smut battle and plot doesn’t matter, but it didn’t feel much of a smut battle. We get pages of setup to what we know is coming, and then one page of actual NSFW. So it fell a little flat for me, because the story without the smut is nothing too fancy, and then the smut itself finished as soon as it began.

Art-wise, sometimes Swan’s boobs seem far too round and not really connected to her body properly, such as the top right pose on page 10. I’m not best at explaining how these muscles work though, so maybe just look at pecs some more idk. Greece’s hands seemed weirdly large and spindly at times, such as the bottom left and top middle panels on that same page. This is also pretty minor but his canine teeth like switch position from the top ones being in front to the bottom ones a couple of times.

JCee: Show

Ahhh great job both of you! And kudos for doing a smut battle haha.

[Spoiler=Shen]Yes love this lightinnggg I know you were worried about it but it looks great! Purple and orange really is a classic combo. The sex poses were really good, I love the top left one on page 10. The angle of the jaw, yes. The wrestling poses as well, I really feel the impact and motion in them. People interacting in close quarters, whether that be fighting or fucking, and actually looking like they’re connecting or in the same scene even is always really hard to get right and you convey them superbly. The hero-villain dynamic is always fun, and I liked how in the end this was just a ploy to get away with Crimes.

Also? Greece’s shirt. I can’t get over it. Lycan subscribe holy shit.

Crit time: I feel like the vibe is a little off at times. I know that Greece is forward, kind of an ass and pretty lewd but he came off as creepy here at times. A lot of his smiles read as sinister to me, such as page 4 panel 3, especially combined with Swan’s fearful expression, and then there was the full on grabbing Swan’s tit on page 11. Tbh, I feel like the creepy smiles and hovering is more of a Ghost thing than a Greece thing, but of course they’re your characters and I could be misinterpreting things. Continuing with Vibes, I know this is supposed to be just a smut battle and plot doesn’t matter, but it didn’t feel much of a smut battle. We get pages of setup to what we know is coming, and then one page of actual NSFW. So it fell a little flat for me, because the story without the smut is nothing too fancy, and then the smut itself finished as soon as it began.

Art-wise, sometimes Swan’s boobs seem far too round and not really connected to her body properly, such as the top right pose on page 10. I’m not best at explaining how these muscles work though, so maybe just look at pecs some more idk. Greece’s hands seemed weirdly large and spindly at times, such as the bottom left and top middle panels on that same page. This is also pretty minor but his canine teeth like switch position from the top ones being in front to the bottom ones a couple of times.[/spoiler]

[spoiler=JCee]Okay the scene at the end made me laugh, poor Greece just lyin’ there naked while the cops arrive. Anyway, hoo boy you really brought the smut! I’m impressed by how many different positions and angles you illustrated, and so well too! Your anatomy is excellent. My favourite pose has to be panel 3, page 11 - the curve of Swan’s body is really nice, and the tension in her braced arm is palpable. I also like how you actually drew the distortion in her chest on page 12 when Greece is grabbing her, it’s just the little lines that make a big difference on whether something feels real or not yknow?

And can I just say you’re really brave for doing an actual dick closeup like damn that must have been nerve-wracking to put out there haha.

Critttt: the sort of dot-like texture you use here I think is far too strong, it really distracted me throughout the comic, especially because it wasn’t a texture that covered everything on the page. Having untextured, plain swathes of colour next to texture made it all the more obtrusive for me. Some panels I also couldn’t tell what was going on because the “camera” was too close, such as the small panels on the bottom right of page 2 and bottom left of page 5.

You had a similar problem to Shen with the boobs at times, like on page 2 the line continues past where they connect near the armpit so they look like spheres. Page 3 panel 3, Swan is upside down and so they should be distorted and dropping down towards her face with gravity, but they still stay perky and circular.

And again, I know plot isn’t the focus of these things, but I did find it a little Too convenient that Swan managed to both call the police and handcuff Greece without him noticing.[/spoiler]

Brabbit
Artist