Thanks to everyone who voted and left comments, really helpful stuff, I'll do better next time.
Petrichor, I am absolutely blown away by your comic, it's really inspiring. Thanks so much for the battle!
PIZZA PALS ASSEMBLE / Rae and Blue vs. Gutsmasher
Critiques & Comments
# 11
Posted:
May 2 2020, 04:47 AM
# 10
Posted:
May 1 2020, 11:18 AM
Hot diggity dog I can't add anything of importance to these comments and critiques. These were both great reads and they both went together near seamlessly, Flytee's then Petrichor's entry. The only continuity hickup would have been Petrichor's entry where Gutsy is introduced to Blue's box spirit speaker thing... mhm. But all the explaining and information between the characters was great because how else would they know. Sure it is one thing to assume they have had certain conversations though it is plausible that they had not, especially given Rae's condition and traumatic history, as well as Gutsmasher's happy go lucky attitude. I think this was good character development from both of you!
Ghost Kaiju battle! Great work Flytee and Petrichor that was fun stuff.
Ghost Kaiju battle! Great work Flytee and Petrichor that was fun stuff.
# 9
Posted:
Apr 30 2020, 08:39 AM
Ahhh I really enjoyed both of these! Took me a while to get round to actually voting bc whew, toughie indeed.
Flytee - Like Arts said, the flashbacks were great, I loved how you had this sort of sinew flowing across the page and separating the panels. Is this cult related to the one Elizabeth and Catherine were a part of? The fleshy elements definitely reminded me of those two. I also really liked reading through Rae’s thought process as she changed hairstyles. I wonder how long she’ll be able to stay in wilful denial?
On the other side, I feel like you need to work on your action a bit more; the panels where Rae is supposed to be running feel pretty still and lack urgency imo. The characters overall do feel a bit stiff at times, besides Blue, having limited movement in their limbs. I had a closer look and nobody ever seems to move their shoulders or twist their bodies - the arms and waist feel like hinge joints that can only bend back and forth in one direction. Also, Rae’s hand was backwards on the first page, bottom left corner ^^”
(Btw, thanks for the cheeky cameo hehe, love it.)
Petrichor - As usual, I just love seeing your comics because your style is so damn pleasing. I loved the little chills every time Blue left Guts, and the idea that Blue is improving at possession. You set the tone really well for the creepy house, I dig the kind of sketchy looking effect the people had against the harsh reds of the interior. The Fleshwraith’s design was killer too, simple but effective, loved the that gaping mouth.
However I found the comic a little hard to read with the small, lightly coloured text. The pacing also felt off to me. Just after Rae is injured, it felt like a good ending point, but then the Fleshwraith happens. After it’s defeated, that also felt like a good end, when Rae says she thinks she can trust Guts... but then the story continues again. It just felt like it was lurching along rather than flowing. Also, when Rae fights back against the Fleshwraith, it’s defeated in a single page without much struggle. I didn’t even know she’d won until Gutsmasher said something, because it was just so quick, and there’s no visual indication besides the wraith’s sudden disappearance on the following page.
Overall - I had a hard time voting because both of these were really good. Ultimately I gave Flytee a higher score - the backgrounds were usually fully detailed, whereas Petrichor’s backgrounds were very minimal and empty, except for the odd establishing shot and the end pages. The aforementioned pacing issues in Petrichor’s side also took me out of the comic, so I docked one point from entertainment.
Good job to both of you though! This was a great battle!
Flytee - Like Arts said, the flashbacks were great, I loved how you had this sort of sinew flowing across the page and separating the panels. Is this cult related to the one Elizabeth and Catherine were a part of? The fleshy elements definitely reminded me of those two. I also really liked reading through Rae’s thought process as she changed hairstyles. I wonder how long she’ll be able to stay in wilful denial?
On the other side, I feel like you need to work on your action a bit more; the panels where Rae is supposed to be running feel pretty still and lack urgency imo. The characters overall do feel a bit stiff at times, besides Blue, having limited movement in their limbs. I had a closer look and nobody ever seems to move their shoulders or twist their bodies - the arms and waist feel like hinge joints that can only bend back and forth in one direction. Also, Rae’s hand was backwards on the first page, bottom left corner ^^”
(Btw, thanks for the cheeky cameo hehe, love it.)
Petrichor - As usual, I just love seeing your comics because your style is so damn pleasing. I loved the little chills every time Blue left Guts, and the idea that Blue is improving at possession. You set the tone really well for the creepy house, I dig the kind of sketchy looking effect the people had against the harsh reds of the interior. The Fleshwraith’s design was killer too, simple but effective, loved the that gaping mouth.
However I found the comic a little hard to read with the small, lightly coloured text. The pacing also felt off to me. Just after Rae is injured, it felt like a good ending point, but then the Fleshwraith happens. After it’s defeated, that also felt like a good end, when Rae says she thinks she can trust Guts... but then the story continues again. It just felt like it was lurching along rather than flowing. Also, when Rae fights back against the Fleshwraith, it’s defeated in a single page without much struggle. I didn’t even know she’d won until Gutsmasher said something, because it was just so quick, and there’s no visual indication besides the wraith’s sudden disappearance on the following page.
Overall - I had a hard time voting because both of these were really good. Ultimately I gave Flytee a higher score - the backgrounds were usually fully detailed, whereas Petrichor’s backgrounds were very minimal and empty, except for the odd establishing shot and the end pages. The aforementioned pacing issues in Petrichor’s side also took me out of the comic, so I docked one point from entertainment.
