@ArtsandGoodies
ARTSANDGOODIES
"As someone who has in the past attempted to kill myself in the exact way and went as far as swallowing pills, this didn't really capture the experience of suicide well. It just comes off as way to peaceful and while I only have my own experiences to take from, them having no kind of internal instincts kick in when it happens makes it feel not that real.
There is also the other important part that this doesn't capture is that we don't see the true tragedy of the suicide. The tragedy comes from us seeing reasons for the character to live and the character not being able to see those till it's too late. Stuff like a loving family, caring friends, or some other small thing. Suicide is tragic because the person is in such a dark place they can't see any of those things. As fucked up as it sounds when we don't see any of these things in a story we aren't given a reason to root for them to not kill themselves, when we have those it makes the suicide a lot more tragic and closer to the tragedy of real life suicide. this story feels like a picturebook version of suicide rather than an actual suicide attempt."
This comic was based off my own personal experience with depression and suicide attempts. We talked in DMs about this and I'm honestly a little hurt that you'd post this kind of comment while knowing that? We're not all going to go through things the same way. I would totally understand you not personally relating since our experiences are different, but after saying so yourself, you still go on to criticise based on yours alone. It was my specific experience that informed the comic being written in the way it was.
When I read that the theme was "Isolation", I immediately thought of my first term at university. I had gone overseas from Malaysia to the UK to study. I was in a new country, and had pretty much no contact with any friends at home because we had either drifted apart, or they were too busy dealing with their own problems to worry about me. I was living alone for the first time ever, and had barely even been alone before at all due to helicopter parents who refused to let me out of their sight. My accommodation had no heating or potable water. I'd already been suffering from depression for years prior, which my parents either ignored or chastised me for. My mum would regularly scream things at me like "what did I do in my past life to be punished with you", "this is why everybody hates you", etc etc. The one time I couldn't take it anymore and broke down in public, my dad told me to stop because it made my mum feel bad. That's the background we're dealing with here. At least at the time, I wasn't receiving any love that I just wasn't seeing. I'm glad that you had love that you were able to see afterwards, but I didn't. I was so alone. When I tried to reach out I was only hurt. I remember calling the suicide hotline and being put on hold until the timer ran out 5 times in a row, and thinking to myself, you're right. The universe truly wants you dead.
If you'll notice, this comic is in the first person. I'm drawing from the headspace I had back then. You're not supposed to have a reason to root for the character to live. Because at least when I wanted to die, I didn't want anything stopping me. Everything pointed to a reason I should do it, even the tiniest, trivial things like a Kinder egg shattering or the dead flowers featured here. Again, I'm glad your instincts kicked in, but if your anxiety isn't very high, that doesn't always happen. At the time, I didn't fear death at all. Which was terrifying, as someone who had used to fear it so much it triggered panic attacks on a nightly basis, and who's anxiety is back to very high, if not higher, nowadays. I wasn't trying to write a cautionary tale or bring awareness, I was just trying to get my feelings on paper in a way that was cathartic but not painful enough to resurrect the ideation.
To anyone who reads this btw, thank you and please don't worry about me now. I still have ups and downs but in the following years I found a boyfriend, mended some friendships, joined Void which has given me a sort of goal, my parents have had a few talks with therapists themselves and seem to understand a lot more now. I'm on medication too. I stated all this for context, the character isn't me, just a conduit for the feelings surrounding me 3-4 years ago.
Artist
Red: I loved the chalk-like quality of this comic! It's very soothing and a pretty style, I'd love to see more comics in it. The ending was very sweet, I loved it!
Sean: The screentoning was a neat touch to add contrast, and I really liked the texture for the page that you used! Even seeing how isolated the protagonist is, the ending adds another level of how alone they are. Great work!
Nothin: I liked how you showed the passage of time on this, and the door disappearing at the end was an interesting take of the theme! The final page was definitely the most on theme I feel, with just a wide open sky and the character just sitting there.
Cy: I really love your use of texture and the different style you tried here. While I expected the outcome of the comic, it didn't make it any less tragic and saddening to see it come true. I really hope you keep experimenting with comics like this!
Sorry, I do have to get this off my chest, re: Arts' comment-
Boogi: I'm not overly clear on the ending of this comic, but I like that you seemed to take "isolation" as not a negative theme but a more positive one! Your comics are always interesting to read, and you try out a lot of new styles, which is fun to see!
Justarhymes: Omg this was disgusting XD. I got a great feeling of claustrophobia just from the first page and was expecting some great ol' angst or delving into the claustrophobia, but got grossed out instead, thank you haha. The extra details in the office building made the scene a lot more interesting, nice work.
Decha: The art you've got for this is very cute, but I do think you missed the theme of isolation. The interaction the two had at the end was adorable though. : )
Monday: Please, I almost fell for this joke *yet again.* I love the monochrome tones of your comic, and the lore that you've inserted into it. I was a bit confused on some aspects, but I think it fit the theme and still really enjoyed your comic!