Verdazin/ Corn: This line art is good and I like how your two characters work together, also i did check the little Bios after the other crits and . I do also like the spots of gray but I think there need to be more graytones and some blackspotting for this to truly work. Like for the panels with no backgrounds adding a gray-scale gradient would add more depth pretty quickly. I do like grayscales and look forward to seeing you try them more, i just think it needs a bit more spots with grays and it will help the line art pop that much more.
Enigma/Jelly: I know you mentioned a lot life stuff got in the way so congrats on being able to get this much in. The pencils are really good and clean looking and I did enjoy the story, the dialogue between the two was enjoyable and the pacing that led up to the fight was good. However the resolution of the camera and the lack of contrast adjusting is a shame, Next time you take a picture with your phone fiddle around with the different edit options in the photo option, there should be a couple good black and white ones that help make the lines show more clearly. also make sure to crop the outside parts. Even when it's down to the wire taking a minute to do these things will help a lot.
Tag Team Magical Girl Death Tournament / Hollow Passion and Logic vs. Morgana and Nikki
Critiques & Comments
# 9
Posted:
Mar 1 2019, 05:25 PM
# 8
Posted:
Mar 1 2019, 09:48 AM
I forgot to mention it in my previous comment, but Julz caught it, too. Yeah,why is Logic stupid? You even gave Nikki a line about how stupid she is. Seems like you miscast your own character.
# 7
Posted:
Feb 28 2019, 08:17 PM
Verdazin/Corn: This comic feels a little empty even though I know it's suppose to be finished. I must say that I REALLY like the character designs and the way they seemingly compliment eachother, both in color and in demeanor. Not sure if that was intentional, but I love it XD. As far as the aret goes, it can get a little shoddy here and there. I feel like the quality fluctuates aLOT. Page 2 bottom left panel is really cute :3 I like alot of the poses and facial expressions. Even though there is a lack of color, a little grayscale could have gone a long way for dimension/depth. Page 6 has a lot of good panels. Logic seems like kind of an airhead. Am I mistaken or isn't she suppose to be the intellectual? There are so many issues with page 2 1st panel... Cmon guys XD You have those distracting boxes that add nothing to the composition, you have lineart getting covered by said box line. You have lazy character art. Incomplete coloring in Logic. Those word bubbles could use some work too maybe. I liked this comic though, good job!
Foolsenigma/Jellyraptor: Man, like, the art is actually not bad, but we lose a ton of fidelity/resolution from the awful camera. And yeah, i started reading page 2 and im like thats weird why would they write upsidedown... oh they whole page is haha.
Page 4 is unfinished. Top panel of pg 7 looks really cool, i dont know whats up with that panel, but i dig the work but into it regardless. Nice spikes!
Foolsenigma/Jellyraptor: Man, like, the art is actually not bad, but we lose a ton of fidelity/resolution from the awful camera. And yeah, i started reading page 2 and im like thats weird why would they write upsidedown... oh they whole page is haha.
Page 4 is unfinished. Top panel of pg 7 looks really cool, i dont know whats up with that panel, but i dig the work but into it regardless. Nice spikes!
# 6
Posted:
Feb 28 2019, 02:24 PM
Team Heartseekers- I agree that this comic could use more background to place the characters better. Besides that, some of the action is a bit hard to read, when Morgana makes her shield I'm not really sure what she's doing or how the magic is working... however both the deaths-by-being-punched-through were cool, and I like the silhouette!
Team Bad Vibes- I like this comic, it's too bad the second page is rotated. You introduce both teams and the fight starts pretty organically. I wonder what action we miss at the bottom of page four but everything that you do have is easy to read. The writing works well for both teams but I think the last page could have used some text to explain what was happening, or maybe another page at the end to wrap things up. My votes went for this comic.
Team Bad Vibes- I like this comic, it's too bad the second page is rotated. You introduce both teams and the fight starts pretty organically. I wonder what action we miss at the bottom of page four but everything that you do have is easy to read. The writing works well for both teams but I think the last page could have used some text to explain what was happening, or maybe another page at the end to wrap things up. My votes went for this comic.
# 5
Posted:
Feb 27 2019, 09:58 PM
Verdazin/Corn: You’ve got some pretty nice lineart here, but it’s almost completely devoid of backgrounds. I feel like there should either be backgrounds, or this thing should be in full color. As it is, it just seems empty.