Good job to both of you though! This was a great battle!
# 8
Posted:
Apr 29 2020, 06:39 AM
I really liked both of these a bunch!
These characters are real fun and play off each other really well in both comics.
I enjoyed Rae's character growth in Flytees and the sick kaiju fight in Petrichors comic!
Good work to both of you, I love your characters!
These characters are real fun and play off each other really well in both comics.
I enjoyed Rae's character growth in Flytees and the sick kaiju fight in Petrichors comic!
Good work to both of you, I love your characters!
# 7
Posted:
Apr 28 2020, 09:45 PM
It was fun talking about both of these comic in the mini V-cast Donovan and I hosted even if I was a bit rambly i hope my advice helped and I will reiterate some of it here.
flytee: I really like the flashback panels and the compositions you used for them. Your style is also great but like you mentioned you had some issues properly conveying Gutsmashers body type, as well as inconsistently drawing the detail of gut-smashers cuff. I recommended it in the stream but I'll just repeat but you should check our Burne Hogarth's Dynamic anatomy books and study a bit of that. He does some good extreme detail of muscles that will help you go outside of your comfort zone.
I'm looking forward to where you take their story and the whole soul weaver thing is really cool.
Petrichor: Story wise this was really good and you always bring consistent good action with your comics. Your coloring feels flat with at most two tones and the color you're using to shade isn't strong enough to cause the shadows to recede and the main colors to pop. I showed a couple things you can do to spice up your shading and colors and I would highly recommend using some of them as a lot of them are relatively quick and help the colors pop. On top of that you should have a black and white correction layer on top of it and zoom very far out to make sure character colors aren't blending into the background. There are a lot of things you can do to make your colors pop and once you find things you like doing I think it will be the thing to take your art from good to really great and to being one of the strongest on the site.
flytee: I really like the flashback panels and the compositions you used for them. Your style is also great but like you mentioned you had some issues properly conveying Gutsmashers body type, as well as inconsistently drawing the detail of gut-smashers cuff. I recommended it in the stream but I'll just repeat but you should check our Burne Hogarth's Dynamic anatomy books and study a bit of that. He does some good extreme detail of muscles that will help you go outside of your comfort zone.
I'm looking forward to where you take their story and the whole soul weaver thing is really cool.
Petrichor: Story wise this was really good and you always bring consistent good action with your comics. Your coloring feels flat with at most two tones and the color you're using to shade isn't strong enough to cause the shadows to recede and the main colors to pop. I showed a couple things you can do to spice up your shading and colors and I would highly recommend using some of them as a lot of them are relatively quick and help the colors pop. On top of that you should have a black and white correction layer on top of it and zoom very far out to make sure character colors aren't blending into the background. There are a lot of things you can do to make your colors pop and once you find things you like doing I think it will be the thing to take your art from good to really great and to being one of the strongest on the site.
# 6
Posted:
Apr 27 2020, 08:34 AM
I really got no crits for you two. Both comics are so great and the chemistry between Rae, Blue and Guts is through the roof. Love all the cameos in Flytee's comic and I didn't realize how exciting Pizza Delivery is at Void until now. Petri's version is a bit more serious and I was at the edge of my seat this whole time.
This is a really close battle. Well done both of you!
This is a really close battle. Well done both of you!
# 5
Posted:
Apr 25 2020, 12:53 PM
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
That's all I have to say, both of these are ADORABLE AND PERFECT lfmasofs
That's all I have to say, both of these are ADORABLE AND PERFECT lfmasofs
# 4
Posted:
Apr 25 2020, 08:52 AM
Great work you guys! Both of these are amazing and I love them.
# 3
Posted:
Apr 24 2020, 01:42 PM
Also submitted!
Heheh it's good to get out of the confort zone so we can learn to draw more varied characters. I did a LOT of experimentation in my comic by creating some characters with somewhat complex designs i'm not acostumed to draw lmao.
I'm also really excited to read your side of the battle! and i hope you like mine, i gave my all to finish it :'D
Heheh it's good to get out of the confort zone so we can learn to draw more varied characters. I did a LOT of experimentation in my comic by creating some characters with somewhat complex designs i'm not acostumed to draw lmao.
I'm also really excited to read your side of the battle! and i hope you like mine, i gave my all to finish it :'D
# 2
Posted:
Apr 24 2020, 01:17 PM
Submitted!
I had to shorten the ending scene in order to get a completed comic out, hopefully it's still satisfying.
Also, I'm not gonna lie, I adore Gutsmasher, but I struggled to draw her. Hopefully, she'll help me get the hang of drawing bigger more muscular characters. I did my best u_u
I am beyond excited to read your side Petrichor <3 Thanks so much for battling me!
I had to shorten the ending scene in order to get a completed comic out, hopefully it's still satisfying.
Also, I'm not gonna lie, I adore Gutsmasher, but I struggled to draw her. Hopefully, she'll help me get the hang of drawing bigger more muscular characters. I did my best u_u
I am beyond excited to read your side Petrichor <3 Thanks so much for battling me!
# 1
Posted:
Apr 24 2020, 07:30 AM
PIZZA PALS PIZZA PALS PIZZA PALS
I'm terribly excited for this
I'm terribly excited for this
Regular Match
Drawing Time:
4 weeks + 1
Ended:
May 1st, 2020
Votes Cast:
18
Page Views:
1714
Winner:
Petrichor
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And thanks Flytee for such a close battle! your side was so positive and wholesome! i really felt good after reading it <3