Foolsenigma/Jellyraptor: This is the story all about how page 2 got flip turned upside down. Let me take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell ya how to take a photo so it looks like you care.
Your pencils are nice, but you’ve done them a huge disservice by failing to edit these photographed pages. Cellphone camera photos are perfectly good, but you absolutely have to adjust the contrast to make them bright black and white images. Good lighting is key, and a few simple adjustments in the photo editor that comes with any smartphone (even just some of the preset filters) can give you pages that look great without the need for a scanner. (If you’re using an iPhone, a well-lit photo with the Silvertone or Inkwell filter applied looks great without the need for any further editing, in a pinch).
It’s too bad both sides of this battle ended abruptly, just getting the last kill in before the clock runs out, but good efforts, and I know that whichever of you takes round 1, you’ll have an even better round 2!
Foolsenigma/Jellyraptor: This is the story all about how page 2 got flip turned upside down. Let me take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell ya how to take a photo so it looks like you care.
Your pencils are nice, but you’ve done them a huge disservice by failing to edit these photographed pages. Cellphone camera photos are perfectly good, but you absolutely have to adjust the contrast to make them bright black and white images. Good lighting is key, and a few simple adjustments in the photo editor that comes with any smartphone (even just some of the preset filters) can give you pages that look great without the need for a scanner. (If you’re using an iPhone, a well-lit photo with the Silvertone or Inkwell filter applied looks great without the need for any further editing, in a pinch).
It’s too bad both sides of this battle ended abruptly, just getting the last kill in before the clock runs out, but good efforts, and I know that whichever of you takes round 1, you’ll have an even better round 2!
# 4
Posted:
Feb 26 2019, 08:43 AM
yarnwitch: I couldn't follow why they'd have extra hearts too well, so I'm assuming that would have come later?
Quote
It's the jewelry that they wear to get their powers. the idea is that each gem contains a soul. Nikki just has the one on her necklace and Morgana has several on her outfit. You could ask Nigma more about it if you want more info
# 3
Posted:
Feb 26 2019, 08:23 AM
Ooooh, this is a neat matchup.
I really like the innocent feeling that I got from the comic Corn and Verdazin. Logic is very simple and endearing. Your styles melded really well too! I'm happy about it!
Jelly and nigma! I enjoyed your comic, and am very glad I can read upside down. I like the narration you had going on, and the insight into your team's daily lives. I couldn't follow why they'd have extra hearts too well, so I'm assuming that would have come later?
These were both fun to read and I'm excited to see more~
I really like the innocent feeling that I got from the comic Corn and Verdazin. Logic is very simple and endearing. Your styles melded really well too! I'm happy about it!
Jelly and nigma! I enjoyed your comic, and am very glad I can read upside down. I like the narration you had going on, and the insight into your team's daily lives. I couldn't follow why they'd have extra hearts too well, so I'm assuming that would have come later?
These were both fun to read and I'm excited to see more~
# 2
Posted:
Feb 26 2019, 07:20 AM
I've aleady said it on the Discord, but I'm sorry we couldn't deliver a completed comic, Things on our end were seriously hindering our work time on this comic. but enough of that.
You guys did great with your comic! The characters were spot on and I enjoyed it the whole way through. There are a few spots that need some more clarity, though. Like I don't know what's going on at the bottom of page 3 and second panel of page 4 I totally missed that she was supposed to be deflecting bullets on my first read because have have no indication that Morgana ever began firing at Logic. Then at the bottom of page 4 we have a panel of what I think are rooftops with a debris cloud? Again I'm having trouble figuring out just what's supposed to be happening there
You guys did great with your comic! The characters were spot on and I enjoyed it the whole way through. There are a few spots that need some more clarity, though. Like I don't know what's going on at the bottom of page 3 and second panel of page 4 I totally missed that she was supposed to be deflecting bullets on my first read because have have no indication that Morgana ever began firing at Logic. Then at the bottom of page 4 we have a panel of what I think are rooftops with a debris cloud? Again I'm having trouble figuring out just what's supposed to be happening there
# 1
Posted:
Feb 18 2019, 05:53 PM
Really looking forward to seeing what you guys do with my girl Morgana!
Death Match
Drawing Time:
2 weeks
Ended:
Mar 4th, 2019
Votes Cast:
23
Page Views:
2212
Winners:
Verdazin and Corn Of The Breads
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